Spoilers: Up to 'Power of Madonna' though other back 9 stuff may appear if I think it's applicable.
Disclaimer: I own nothing but the plot. Also, some of this is from Puck's viewpoint, and he's kind of an offensive guy, so I'd like to point out that his viewpoints don't always reflect mine.
A/N: To those who reviewed my last chapter, thank you for the warm welcome back. I didn't get as many reviews on the last chapter as I usually do, so I just wanted to make sure that you all know how very much your words of encouragement mean to me. Please let me know what you think about this chapter! I love to hear what you think!
Tuesday, November 27, 2012
"Baby day, Baby day!"
Rachel groaned and automatically pulled her pillow over her head as Brittany's voice assaulted her ears. It was way too early for this, as it often was when Brittany decided to invade her room. She wasn't surprised when there was a tug on her pillow. Rachel struggled to keep a hold of it, but Brittany had the advantage of leverage and yanked it away from her. Suddenly blinded by the sun pouring through the window, Rachel blinked several times before completely opening her eyes and staring up at Brittany's grinning face hovering above her.
"Was this really necessary?" Rachel asked, slightly peeved at the rude awakening.
Brittany nodded enthusiastically. "It really was. It's nine. You have to be at work in an hour."
Panicking, Rachel threw the covers back and climbed out of bed. Ignoring the slight chill of the apartment, she rushed into the bathroom. A record short shower later, she was entering the kitchen to the smell of pancakes.
"Pancakes, Brittany?" she questioned, already feeling the nausea building up. Her morning sickness may be gone, but she still hadn't gotten over her aversion to syrup.
"Yeah, you can have peanut butter on yours and I'll wait until you leave to get the syrup out for mine," Brittany reassured her, gesturing to the table where the jar of peanut butter was already sitting with no syrup in sight.
Slightly happier at that, Rachel poured a glass of milk and took the plate of pancakes that Brittany held out to her. While she spread peanut butter on them, she listened to Brittany chatter.
"It's so exciting. You get your ultrasound today! You'll finally know that I'm right and the baby really is a Tiger Lily," she announced a short time later.
Rachel nearly choked on her bite of pancake. Struggling, she finally swallowed.
"Tiger Lily?"
Brittany grinned at her. "It's your favorite flower and I think it would be really cute for a baby name. Plus, it's got a built in boy name-we can just drop the Lily part if it's a boy." She paused. "Not that it will be of course," she finished conversationally.
One side of Rachel's mouth quirked up. "Tiger? I'm sure Noah would just love that."
Brittany's face scrunched up at the mention of Noah. "Is he still coming today?"
Rachel nodded. "As far as I know. He's not told me any differently."
Brittany groaned loudly and plopped down into her seat. She immediately popped back up and rushed over to the counter. When she sat back down it was to hold Rachel's vitamin out to her.
After downing the vitamin, Rachel finished her breakfast while Brittany sulked. Rachel knew that she would have to talk to Brittany about her attitude towards Puck eventually, but now wasn't the best time for it. She needed to get to work and she knew the conversation about Noah was probably going to take longer than she could spare at the moment. Plus, she really dreaded having to tell Brittany that she needed to start being nicer to Noah.
Several minutes later, Brittany got up so that she could take a shower. They had both pulled midday shifts that would be split up by the doctor appointment. Rachel noticed that she needed to leave, so she called her goodbye back to Brittany. Brittany either didn't hear her or was ignoring her, which wouldn't surprise Rachel given her unhappiness over the Noah situation.
As Rachel pulled the door shut, she sighed. How could she expect Britt to be friends with Noah when she wasn't completely sure she wanted to be friends with him herself?
ooooo
"Hey, do you want to work on our soc project tonight? It's due on Friday you know and we haven't even started it yet."
Puck glanced up at the sound of Aiden's voice. While Aiden was getting ready to head to his first class of the day, Puck had gotten up early to finish the homework that he had left over the break. He actually had meant to finish it all, but he'd gotten a little distracted by more important things. Plus, he really fucking hated algebra.
