Disclaimer: I don't own Glee.
X
Kurt finds himself eating dinner with the Puckermans. The brunet actually eats, maybe because Ruth knows about the big problem. Kurt knows she knows, due to the fact that she keeps staring at him every time he puts food into his mouth. That means Puck told her, but he's not really mad; she's just one more person who can tell his dad he's actually eating, he's getting better and he doesn't need a clinic.
When it's time to go to bed, Kurt realizes he has no pajamas and no sleeping bag like the night before. He had left them near the door of his house and he hadn't bothered to grab them when they ran away.
Puck offers him his clothes but they are so big, Kurt ends up wearing just one of the jock's super-sized football jerseys as a nightshirt.
The jock is standing near the bed when Kurt comes out of the bathroom and Kurt almost chokes. Puck is wearing nothing but his boxers. Kurt is definitely not used to that sight.
"Are you okay?" Puck is worried about Kurt's suddenly blushing face. The smaller boy's eyes are wide open and he looks like he's stopped breathing. He doesn't look okay.
"Yeah, yeah, I 'm perfect," Kurt says, staring at Puck's chest.
Puck has probably noticed that because he's now flexing his pecs.
'Bastard,' Kurt thinks.
"Are you sure?" Puck is chuckling.
Kurt glares at him.
"You know, you shouldn't walk around me like that," Kurt says, walking to the bed.
"Like what?" Puck grabs his pillow and puts it on the floor. "By the way, you are taking the bed, I'll take the floor."
"Half naked," Kurt responds, "and no, it's your room and your bed. I'll sleep on the floor."
Kurt grabs Puck's pillow and puts it on the bed.
"Dude, you are only wearing my shirt... we are both pretty naked," Puck says, re-taking his pillow and putting it again on the floor. Then he goes to the closet to take out a spare blanket.
"Puck, seriously, you sleep in the bed."
"You are sleeping in the bed... Oh, I get it... you wanna do some something-something with the Puckster," he says winking at him.
"You are an idiot," Kurt states, "and I'm not sleeping in your bed... God knows what you did in there."
"If that's what's bothering you, you can't sleep on the floor, either... or on the couch in the living room... or the stairs… or the dinner table_"
"I just ate at that table!" Kurt is freaking out and now he puts more room between the bed and himself.
Puck smirks at him. "Anyway, my Ma always changes my sheets and the last time I jerked off_"
"Oh my god!"
"I did it in the shower so the bed is clean."
"Oh my god... I... I'll take the bed," Kurt says, lying on the bed.
"Cool," Puck responds, chuckling and sitting on the bed, too.
"What are you doing," Kurt asks, looking at him suspiciously.
"You just made me think about the not-so-clean stuff I did on this floor. I'm not sleeping there now," Puck states, lying down beside Kurt.
"Puck," Kurt says after a minute of complete silence. "This is awkward."
"Yeah... whatever. We need to talk," the jock says, rolling onto his side so he can look Kurt in the eyes.
"About what... my dad?" Kurt is a little confused; he's sure they had decided not to talk about it.
"No... about what Finn said... everything he said; it's not true."
Kurt realizes he's crying when Puck comes closer to hug him tight.
"Don't cry, Princess, Finn is an idiot."
"Don't call me 'Princess," Kurt says angrily.
"You love when I call you that," Puck replies, tightening his hold.
Kurt blushes just a little but then he remembers why he doesn't want the jock to call him that anymore.
"Do you realize I'm not a girl?"
"Kurt, I know you are not a girl; if you'd been one we would have fucked already," Puck says, shrugging.
"What?" Kurt pulls away and sits up.
"I said I know you are a guy."
"NO! You said you would be interested in me if I was a girl."
"It's not a bad thing." Puck sits up as well, confused by Kurt's attitude.
"Oh no, it's not a bad thing," the brunet says sarcastically. "You are just one of the many who think I should be a girl."
"I never said that!" Puck is getting defensive now.
