Faster update than before, yeyy! :D Are y'all proud of me now? Haha, no but seriously, I'm glad that I got this one out faster, I feel kinda bad for the cliffhanger even though it was necessary. I hope that you can forgive me in due time :) So, without further ado, I present to you the one and only tenth chapter of Chemistry. Enjoy!
Chemistry
Ch.10 – Break me down
The door crashed against the wall behind it as Kurt pushed it open and marched in just to stop dead in his tracks, his breath hitching in his throat.
"B-Blaine?"
At the sound of his name the curly haired man looked up from where he was spread out on the floor like a starfish, his hair tousled and gaze unfocused. "Kurr?", he slurred, his head lolling around as if he was trying to determine where the pale boy was. "S'too dark", he grunted in a low voice, putting a hand to his forehead and squeezing his eyes firmly shut as if in pain.
Puck stepped past Kurt to get a look as well. "Fuck, Anderson", he exclaimed as soon as he caught sight of said boy. "What did you do?"
Blaine didn't seem to hear him at all. He just continued whimpering pitifully. "Hurts."
That was enough to rip Kurt from his daze.
"Oh my God, Blaine!", he shouted and rushed forward to fall on his knees next to the curly haired boy. "Shit, are you okay? What happened? Where does it hurt?"
Blaine seemed deep in thought for a minute before he answered very slowly. "Dunno. Juss happn'd."
"Wha- Blaine! What are you doing?", Kurt shouted frantically when the curly-haired boy tried to push himself up into a sitting position, quite unsuccessfully. "Stay down! We don't know what's wrong with you! You could have serious injuries!"
Blaine ignored him, trying to swat Kurt's hands away. "M'fine."
"No you're not", Kurt shrieked with wide, wet eyes, nearly in hysterics. "You- you need to... I don't know what... Why aren't you doing anything?", he suddenly screamed at the scientists who still stood in the door, watching the scene unfold. "Something's wrong with him! Help him!"
"Um... Kurt?", Puck tried to interrupt, but Kurt didn't want to listen.
"Blaine," he pleaded with the curly-haired boy. "Blaine, come on, please. Don't move around so much, you don't-"
"Kurrt", Blaine suddenly giggled as his too-bright eyes focused on Kurt's, a dopey grin spreading on his face. "Kurrt! Your eyes're... like... rrreally blue." And then he cracked up like he'd just made the joke of the century.
"Oh my God, he must've hit his head", Kurt squealed in horror. "He's totally out of it! What if he has a concussion?"
"Kurt!" Puck still tried to get the pale boy's attention, but was ignored as Kurt touched his hand to Blaine's sweaty forehead.
"Shit! He's burning up too! What does that mean? It it bad?"
"Kurt! Listen to me!", Puck finally shouted and said boy whipped around.
"What?", he snapped anxiously, his eyes still wide with concern.
"Calm down, will you? He's not sick", the mohawked boy said, looking more than a little amused for some reason. Kurt was about to snap at him because this was not funny when he suddenly noticed the empty bottle of what looked like Vodka in Puck's hand.
"I- what?", he asked, confused.
Puck chuckled and shook the bottle a little so that the remaining drops splashed around inside. "Concussion my ass. Wonderboy here just can't hold his liquor, that's all." At Kurt's stunned look Puck rolled his eyes good-naturedly. "Oh come on, princess. That's not really a surprise, is it? I mean, just look at his height! He's a fucking hobbit."
Kurt was honestly speechless. He turned his baffled gaze back to the curly-haired boy who was now trying to pull himself to his feet over at the kitchen counter. "Blaine. Are you... Are you drunk?"
"Drink's good", Blaine slurred in response, flashing Kurt a toothy grin that seemed far too wide to be healthy. Then he turned green.
"Oh shit, no", Kurt mumbled and dragged the other man to his feet and over to the sink. He turned away as soon as the retching noises started, wrinkling his nose. He had always hated that sound.
Puck laughed loudly and clapped Blaine on his back, making the boy wince. "Damn, I do not envy you, man. That's gonna be one hell of a hangover."
Kurt looked at him incredulously. "You think this is funny?"
Puck shrugged, a huge grin still splitting his face. "Yeah, pretty much."