Scowling down at the system of equations he was trying to solve (damn substitution), he responded, "Can't. I'm heading to Lima this afternoon."
"You just got back two days ago. If you're so worried about...Rachel, right?" Aiden asked, verifying her name. When Puck nodded, he continued, "If you're so worried about her, why don't you just call her again?"
"I'm going to her doctor appointment," Puck explained, erasing his work when the equations didn't check yet again. "Damn it," he muttered before his voice went back to normal, "Today's her sonogram. We're going to find out if the baby's a boy or a girl."
"I can see why you'd want to go then," Aiden agreed, stuffing his calculus book into his bag. "So, do you want a girl or a boy?"
Puck hesitated for a moment and considered the question. He hadn't really given it any thought. He'd been so busy getting used to the idea of the baby and figuring out how to earn Berry's trust that he hadn't thought about simple questions like that one. Did he want a boy? Or a girl? He knew that he'd be happy with either as long as the baby was healthy but if he could be completely honest...
"A boy," Puck stated decisively. "If it's a girl, I'll go crazy trying to protect her from boys like us."
Aiden snickered. "I could see that. Well, for the baby's sake I hope it's a boy." With that, Aiden left the room.
Puck turned back to his fucking math (shit, how much longer would he have to work on this?), and silently acknowledged that he had another reason for wanting a boy over a girl. Rachel had filled him on the names that Brittany had chosen for the baby in the past over the phone last night, and if the baby was a boy, there would be no more of that.
At least he really hoped that Brittany wouldn't name his son Daffodil.
ooooo
"I don't like it."
Rachel rolled her eyes; Noah was behaving like a child. From the moment that they had stepped into the health department's waiting room, he had been complaining. Rachel didn't know how much more she could take of his immaturity. On top of that, Brittany was clearly fed up with him and obviously restraining herself from picking a fight. So far it was working, but Rachel feared that Britt's self-control would reach its limits quite soon and then her and Puck would start arguing and that always stressed Rachel out and she was already stressed enough just anticipating the moment when the tentative peace between them would snap and the fighting would begin.
See, she was so stressed that she was thinking in run-on sentences!
"There's no choice, Noah. This is the only place in town that I can afford. What would you expect me to do? I can't exactly just not come to my prenatal appointments," she explained as patiently as she could.
He frowned at her. "I still don't like it. If you were at a private office, there probably wouldn't be sick people there." A sneeze sounded from one of the other patients. "See!" Noah exclaimed. "Sick people! What happens if they give you something?"
Brittany, who had been ignoring Noah since they arrived (minus the dirty looks she kept throwing his way), whipped her head around to look at Rachel. The expression on her face showed that as much as it disturbed her to agree with him, she clearly thought that Noah had a valid point.
Rachel made a face at both of them. "Then I suppose I'll be miserable for awhile; it can't be helped."
They sat there quietly for a few moments, the silence only broken by Puck's grumbling under his breath, until the woman sitting across from Rachel went into a rather mucusy (that was a word, right?) sounding coughing fit. Noah popped up out of his seat as if he had been scalded and grabbed Rachel's wrist, dragging her from her seat. He pulled her down the row and pushed her into one of the seats farthest from the coughing woman. Brittany trailed along behind them.
Letting out an annoyed huff, Rachel glared at Noah as he took the chair to one side of her. "This is useless, you know that right? Most germs that lead to common colds and flu are airborne. Moving across the room won't keep me from getting sick."
"At least this way the germs will take longer to get to you," he claimed.
Brittany let out an incredulous snort but otherwise stayed silent. Luckily Noah chose to ignore that.
A tense silence fell between them again. The quiet made Rachel's skin feel itchy. This was perhaps the most awkward situation that she had ever been in. She wasn't sure how she was supposed to behave when she was at a prenatal appointment with her baby's daddy and her current suitor's sister who was angry at the daddy because of his behavior when Rachel first found out that she was pregnant. Rachel was finally coming to terms with Noah's behavior, especially since he had called yesterday to check on her and the baby despite having just seen them the day before. So she couldn't understand why Brittany couldn't start to put it behind her too.
