Chapter 9 – Heartlessness
Hey everyone! I hope you all enjoy this chapter of Fire and Ashe! Please, please please please pleaseeee review if you have feedback, comments, critiques, or ideas! You can also PM me anytime, I don't bite! Please favorite if you like what you're reading and follow to keep updated! I wanna thank you Onyx Thanatos Theodore Lerins for always giving me great feedback! I always enjoy reading your reviews! :)
Previously...
"Good night, Eric." I smiled. I was happy, and yet I couldn't directly pinpoint the reason. Instead of trying to hyper-analyze it, I laid down gently on the couch, which was harder than I expected, and pushed my head against the pillow. All I knew was that it was definitely better than the dorms where Archer would no doubt be waiting.
Groggily, I woke up, moaning as my back arched into a long, catlike stretch. I hadn't slept so good in so long, and the feeling of the pillow under my head was the greatest feeling I had had in almost a week of my being here. Then slowly, my mind started to pull itself into reality, and the reality was that the couch was far too comfortable than it had been last night, and there hadn't been any pillows. That and an arm was draped over my side. An arm that was definitely not my own, and had dark, winding tattoos. I practically screamed.
What surprised me even more was that I didn't scream. Instead I opened my eyes to find that Eric was sleeping soundly next to me, neck craned at a strange angle up towards the headboard. His fingers were splayed on my back like a hot branding iron, and his grip on me was so strong I could've sworn he was awake. My eyes darted around the room, which was surprisingly homey. Bookshelves lined the far wall, there was a television hanging from the wall with a couch near the window. Gently I turned around and found a desk and chair in the corner, which had scribbles and notes all over the wall near it. I couldn't make anything out, but it wasn't what occupied my attention. Slowly I turned my upper half back towards Eric, who still hadn't acquired any more clothing, and it made me slightly embarressed. I could feel a blush rising in my cheeks and I was glad he wasn't awake to see it, otherwise I'd probably never live it down.
I began to relax, knowing there was no escape anytime soon with his arm around me so tightly. My eyes travelled over his chest and his arms, which were finely built. I knew he was strong, but he wasn't overly defined to the point where he was no longer handsome, and the fact that I was even calling him handsome made me question what the hell I was thinking. Silently I touched on the thoughts that had been swirling through my head, which was that he was handsome, and I wondered if his lips were as soft as they looked. He was genuinely relaxed, and it was quite the sight. Even though he seemed like he looked younger, I couldn't say he did. Even asleep, he exuded nothing but built in power and strength. He was meant for what he did and who he was now. Eric definitely wasn't Erudite, and neither was I. At least, not anymore. My eyes fell to the small tattoo that was planted right on his heart, and in a moment of bravery, I traced it with my fingertips. His skin was soft and smooth, and I was surprised. Immediately I had the instinct to snuggle closer to the warmth his body but I ignored it. I knew it wasn't a good idea. No matter how relaxed he seemed, if he woke up to me against his body, I was almost sure that wouldn't end well.
The small tattoo looked like a misshapen thunderbolt, more like a deformed black mark against the smoothness of his skin.
"It's supposed to be a scar." Eric's drowsy answer made me jump away and snap my hand back, my other hand clutching itself tightly to my chest. Eric's mouth pulled into a smug smile before he pushed both of his arms above his head, his muscles contracting with reined control. Even his stretches were made from power and dominancy. Thick muscles pulled taut, he was almost like a god to me, and it only made him that much attractive to me. Hesitantly my eyes met his and his pupils were so wide I barely saw the bluish grey depths that normally were so cold. Instead he just looked sluggish and tired. His arm tightened around my middle and he pulled me closer, bringing me in tightly to his chest. I gasped as my palms splayed against his abdomen, my eyes frantically darting at anything other than his own. I tried in vain to pull away but it was no use.
"Are you afraid of me?" He whispered, and there was definitely dark intent within his question. Slowly I swallowed back my fear and looked into his eyes, which were watching mine with such awareness that it caught me off guard.
"No." I murmured, trying to hold his gaze. His chest rumbled with a short laugh and he sighed, almost sad at the fact that I wasn't.
"You should be." I knew that if I didn't change the topic of conversation, I would be caught in a bad position, if I wasn't already. My body was pressed closely against his, the already short length of my dress which I was still wearing pushed up my thighs in a practically indecent manner. Eric's hand fell insidiously lower, his fingertips grazing my hips. I refrained from shuddering at his touch, his contact making my body heat up.
