Deeks woke alone in his room. Talia had yet to be by. He wondered if they were fighting, but he only recalled telling her she was a tidy wifey as she left the room, before it goes dark again. He closed his eyes he saw Kensi in her wedding dress again, being escorted by Callen and Sam. He wondered why neither him or Granger were the one walking her down the aisle. After all wasn't Granger close to her father, someone he considered a friend. Wasn't he, himself her best friend. He figured maybe he was Kensi's best man, since she really didn't have many friends, or at least any she's fully disclosed to him that he could recall. He wondered why Granger hadn't been by either, although he's pretty certain the assistant director isn't that fond of him. Then he recalled Sam saying it's been ten years since Afghanistan, maybe Granger retired. That thought quickly vanished as he realized Hetty is nearing her 80s and still working, Granger must certainly be too. He wished he could remember more than little tid bits. Said tid bits which always seemed to revolve around Kensi.

"Good afternoon, Mr. Deeks, you had a good amount of rest today."

"There's not too much to do alone in a hospital room. Might as well get some good shut eye."

"Good point," Dr Mane agreed. She was a tall red head nearing her 40s. "I'm Dr Mane, I specialize in brain recollection. I'm also a rehabilitation therapist. I wanted the DR in front of my name, but more so to help people like you, therefore I received my doctorate as well."

"Impressive and What a coincidence, I'm an MD too." His humor was still there.

"I like that. Marty Deeks. Very humorous. Enough with the pleasantries, Down to business. I hear you've determined the amount of missing time to be ten years?"

"Right to it, no wine and dine huh? So, That's what they tell me, I remember minutes before the injury and then nothing from ten years ago until then. Although, it feels like yesterday for some of the memories."

"I would only like to talk today, and then leave you with a few memory exercises. Does that sound ok?"

"Sure, you're the DR. I'm just the MD."

"Tell me about your life," Kim began.

"I'm a detective. I work for NCIS as the LAPD liaison, which you already know or you wouldn't be here allowed to ask these questions."

She smirked, "personal life?"

"Seems I'm married," he pointed to the ring.

"What about your wife? What's she like?"

Deeks Laid his head back on his pillow. "This is between us right?" Deeks struggles with his conscious on what he was about to admit.

"Yes, Of course. Dr client privilege. As an Md you know that."

A small smile crept across Deeks' face. He felt he may have met his match.

"The woman I love smells like sunshine and gunpowder, but she's not my wife. I wish to Hell I knew what happened between us and how I ended up married to Talia. I want to remember. I can't ask either of them. I mean I obviously love Talia to marry her, but I can't shake Kensi from my mind."

"I know I said we'd just talk, but can you close your eyes and just relax. No talking, just listen to sounds around you."

Deeks followed directions and just listened. The beeping of machines rang in his ears. "I was hurt before."

"It seems so."

"Kensi was there sitting with me. Eating my jello again. It wasn't when I was shot. It had to be more recently because I see My hair was longer like it is now. Or was before my nice little trim courtesy of Dr Jilliard."

Kim tried not to laugh. She liked Deeks, which mostly everyone did, and wanted to help him. "I'm going to give you this book to write in. Any time you remember anything you can write it down. This way, we can start piecing things together with the help of your family and friends."

"Like a journal. Kensi almost killed me for reading hers."

"Write down anything and everything, no matter how big or small of detail, you think happened after Afghanistan, we can go from there. Take time to look and listen to sounds. Smell, taste, use your senses with out distractions to trigger memories. Visual is the most effective, but the other senses will aid as well."

"One thing Doctor, please keep my mother out of it. She worries too much."

"No promises. We want you fully recovered. Good bye for now MD."

That earned a smile, "good talk."

Deeks took some time to follow directions and use his senses. Deeks dosed off as he relaxed. He was startled when he heard the helicopter taking off from the hospital pad. Lights flashed through his eyes as he felt like he was falling uncontrollably. He closed his eyes tight as felt the room spinning. The feeling of nausea subsided and he slowly opened his eyes. Visions flowed through his head, seeing Kensi trapped beneath a helicopter made his stomach turn again. "What the hell," he murmured as he wrote down his memory as instructed. He pushed so hard to remember, that his head starting pounding.

"How will I ever remember if I get a headache so bad I wanna throw up, every time I think."

Nurse Sandy came to check on Deeks at that moment. "How's your pain?"

"Mexico"

"Mexico? Is that a new number I am unaware of."

"No, no, yea, I'm sorry. That's where I was when I suffered my last concussion. Kensi was with me. I just remember my head hurting so bad. The room was spinning. I felt like I was gonna throw up."

"That's not the most pleasant memory, but a memory none the less. And this happened in the gap your missing."

"Im pretty certain. My hair used to be shorter. I needed to live up to my nick name Shaggy, sonI let it grow. When I see me, my hair was longer."

"If you write it down, we can check with Hetty and the others."

"Ya, that would be good. Great in fact."

"I'm going to give you something for the pain. You may get drowsy. But his Etsy rest is a key. Don't over do it. I worked in a memory unit for a few years. It's a hard thing to see people forget who they love." She weakly smiled.

"It's a hard thing to be the one who can't remember."

"I'm sure. I'm sorry." Nurse Sandy said as she finished his vitals and increasing his pain meds. Deeks slowly drifted to sleep hoping memories would dance through his dreams.

Kensi and Callen arrived at her and Deeks house.

"I need a minute," she breathed deeply.

"Kens,"

"Please Callen. I just need a minute."

"We can sit here as long as you need, but it's not getting easier."

"I know. I just, I just need to find the right words."

"I can't really say I understand, but I support you."

They sat in silence for nearly twenty mins.

"Kens," Callen began.

"Ok," she opened the car door. She felt terrible. She had barely been home and Roberta had no clue what had happened, just that work was keeping them away. Hetty came over to keep her company. On one hand Kensi hoped Hetty had been the one to tell her, on the other she knew it had to be her. She walked slowly to the front door and opened it. Two arms grabbed tightly around her.

"It's about time. I've been worried sick. At least Hetty had the sense to come help an old lady out."

"Mama Deeks, you are not old at all." Callen assured her.

"You're too nice sweetheart. Where's your beautiful Russian spy and her hunky dad."

"Please Not again!" Kensi begged.

"I have to agree, no more, Roberta," Hetty shook her head in disgust. "I can see him singing Birdy Davis eyes in Nothing but a towel around his waste. An image I won't ever forget and never want to see again."

"Fine!"

"Did you tell her anything?" Kensi whispered.

"I'm afraid that's your job my dear."

If only she could find the words and the courage without hurting her or scaring her too much. Kensi just wanted to keep her safe from the pain she was enduring. In the end, she knew it was impossible because Life as they knew it might be changed forever.