Puck let out a disgruntled noise. "This is so fucking stupid."
"What are you complaining about now?" Brittany asked, glaring at him.
"This." He gestured at the three of them. "We used to be friends; why in the hell are things so weird now?"
As Rachel watched Brittany's face contort with anger, she cowered back into her seat. It looked like the blonde's patience had finally broken. She actually felt bad for Noah in that moment since he would be on the receiving end of her temper, which could be quite impressive when pressed enough (not that that ever really happened).
"You knocked up my best friend and then ditched her," Brittany hissed at him, mindful of the fact that they were in public. "You have no right to just come waltzing back into our lives and expect everything to just go back to normal."
Puck frowned at her. "I don't expect that. I know I screwed up but I'm trying, so you should give me a little credit."
Rachel was somewhat surprised that Noah, who was known for his temper, was keeping his cool while the normally unflappable, cheerful blonde lost it. Her ears had turned red and her fists were clenched as she spoke through gritted teeth.
"We'd all be better off if you just went back to Columbus and stayed there."
Puck's mouth dropped open and Rachel felt shock race through her system. Quickly standing up, Rachel repeated Puck's earlier actions and grabbed Brittany's wrist.
"We'll be right back!" she called over her shoulder to Noah as she hauled the blonde outside.
Once they stepped out into the cool air, Rachel moved them away from the doors and crossed her arms over her chest in an attempt to stay warm. She turned to face her friend. She dreaded what she had to say.
"Britt, I appreciate your protectiveness and everything you've done, but this can't keep happening," she started. "Puck is the baby's dad and he really has been trying, even I can see that. You need to try to get along with him for both my sake and, more importantly, for Tiger Lily's."
Brittany scowled at her, crossing her own arms, though more in an act of defiance than one of warmth.
"He's an ass. He completely ignored you when you needed him most and now he just gets to waltz in without any work and be a major part of Tiger Lily's life? It's not fair. Why does he get everything?" she questioned petulantly.
Blinding realization struck Rachel like a baseball bat to the back of the head. Why hadn't she seen the problem before?
"Brittany," she began cautiously, "you do realize that no matter what happens you'll always be the baby's aunt, right? No one will ever replace you in our lives."
These words cut through Brittany's anger as her eyes filled with tears.
"But since Puck's the dad and he's actually here doing what he's supposed to, what do you need me for?" she asked quietly.
Her heart aching at the insecurity that her best friend had obviously been feeling since Rachel had agreed to let Noah be a part of the baby's life, Rachel felt like a horrible friend. How had she missed the signs of the true reason behind Brittany's animosity toward Noah? Sure, part of it was probably his past mistakes, but now it seemed like it was mostly Brittany feeling unneeded and unwanted that caused her anger. Rachel acted instinctively and pulled the taller blonde into a tight hug, stroking her hair despite the height difference.
"I need you to be my best friend," she murmured soothingly as Brittany bent down and cried into her shoulder. "If I don't have you, who'll make sure that I eat right? How will I remember to take my vitamin every morning? Who will help Tiger Lily name her stuffed animals when she's older? Or babysit her when I feel like I'm going to lose my mind because she won't stop crying? Who will come up with crazy names for her? She'll need her aunt. And I need you too."
Brittany's breath hitched as she clung to Rachel for several more moments. Once her crying had slowed, Rachel tried to inject some humor into the situation.
"Besides, who else am I going to complain to when Noah annoys the crap out of me? Because you know that's gonna happen more often than not," she added.
Brittany let out a surprised chuckle and pulled away from Rachel, wiping her eyes.
"You're right. Even when he's being a decent guy he's still an ass," she agreed, smiling slightly. "I'm sorry I've made everything so hard on you."
"No, Britt, I'm sorry that I didn't notice what you were going through earlier." Rachel rubbed her arms vigorously through her sweatshirt for warmth. "Can we go in now? It's freezing out here."