"Why would you have a tattoo that looks like a scar right above your heart?" His eyes were closed but I could see the acute emotions that passed over his face, one of them looking so similar to pain that it made my heart ache in my chest.
"It's the scar where I lost my heart." In another surge of confidence, my fingers touched the small mark and he inhaled sharply.
"I still think you have it." He simply shook his head.
"I don't." His eyes opened and I could tell his visage was back. Eric either didn't want to talk about it or he'd rather just shut me out before I made any headway and it frustrated the hell outta me. I didn't say a word, but I sighed my exasperation, closing my eyes.
"Why am I in your bed?" I asked almost sleepily, my voice much more sultry than I intended. Eric eyed me warily, seemingly set on edge because of my question. The wheels practically turned in his head with a transparency I found surprising. Eric could be described as many things, but not one connected with transparency.
"You were cold and uncomfortable on the couch." He stopped as if there was no more to explain, so I just stared up at him, waiting for more of an explanation.
"What?" His rough voice snapped at me, and although in normal circumstances I would've been taken aback, these circumstances weren't quite normal. I was practically snuggled against Eric's chest. In his bed. In the early morning. If anything I felt like the odds of something like this ever happening to me, especially with someone like Eric, were extremely unlikely. I smirked and turned away, pulling my short dress over my thighs as much as I could for the somewhat stretchy material, and looked at him as his body slowly pieced together his surroundings.
"So much for heartless, Eric." His features pulled into a frown. As he was preparing to say something I cut him off.
"Look, I'm really hungry and I look like I just had a really long night. I don't know how I'm going to get back to the dorms without playing twenty questions and I don't want to fight with you, Eric." I paused, realizing how much I had just said. Slowly my fingers moved to my mouth and I backed away in fear. I had just snapped at one of the leaders of Dauntless, who could no doubt kick me out, and I had the strong inkling that I wouldn't have to worry about the dorms. I had to worry about leaving here alive without letting my smart mouth get the better of me.
Without saying a word Eric jumped out of bed, his back marred with little white scars. I was about to move closer to have a better look, but I stopped. It was probably a bad idea to set him on edge like that and I was already taking my chances. Slowly I thought over everything that had happened, with Eric allowing me to not only escape to his private quarters for my own sanctuary, but also let me sleep in his bed so that I was more comfortable.
I had to admit, the pillows in the apartment rooms were pretty damn amazing.
"Has anyone told you it's impolite to stare?" Eric smiled smugly, apparently aware of my scrutiny of him behind his back. He turned around to face me before he threw an oversized grey sweater at me.
"What's this?" I asked skeptically, turning the soft fabric over in my hands. It was obviously his, but it was already warm in the facility, the weather outside only turning slowly from autumn to winter, and it made no sense for him to give it to me. He crossed his arms and the amusement dripping from his posture made me feel overly stupid. He wanted me to wear it, to cover my dress.
"Oh." I mused silently. Grey eyes watched me, waiting for me to put it on.
"You want me to put this on in front of you?" I asked incredulously. I only heard a chuckle as he walked out of the room, closing the door behind him. I looked around. Everything felt oddly cold, mostly because of the way Dauntless rooms looked. Dark grey and black walls, metal desks, hard and sharp contours and outlines. Everything seemed so hard and yet it didn't feel like that. It almost screamed closeness, the want for warmth and heat. My feet took me a few steps away from the bed towards the bookshelf and found rows of books about what our past was like, fiction. I touched one of the spirals, the soft leather greeting my fingertips. Quickly I shuffled the long sweater over my frame which smelled faintly of soft, buttery soap and the musky scent of a wooded forest. It reminded distinctly like Eric and strangely it eased me. I took the book in my hand and took brave steps towards the door.
The smell of sweet bread wafted to my nose and I walked outside of the bedroom, finding Eric flipping a pancake in an iron pan he held closely in his hand, his grey eyes concentrated wholly on making sure the little pancake made it fully to its other side.
"Are those pancakes?" I could hear the excited notes in my own voice, and I couldn't help but glide over to Eric's side.
"There a reason why you're staring at me like that?" He asks nonchalantly, his eyes scanning over the different things on the counter. Eric had freaking eyes in the back of his head like a really strange, muscular, handsome mother. I could slap myself for even thinking that.
"I just never thought I'd see you making pancakes like this. It's oddly...Charming." I bit my bottom lip and watched him carefully from the doorway to his bedroom.
