Piper didn't move. "Come on Chapman, you can't spend all day in the van." Talking didn't seem to help matters and Morello wasn't even sure if Piper heard her anyway. I've got to get her out of here before a CO comes, Morello worried that Piper would get thrown back in SHU just for the hell of it. Some of the CO's here were sick. She hesitantly placed a hand on Piper's boney ankle. Morello tried to calm Piper with her soothing voice, "It's going to be okay, you can lay down in a few minutes. We just have to get you to your bunk, okay hun?"
Morello's touch was a shock to her skin. Piper immediately curled her legs into the fetal position, out of reach from further contact. Physical contact had become an early warning signal for abuse. She was on the alert now, senses straining for signs of danger. Her head was still spinning from all the noise and she felt queasy from the bumpy ride. Piper let her glazed eyes travel over her old friend. It's just Morello. And she's right, you need to move. It's not safe here. Piper struggled to lift herself upright and scoot to the edge of the seat. Morello stepped back a few feet, giving Piper room to hop down from the vehicle. If Chapman accidently bumped into her she didn't want to have to chase her all over the grounds or something. Morello had seen some crazy things in her time from people coming back from SHU.
Slowly but surely Piper eased herself onto the ground. She found if she locked her knees she could support herself. She tried not to think of the fact that she had to hold the side of the van for balance too. How was she going to walk? Every cell in her body screamed out it's indignation. Places she didn't even know had pain receptors were overloading her brain with sensory input. It hurt to breath. To stand. Her head swam as her eyes involuntarily fluttered. She just needed to lay down. Hey, she almost managed to not grimace, the Earth was coming up to help her.
When she saw Piper's eyes roll back in her head Morello had known that Piper was about to faint. She tried her best to catch her friend but only managed to knock herself down as well. Extracting her limbs and clamoring up, Morello attempted to yank Piper onto her feet. The woman was a lot taller than her and there was no way she was going to able to carry her deadweight to her bunk. Gripping her uniform, Morello pulled her up against the side of the prison van, head lolling onto her chest. What the hell happened to her down there? Trying to form a plan, Morello looked down onto her friend with sadness in her eyes. What is that? The side of Piper's shirt had ridden up when she had slid down the side of the vehicle. Morello crept closer and waved a hand in front of her friends face: Piper was out cold. She gingerly lifted the uniform higher, exposing a larger area of flesh.
"Oh. My. God. Piper.." Morello furiously blinked back tears as she shoved her shirt higher. Her skin looked like marble: deep purples mixed with royal blues, blood red scratch marks accenting the ghastly scene. Shoving the shirt down Morello stumbled back a few paces. I need to get help. Who did this to her? Those marks reach around her back, she couldn't have done that to herself, right?! On the verge of a panic attack herself, Morello tried to figure out what to do. Getting a doctor was out of the question. She couldn't get a CO to help, who knew which ones were in on this. She couldn't run and get Alex; that would do more harm than good. She's probably high as a kite right now. They still hadn't had the chance to approach her yet about the drugs. But now with Piper back, time had run out for Alex: they could no longer afford to deliberate on the issue.
Knowing that every second she stood there was another second closer to possibly attracting the attention of a guard, Morello sprinted across the grounds toward the electrical building. She needed Nicky's help with this. Nicky always knew what to do.
Watson rolled her eyes at Nicky's raunchy joke. "You're sick, you know that right? Like, for real, sick in the head."
"Hey thanks!" Nicky retorted, "And fuck you too!" Both girls busted out laughing, surprised they were actually semi-getting along.
"Nicky! Wait Nicky come back!" She turned as she heard her name. Coming at them in a full out run was her lovely ex-fuck buddy, Morello. Only ex for a while, I'm workin on that, Nicky corrected her mind. Coming to a halt in front of the two girls, Morello grasped her knees and took a couple deep breaths before grabbing Nicky's hand and dragging her back in the direction she had come.
