A quick update for everybody; forgive any typos if you catch um; I'm not in the mood to care nor check. Regardless, I still rather like this chapter. Archer amuses me. Thanks for reading and reviewing!

Chapter 10

Archer couldn't have felt more proud if he tried.

"With that, I think I'm going to turn in for the rest of the weekend, sir." Archer nodded at Colonel Mustang and started to pull off his dress gloves.

Roy held back the yawn that was hovering behind his mouth and nodded in return. "I agree. That was quite a sprint wasn't it? I'm impressed nothing went wrong."

"They're good soldiers."

"That they are." Mustang looked over when he was called by his Lieutenant. "If you'll excuse me."

"Of course, sir." Archer watched the man walk off and turned to the other officer who was still weeping with joy over the wonderful performance. "See you on Monday, Major."

Archer wasn't sure if he had been heard or not, but walked off towards his lab, regardless. The parade had gone flawlessly and his unit received praise from the Führer himself for their performance. Working with Mustang, Armstrong and the troops from eight in the morning to close to ten at night had been worth it to see them shine. The rifle salute had been a particular crowd pleaser and Archer almost wished he could watch it again. Though, no matter how well it went would not change the fact Archer swore he was never putting together a parade show again. Or at least not without a few weeks notice and another set of officers to help direct and train rookies in proper marching file and rank formations.

However, now that the parade was over, Archer had to swallow his pride and deal with his other problem: Kimblee.

Early Friday morning, Archer had woken up on the floor with a monstrous hangover and the knowledge that he had troops to train within the hour. Archer still wasn't sure how he managed to remember the troops through the splitting headache or register the time of day, but he did. He also heard every bone in his back creak and cry out as he pulled himself up and looked down at his wrinkled uniform. After picking at it and wondering how much time he had to change, a "Morning, sunshine" had rang out behind him. Archer found himself looking at a rather smug looking Crimson alchemist sprawled out on his bed.

Archer now had a bullet shaped hole that went straight through his pillow, mattress and wall.

It had been worth it though to see Kimblee nearly wet himself and to see the first true forced grin whose purpose was to cover cowardice leap onto his face. Archer had the strands of hair that had been blown off in a small jar on his dresser and he finally knew why Hawkeye shot at her Colonel so damn much in the office. It was a wonderful stress reliever. Not to mention he finally had Kimblee's utmost attention and he then made his point very clear: "If I see you before the end of the day on Saturday- I will kill you."

Kimblee had taken the hint and Archer was free to work all Friday in peace to see the parade on Saturday. He hadn't seen hide nor hair of the man anywhere near or around the parade grounds or training fields. But now that the parade had ended, Archer expected Kimblee to pop up any moment now with his usual cocky demeanor. It was probably best just to get it over with and find the man. Then Archer would lay down the ground rules concerning this 'crush.'

Archer double checked that his gun was loaded.

Armstrong listened closely to Hawkeye as she described what she gleaned from the Colonel from his stay at Archer's home on Thursday night and he grimaced. Despite Colonel Mustang's claims of it being his drunken imagination, Armstrong had a pretty good idea just who was over at Archer's house that night. The man must be getting sloppy if he allowed Kimblee and Mustang under the same roof.

That or he was feeling extra confident.

Either way, things were getting likely that Mustang was going to find Kimblee before Armstrong or Archer could point out his existence. The Strong Arm alchemist was now faced with the dilemma of "to tell or not to tell?" that plagued so many other informants.

"You're awfully quiet, Major. Is something wrong?" Mustang looked up from his desk (Hawkeye had made him do all the paperwork he missed on Friday after the parade, the witch.) at the other man who had graciously offered to keep him company on a saturday.

However, Armstrong only had suspicions about whether or not it was Kimblee at the house, so he chose to keep things quiet until Archer made his big move towards Liore. Which was probably coming up soon, despite his hopes towards otherwise. "Of course, not. I'm just a bit tired from the festivities."

Mustang couldn't himself. "But I could have sworn that stamina was a strong trait of the Armstrong family."

The Major laughed. "That it is! Do not let that answer fool you, I'm ready to jump into battle at a moment's notice!"

"Ah, then how about jumping into this paperwork and helping?"

"The Armstrong Family also has a strong tradition of honor! I could never forge your signature."

"I figured as much." Mustang laughed as the other man posed.

Both stopped however when the gunshot rang through the office and Hawkeye peered around the corner of the door. "Less laughing more work."