"Don't get comfortable with it."
"I'm starting to disbelieve your threats, Eric."
A throaty laugh is all I hear before he responds, taking his sweet, merciless time. "That'll be your downfall." He stopped before peeking at me through his eyelashes. "For an Erudite you're awfully mouthy."
I smiled cheekily at him.
"I'm learning from the best." He chuckled and warmth spread through my body at the sound. It's sweet and carefree, and it made me oddly relaxed. I stepped closer to him, stopping at the counter, watching him meticulously cook.
"I haven't seen pancakes in..." I paused as I realized that my memories have taken me back to Erudite, where pancakes and other delicious products without meat and large protein levels are distributed. Eric's eyes shifted to the corner of his gaze, so that he could glance at me.
"I'm sorry." My fingers wrung themselves tightly within each other, and I silently stood still, staring at my toes.
"None of us can expect you to forget it that quick." He paused to take in my reaction, which is none other than surprise. Not only can he cook but he can be understanding. The only question running through my thoughts is why now? What happened within the past twenty four hours to make Eric talk to me like this? To open himself up?
"You see, my other tough guy faction trainer, Eric, he doesn't think I should talk about my old faction." A smirk caught on the corner of Eric's lips, and I counted it as a small win.
"Is that right?" He asked as I snatched a piece of bacon from the pan next to Eric's opposite side.
"Oh yeah, he's all about brooding angrily and silently around corridors. And he's really into Dauntless. Everyone else finds him really scary." I widened my eyes to exaggerate the shock effect.
He held up a small bottle of syrup, and I nodded thoroughly. Strong fingers, fingers that just a day ago were held tightly against my neck now did something entirely innocent. They poured syrup onto a surprisingly large batch of pancakes.
Darkly lit grey, blue eyes met my own.
"It sounds like you don't find him scary." I pretended to contemplate his obviously hidden question as I took the plate he offered. Although talking about Eric in the third person like this was more than strange, it seemed like he took it in stride.
"I don't." He huffed out a breath and sat at the small table next to the oven. His eyes caught on the book that I had unceremoniously plopped onto the table and I blushed.
"Snooping?"
"Investigating."
"Snooping." He confirmed, amusement in his darkly lit orbs. Letting out an exasperated noise, I sat across from Eric's still shirtless figure, and it was then I realized he had thrown on pants. He must've sneaked them past me while I inspected the sweater he had given me.
"My sweater looks good on you." My cheeks must've caught fire somewhere in between his words because he let out a throaty laugh. "Relax."
"I may not be afraid of you, but you're definitely not someone I can be calm around." He raised an eyebrow before eating a forkful of pancake. The sight was so normal I couldn't help but let out a few small laughs.
"Something funny?" He questioned, eyes moving over my writhing figure. I assumed he knew what was funny, but simply enjoyed making me laugh.
"You. This is so normal!" I spread my hands over the table, almost like trying to convince him that this scenario was completely insane. He chewed as if I had said nothing.
"Jeez', what else've you been hiding." Eyes darkened and eyebrows raised, he made a hilariously bad attempt at being mysterious. I held my stomach as I laughed, grasping the table for dear life.
"Eat up." Eric nodded at my plate and I complied, gulping the food down hungrily as if I hadn't eaten in days. It felt like I hadn't, the starchy and filling food not doing anything for my appetite or for my taste buds.
"This is the best food I've had in a while." I managed to say between chews.
"I noticed." I pursed my lips at him but otherwise the room stayed silent. I finished what was on my plate and quickly offered it to him, which he washed mechanically before setting it to dry.
"Training starts in a few minutes. You should get down there before everyone gathers."
I nodded, quiet and insecure of how to proceed. He could turn hard leader again, or he could keep this up, and if he did, it would be a miracle from the gods. I stood awkwardly in the middle of the room. The silence could be cut with a knife, the tension heavy and practically visible between us. I couldn't understand it, but I felt oddly connected to him, my body leaning towards his in an almost needy way.
"I'll give ya the t-shirt back later. Thanks for everything, Eric." I murmured before practically running out of the apartment, closing the door behind me with a loud thud. I held myself against the door before I proceeded to walk at a quick speed down the hallways before making my way towards the dorms. Dahlia and Vera both let out relieved sighs as they saw me, arms hugging me protectively. I took in my surroundings, searching for Archer, but him nor the group of two he usually hung out with were around. I let out a breath of relief, pent up anxiety releasing from my chest.
