Clarke was on her way to Woods Enterprises. She had received an email from Lexa telling her she was needed for an important meeting. Lexa needed her translator. Clarke had accepted and thought about what new lies she would tell Lexa. She had had two days to think about it.
She was out of breath when she entered Lexa's office. The brunette saw how tired Clarke was and apolized ''I'm sorry for making you come all this way. I really need you on this.''
''It's okay.'' Clarke replied once her breathing was back to normal. ''What are we up to ?''
Lexa smiled. Clarke had said we and that little word was enough to make her day. She looked down at Clarke's belly and noted ''Eight months or so ?''
''And a half.'' Clarke pointed out.
''Time goes so fast.'' Lexa answered, thinking about the fact that she had missed having Clarke here. She had never been so addicted to anyone. Until Clarke appeared in her office.
''So ?'' Clarke interrupted the brunette's thoughts. ''This meeting ?''
''Right.'' Lexa had almost forgotten about it. Clarke had that power on her. ''It starts in half an hour. In the meeting room.''
Clarke nodded. Lexa stared at her for a moment. She was about to say something when the door burst open. A man entered
''This list still hasn't been taken care of.'' he said to Lexa.
Lexa sighed, knowing what he was talking about. Clarke raised an eyebrow.
''This is not in the company's policy anymore, Titus. You have to stop with those lists.''
But the man wasn't done. He didn't pay attention to Clarke. The blonde didn't even know if he had noticed her. He approached Lexa's desk when the brunette had sat back and threw the papers he was holding on it.
''This month, no less than eighty-seven employees have been found out. They have admitted THEMSELVES being here illegally.''
Clarke froze. He wasn't talking about...
''I am not my father, Titus.'' Lexa said calmly yet coldly. ''I do not send people away. Most of them are doing a good job here. They deserve to be given a chance.''
''There are people from your own country looking for a job !'' Titus yelled. ''And you give jobs away to immigrants !''
''They are people too.'' Lexa stated.
''THERE ARE ILLEGAL IMMIGRANTS !''
''ENOUGH !'' Lexa shouted. ''We will discuss this later. If you do anything against my employees by then you will join them on whatever plane you'd like to put them.''
Titus was clearly mad but he wasn't the boss. He left, outraged.
Clarke swallowed hard. Now she knew Lexa was not like her father. But she also knew that Lexa was hardly handling this matter. Lexa could not possibly know the truth about her.
It would put Lexa in a position she didn't deserve. Because Clarke had just discovered Lexa was fighting for her kind.
''I'm sorry for this... interruption.'' Lexa apologized. ''If you could keep this for yourself, it's not something that can be known.''
''Don't worry. I won't say anything.'' Clarke reassured her.
Indeed, she wasn't going to say anything. Not about her boss' fight with one of her closest employees. Not about her situation.
After the meeting, Lexa approached Clarke to tell her one last thing before the blonde's departure. ''Don't forget to call me if you need anything.''
Clarke nodded and left.
She was still shaken by what she had heard today in Lexa's office. It was a miracle she hadn't been found out yet.
She went back to her car. She was exhausted. She couldn't eat nor drink anything. She just needed to stop thinking. So she fell asleep.
Two days without being able to get those informations out of her head. She was still hearing Titus yelling about doing something against the illegal immigrants working at Woods Enterprises.
And Lexa. Clarke could still hear Lexa standing up for them. But Titus seemed filled with indignation. It seemed likely he was not going to let this go. And now Clarke was even more freaked out than she was before.
So she had slept for most of the last two days. Sleeping was the only way of getting out of her thoughts. But she had some nightmares and woke up sweating on the back seat of her car.
If only it had just been the nightmares. Clarke's belly hurt. And this morning, her waters broke.
She was stuck in her car, not being able to move. To go where, anyway ? She couldn't go to the hospital, they'd ask her her ID.
She was laying on one of her two blankets. It was wet because of all the amniotic fluid that had spilled on it. Clarke moaned as a new wave of pain was tearing her body. She couldn't move. She had to wait until it happened. It's already happening, she panicked.