Nodding, Brittany slipped her arm through Rachel's and they reentered the warm building. Once inside, they made their way back over to where Puck was sitting, half-turned in his seat with his eyes glued to the doors. When the girls retook their seats to one side of him, he glanced over curiously.
"Better now?"
Rachel and Brittany both nodded.
"I'm sorry about what I said. I'm still not really happy that you're here," Brittany admitted honestly, "but I'm sure I'll come around with some time. Until then, I'll try to be nice."
Puck leaned around Rachel to look at Brittany. "I made some mistakes, but I'm trying to be better. I promise that I won't purposely hurt the baby. Or Berry," he added, almost like an afterthought making Rachel glare indignantly at him. "Speaking of which, where's your coat Berry?"
She blushed. They still hadn't told him about the car fire; in fact, Rachel was hoping that she could get rid of the car before he ever found out about it. She hadn't replaced her coat either since it burnt up; she couldn't really afford to. That's why she had put off buying a properly fitting coat to begin with.
"I left it at the diner since I only expected to run between the car and the buildings," she stated (lied).
"Brilliant Berry. You drag us to this germ pit," he said this with a frown in the direction of a nearby child wiping his runny nose on his sleeve, "and you forget your coat. Are you trying to get sick?"
"Of course, Noah. Don't you know that I want to get sick when I can only take a very limited selection of medicine? Doesn't that just sound wonderful?" she inquired sarcastically while Brittany snickered.
He held up his hands in the universal sign of surrender. "Geez, sorry Berry. I was just wondering."
"Yeah, well wonder a little quieter next time," she muttered under her breath making Brittany laugh harder.
"What?" Noah asked, eyes narrowed.
Rachel smiled sweetly at him. "Nothing."
"Rachel Berry," a nurse called out from the nearby hallway.
All three of them stood up, Noah still watching her suspiciously, and followed the nurse to one of the exam rooms. After the nurse had taken care of the preliminaries of the appointment (weight, blood pressure, etc.) and collected a urine sample (Rachel of course headed to the restroom for that part), she left the three of them alone to wait for Dr. Greenman.
While Rachel had settled herself on the exam table, extremely thrilled to not have to wear a gown since this would be a simple appointment, and Brittany had dropped into one of the chairs, Noah wandered around the room. Rachel watched, fascinated at the restless way he moved. He was studying all of the posters, mostly focused around women and pregnancy, with an expression of slight distaste on his face. Rachel had to fight not to giggle at the way he looked; she could only imagine how thrilled he was to see what women look like on the inside; it wasn't pretty. She briefly wondered if he had gone to any of Quinn's appointments. She knew he was with her when the baby was born, but she somehow couldn't see the Puck of her sophomore year suffering through prenatal visits. Nor could she see Quinn necessarily wanting him there, even when they were dating. While he paced around, Britt started talking, drawing Rachel's gaze to her.
"So, are you going to call Kevin and tell him what the baby is?" she asked curiously.
Rachel darted her eyes back to Puck in time to see an irritated expression cross his face at the mention of Kevin. She remembered that he hadn't seemed happy that she was going on a date with him.
Meeting Brittany's eyes again, she said, "I'm calling Heather of course; I promised I would. I'm not sure whether or not I should call Kevin though. I'm not sure what the protocol is for including him in the pregnancy given that the baby isn't his."
"Damn right the baby isn't his," Puck mumbled just loud enough to carry to the two girls who exchanged an amused look but otherwise ignored him.
"Well," Brittany stated in a contemplative voice. "You should probably go ahead and call him. I know that he's been worried about you ever since I mentioned that your car caught on fire and..." Brittany cut herself off with a gasp.
As Rachel dropped her head into her hands and prayed Noah hadn't heard what Brittany just said, she knew that it was futile.
ooooo
The silence in the room was so complete that Puck could hear the ticking of Berry's watch. He was trying to figure out if he had just heard what he thought he heard. He could have sworn that Brittany had just mentioned Berry's car had caught on fire, but that couldn't be right. Berry had promised him that she would park the car because it was unsafe. So Brittany's words didn't make any fucking sense. He looked at the blonde and saw that she looked horrified, so, a sinking feeling in his stomach, he turned to Berry. When he saw that she had covered her face, he knew that he hadn't misheard. He tried to leash the fury that he could feel rising in him.