Kurt frowned and was about to reply indignantly on Blaine's behalf, but startled instead when one of the scientists suddenly cleared his throat. "Well, thank you Mr Hummel, Mr Puckerman. I think we'll take it from here."
Kurt glared at him. "Well, look who's decided to join the party," he said sarcastically as he rubbed Blaine's heaving back in comfort. He remembered how his mom had always done that for him when he got sick as a kid. "What do you mean 'take it from here'? What's going to happen now?"
"Well Mr Hummel", the scientist said in what Kurt assumed was his business voice. "Seeing as Mr Anderson has violated our company rules we will have to withdraw him from the experiment. He's no longer a valid contestant."
"I'm sorry Sir, but what rule exactly are you referring to?", Kurt asked snappishly, not quite sure why he was so angry at the man.
The scientist sighed. "Mr Hummel. I'm sure you remember that in the sign up questionnaire for this experiment you had to answer a few questions referring to drugs and alcohol of any sorts, especially if you have been clean for at least three years." At Kurt's brief nod the scientist continued. "You see, to get proper test results only people without any addiction – past or present – are allowed in the experiment. And Mr Anderson's behavior just now..."
"Okay, hold on a second", Kurt interrupted and stopped in wetting a paper towel to wipe the curly-haired boy's mouth with to fix the scientist with an incredulous look. "You think that because he got drunk once Blaine is an alcoholic all of the sudden? I never saw him drink before now! Why would you pull him out of the experiment?"
"Well, we don't have any knowledge of his past with drugs before these three required years", the scientist argued. "For all we know it could always happen again and the supervisors see it as our obligation to prevent that."
"Then why don't you just take the alcohol you stored in the house and put that away!", Kurt exclaimed indignantly, still fussing over Blaine who had slumped down onto a kitchen chair with a pained groan, looking far beyond exhausted. "I don't even know why you put that there in the first place."
"But Mr Anderson-"
"I'll have an eye on him", Kurt interrupted harshly, surprising even himself. Why was he being so protective? "I'll make sure that he stays away from drugs of any sort. Assuming that he's an alcoholic is just ridiculous."
"But-"
"Please", Kurt said, now slightly pleading. "He won't pull anything like that again. I promise."
For a few minutes the scientists seemed to ponder his proposal, then one of them nodded slowly. "Fine." Kurt let out a breath he hadn't known he was holding. "But you will be held responsible if anything goes wrong. At the next violation he's out."
The pale boy nodded gratefully and the scientists left with a formal goodbye, closing the door behind them. Kurt sighed heavily and turned towards the sink to wet another towel, but was faced with an angry looking Puck instead.
"What the hell was that?", the mohawked boy asked loudly, stepping forward.
Kurt instinctively took a step back. "What do you mean?", he asked in response, confused.
"Don't play dumb with me!", Puck growled and pointed at Blaine. "Why did you help him out? That was your chance to get revenge for the way he treated you and you just blew it!"
Kurt couldn't believe his ears. "Excuse me? I won't let him be taken away for something as stupid as getting drunk!"
"So you're just gonna let him stay here when all he does is hurt you?", Puck asked incredulously, shaking his head. "You can't be serious."
"What", Kurt snapped irritatedly. "He can't be all bad. Besides it would just be mean to make him leave for a little mistake."
Puck growled. "Stop."
Kurt's brow furrowed angrily. "Stop what, Noah?"
"Stop making excuses for him!", Puck exclaimed, gesturing at the wreck that was Blaine on the chair. "'He can't be all bad.' That's bullshit and you know it. He's an arrogant, homophobic bastard and after all the shit he pulled on you he doesn't deserve your help."
"Well, he's also my LIBN", Kurt hissed sharply under his breath so that Blaine wouldn't hear him. Not that he thought that the curly-haired boy would remember anything of this in the morning, but that was beside the point. "You may not care enough about this project to actively make a move on Finn, but I won't waste my chance at happiness, thank you very much."
He regretted his choice of words the second it left his mouth.
Puck looked like he'd been slapped, his mouth agape in disbelief. For a few seconds the two boys just stared at each other silently, Blaine's quiet groans the only sound in the room. Puck was the first to snap out of it, his mouth transforming into a snarl as he hissed at Kurt angrily, a betrayed look on his face. "You know what? Fine. Fine. I'm gonna go to my room." With that he turned around and left, his back stiff and hands clenched to fists at his sides.
