Chapter 10 : The Road to Redcliffe

As they traveled down the road in the dusky light, Alistair tried not think too much of how he hated Morrigan. She had picked on him for a while then gone back to taking point, riding far ahead of them. She had claimed that she would scout out a good camping location for the night. Alistair was glad she had broken away from them. He was tired of arguing with her, which he couldn't seem to avoid. It seemed to make Lyssa upset.

He watched Lyssa riding and noticed that she seemed quite at ease. She rode a horse well, he thought, though I shouldn't be surprised. She is a fighter after all. He found himself wondering many things about her. Leliana was riding a little close and he felt embarrassed about asking some of the things he wanted to know.

"Alistair," Lyssa said, breaking his concentration.

"Yes?" he said looking sideways at her.

"You said you were raised in the Chantry. Don't the men who are trained by the Chantry become templars?"

"Yes. And yes, that is what I was doing there, though not very well I have to admit."

"No? Did you not like it?" Lyssa asked.

Alistair smiled a little surprised, "No," he said, "I did not. You're the first person besides Duncan who ever guessed that. Most people just think I was too stupid to continue with the studies. I must admit, I never did anything to correct them. Acting like I didn't know the first thing about Andraste enraged the Grand Cleric. I've always wondered what that particular shade of red was called..."

Alistair smiled to himself at the memory, "Anyway, I liked the practical training well enough, and the studies of mages I found particularly interesting. The main problem was that I've never been very religious, and that is an important part of being a templar. And...well...I just could never really get completely behind the whole mages are evil thing… although I think Morrigan might make a believer out of me. I understand the fear, but I've met more than my share of mages who weren't bad at all. Some of them could even smile a little."

"I shouldn't be so harsh on the templars though. Not all the templars or the Chantry believe that mages are the scourge of the earth. But... after my first Harrowing... well, let's just say I had my fill of how the Chantry handles these things."

"Harrowing… That's where the mages are tested, to see if they are strong enough to be allowed to live?" Lyssa asked.

"Yes, that's it in a nutshell. It is not a pleasant job, being there if a mage does not complete the harrowing. I understand why it's done. I just think there must be some other way to go about it. That may be why I did not get along so well with the Grand Cleric, or it could just be that I wasn't in the chapel every night on my knees praying to Andraste."

"Are you a full templar then?" she asked

"No, thankfully. Duncan saw to that. I had managed to delay taking the Sacramental Vows as long as I could. But the Grand Cleric's patience eventually came to an end. Fortunately for me I met Duncan at a tournament. I hadn't actually done all that well there, but Duncan must have taken a liking to me. He used the Right of Conscription to recruit me for the Grey Wardens, much to the Grand Cleric's disgust," Alistair said thoughtfully.

"But why would the Grand Cleric try to keep you if you were not as devoted as she wished? It seems like a bad idea to have a templar who might not follow your orders," Lyssa said.

"Huh. You're telling me. In fact I told as much to the Grand Cleric as often as I could, hoping there was a way I could be thrown out. I really did try everything in the book trying to get the boot, but alas...I think the Grand Cleric thought I could still be reformed somehow, that she could force me to her will. I'm so grateful that Duncan chose me out of all the others, though I still don't really know why," Alistair said, his gaze falling to his reigns as he thought about Duncan again.

"Alistair, do you still not recognize your worth, even after all this time?" Lyssa asked searching Alistair's eyes.

"Of course I do! One sovereign for an hour or five sovereigns for the night and not a bit less," Alistair said joking trying to shrug off the compliment.

Lyssa turned her horse fully around and pulled up alongside him and stopped.

"You're a Grey Warden Alistair. Surely you recognize character and strength it took to get here," she said.

Alistair looked up the road. "Maybe...," he said looking off into the distance.

Lyssa shook her head, smiling. "I better go check on Morrigan. See if she has found a suitable campsite."

Lyssa rode away, quickly catching up to Morrigan. It was getting dark and she wanted to rest. Alistair watched her go and nudged his horse to fall in line with Leliana, who was smiling discretely at the two of them. She found the relationship to be quite sweet. She had talked some with Alistair as they first hit the road, and it was quite clear how inexperienced he was with this sort of thing.

"So... you're a woman, Leliana," he said conversationally as he rode up beside her.

"Figured that out have you?" Leliana asked laughing.

"Oh... well yes, I mean no, I didn't mean it like that. I just thought you could give me some friendly advice, you know, about something in particular," he said.