"You took the car out?" he asked in a tightly controlled voice. "What in the hell were you thinking?"
Puck was pretty proud of himself; he hadn't yelled (and he really fucking wanted to). Berry's face was still in her hands, so her response was so muffled that he had to step closer to hear her, missing the first few words.
"...my date. I had to drive myself, just in case."
Brow furrowing, Puck tried to guess at what Berry had said that he had missed. He realized that Berry must have said that she drove her deathtrap to her date Sunday night. Then he realized that she had raised her head and was staring at him, cheeks pink with embarrassment.
"There was a loophole, you know? I never told you that I would park the car that day. And I really did plan to stop driving it after the date!" she defended herself eagerly, voice rising. "It was just extraordinarily awful luck that the car caught on fire the very last time that I planned to drive it!"
Puck had been a badass long enough for a part of him to be impressed with Berry's exploitation of a loophole. It was damn smart of her. However, the larger and much louder part of his brain was screaming at him that she had broken her promise to him to go out with another guy. He didn't know why that last portion made it so much worse; he just knew that if the car had caught on fire while she was driving to the store he'd be less pissed. Still pissed of course, but less so. But the thought that she could have died because she just had to see the other guy...
"That was a dumbass move Berry," he pointed out in restrained voice. Puck was still putting in the effort to control his temper. He didn't want to run her off by yelling at her now that she was finally letting him into her life. "You put yourself and our baby in danger just so you could see some douche." He ignored Brittany's cry of 'Hey!'. "From now on, if you make a promise to me I expect you to keep it. I won't watch you fucking get hurt just because you don't want to listen to me."
"Then you should close the loopholes in the promises you extract from me from now on!" Berry burst out as if she just couldn't help herself. She looked horrified afterward and clapped her hands over her mouth, cheeks reddening even further.
Again Puck felt two different emotions. Part of him thought it was really funny that she was standing up to him even though she was clearly fucking wrong this time (for once!). He was also pissed that she wasn't just agreeing with him.
That must have been what showed on his face because she unclasped her hands and rushed to add, "But I'll keep my promises from now on. Anyway," she continued in a calmer, much more normal voice, "if Kevin asks me out again, I feel comfortable enough to let him just pick me up."
Ignoring the uncomfortable and really weird rush of anger he felt at those words (because what the hell?), Puck wondered if he could make Berry promise not to see the other dude. If he could just get her to fucking promise...well, he wasn't above using her guilt about breaking her last promise against her. But he didn't get a chance to come up with a plan of attack because the doctor entered the room (which was probably a good thing because he was really fucking confused about his feelings right now).
"Hi Mommy!" she called out cheerfully, shutting the door behind her. "How are you feeling today?"
"Quite good, actually," Berry responded, shifting slightly on the exam table, the paper crinkling loudly.
The doctor faced the three of them. "Hi Brittany. What's the baby name for this week?"
Puck watched Brittany smile brightly at the doctor. "It's Tiger Lily! Cute, huh?"
Puck fought not to gape at the blonde. Tiger Lily? She couldn't be fucking serious.
The doctor grinned at her, humor clear on her face. "It's definitely unique."
Puck wondered how many appointments Brittany had come to that took this exact form. Probably a lot given how well the doctor seemed to know her. The thought caused another pang of guilt that he had missed so much; he doubted that feeling would ever go away.
The older woman turned curious eyes on him. "And who are you?"
Pushing aside yet another stab of shame (because Berry's doctor should have already fucking known who he is instead of Brittany), he answered awkwardly. "Noah Puckerman. I'm the baby's dad."
A flash of surprise crossed her face but she held out her hand to shake his, her smile never wavering. "It's nice to meet you Noah. I'm Dr. Greenman. I'll be taking care of Rachel's pregnancy through the baby's birth."