"What's wrong?" Dahlia asked suspiciously, looking behind her as if she would see what I was seeing. "Why weren't you in the dorms last night? Or in the mess hall this morning?" Vera eyed me with the same question turning over in her thoughts.
"Archer..." I paused, remembering the way he had cornered me against the wall. The way his hand had pushed against my body... "Archer assaulted me last night and I couldn't come back here." Figuring that telling them I slept in the same bed as Eric, our leader, wasn't such a good idea, I opted for leaving as much information out of my story as possible. Dahlia's hand fell over her mouth and Vera just gave my forearm a squeeze of support.
"I'm so sorry, Ashe." Vera murmured, her sadness evident.
"Where did you sleep?" Dahlia was smarter than a lot of people gave her credit for, and she peered at my t-shirt with the knowledge of a private investigator.
"I just crashed wherever I could." I could see she didn't believe me.
"And the shirt?"
"I got it from the store." My answer came too quickly and too sharp, the disbelief and mistrust evident in the way her light green eyes glimmered in the soft glow of the dorm lights.
"How did you manage to fight off Archer? He's got so much muscle and he's–"
"Dahlia," Vera said with the hint of a warning tone to her voice.
"What? I just want to know how she did it." Her posture took one of supreme speculation.
"Just ya know," I paused, trying to think of something to make an excuse out of quickly. "What Eric's been teaching us." Eric. Eric. My heart sped up as I said his name, the musk of his sweater was even more evident now that I paid attention to it. It felt like it intoxicated me, and I only wanted more of it. Of him. Oh heaven.
"You mean how to get our asses handed to us? Okay, yeah, sure." Sadness welled in her doe brown eyes. "Look, training's starting now. So we should get going." Vera said in a quiet voice. I nodded, walking quickly to my cot and pulling Eric's sweater over my head along with the small grey dress that had gotten me into so much trouble. Burning it seemed like a great idea in that moment. Vera walked up the stairs meekly, her shoulders hung in defeat. I wondered silently what happened this morning while I wasn't there.
"You stayed with Jake, didn't you!" Dahlia accused, slapping her hands together in happiness and disbelief.
"What? No–"
"I knew it! I knew you two would hit it off." I raised my hands, trying to cut her off, but it was like trying to secure a very loose, very volatile cannon.
"Dahlia–"
"How many bases did you get? Is he a good kisser? Did you sleep in his bed?" Her eyes were alight with a fire I had only seen in a few people, and this time around, it scared the tattoo off of me. The idea of Dahlia asking me these questions if I had told her I stayed with Eric made my stomach burn with desire that frightened and excited me.
"I didn't stay with Jake." She quietly assessed me for a few moments before deciding that I was telling the truth.
"So wait..." She paused, holding her hand out in front of her body as I pulled a black training shirt over my head and a pair of leather and spandex leggings up, over my thighs. "You weren't with Jake? Who were you with then?" I bit my lip and stood in front of her nervously. I couldn't tell her. Not yet, at least.
"Can we drop this? We have to train." Seemingly beginning to relent, she let out a loud puff of breath and wrapped her arm around my shoulders.
"You know I'm here for you, no matter what, whatever you need. Whenever." I smiled at her and held onto her hand. We walking into the training room together, and everything felt that much more bearable in that moment. Especially facing Eric after the level of closeness I had seen from him this morning.
"Rise and shine initiates." Four chided lightly, pacing back and forth in front of all of the initiates, his posture achingly rigid. Archer walked in with a big black and blue right over his eye, along with a split lip and a cut on his cheek. It was obvious he was beat up well and I felt a sudden gratitude at what Eric had done for me last night. How he had protected me, secured me from Archer, my worst threat. Failing Dauntless paled in comparison to Archer. At least for me.
"So wonderful for you to join us, Archer." He stood next to me and my body stood on end. Eric, who sat behind Four as he gave his small speech, straightened his back and his knuckles tightened within his fists. I tried to tell him with my eyes to relax, but he ignored me completely. A pang of sadness welled in my chest, but I quickly squashed it. Dahlia held my hand and Zach, who now acted as the bodyguard for all of the girls in our small group, eyed Archer with a menacing gaze. So it seemed that Zach knew what happened already.
"Since Lauren isn't feeling so well, the Dauntless born class will be joining us in training today. Because of that class exception, we've decided to switch topics from attacking and defense, and the small subcategories within that, and instead move to shooting guns." Shea gave a loud whoop and a few chuckles sounded alongside him.