"Continue," Leliana said patiently.

"Yes, well, ahem... say a guy you know, say you like him. When would it be appropriate to move to the next step?"

"Well, that depends. Which step are we currently on?" Leliana asked.

"Um... is there an easy way to tell?"

Leliana laughed, "Well, not everybody has the same number of steps. So no, it might not be easy to tell."

"You're not being very helpful," Alistair said grumpily.

"Oh don't pout, Alistair. I'll be nice. Let me see... Well, if I was being wooed by a man and I thought things were going too fast, I am pretty sure I would tell him."

"She would? I mean—you would? You wouldn't be upset having to tell me—I mean him to slow down?"

"No. As long as he respected my wishes, I would find it flattering that he liked me so much."

"You would?" Alistair asked.

"Yes. But I wouldn't worry if I were you Alistair. You seem to be doing just fine from where I'm sitting."

"I don't really know what you're talking about," Alistair said blushing and turning away.

Leliana giggled quietly.

As they rode up to where Morrigan and Lyssa had stopped Alistair hopped off his horse and helped Leliana off of hers. She thanked him and he went into the camp where Morrigan was setting up an elaborate tent off to the side, far away from the clearing that had obviously been used as a camp site before. Charred wood sat in the center of the clearing. A large boulder sat near the fire pit. Alistair noticed Lyssa had already begun gathering up firewood and he moved to help while Leliana got out some gear to pitch her own simple tent.

As they gathered wood Alistair asked, "I've been wondering something, Lyssa, are you very religious?"

"No, not really. My mother and father more so than me. My mother really the most. She used to say that she thanked the Maker every day for all she had in her life. I always felt it was a nice sentiment, but nothing more."

"Really?" Alistair asked, "You don't believe in the Maker at all? Or Andraste? Any of that?"

"Well, when there are things like archdemons, mages and dragons in the world, I would never say that you could completely count out a powerful entity that might have been. But I do not believe either Andraste or the Maker answer our prayers. I've seen too much battle to believe that. Such entities, if they were at all benevolent, surely they would not allow people to do the things they do to each other.

"No, I think the Chantry uses two powerful beings from history to help push their beliefs onto the peoples of Ferelden. And the things they do in the name of the Maker," Lyssa said with a quiet anger. Then her voice got quiet.

"Are you... addicted to Lyrium, Alistair?" she asked gently. She hadn't seen him using it, but she knew if he were trying to hide it he could.

"No." he said shocked, "Duncan... when I became a Grey Warden, he helped me wean myself of it. You know about that practice?"

"We had Maleficar in Highever, so we called in the Templars to help us. It was not easy, but I fought alongside them. They are a very tight-lipped group, as I am sure you know. But they grew to trust me when I saved one of their order from a blood mage who was draining the life force from him. I noticed they were taking something... discreetly. I asked the man I saved about it. He was reluctant to tell me, but when I found out... I was so angry for a while. I was very young, only fifteen years old, and I was naïve... I believed the Chantry was this perfect place that none of the evils of the world could touch. I did not want to believe the Chantry would do such a thing, to control their soldiers like that. It is disrespectful, to say the least. A soldier's honor should not be so callously abused."

Lyssa looked up to see Alistair staring at her with great admiration.

"If I were a soldier, I would want no other commander than you," he said.

Lyssa blushed and quickly concentrated on her task of starting the fire. She dropped some wood in the fire pit and pulled some flint from her pack. Within minutes the fire was blazing. She sat down heavily on the ground and leaned up against the boulder near the pit. Alistair joined her, leaning against the same boulder, their heads close but facing away from each other. He took off his shirt of splint mail and set it neatly aside, and then removed his tunic so that he could feel the cool night air on his hot skin.

He picked up a stick and began to draw symbols in the dirt. Leliana and Morrigan had retired to their tents. The Mabari came trotting in from the woods and turned a few circles in the triangular space between Lyssa and Alistair before snuffling once and dropping into a tight ball. Alistair thought Lyssa might have fallen asleep, she was so quiet, and he was about to go get a blanket to put over her when she spoke shyly.

"Alistair," she said softly.

"Yes," he said inclining his head slightly toward hers.

"Since you grew up in the chantry, have you never..." she trailed off.

Alistair smiled, knowing what she was getting at, but too shy to answer her question outright.

"Have I never... what? Had a good pair of shoes?" he said playfully.

"No, you know what I mean," Lyssa said feeling her cheeks get hot.