He shook her hand, wondering how much she knew about his situation with Berry. If she knew everything, she wasn't letting it affect her behavior because she moved to Berry's side to continue the appointment as if nothing was different from her previous visits (even though he knew his presence was a huge fucking change).
Puck watched the doctor's actions. This appointment was so fucking different from any doctor appointment he'd ever been to. Sure, he'd had a kid once before, but Quinn never let him go to the doctor with her. She said that she was uncomfortable having him there. So, toward the end of her pregnancy, once she had finally let him in, she had made him wait in the waiting room for her. He was there for the birth, but given the way she screamed at him, he thought she hadn't actually wanted him there for that either. He pulled himself from his thoughts and watched in fascination as Dr. Greenman measured Berry's bare stomach and then winced when she started pressing down in several places on her baby bump. He had to remind himself that she wasn't squishing his baby; she was a doctor, so she wouldn't do anything to hurt her. Didn't stop him from breathing a sigh of relief when she finally stopped though. The whole time the three women chatted pleasantly, basically ignoring his presence entirely.
Finally, Dr. Greenman left the room and returned a short time later with a piece of equipment with a monitor attached. She pushed it in front of the exam table where Berry had sat up to wait. Puck listened carefully while the doctor explained the sonogram process. When Berry nodded knowingly, he was reminded that this wasn't going to be the first time she would see their baby. Again, an inner voice reminded him that if he hadn't been a huge fucking asshole he would have seen the baby before too. He ruthlessly shoved that voice aside and moved behind where Berry was laying back while the doctor squirted some gel on her stomach. He needed to be able to see and since Brittany was at Berry's side (he had a strong desire to push her out of the way and take her spot), he had to settle for standing behind them.
The doctor lowered a wand to the gel and spread it around, keeping her eyes on the screen which had filled with a black and white static. After just a few seconds, she found what she was looking for because the static broke and Puck found himself staring at a black and white image of a baby. He could also hear a weird sound that sounded almost like liquid but under that, he could hear what was unmistakably a heartbeat.
Dr. Greenman looked past Berry to smile at him. "There's your baby." Her smile grew when she saw that none of the three of them were paying any attention to her because their eyes were all glued to the screen.
Puck felt staggered. The only other time that he had ever felt anything like this was the first time he held his first daughter. That was more sad than anything else though because he knew that he had to give her away. Staring at this baby, he was stunned because he would get to keep this one. He couldn't wrap his mind around it; it was just so fucking real now. He couldn't tear his eyes away from the image.
"Can you tell what it is?"
Berry's voice, thicker than usual, got his attention. Looking down at her, he saw that she had Brittany's hand in hers and her eyes were gleaming with tears.
The doctor adjusted the wand and the image on the screen changed. She studied the image for a moment and then smiled.
"Do you see right here?" she asked, redirecting Puck's attention back to his baby. "These three lines are labia. You're having a little girl."
Puck felt the news like a blow to the gut; the air had been knocked out of him. He was going to have a little girl. A little girl that he'd have to protect. He watched as Dr. Greenman adjusted the image back to a full view of the baby's profile. Holy shit, the tiny girl on the screen was going to depend on him for protection and happiness. He could feel the panic setting in. How in the hell was he ever going to be good enough for her?
He jumped slightly, startled, when a small warm hand enclosed his. Looking down, he found Berry staring up at him, tears running silently down her cheeks. She beamed, her happiness practically glowing off of her.
"We're going to have a daughter," she whispered in a choked voice.
And just like that, the panic faded. He knew it would come back later, but looking down at Berry he was reminded that he wasn't in this alone. The two of them were going to be parents together and in that second he knew that they could handle anything that happened. Twining his fingers with hers, he squeezed her hand gently before turning his eyes back to the screen-their baby; their daughter. He was oddly happy to feel her return the squeeze.
Neither noticed the speculative way Brittany was watching them, but both heard her announce smugly, "I told you it was a girl!"
Startled laughter broke through the exam room and on the screen, Puck watched his daughter insert a thumb into her mouth. He could swear that she was waving her free fingers at him.
He had fallen in love.