"Something funny, initiate?" Eric spat, his glare meeting Shea and Archer simultaneously, which I had to give him some credit for. I held in a laugh and watched as Archer practically jumped from fear next to me. Before Eric, Four or Archer could say anything though, Max came through the large blown out door to the training room and into the warehouse. Behind him trailed all of the Dauntless born initiates, and behind him I found Jake, a bandana around his head and black glasses hiding the blue eyes that I knew would shine brightly underneath.
Max spoke to Eric before motioning to Four, and that was it. Max took his leave and Eric stood up, his arms flexing. He took a moment cracking his knuckles with harsh pops until he spoke.
"Guns are dangerous, so don't go poking them at others." He shrugged his shoulders, glancing at Four. If that was his big speech about guns as a leader, it was almost comical.
"I think that's a given." Jake said. He had taken off the stupid glasses he had worn to practice, but I could barely look at him with the bandana wrapped around his brown hair like that. The Dauntless born initiate and my friend pushed himself between Archer and I, giving me a wink.
"You'd be surprised." Four said with a chuckle, and that was it. That was the entirety of our prequel to guns.
I had seen guns around the Erudite compounds, on the guards shielding some big monuments or even laboratories that were off limits, but I had never actually wielded a gun.
"You scared?" Jake asked, pulling himself alongside me until he was flush against my body. The closeness was supportive and it made me feel slightly better. I was scared, but would telling him the truth make the truth of it any more bearable? I was scared, but did I want to admit my weaknesses like that? I glanced at him and sighed.
"I guess. I never really liked guns." Jake snorted and took a peek behind him. I followed his gaze and found Archer giving me dirty looks.
"And him?"
"You know about that?" I asked, shocked.
"Of course. Word spreads fast. And what I mean by that is Dahlia grabbed me as soon as she got out of the dorms." Dying on the spot sounded like a good thing to do, right then and there.
"Oh my god. Please tell me no one else knows." I sounded like I was pleading with him, but really I was just pleading with myself. For my own sanity.
"No one else knows. And no one else will know. It's all good." Jake smiled wide and wrapped his arm around my shoulders as we made our way to the path that would ultimately take us up to the roof.
As my eyes travelled over the other initiates, one of the Dauntless born boys making Dahlia laugh and Vera staying silently on her own as usual. My gaze fell on Eric, who seemed trained on Jake and I, with his arm over my shoulder. For some odd reason I felt guilty at the way he glared at Jake, but I ignored it and put it off as him being his usual grumpy self. We made it to the roof after a few levels of stairs and walking.
"Dauntless born," Four yelled over the howling of the wind, the chill of the air beginning to bite at my skin. "You'll go on the opposite side, with me. Eric will be training the transfers today." He smiled kindly at all of us, and I felt like he almost felt bad for letting Eric train us.
Eric turned towards the remaining initiates that hadn't parted to train with Four, and we all stood, awaiting his next abusive training tournament.
"First things first," Eric stopped in front of a long table with pistols and small sharpshooting rifles. "These guns are fully loaded, fully operational and ready to use. Each gun has a safety." He pulled the safety on one of the pistols back, aimed at the target which had to be at least thirty feet away and shot it. He barely moved at the recoil, his muscles bunching under the short black tee that he wore. Obviously an expert and well versed with guns, the bullet hit the target dead center, the small mannequin fallings off the pedestal it was on from the force of the blow.
"If you aren't shooting, this safety is on, understood?" Eric barked, pulling the small lever and placing it back on the table. All of the initiates nodded in unison, me included.
"The recoil is strong. Don't let it break your shot. You're dismissed, begin shooting." I let everyone else pick a gun before I went up, taking a small revolver and walking to a section of the range. A long line of panels were set up, each with glass dividing each of the sides from the shooters. Eric called everyone's name quickly, ordering them to their spots in the small glass sections. I noticed quickly that Eric placed Archer, Shea and Celia on the opposite side of me, and I was on the other end. I aimed the gun at the range but it missed completely, driving hard somewhere along the wall all the way behind the targets. Dahlia made two of her shots already, both close to the center, her section right next to mine.
"Are you sure you were even Amity? It's like you were born Dauntless or something." Dahlia just shot me a broad smile, the large noise canceling headsets protecting her ears from the harsh sounds of the guns. My arms started to shake from the adrenaline that began flowing steadily through my bloodstream.