Kurt watched him go, feeling guilty. Admittedly that comment had been low, but he honestly hadn't meant to make it sound like he blamed Puck for being unsure about his feelings for Finn. He'd apologize first thing in the morning after the mohawked boy had had a chance to cool off a bit.
A sudden cough pulled Kurt from his train of thoughts. He turned around to face Blaine whose usually tan skin had taken on a sickly pale color now.
Kurt sighed and grabbed the smaller boy under his armpits to hoist him up onto his feet. "C'mon. I'll get you to your room."
Blaine was silent as he let himself be manhandled across the hall, but his astonished eyes never left Kurt's. At first the pale boy tried to ignore it, but seeing that staring made him uncomfortable ever since his high school experiences he couldn't stand it for long.
"What?", he snapped, slightly annoyed, and looked down at the smaller boy. "Is there something on my face?"
"You'rr... why?", Blaine slurred, sounding confused.
"Um, because you've been staring at me for the past minute?", Kurt asked slowly, afraid that Blaine was too far gone to understand him anymore. "It was a rhetorical question."
"No- Not that", Blaine said, his eyes still fixed on Kurt. "I mean... why?"
Okay, this was getting really annoying now.
"Why what, Blaine?", Kurt retorted sharply, one eyebrow raised.
"Why arrn't you goin with Puck?", Blaine asked, his eyes more earnest than the pale boy had ever seen them, the hazel boring right into his core. Kurt suddenly had to avert his gaze.
"I, um..." He couldn't concentrate with Blaine's gaze burning into him. "...Because you can barely stand up on your own right now", he answered eventually, carefully. "And whether you like it or not, I'm the only one around to help, so... Here I am." He chuckled slightly in embarrassment, then cleared his throat nervously.
Blaine just kept staring at him like he'd never seen him before and another thought suddenly struck Kurt that made him push the curly haired boy away to arm's length to bring more distance between them. "Look, I'm sorry if it makes you uncomfortable to be around me, but you need help right now and-"
"You chose me", Blaine suddenly interrupted him with wonder in his voice, looking much more sober than just a moment ago. "Over him. Y-you chose... I-" He choked and fell silent, seemingly speechless, and just kept looking at Kurt, his eyes slowly filling with tears.
Oh shit.
Feeling kind of helpless in not knowing what to make of the situation the pale boy rubbed Blaine's shoulder awkwardly, keeping his distance but still trying to comfort him. "Shh... Hey, it's fine. You're fine." When Blaine didn't respond at all he tried to gently steer him towards his room again, still cooing softly. "Come on, we'll get you to bed and-"
He cut himself off when Blaine suddenly let out a loud sob. Kurt barely had a moment to adjust to the turn in events before his arms were full of boy and a face pressed hard into the crook of his neck.
"Fuck, Kurt, I can't- I...", Blaine sobbed into his shoulder, over and over, as he clung to Kurt's middle like his life depended on it. "I, just- oh God, Kurt!"
The pale boy stood there, his mind blank, rendered speechless by Blaine's sudden outburst. What the actual fuck was happening?
"Blaine", the pale boy tried to speak up, his whole body stiff in the curly-haired boy's hold. "Geez, Blaine, calm down! You're choking me."
"Please", Blaine hiccuped and Kurt's heart clenched at the sound of it. "Jus- please... I- I dunno how... I can't... but I want to", he stammered and looked up at Kurt, his eyes bright with tears and looking so lost that the pale boy felt his posture softening and his own arms snaking around Blaine's back to squeeze comfortingly.
"Shh", he cooed quietly, rocking back and forth as the other boy cried into his shoulder. "Shh, it's alright."
"No", Blaine wailed and tightened his hold even further, something Kurt would have thought impossible a second ago. "Nothing's alright! You're just... I'm so stupid and s- so mean to you all the time and then you... you just... You shouldn't! You should just hate me forever and maybe you do and that's my fault but... but you're still helping me and- I just... I can't."
Kurt's head spun with how confusing this whole thing was. "Blaine, calm down." The smaller boy shook his head. "Come on, Blaine. Deep breaths, okay? For me. Please." Blaine trembled slightly, but he still took a deep breath just as Kurt said, letting it out shakily. The pale boy had to suppress a shudder when the warm air brushed his neck. "Thank you. Now, please tell me what's bothering you? Slowly?"
