S: Yo people. Welcome to chapter 10 of the fantastic 'Sonic's Creed', the rip off of Pirates of the Caribbean.
S: Ha. You fell for it. It isn't a ripoff of Pirates of the Caribbean at all.
"Right then Sonic, I have determined lots of information from the traitor. In light of this, you are getting another mission."
Sonic stood up straight. "Does this mean I get my weapons back, o glorious Master whom I have always appreciated and admired?"
Shadow stopped, one foot still in the air. There was silence for a long moment. Then Shadow started pacing again.
"Don't push it Sonic."
"Damn."
"Noble attempt, though. My overwhelming awesomeness must be rubbing off on you!" Shadow puffed out his chest, basking in his self-induced glory.
Sonic was learning fast. "Oh indeed, Master. I was blind until you honoured me with your teachings."
"Shut up Sonic."
"Aw."
"Anyway. You will get two weapons back because of your success with the locating of the traitor. You will gain back your sword," the Master reached under his desk and pulled out a pathetic looking sword that couldn't slice butter, "and your ankle-blades, the mark of an assassin."
The two treasures were on the desk now. Sonic crept towards them, salivating already. Just before he could get them, Shadow snatched them up.
"But you have to catch me first! Mwahahahahahahahaha!"
And with that, Shadow dived out the window.
Sonic blinked. Then he looked at the window, and blinked again. "Son of a…"
Sonic jumped out the window as well, and chased Shadow down the road. "Get back here!"
"Never!"
"I said stop!"
"Mwahahahahahaha!"
They jumped over hay carts, they scaled buildings, they somehow leapt over gorges that weren't there a second ago and weren't there afterwards.
"Fire! Fire!"
Sonic looked up. Hundreds of archers on the rooftops were taking aim. He squeaked like a little girl and threw himself forward in a burst of speed as arrows hit barely inches behind him. Shadow was some distance ahead, skating backwards while laughing his ass off.
"Sonic Wind!"
Shadow yelped and launched himself into the air as a blue whirlwind appeared from nowhere.
"Chaos Spear!"
Sonic dodged the golden missile and used roofs as stairs to reach Shadow's level. The Master was now simply flying along, legs crossed and hands behind his head.
"How are you doing that?"
"The power of the plot, Sonic! You are not wise enough to understand!"
"You son of a-"
Sonic tackled Shadow in midair and they plummeted to the ground like something out of Dragonball Z, Shadow still holding Sonic's precious equipment in his hand.
"Gimme gimme gimme!"
"Keep away, keep away!"
"Please?"
"Fine."
"Yay!"
Shadow Chaos-Controlled them back to his office. The Master adjusted his non-existent tie professionally, and continued as though nothing had happened.
"Using your new equipment, Sonic, you are to assassinate this man." He brought out an elaborate painting that in any other time would be considered a police photograph.
Sonic took the picture. "He looks like you."
"Hmph! He may bear a slight resemblance, but his fashion sense is simply horrible. Nothing compared to mine." Shadow stroked his cloak lovingly.
Sonic was all business. This meant that he was grinning like a madman and jumping up and down on the spot like a child at his birthday party. "Who is he and where is he?"
"His name is Mephiles, and he is a black market trader in Damascus. Remember that you must report to the Assassin's Bureau first before killing him, for gameplay reasons."
Sonic came back in. "I'm sorry, what?"
"Were you not listening?"
"Um, yes?"
"Oh. That's OK then. Now wait a moment while I contact the Bureau." The Master walked over to his birdcage, where a messenger pigeon resided. He opened the square foot cage, and brought out a demon at least 50 foot long.
"Whoa!"
"What? It's just Iblis, my beloved messenger pigeon." The Master stroked Iblis, whispering words in his ear. With a roar, Iblis took off, magically not breaking the panes in the remaining windows, and headed off to Damascus very inconspicuously.
Shadow turned back to Sonic. "OK. Now get lost, I need another 'meditation' period."