"Careful where you aim that." Eric's strong voice came from behind me and I let my mouth form a smirk. I pulled the safety on the gun and set it on the counter of the panel, glancing over my back to Eric.
"Afraid I'll shoot something that isn't a target?" Eric's dark eyes fell on the end of the ring, where Archer stood, the Candor boy flinching as the recoil of his sharpshooting rifle rammed into his shoulder.
"I wouldn't be surprised if it happened before, let's just say that." I tried to give him a reassuring look.
"No need to worry, I'll only aim it at inanimate things. But," I leaned against the glass and threw my arm over the small railing that separated both roofs, trying to take a relaxed pose and failing miserably. "All bets are off if he comes my way." Eric moved closer, leaning his forearm against the glass. He was so close, but so off limits to me. That and he was effectively blocking my escape route.
"I'll take care of him if it comes to that." I was about to lean in and touch his cut, the small stitching looking much better than last night. Instead my fingers twitched and Eric looked down, his eyes falling to where my hands craved to roam over his body. I wanted to ask him why he felt the need to protect me, but I knew that would lead to him ignoring me, or just turning cold and heartless like he said he was. The idea that he thought that made a small part of my heart sink.
"Keep shooting." He murmured silently, his eyes roaming carefully over my body before landing on my green eyes. Without another word he walked away and left me practically hanging on the side of the roof.
The beating of shoes were loud, even through my headset. The Dauntless born were running fast down the roof, stomping down the stairs. Watching as Jake saluted to Dahlia and I, I waved back at him, laughing at his silliness. He still wore the stupid bandana on his head.
"I am so jealous that they get to leave earlier than us." I quirked a brow.
"I'd take shooting guns over running laps through the Dauntless compounds."
"That's just 'cause you're missing all your shots." I threw a glare her way but tried to ignore her while I fired two more rounds, both effectively missing my target. I let out an aggravated noise and secured my gun as my head pushed against the glass.
"So, Eric talks to you. Like actually talks; no growling or threatening or anything." My fingers pulled nervously at the hem of my shirt, the stretchy fabric allowing me pretty good flexibility.
"Yeah, so?" Dahlia snorted, her eyes rolling back into her head as if what I had said was the most stupid thing she had heard in weeks. Her hair was tied back today, her red locks safely tucked away.
"Yeah, so? That guy is like a brick wall. Emotionally and physically." She rubbed her side. "Literally." I chuckled and shot a round.
"It doesn't matter. Eric is Eric. He's our trainer and leader." She narrowed her eyes, and for a moment, it seemed like she could see right through me, through my bones and my blood straight into what I secretly wanted but couldn't admit.
"Right." She muttered, taking her stance and shooting round after round until her gun ran out of ammo. She made almost most of her shots and I began to feel envious at how good she was at this.
"Hold the guns," she practically shouted, taking her headset off before looking violently rattled as Sierra, one of the other girls, shot her gun. Shifting her headset back over her ears from the shrill gunshot, she gave me a dazed look. "I'll be back. I'm gonna go get some more bullets." I nodded and aimed at my target. Faintly in the distance I could hear Eric yelling at one of the initiates who was frequently missing the targets. I wondered why he didn't yell at me and glare at me the same way he did his other initiates, but I doubted any of them had seen him in his boxers either. I blushed at the thought and tried to push it to the furthest part of my mind. Maybe Dahlia was right, maybe the way he acted with me wasn't so normal, and I couldn't help but feel happy at that thought.
"You miss me last night?" Chills ran up my spine as I heard that voice, the voice that had whispered sickening things to me the night before. I turned my head, my eyes meeting the lamented ones of Archer's. I sucked in a breath as he took Dahlia's panel next to me, his eyes roaming over my body almost the way Eric's grey, blue orbs had, but Archer's intent was much more sinister. Much more evil. I knew he would drink in my fear so I tried to stay neutral, but it was taking the cooperation of every nerve in my body not to haul off and whack him with the butt of my gun.
"You afraid to sleep in the dorms with me, Ashe?" My nails dug into my palms at the sound of my name coming from his mouth. The pain was barely felt as the fear of Archer's closeness reminded me of the way he had shoved himself against me back in the darkly lit corridor only yesterday.
"Paranoia is a fickle friend, don't you think?" Archer whispered next to me and I balled my fist into my palm. Maybe I couldn't hurt him enough to knock him out, but if I could get one punch in, I would be happy. If my shot was good I could break his nose. "You're not safe anywhere, baby Erudite." I froze.
