Wow, the tenth chap already...
Well, please enjoy^^
Disclaimer: I don´t own Uragiri wa boku no namae wo shitteiru.
It feels like the time has stopped in the small motel room they share. Only the sounds of arriving and departing cars and trucks on their way through whole Japan disturb the calm silence. It´s afternoon already and the soft light of the beginning dawn seems to bathe the room in a tender golden glow, which would match their eyes perfectly, if they´d open them.
But they don´t.
...
As he finally wakes up, he feels like he has slept better than in all those weeks before. Even though he lies in a foreign bed in a somewhat dirty motel room with a clammy blanket and dusty windows, he feels… rested. Maybe it´s only because he isn´t there alone.
He moves a bit to get a better view at his wristwatch. Half past six p.m. At the same time, he gets aware of an unfamiliar weight somewhere on his side. A hand lies there. He turns over to his other side and notices the blond´s arm resting around him. Not in a possessive manner. More like… wanting to keep the truth that he isn´t alone anymore.
Now, he can watch him quietly and his lips form a light smile as he notices how peaceful Hotsuma looks like when he´s asleep. And the earrings make him look kinda rebellious at the same time. His smile disappears and his expression becomes thoughtful and yet restless.
Have I really found you?
His eyes return to the bare arm wrapped almost tentatively around his waist. It´s the left arm. And it´s full of thin silver lines. Also a few down on his wrist. All scars caused by himself.
Or are you someone else?
Carefully, really, really carefully and slowly he touches one of the in a very morbid way beautiful scars. The younger boy doesn´t wake up. Doubt is written all over Shusei´s pretty features.
You never would´ve done something like this before… cutting yourself…hurting yourself… And… if it really isn´t you… am I betraying you right now?
His amber eyes reflect the image of the pickpocket. But does he see someone else when he looks at him? He closes his eyes again. Imagining the pain that´d rush over the face of the blond when he´d tell him. And the thought that he´d be the one who has caused him so much sorrow. And yet…
Is it really okay to ask you…? Can I ask you? Or is it too selfish?
...
He wakes up and first thing he sees is the brunet lying next to him, facing him with his bangs falling into his eyes and a sense of calm overcomes him. With a small blush he notices his left arm wrapped around the smaller boy, but latter doesn´t seem to mind in his sleep. So he keeps his arm where it is and studies the elder while he´s asleep. His hands are resting right next to his cheek and his shoulders look even thinner in the lumberjack shirt which is a few sizes too big. He doesn´t look like a seventeen-year-old Highschool student like this. The brunet looks younger now, younger and vulnerable.
I wonder… who exactly you are…
The scenes where the older boy has proven so often that he isn´t just a mere student keep repeating themselves in his mind. Like the time he has protected him of the gang member who had been about to stab him with a knife. Or when he himself had been running from him with latter´s wallet in the hand and how the brunet has followed him without any signs of exhaustion. And the way he has treated him. Not like the police do. The police treat those who live as criminals not nicer than homeless dogs.
But Shusei has treated him… like a human.
What was your reason…?
Suddenly, something catches his attention. A thin black chain resting beneath the brunet´s clothes, hardly to see, but he has noticed it though. He blinks curiously. He carefully removes his hand from its place on the other´s waist and pulls the light chain out. And his heart skips a beat.
What the-?
He recognizes the chain. It´s the same he had stolen from him the night he had stayed at his place. But no, it´s not exactly the same. In the middle of the black cross there´s not a glowing red ruby but a golden, softly shining amber, so similar to his eyes. He doesn´t know why, but his heart aches at the sight.
I promised not to ask you…
He puts the necklace back to its place, eyes narrowing in anxiety and agitation.
The chain I took that night…belongs to someone else, right?
He sits up, one hand running through his messy locks.
Someone who is important to you…
...
"Takashiro? Why does he not remember? His last wish before dying hasn't been reincarnating as a human without memories of this life…his life"
"We can only speculate about that…"
"…"
"We guess that he lives somewhere in Tokyo, but it´s not proofed that he lives on the street…"
"…"
"But if he does… would it not be even more painful if he´d know about his life as a Zweilt?"
