"Train wreck that I am
And I am what I am what I am what I am
A train wreck that I am
And I am what I am what I am what I am
A train wreck..."
-Colorado Sunrise by 3oh!3

Psychics probing around in my mind. People and Pokemon dead all around me. Getting blamed for everything.

Screaming matches with my Pokemon as they physically fought me to get the bulletproof vest off of me. Sobbing together with Cossette when Jacques finally woke up. Trying to keep up appearances only for Arianna to tear them all down for me. Attending more funerals. Facing down more followers. Ignoring Who and trying to get the Xatu away. Dealing with Konstantin and Ike. Trying to take care of Zarek and the Pidgey chicks. Trying to keep things from breaking into even tinier pieces.

One day, I couldn't keep them from breaking into those tiny, itty bitty pieces. And everything fell apart.

I dropped everything I'd been doing and ran out of the Gym. I couldn't take it anymore. I didn't take anything with me, not Pokemon or person or supply or money. I simply ran for it. I had to get away from them all, I had to try to do... something. I didn't know. I never knew.

It was easy to lose Konstantin, harder to lose Ike. Once I was free, however, the psychics came. The Xatu all but tackled me manically, but Who threw it back with a Psychic and tried to pull me towards him. Jacques made a cursory attempt at getting in between, but his powers were crippled and he didn't know what the situation was. I didn't blame him. I hadn't stopped Cossette's tragedy; he shouldn't have to stop mine.

After getting caught in the middle of a Teleport tug-of-war, I threw my support to Who with an all but sobbed, "Take me to Nick!"

And then it was quiet. I was in a cave—no, not a cave. Some area lit with a soft, firelight glow. It made everything orange and red and blurred. Chase offered a growl as I peeled myself away from the Hypno and sprinted towards the only humanoid figure amongst the menagerie. He half-turned by the time I reached him and started tearing at his hood and hair and shirt and anything I could reach. His Pokemon, obviously not expecting our reunion to turn so violent so fast, were slow to restrain me.

"Fix it!" I shrieked at him, fighting tooth and nail against Chase's wings to get back at Nick. My ex best friend stared at me, mouth slack and blood running down his jaw from a scratch, at a loss for what to say or do. "Fix it, Nick! Fix what you've done to Sinnoh—to me! Fix it fix it fix it fix it!"

"I can't."

He never could. I couldn't. The question was who could.