It's too soon, but she was a bit more than eight and a half months pregnant. She should have expected the birth. But she couldn't think of it and now it was happening she was freaked out at the idea of becoming a mother. What was she going to do with a baby ?
She screamed. She was sweating a lot and her head was spinning. But she couldn't pass out. Not now. She had to help her baby out or it would die.
It. She had thought so much of her baby as a it that she didn't even consider the fact that she was going to have a son or a daughter. Not mine. She screamed again. If she still hadn't accepted her pregnancy, the pain was real enough for her to consider it as hers.
She was holding on to the front seat with her left hand, her grip tightening every time she felt another contraction. She had been in labor for hours. She didn't know what time it was but the sky had darkened and she could barely see in her car. Parked near the beach, there was only the moonlight to help her through it.
Clarke was so exhausted she had almost fallen asleep. She was fighting to stay awake. She was trying to handle pain. After all she had been through, she couldn't give up now.
She screamed as she felt her baby starting to leave her body. A few more efforts and it would be out. Her face was covered in sweat and tears. She didn't have much strength left so she used it to lift up a bit to put her hands on the tiny chest between her legs. One last push and the baby's legs were out.
Clarke had it in front of her, holding it with both of her hands. Him.
I have a son. She laid back. She carefully put him onto her chest. He was crying. She grabbed her second blanket and put it onto them, leaving enough space for her son to breathe. She burst out in tears. I have a son. As soon as she had seen him, he was no longer Finn's baby. He was hers. Her baby. Her son. She had a hand on his back covered by the blanket. Her head fell on its side. She was too tired. Her baby was out. She let sleep take her.
Cries. Baby cries. Her son's cries. She raised her head as she opened her eyes. It was still dark outside. The newborn boy was crying, probably craving for food. Clarke understood. Her breasts hadn't been hurting for so long for her not to use their milk. She lifted up, moaning in pain, to be in a sitted position. She held her baby carefully and took off her shirt with her other hand. She did the same for her bra. Her baby started sucking, his tiny right hand scratching her skin.
Clarke couldn't keep the tears from coming out again. She was a mother. The baby she was holding was a proof of it, so real that it hurt her. But now she had him against her, she didn't regret having him. The first time she saw him, she felt so much love bonding them. He was her son and she knew she had to protect him. But there she was, alone in her car. If her body hadn't produced milk, her son would be starving.
She had to wait one day before being able to get up. Her body hurt like hell and her car smelled so bad she would've thrown up if she hadn't gotten used to it. She managed to get out of her car to join the front seat. She laid her son on her lap, holding him with a hand. Alright. She sighed. She had to do this.
She drove with one hand and joined the town's mall. She grabbed what was left of her money from the trunk. She had to leave her son in her car, he was sleeping, wrapped up in the second blanket.
She bought a baby seat to put into her car, some baby clothes and diapers. The clothes were very small because her baby was. He seemed no heavier than five pounds. She hurried. Most of people had looked at her with curiosity because she was dirty and didn't smell very good. But she didn't care. Her son was waiting for her in her car.
She opened the door and took the baby to put him in his new seat. She got back to her usual spot near the beach. She took a bottle of water and used the sheet that was covering her son to clean him up a bit. She put the wet blanket on the front passenger seat to let it dry and put him inside a white baby bodysuit after placing a big diaper. She had bought a dozen bodysuits. She knew he was going to grow up fast but she wanted him to be clean and comfortable.
She fed him and held him against her for a while, laying a finger on his tiny cheek. He didn't open his eyes much. He only slept and cried when he was hungry. You're so beautiful. She was amazed. He was so small. So fragile. Yet he had so much power on her. Clarke had to care now because she had a little boy to look after.
He needs a name. At least a first one.
She couldn't give him an actual name. To the state he would always be no one, but she could at least name him. So she wouldn't say 'him' or 'you' all the time. She thought of it for a while. He barely moved, too sleepy. And then it occured to her. Aden. Her father's second first name.
Welcome to this world, Aden. She looked around for a few seconds and her smile faded away. It wasn't a home. This was the best she could offer her son. And shame came back to hit her.
Clarke should be giving birth soon now, Lexa thought.