"…"
"If it was you, Shusei… wouldn´t you want to forget about something that causes you even more pain? Like memories where you lose your comrades and friends in a battle against cruel and violent demons…again and again"
"…"
"You´d want to forget about it, too, right? If you were in the same situation..."
...
As they drive back, it´s quiet silent in the car. Each keeps quiet, deep in thought and eyes moving to the far horizon again and again. But how breaking the silence when both aren´t sure what they want to know.
If they want to know.
Either way, maybe someone will get hurt.
...
He carefully places the bag with the money in front of the front door of the mansion. And on top of the bag, he lays a small note. 'Sorry' is written there. He steps back, frowning and then glancing at the brunet standing at the other side of the gate, watching him. He digs his hands into his pockets and walks back to him, eyes looking down to the ground. They´ve brought the car already back to the place they have taken it from. And now there is no reason anymore to still hang around with each other.
So, does it mean, going back to his old so-called 'life'? Living in the cave of an old warehouse, smoking joints, fucking cutting himself, stealing other people´s wallets and spraying graffiti at night? Not that it would change if he´d still meet the smaller boy from time to time. But maybe… it´d chase the loneliness he feels so often away.
But how could he tell him that he wants him to stay in his life? Maybe be even a part of it. Well, if the brunet is up to that. Since he is just a mere pickpocket living in the dirty alleys of Tokyo who tries every day not to starve and whose only joy is causing as much trouble as he can.
Yet, you asked me to be friends with me…
...
He stops walking. They stand somewhere in a park beneath a big tree, which´s shadow hides them perfectly and offers them some coolness from the heat of the evening. No one looks at them and they silently watch the many people that pass. It´s a weird feeling like viewing the world from outside.
And it´s only the two of them and they see each other.
How can one say 'I don´t want you to go' without saying 'I don´t want you to go'?
...
He knows the blond only for a few weeks, but it feels longer to him, and much deeper than with any other of his friends. His amber eyes move up to the sun and the light that breaks through the roof out of leaves above him hits his face in silver and green rays. Only one more week until he has summer vacation. And then… he´d maybe have plenty of time to spend with Hotsuma.
He leans against the log and lets out a quiet sigh, unsure of what to say. He can feel what is lingering around them and what makes it so hard to get through the silence. They think about each other, yet don´t know who the other is. Who they´re supposed to see when they look at each other.
Am I feeling you or him?
...
"Hey… Shusei" he mutters, his heart beating hard against his ribcage. His fingers claw into the log behind him, feeling the rough surface. The smaller boy doesn´t answer. And he can´t see his eyes right now, because his eyes are focused on the dry grass in front of him.
He waits a bit, not really sure if he wants an answer or not. Then he parts his lips and continues. "Ya know-"
"Hotsuma" the brunet interrupts him with the calm voice of his.
He blinks inquiringly.
"I know what you want to say"
A blush creeps over his pale cheeks and he rips part of the bark off.
"And before you say it…"
Suddenly, he has a very strange feeling about this and his heartbeat gets slower. And it stops and starts to hurt at the same time as the sound of those words reach his ears.
"I got to tell you something first, because…"
"…" I don´t want to hear it!
"…Because after that… maybe you don´t want to look at me anymore…"
To be continued...
To be honest, I thought quite long abou this chapter. It wasn´t that easy to write and I still hope that the way Shusei and Hotsuma act is and feels still In-Character for them.
But well, the plot picks up now and here I wanna reveal a small secret:
Actually, this story was set for four to five chapters. Now there´re already ten and it´s maybe only half of the plot until now.
But unlike with my old Uraboku fic, I still enjoy writing this story really much, even though school and life is quite tough right now. But my dear readers keep encouraging me with their lovely reviews. So thank you all so much for your support :)
But since this is the tenth chap, I´d like to ask all of you how you think about the plot so far, maybe what kind of wishes you have concerning the storyline and maybe what kind of things you don´t like.
The second part of 'Streetfire' will contain definitly more drama and plot (and more screentime of the other Zweilts) and therefore I kinda need to know how the readers feel about this story and so on.
So, please Review^^