"That's what you were implying!" Kurt tries to keep his voice down to not wake up the rest of the house. "Don't you think I know it would be easier for me to be a girl? No one would bother me for wanting to be with another guy. No one would tell me or my dad I'm sick. No one would tell me how disgusting I am!"
"You are not sick and you are not disgusting_"
"Yeah, but you won't have sex with me because I'm not a girl!"
Puck stays silent. He's really confused; sure, Kurt is a guy and he has never been attracted to another dude, but... it's Kurt, he's not like any other dude.
"I don't want to be a girl. I'm a guy and I like being a guy." Kurt is barely whispering now. "You don't know how much I want to be normal, but I can't. I'm Lima's fairy- boy. I can't change that."
"Stop it."
"Stop what?"
"Stop talking like that. Who cares what this fucking cow-town thinks? In a couple of years, you'll be out of here and stop talking like you believe them... like you believe you are sick or disgusting."
"Prove it."
"Prove what?"
"Prove to me I'm not disgusting. Prove to me you are not disgusted by me."
"Dude... what are you talking about?"
"You are just like Finn," Kurt accuses him. "The only difference is that he tells me something is wrong with me; you make me feel wrong!"
"T-that's not true!" Puck can't believe Kurt is comparing him to Finn.
"How did you think I felt when I came out of the bathroom and you were standing there just in your underwear? Did you think I enjoyed the view? I was disgusted by myself, by the things I thought! I felt like a molester! I felt like what Finn always says I am. But you have no problem with that, right? As long as someone is drooling all over you, feeding your ego, you are fine. That's what you do; you use me to feed your fucking ego and to get back at Finn at the same time!"
As soon as Kurt ends his rant, Puck puts his hand on the back of Kurt's neck, pulling him close.
Kurt can't even believe what is happening when Puck starts kissing him.
Puck is kissing a dude. Not just a dude – Kurt. It's just a peck on the lips, like the one they shared the night before for 'Truth or Dare' but at the same time it's totally different.
This time, Tina is not guiding his head towards Kurt. This time they are sober. This time Puck feels explosions and fireworks and his heart beating hard in his ears. This time there is something.
Kurt tries to pull away but Puck keeps him in place with the hand on his neck and lets his other hand slide onto his waist. The jock is enjoying this too much to stop right now.
Kurt gasps when Puck's hand rests on his waist, and the jock takes advantage of it, letting his tongue slide into Kurt's mouth, deepening the kiss.
Puck lies down slowly on his back, taking Kurt down with him, on top of him. Now all he can feel, smell, taste is Kurt and he doesn't even care that Kurt is a guy. It doesn't matter right now; he'll deal with that later.
They keep kissing like that until they both need air; at this point they pull back, Kurt give him one last kiss on the side on his mouth.
"I'm sorry."
That's all Kurt says before grabbing his pillow and going downstairs. He doesn't care about the unhygienic things Puck had done on that couch; sleeping there is much safer than sleeping in Puck's bedroom with him. Kurt is scared to think of what had just happened because he knows that, whatever happened, Puck had enjoyed it as much as him.
That means just one thing: Finn is right.
He is a creepy molester who just turned a perfectly normal straight guy into something like himself.
Kurt stands up from the couch to go in the kitchen to open the drawer from where he'd seen Mrs. Puckerman taking the knives for setting the table.
He needs to be punished.
He needs to suffer for what he has just done to Puck.
Kurt presses the blade on one of the scars on his arm but he stops immediately.
He made the scars on his arm to feel better; now he doesn't need to feel better.
Kurt knows he doesn't deserve to feel better, he deserves to feel worse. He deserves to feel the pain.
So he sits on the kitchen chair and starts pressing the blade on the flesh of his exposed thigh.
When he's done, there's a bloody word cut into his leg – just one, short, painfully true word.
'FAG'
A/N: Ciao! So...new chapter...do you like it?...do you hate it?...do you want to kill me?
I personally hate see Kurt suffer but...after the storm there's always a rainbow...right?
A massive thank you to GayforKurt...my personal angel XD
Let me know if you like this chapter...or if you hate it...or if you have any suggestion. =)
Ciao bella gente!
Franky