"I... I'm-", Blaine started, but stopped when he suddenly stiffened in Kurt's arms.
"Blaine?", the pale boy asked, alarmed. "What's wrong?"
"I don' feel good", the curly-haired boy mumbled, his forehead starting to sweat where it was pressed against Kurt's neck.
"Oh fuck." The pale boy practically threw Blaine across the hall and into the bathroom where the smaller boy emptied his stomach strepitously once more, tears still streaming down his face as Kurt petted his hair.
When Blaine was done the pale boy gently wiped his face off and assisted him in brushing his teeth to get rid of the foul taste, fetching a bucket to put beside the curly-haired boy's bed in case he got sick again during the night.
"You shouldn't do this", Blaine mumbled, exhaustion written all over his face as Kurt half-carried him over to his room.
"Do what?", the pale boy asked, his tone softer than before.
"Help me."
Kurt scoffed. "Yeah right. As if I'd ever leave someone like this."
"Still", Blaine insisted, his eyelids drooping against his fight to keep them open. "You shouldn't. I don't deserve it."
"You can't even walk on your own right now, Blaine."
"But... but I was so awful to you! How can you not hate me?", the curly-haired boy asked, his eyes wide with honesty.
Kurt hesitated for a moment. This wasn't a conversation he wanted to have when the other boy was drunk off his ass... but then again he probably wouldn't get a chance to say this otherwise. He took a deep breath to steady himself, then answered. "I never hated you, Blaine."
The curly-haired boy silently looked him in the eye for a few minutes before he spoke again, voice heavy with... something. Maybe remorse. "I'm really sorry, Kurt."
There it was. The apology Kurt had been waiting for for so long.
Kurt couldn't decide whether he should laugh or cry at how stupid this whole situation was because a) Blaine would most certainly not remember a thing about this in the morning with the amount of alcohol in his system and b) he probably wouldn't have even thought about apologizing if he were sober right now, so this could barely count as a real apology anyway. Kurt wouldn't have thought that it'd hurt this much, but it did. It really did.
Apparently the only way Blaine can talk to me like decent human being is when he's wasted and in need for comfort. Great. Just great.
Kurt closed his eyes and willed the tears away, praying to some deity he didn't believe in that Blaine would fall asleep soon so he could bury himself into his own pillows and have a proper break-down. Unfortunately the other boy didn't seem to be finished yet for he started rambling again.
"I'm really, really sorry Kurt. I'm sorry for everything I did to you and I regret calling you what I called you, and more than anything I'm sorry for saying that I don't like you because you're so nice to everyone and you're probably really cool to hang out with and we could be friends right now if I weren't so stupid. And then I wouldn't be drunk and you wouldn't have to help me and see me like this because this is so embarrassing and you're way too helpful and good for this world, Kurt." Blaine's speech was sagging more and more towards the end, sleep starting to cloud his mind and making it hard for his eyes to stay open, but he still looked up at the pale boy, determined to finally make this right.
Kurt didn't feel the tears on his cheeks, too focused on what Blaine was saying. This was by no means the apology that he had expected – if he had even expected one at all anymore – and the circumstances were less than acceptable, but he had to admit that he was strangely touched. It was only now that Blaine had apologized that he realized just how much he had ached for this. To see that the other boy regretted his actions to some extent. That he wasn't like his other bullies.
"Thank you, Blaine", he finally said with a scratchy voice. "I mean it. Thank you."
Blaine smiled then, wide and relieved, and even though his face was still slightly pale and sweaty Kurt thought that the curly-haired boy looked breathtakingly beautiful like this, maybe because this was actually the first time that Blaine smiled at him.
But as suddenly as it had come the smile disappeared from the curly-haired boy's face and a sad frown took its place. Kurt found himself almost wanting to kiss it away before he slapped himself internally. Bad Kurt. He's straight. Straight, straight, straight.
"Kurt?", Blaine's whisper caught the pale boy's attention again.
"Yes Blaine?"
"I just..." The smaller boy started nervously fiddling with his shirt, seemingly unable to look Kurt in the eye anymore which was more than weird after all the staring he'd done this evening. "Can you... I mean, do you think you could... maybe, like- like someday... or-"
"Just spit it out, Blaine", Kurt cut in, sounding almost as edgy as the other boy.