"Woah, Lorna, what's all this about?" She tried to drag her heels in the dirt but lost ground regardless. She motioned for Watson to follow in case she needed to restrain her friend. She was acting a bit psycho.
Once Morello felt Nicky follow her on her own she tried to explain herself. "Nicky it's Chapman.. I don't know what to do," Nicky saw tears forming in Lorna's eyes. "She just collapsed and I didn't mean to see. It was just there. I couldn't help it!" She choked out on a sob.
Completely confused, Nicky gave Morello's hand a comforting squeeze. If she could get her to calm down maybe more of this would make sense. She tried to piece together the information she had so far. Something had obviously upset Morello. It had to do with Chapman. Which might mean Chapman is back. Yes, it had to because she said she saw something when Piper collapsed. Okay so something is wrong with Piper. Feeling a little more confident about the situation after a few moments, Nicky asked, "what did you see?" Morello looked over at Nicky and shook her head, wiping her eyes with her free hand. They were approaching the van and Nicky could see what looked like Piper slumped against the side. She wasn't even sure if that was really Piper. Maybe an imitation scarecrow of her friend, but definitely not the real flesh and blood woman. As they drew closer, however, Nicky knew she was wrong.
"Shit, what happened to blondie?" Nicky almost forgot that she told Watson to follow them.
"She got out of the van and the next thing I know she was fainting. I tried to catch her but it didn't work so well." Nicky noted the grass stains on Morello's knees. "I couldn't carry her so I propped her against the van." She lowered her voice and glanced at Watson.
"Hey I don't got no beef with Blondie. She was in the SHU for four months. That shit wipes any slate clean. Plus she chill with Taystee. We cool." Watson reassured Morello, who still eyed her suspiciously. "Fine, I'll turn around. Geeze what are we five fucking years old?"
Seeing that Watson was looking the other direction, Morello approached Piper and lifted the front of her shirt a few inches. She didn't need to lift it more. The contrast between the purple and orange alarmed Nicky. Her hand shot out to pull the uniform higher. "Fuck..." she hissed between her teeth.
Neither of the noticed Watson turn around at Nicky's gasp. "Jesus shit on a mother fucking stick..."
Nicky was on her in a second. "If you speak about this to anyone.. Anyone, I will personally cripple you. Won't be able to run the track with those sexy ass legs, now will ya, Watson" Nicky smiled at her menacingly.
"Calm down Nichols. I said we was cool. Look, who sees you in SHU? During my time: no one but CO's, and I ain't got one ounce of love for them bitches. Enemy of my enemy is my friend yo. That shit's for real." Nicky looked pointedly at Watson.
"Fine. Will you help me get her to a bunk? We need to get her out of the yard. If we carry her that will draw a fuck ton of attention. We need to make it look like she is walking and just weak." Pulling at her sleeves Nicky took off her jacket and started to dress Piper. "If anyone sees these bruises we are fucked and so is Chapman. We have to be careful. Morello, can you stay ahead of us and warn us if a CO or anyone is coming?"
Sitting at the end of Piper's temporary bunk, Nicky reflected on everything that had just taken place. This couldn't have happened at a worse time. Piper was back from SHU, at the moment unconscious, emaciated, and badly beaten. Nicky had checked her body once they had gotten her into the bunk. Morello watched the hall and she had sent Watson to return the tools after reinforcing her threat to incapacitate her if she told anyone. They would get to the washer later. Piper's stomach and chest had been peppered in deep purple bruises that wrapped completely around her body. Unsure of whether or not she should check, Nicky had pulled down the waistband of Piper's pants and saw that the lesions intensified the further down she went. Upon seeing that Nicky decided she was going to fully inspect her friend's body while she was still unconscious. Piper would hate her for it, but Nicky had to know the full extent of the damage.