"Yes, Ma'am."

Tucker still hadn't given Kimblee his watch back. He had meant to, but when Kimblee finally came back to the lab he looked ready to murder the first thing that moved with his own hands. And he had; that poor Chimera didn't stand a chance and Tucker was now short one. He just hoped it wasn't the one Archer had grown fond of in his visits or there was going to be hell to pay. Currently though, said Crimson Alchemist was still sitting at the table like he had been for the past two days. "You two had a fight I take it?"

"He shot at me."

"Did you do something to provoke him?"

"Not really."

"Are you sure?"

There was a slight pause of silence before "I kissed him."

"I see." Tucker hummed. "Are you sure that's all you did?"

"It's none of your business." Kimblee smacked his fists on the table. He was trying to think and that damn chimera-thing kept trying to have a conversation. "Just shut up."

"All right." Tucker shrugged. At least Kimblee wasn't blowing anything up. If the other man wanted to stare at the wall, that was fine.

As the chimera went back to clinking and tinkering with the watches he had been given to improve, Kimblee went back to his steam of thoughts: how to get Archer to like him again. Every idea he came up with tended to end in failure in his head. Though, the best so far was to sit down and talk it out with Archer and let the man know that 'no' was not an option. Because Kimblee had made up his mind: this wasn't a crush anymore.

This was love.

Yes, Kimblee knew it was love the moment Archer shot at him, threatened to kill him in all seriousness and the alchemist realized he was still hopelessly attracted to the man. If that wasn't love, nothing was. Though, Kimblee needed another word to describe these feelings. He had a feeling if he came up to Archer and said "I love you" he'd be shot anyway. His second worry was if Archer absolutely refused to return these feelings. Which was not an option because Kimblee was dead set on killing anything that managed to win over Archer when Kimblee himself could not.

In other words, he needed a plan to make Archer realize that Kimblee was the one for him and then they could have some real fun. Like going on dates. Fun dates that involved killing hookers and snuggling afterwards while drinking a warm glass of brandy on Archer's couch next to a fire. Kimblee frowned and gripped his fists. No fire. Fire was instantly associated with that man.

Who Kimblee still needed to kill.

But anyway, his thoughts were straying from the true objective. A date with Archer was what they needed. And it should be easy, if you thought about it – all those times they hung out as 'friends' eating, drinking and sleeping were just dates under a different name. The only thing that was changing from those good times was Kimblee was expecting to get laid at the end of the day.

Kimblee sulked and put his head in his arms on the work table. The getting laid part was his biggest obstacle. He may have acted cocky, but the disgust that covered Archer's face after the kiss, even if he was drunk, was still fresh in Kimblee's mind. He hadn't been that bad; not if the kiss had felt so damn good on his end, anyway. Surely Archer felt something to?

"Good god, for someone obsessed with me you'd think he'd answer when I call him."

"He has been out of it for the past two days." Tucker shrugged and looked at his superior. Archer had walked into the room about five minutes ago and called out to Kimblee, but the man continued to stare out into space.

Archer took a seat in his usual chair and looked down at the chimera cage. "Why are there only four?"

"Take a guess."

Archer took in a shaky breath through his teeth and pinched his nose. He would not get angry. Archer was calm, cool and collected. The parade had gone well. He was in a good mood. Archer would not get angry. "When will it be replaced?"

"By sometime next week."

"Very good, Tucker." Archer lowered his voice on the off chance Kimblee actually waslistening and just pretending. "At least one of you is reliable."

Tucker chuckled. "Why thank-you sir."

"But, enough is enough." Archer walked over to Kimblee and snapped his heels together when he stopped. He took in a deep breath and with the same force he used on the rookie troops, shouted out "Attention!"

Kimblee fell out of his chair.

When those golden eyes were looking up at him from the floor, Archer smirked. "About damn time."

The Crimson Alchemist asked himself what it was he liked about this man again. He looked at Archer's amused face and sparkling blue eyes that reveled in his discomfort and remembered: Archer was equally as much a sadist as Kimblee. "You could have just said 'hello.'"

"I did." Archer shrugged and went back to his chair. "You ignored me for the wall."

"Oh."

'Oh,' indeed. Archer crossed his legs as Kimblee started to pull himself up from the floor. The Lieutenant Colonel made sure that Tucker was still sitting close by to act as referee should things get out of hand, so Archer cleared his throat. "I think it's time we had a chat."