"No, I don't think that I do...Have I never...seen a Basilisk?... Ate a jellied ham?... Have I never licked a lamppost in winter?" he said blushing himself. He was glad she could not see his face. But she could hear the smile in his voice.

"Now you're making fun of me," she said twisting a blade of grass in her fingers.

"Make fun of you, dear lady? Perish the thought!" he said chuckling, "Well now, have you ever...licked a lamppost in winter?" Alistair said, his heart beating strongly and a pleasant sensation building inside of him.

Lyssa twisted the grass around her fingers her hands sweating, "I...might have, just the once, out of curiosity," she said so quietly Alistair could barely hear her.

A small smile played across his lips as he replied, "Just the once? Well then, it must not be as exciting as all that if you didn't try it again...or perhaps it just wasn't the right lamppost."

Lyssa stifled a nervous laugh with her hand.

"I myself have never had the, pleasuuure," Alistair purred out the word, "not that I haven't thought about it, but you know...in the chantry, there isn't much opportunity and we were taught to be polite in the presence of beautiful ladies such as yourself," he said taking a big breath.

"That wouldn't be a problem, would it," he said hesitantly, hardly daring to breathe.

He felt Lyssa's fingers lay gently on top of his hand, "I can't imagine why it would be."

Alistair breathed a deep sigh of relief and felt Lyssa's hand pull away. After a while, he turned to look at her and she was curled up in a ball already asleep. He happily admired the night sky for a while before rolling over and dozing off.

**

Lyssa could feel a great pressure building up in her chest. She was in a cavern deep below the ground on the edge of a chasm many fathoms deep. Scorching heat from the depths cooked her face. She clawed at her chest trying to remove her breastplate so she could breathe. She heard a terrifying cry and looked out over the chasm. The archdemon was on the other side, staring her down. It began to cross a narrow bridge to get to her, each step shaking the ground beneath her.

Impossibly, the fiend seemed to be smiling at her. Its voice hissed, but only in her head, the sound somehow still rattling her teeth.

"If you are so eager to die, then come. Kill me, but I will not be going alone!"

"No!" she screamed, gasping for air her arms swinging wildly around her. Suddenly the night was cool and she was in someone's arms, a hand stroking her hair. She was still gasping when the fire came into focus, Alistair's arms wrapped tightly around her, his hand holding the back of her head, her face close to his bare neck. She could see the sun beginning to lighten the sky.

"The archdemon?" he asked quietly.

"Yes," she whispered, unable to shake the terror just yet.

"You get better at blocking the dreams out after a time. For a while anyway. When they start to come back... well then you know your time has come," he said.

Lyssa wrapped her arms tightly around her self and shivered, despite the warmth of Alistair's body.

"Your time?" she asked, shuddering a little.

"Oh, Duncan never told you then," he said. He drew her shivering body tighter to his own. Her skin was so cold, as if she had just come down from the Frostback Mountains, "Grey Wardens don't have the luxury of dying of old age. We get about thirty years, tops, once we have the taint. When the time comes, you'll know it. The dreams will return and they won't stop. That's when you know you need to end it soon, or you'll go mad. A lot of the Grey Wardens make one last trip to the Deep Roads, to go down killing as many darkspawn as they can before they die."

Alistair was quiet for a while as the morning birds began signing their songs and the dew of the new day settled onto his hair.

"Duncan was having the dreams again, so I suppose he didn't have much longer anyway. That doesn't make me feel any better about it somehow," he said bitterly.

"Does it... speak to you?" Lyssa asked shakily. She felt Alistair tense.

"You can hear it speak? I've known only a few Wardens who said they could understand it. They said it is a terrible thing to hear," Alistair said quietly.

Lyssa clutched at herself until her breathing slowed. She sat letting Alistair hold her for a little while before Alistair said gently, "We should get ready to go, we've got a lot of things to do yet."

He reluctantly let her go and helped her up. He walked over and picked up his tunic and splint mail shirt. He put them on while Lyssa walked out to the road to watch the sun rise. She still could feel the archdemon in her head, its words chilling her soul. She felt she had heard a great portent, and was on the verge of discovering what it meant, but it kept slipping away from her. The archdemon's words were not just a threat, there was a message in them, something important... She suddenly found herself wishing for guidance from her mother, wanting to speak to her, to ask her these things. She heard the camp being broken up behind her. Moby trotted up happily and plopped down by her side. She placed her hand on his head.

"Oh why, my friend, does this fill me with such dread?"