There were green and yellow traces of fading bruises on Piper's arms and shoulders. Some sprouting at the very edge of just forming splotches. Nicky drew in a breath. How long had this gone on? What am I even looking at? Fading bruises mean that whatever happened was more than a one-time deal. Fuck. She took a closer inspection of Piper's abdomen and chest. Normally this sort of intimacy with another woman would turn her on, but for the first time her libido stayed under control. Piper's ribs stuck out like a bent bird's cage and her vertebrae reminded Nicky of a dinosaur sculpture she once saw in a museum. The pale scars on Piper's front stood out against the rainbow of her flesh. Some of them Nicky remembered trying to stop up while they were waiting on the ambulance. Fresh gouges ran down her sides and if Nicky didn't know any better, she could swear those came from fingernails. It would be consistent with the bruising.
"Fuck..." she sighed, scratching the back of her head. Chapman's obviously been through some fucked up shit. Nicky didn't know how fucked up but if Piper's body was any indication, then it must have been pretty fucking awful. And if her body is in this state, how do you think her mind has fared? she pondered. Vause had relapsed and Piper had been abused. Somehow, she had to keep the two of them apart. Not only would Vause not want Chapman to see her high out of her mind, but if Vause caught on that something was wrong with Piper, she would go apeshit. Fuck that! I don't even know how she will react when she finds out Chapman is back. Last thing Chapman needs right now is more drama. Nicky knew that behind the stone cold bitch façade Alex was crushed over what had happened to the blonde. Just another thing Vause hadn't admitted to herself, yet all of Litchfield knew. If Vause knew that it was worse than just being almost killed and then thrown in SHU (as if that wasn't bad enough) for a while she would have a psychotic break. If she were in Vause's place and Lorna in Chapman's, she couldn't be held responsible for her actions and would probably get herself locked up in SHU for life. Nicky wasn't going to let her friend do that to herself. On the other hand, from her experience in SHU Nicky knew that it was going to take a lot of time for Chapman to adjust back to community life. If she could at all. Shit, how am I going to do this?
Grumbling from below gave Nicky her first clue at what needed to be done. Other inmates were just getting released from their work duties. Dinner would follow and she could save Chapman something to eat. The woman needed as many carbs as she could sneak her but after inspecting Chapman's body she doubted if anything that wasn't liquid would hold. Grabbing a pen, Nicky scribbled a note to Chapman telling her that she would be back in a bit and not to go anywhere. The less she wanders around the easier it will be to keep Alex in the dark. She placed it by Piper's head so when she opened her eyes she couldn't miss it.
Alex strolled leisurely back to toward the dorms. She didn't want it to seem as if she was in a hurry just to skip dinner and go to sleep. Habits like that arouse suspicion and the last thing she wanted to do was draw attention to herself. But slowing her pace proved to be a challenge. Need was in the forefront of her mind. Trying to push it away only made her realize how pathetic she had become. How weak. Alex hated these moments. The periods in between doses. She could actually feel the strain on her body: her racing heart, weakened muscles, trembling hands, shortness of breath. Well, the last one might not be from the Valium, Alex confessed. No, that one is from the shards of my heart that jammed in my lungs. She tried to inhale deeply but instantly felt the stabbing pain in her chest. Alex closed her eyes and walked the rest of the way down the hall.
"Hey Vause." She heard at her elbow.
"Hey Nicky." Alex said without opening her eyes. She hadn't heard Nichols approach her.
"Got a minute?" Nicky asked quietly.
Alex stopped in the hallway, "sure, what's up?"
"Actually I was wondering if we could walk the track for a bit. Fresh air." Was it just her or did Nicky sound nervous? She shook her head slightly. I think I'm getting paranoid.
They took the nearest exit and made their way toward the prison's sorry excuse for a track. Nicky noticed that Watson was already there, completing who knows how many laps. Watson locked eyes with Nicky across the field, nodded, and went back to her music. She released a breath she didn't know she had been holding in.
"Air that refreshing?" came Vause's dry remark.
"After spending half the day breathing in Luschek's putrid stink, yeah it is." Alex nodded in silent agreement. She had passed the guy in the halls a few times and it was always the same: booze and BO. It was a wonder how he kept his job. Alex thought about pressing the matter as to why today was different than any other but let it drop. Nicky asked her out here so she would just wait till Nicky got to the point.