Blaine blushed. "Right, uh... Do- do you think you maybe could... someday... like, f-forgive me?"
Kurt blanched. Oh.
"I, um...", he stammered, wringing his hands together, eyes darting around the room to avoid Blaine's face. "I..."
"It's okay", the smaller boy hastily interrupted. "I didn't expect... like, now... but, maybe someday?" He sounded so hopeful that there was really only one way Kurt could answer.
"I... yes", the pale boy said and realized in the second that the words left his mouth that 'someday' wouldn't be necessary. If he wanted to or not, he'd already forgiven Blaine back when he'd heard him sing 'Teenage Dream' in Puck's room. When he looked at Blaine now he didn't feel resentment or even apprehension anymore. Only... that feeling that he still refused to address directly because it would make everything way too real.
Kurt turned towards the smaller boy who was still staring at him expectantly and looked him deep in the eye, silently willing him to remember this the next morning.
"I forgive you, Blaine."
The curly-haired boy closed his eyes, breathing in slowly and seeming so savor the moment before he looked up again, his eyes shining with an emotion Kurt couldn't quite place. "Thank you."
Kurt only nodded in response because under this gaze he felt like he couldn't speak if he tried. Blaine closed his eyes again and tucked his comforter tighter around himself, a contented sigh escaping him as he let his breaths even out. Moments later he was asleep.
When Kurt finally found the strength to detach his eyes from the peaceful look on the other boy's sleeping face he quietly snuck off to his own room. He closed the door soundlessly behind him and immediately sunk to the floor, his back against the wall and face in his hands when the reality of what just happened hit him like a brick on the head.
He knew now that Blaine wanted to apologize. The question was, did the curly-haired boy know it too or was what just happened only his subconscious talking. And if that was the case, was Kurt supposed to make the first step? Or should he wait until Blaine came to his own conclusions?
It was far too late to think about stuff like this now. Kurt picked himself up off the floor and let himself fall heavily onto his bed without even bothering to remove his clothes (and that was saying something), thoughts full of foreboding racing through his head in a turmoil that just Wouldn't. Shut. Up.
What if he doesn't remember anything in the morning?, his brain shouted at him. Did he even mean what he said? How am I supposed to act around him after this?
Kurt groaned and let his head thunk back against the headboard. He was sure that he wouldn't be able to sort all of this out without a friend to talk to and was about to get up and go over to Puck's room when he guiltily remembered that there still was this stupid fight-thing between them, so that was out of the question. Besides Puck would probably not be the best choice for talking about gay romance while he was still struggling with his own orientation problems.
Kurt sighed heavily and turned over onto his side, staring at the naked wall without really seeing it. He had realized two things today. One, Blaine was obviously eating himself up over something or he wouldn't have gotten drunk in the first place (Kurt thought that maybe, just maybe, it was Blaine's guilt about how he'd treated the pale boy that made him do it, but that would be a little too self-complacent) and two, although Blaine was an asshole sometimes, he probably felt a deeper connection to Kurt than he let on. The look that Blaine had given Kurt just before he fell asleep still stood clearly in front of the pale boy's eyes. He just couldn't seem to make sense of it. It had seemed honestly grateful, immensely relieved and – if Kurt hadn't imagined it – maybe even a little tiny bit... affectionate?
Kurt shook his head angrily at his train of thoughts. What the hell was he thinking, acting like a stupid school girl with a crush. He was reading way too much into everything. And what was even worse was that... he didn't want to stop. Oh, who was he kidding, he couldn't deny his attraction to Blaine any more than he could deny his love for fashion.
Kurt sighed as he tucked himself in for what was sure to be a sleepless night, pulling his pillow over his head as soon as he turned the light on his nightstand out.
He was falling for Blaine. And he was falling fast.
So, that happened :) I hope you don't hate me too much for the cliffhanger in the last chapter, but I wanted to spice this story up a bit after what felt like tons of filler chapters. And now, FINALLY, the apology! Not that this is gonna be the end of it just like that, nuh-uh ;) I'm way too evil to just let Blaine off the hook with a drunk "I'm sorry", no matter how honest he was about it. Soo, lots of people asked for Klaine development and now I finally made some progress ;) I hope you're happy with it for now! Please leave a review, they always make my day :) Love you!