As Sonic walked under the window, another empty carton of Ribena hit him on the head.
Espio looked up from his notes as Sonic walked in. "Ah, you're here."
"Yep! So then, where's this guy?"
"Hey wait, first you have to do some meaningless and repetitive side missions before you can kill Mephiles!"
"What? Why?"
"Um… actually I don't really know. What the hell, go nuts."
"Yay!"
Sonic ran out, leaving Espio to shake his head at the incredible shortness of this scene.
The blue figure leapt along the rooftops, flitting around barriers and over streets like an assassin...
Oh yeah, he is an assassin.
So the blue figure, well, assassined his way to where he knew his target would be. A convenient radar had appeared in the bottom right of the screen, locating Mephiles the Dark in some sort of square.
Sonic arrived just in time to see the trader stab one of his lackeys repeatedly for failing him. Mephiles used a dark energy spike to kill the subordinate, and just left him there in the street. Sonic knew it was time to act; he had to stop this evil madman from slaughtering more innocent people!
The hedgehog tried to keep a straight face at the idea of noble intentions, but failed completely and collapsed with laughter, falling off his perch.
Everybody's gasps of surprise were drowned out by Sonic's insatiable giggling, but eventually, he did calm down. Standing up, he looked around for his target. Everyone was staring at him, but there was no sign of Mephiles.
What were they all staring at? Was there something on his face? Sonic rubbed his face and looked at his cloak, but no, there were no blackcurrant stains left over from the Masters 'meditation'. He had no idea what they were looking at.
"Haven't you seen a guy randomly falling from the sky before, laughing his ass off?" he scolded, glaring around at the crowd. His words seemed to break the spell, and the crowd screamed and fled.
Well that was odd. Sonic then suddenly found himself surrounded by guards, all pointing their swords at him. They growled menacingly in high-pitched voices.
"Chao chao chao!" said one.
"Chao chao! ChaochaochaochaoCHAO!" said another.
"What?"
They blinked. Sheathing their swords, they conversed among themselves. Many whispered 'chao's were heard, and they kept looking and pointing at Sonic, emphatically 'chao'ing their heads off.
Sonic was beginning to get bored. "I haven't got all day, guys."
The Chao turned, beaming. One of them came closer, simply flying in a neutral position. He and two other Chao's behind him raised their arms.
"Oh I love charades! Let's see, uh, three words... first word is..." the Chao pointed at him. "Me? Similar to... hmm, oh, you? You!" The Chao nodded.
"Right then, second word..." The main Chao simulated hanging himself with his tongue hanging out. "Umm... dead? Death? Hanging? Kill? Killing? Killed!" More nods and smiles.
"So it's you killed..." confirmed Sonic. Several happy 'chao's greeted his response.
"Final word then." All the Chao pointed at the ground Sonic was standing on. "Ah, right. Legs? Feet? Shoes? Ground, dirt, stones?" The Chao were shaking their heads. One of them even slapped his forehead. They pointed again at where Sonic was standing.
Sonic squinted at the floor. What could they mean? All he was standing on was the ground... oh wait, he was standing on something else...
The assassin looked in triumph at the Chao. "Mephiles!"
There was a silence. The Chao grinned. Then they drew their swords.
"Oh," said Sonic. "Fuck."
S: I had a lot of fun writing this chapter... really I did... if you can't tell, I'm feeling a bit down. But that's not going to stop me from writing!
...who am I kidding, yes it is...
Basically, my inspiration has gone on holiday. I got a postcard from it, saying it was glad I wasn't there. I am currently trying to track it down, but it has changed it's address and telephone number. I found it's mobile in a ditch after wasting millions hiring a satellite tracker, and it keeps sending cornflake wielding ninja's after me at three o clock in the morning.
Unless I manage to capture my inspiration again, this story goes on hold. I hope you care enough to leave a review, even if it's a flame. Goodbye, and thanks for getting this far into the story.