They had walked almost a whole lap before Nicky relented. Nicky bumped elbows with her. "Thanks for walking with me Vause. Guess I just needed some company." Alex knocked elbows with her friend, returning the friendly gesture. Instead of veering off and heading for the door Nicky continued into another lap. Alex waited patiently for the crazy blonde to say whatever was on her mind.
Each and every way Nicky formed the question in her head she promptly dismissed as stupid. Fuck I suck when it comes to personal shit, Nicky cursed herself. Nicky couldn't talk to Alex about her or Chapman, her two biggest issues at the moment. She needed some insight on where Vause was inside her head. Was she still pretending to hate Chapman? Was she still pissed that Piper "chose" Harry? Was she still just trying to block the blonde out? Was she still convincing herself that Chapman wasn't a part of her life? It was obvious that Vause was avoiding something with the drugs but she didn't know which it was. Now that Chapman was back it was essential that she knew where Alex was at in her head. Maybe she finally admitted to herself that she loved Chapman and was using the drugs as a way to block out her regret. Maybe she missed Chapman so much that she used the drugs to blur the memory of her. Or even to pretend that she was still around. The variables were endless. There were all these uncertainties and Nicky needed more specifics. I guess I could try to just take it one step at a time.
Nicky kicked a patch of dirt. "We are friends, right Vause?"
"Of course Nicky. You're the best friend I've got in this shithole," Alex offered.
Nicky nodded and focused her gaze somewhere off into the distance. "Friends stick together right? Through thick and thin. Hell or high water. All that fluff."
The brunette's eyebrows knitted together. "Yeah of course. That is what friends are for." What is she getting at?
Nicky continued staring off into the distance, avoiding the eyes that she knew were focused on her now. "You know I wouldn't do anything unless it was for your own good right? I'm like your wingman. I've got your back, even if it might not seem like it at the time."
Red alerts went off in Alex's head. What did Nichols know? Had she seen? Was she going to turn her in? "Sure, okay." Alex forced her voice to remain even. "What's this about then, Robin?"
Nicky chuckled and allowed herself to meet Vause's inquisitive stare. She smells bullshit like a shark smells blood, I'm just going to have to get to the point and hope she doesn't close me off further. "I need to know something." Nicky steadily held the taller woman's gaze. As the next words issued from her mouth Nicky could discern a shadow cross Vause's features. "I need to know where in that head of your's you are with Chapman."
Author's Note/Answers
Thank you for all the feedback on the last chapter. I understand I should probably clarify some points that are causing confusion. I noticed a lot of you were concerned with what happened to Piper and weren't sure if it was a dream, hallucination, or reality. Some think that I crossed a line and that it couldn't possibly happen. Maybe it didn't. I purposely wrote it so it would be confusing because after being in SHU for four months in the state that Piper is in, she doesn't know either. Her lucid moments are few and far between as she spent most of her waking moments either hysterical or delusional.
My writing style might not have helped either. This is the first time I have ever tried to write a story, so if I veer off track, contradict myself, or mess up in anyway please bring it to my attention. My goal is to make people feel what the character is feeling. Piper was terrified and unsure of what was going on herself. She only knew that she was being visited again by Healy and Luschek, who was down there with the excuse that something needed to be fixed. Piper Chapman shut herself down.
On that note I am going to apologize if I have angered anyone by where this story is going. Obviously it took a dark turn and I understand I have taken some creative liberties with the characters. I try to get into the character's minds to see what they are going through as well as looking at them from another character's perspective. Also, I think I am seeing how far people can be pushed and how they manage to recover. As I said, this is my first time trying something like this; I am still figuring myself out as a writer.
Please drop me a review to let me know how I am doing: what you like or don't like. What seems improbable or if I got something correct. Criticism or encouragement: both are welcome as they only serve to further develop my writing. Thank you to those that have spoken up. I appreciate the time you take to review. I hope I don't let you guys down.
-N1NJ4