"Candor." Eric hissed through clenched teeth. I could feel the heat he radiated behind me, still remember the way he had held me tightly in his arms earlier that morning. Instantly I felt comforted by just the memory. I backed up almost instinctively, feeling safer with Eric rather than where I was now. Archer turned his shoulder but gazed at the leader impassively. His eyes chilled me to the bone. Unlike Eric's cold one's, Archer's were dead inside. Eric walked forward, pressing himself between Archer and I.
"Go back to your position and stay there." My protector snarled, staring menacingly at Archer. He leaned in closer to the now trembling initiate. "Or I swear I will kill you with my bare fucking hands." Betting that he could, Archer shuffled his feet back to his spot on the other side of the shooting range, where Eric had originally assigned him. Eric turned to me, and although his cold features didn't change, I could almost see the worry in his grey orbs.
"You okay?" I was inclined to touch him, to show my gratitude in some way, but with all of the other initiates and Four so close, I knew I couldn't. And I knew that Eric wouldn't like it either. Jeez' I sounded like an Amity.
"Yeah." I kicked some of the gravel from the roof, a little puff of dirt and dust swirling around my foot.
"Honestly, initiate." I wasn't Ashe, and I wasn't Erudite. I was somewhere in between to him, and it felt like lightyears away from where I had been close to a week ago. Before that I had been Ashely, but I felt like that girl was slowly dying now, being replaced by this girl that I had been named in Dauntless. Ashe. I was becoming someone born of the ashes of the flames that had engulfed my past, and I was no longer afraid of where I was, despite Archer.
"Fine." I picked my head up defiantly and gazed into his eyes without fear of him. "I'm scared out of my wits but I'd rather not show it." If I didn't know better I would've sworn I saw Eric's lip twitch in amusement.
"You can show it around me. It's not like I bite." Eric gave me a look. "Much."
"You've missed most of your shots." His deep voice commented cooly, squinting against the sunlight to see the small target which had only one shot lodged deep in it's shoulder. I sucked in a breath and crossed my arms over my chest.
"Really?" I said in a mocking tone. "I hadn't noticed." I had been looking for at least a smirk or some sort of laugh, but I got no reaction out of him. Instead he just glanced at me and tilted his head to the shooting panel.
"Stand here." Slowly I responded, moving in front of him and taking the safety off of my gun.
"Point at the target, in the middle." I lifted the small hand gun, and despite it's size it was surprisingly heavy. The weight in my hand felt familiar from the rest of my shots, but it made both uneasiness and adrenaline course through my body wildly. "Straighten your posture." I felt Eric's warm hand caress my back, pushing me forward so that my chest was jutting out and my back was very stiff. One of the initiates shouted something to the other on the roof, another erupted in an adorable fit of giggles, but I ignored it. That or I couldn't hear it over the pounding in my blood and in my ears. Eric's touch made me burn and it felt amazing. His fingertips trailed over my arms to my hands, and because of his stance his chest was pressed flush against my back. I held in my breath, waiting for him to let go of me but it was no use. Eric's body was like a steel case and it would be impossible to get out of, and I wasn't so sure I even wanted to. My skin tingled under his contact.
"Relax." He whispered right into my ear, his lips grazing the soft flesh that seemed all too sensitive now. His palm repositioned the gun, and then dropped to rest on my stomach. I shivered at his touch and I knew he felt it by the smirk that pressed into my shoulder. It felt like a close-mouthed kiss.
"Are you nervous around me, initiate?" I swear his voice got deeper, his tone both sinister and seductive. I didn't give him an answer and he just let out a chuckle, not waiting for my response since he already seemed to understand the answer.
"Take the shot." He commanded, making my body tingle in anticipation. Pulling the trigger, the gun recoiled harshly and the bullet hit right off the center. I laughed and turned around, glancing at Eric with gratitude. I wanted to hug him, thank him for teaching me something I thought would be another hopeless cause for me like my training with Four. For once I felt control over my life in Dauntless, control over my rank and my score. His face was the epitome of emotionlessness, but that didn't stop me from looking into his dark grey eyes with some form of a shaky thanks.
"Continue shooting until you make every shot." With that he turned on his heel and walked over towards the other initiates, critiquing them with harsh words and rough shouts. I released my long held breath and looked at the target. Maybe things would look up after all.