Her employee was supposed to be nine months and a week pregnant. But she didn't give any news, so she was probably still pregnant. Lexa hoped it was it. She had sent a couple emails to Clarke which had remained unanswered since she had sent the first one three weeks ago.
I'm sure she's fine. No, she wasn't sure at all. She worried so much about Clarke that she had decided to pay her a visit. She looked into Clarke's file and wrote the new – supposedly right – address and left the skyscraper she was working at. She had hesitated long enough. She needed to see her, no matter what the blonde would think of her coming to the apartment unannounced.
She parked her car in front of the brown building. She had once brought Clarke back here.
She looked at the numbers at the front door. She didn't know which one would ring Clarke's bell, so she waited for someone to come and open the door. She entered the building and went upstairs. Floor 1. Apartment 9A. She exhaled deeply, anxious, and rang the bell.
A man opened the door and glared at Lexa. Alcohol was the only smell coming out of the apartment. Lexa's heart started beating faster. ''Is Clarke here ?'' she asked.
She was trying not to jump to conclusions.
''There's no Clarke around here.'' the man said before shutting the door.
Lexa's hope flew away. She leaned against the wall, breathless. She lied again.
And worry hit her. If Clarke had lied, she was probably still in the streets. Lexa didn't believe Clarke had an apartment somewhere in town. She wouldn't have lied about her address if she had one, there was no reason to do that.
She got back to her, hitting the wheel with both of her hands. She wasn't just angry at Clarke for lying to her. Clarke seemed to have her reasons. She was angry for not discovering it earlier. Clarke was about to give birth – if she hadn't done it yet – and was probably alone somewhere.
Please, tell me you chose the hospital.
Lexa was helpless again. How could she find Clarke ? The young woman could be anywhere.
Aden was five weeks old. Clarke had tried working on files at the cyber café but she was kicked out before she could even send one file back. A crying baby in a café was apparently not appreciated. She hadn't sent any reviewed file for a month and couldn't get any more money. The last time she went to the company's bank to get paid in cash, she was told her supervisor had ordered to stop paying Clarke until she worked again.
Lexa was probably not aware of it because she was the one who had offered Clarke the possibility to work at home. But Clarke couldn't use any computer, so she couldn't work anymore.
She had just fed Aden. She was cuddling him.
''Don't grow too fast, baby, alright ?'' she whispered.
She had no more money and she had spent the rest of it on clothes and diapers. But this was a week ago and now she was trying to change diapers only once a day, because the day would come she wouldn't have any diaper left. Aden often cried because of his dirty diaper and Clarke had no choice but to let him cry. Hearing a baby cry was a thing, but hearing your baby cry for a good reason was something else. And her hunger didn't help her. She had eaten what was left of her snacks three days ago and was holding on with water. She kept reminding herself that her son was fed and had clean clothes.
She couldn't say the same thing about herself. She had used all of her money to buy what her son needed and was still wearing her pregnancy clothes. They were too big for her but at least she wasn't naked.
She fell asleep sitting on the back seat again. She was leaning against the door. She didn't have room to lie down, her son's seat was big. But he mattered more than she did. He was the only thing that kept her going. She had been so tired lately, and hungry, and she was living each day without thinking too much about the next one. She had bought what her son needed for now but she didn't know how it would go in one month, or two, or even a year. She'd rather not think about it.
She opened her eyes, frowning. It was dark outside. Aden was crying. She took him out of his seat and held him close. He was probably hungry. He woke up at least twice each night. Clarke took her long shirt off to feed him. Aden ate but he kept crying afterward. It took Clarke half an hour to figure out why her son had been crying for so long.
He's cold. Spring was cool, that's why Clarke had put her only blanket around Aden's tiny body, but apparently it wasn't enough. This night was colder than the last one, Clarke felt it a bit too well. She had to throw away the sheet she had given birth on because she failed cleaning it and it was ruined.
She leaned back as much as she could and laid Aden on her naked chest, covering them both with the blanket. She laid a hand on his back and tried to soothe him.
''It's okay, baby, you're okay...'' she tried to say but her voice broke.
Her son's little hand was scratching her breast as if he was trying to hold on to her. Aden was only a month old and he was already suffering. What will Clarke do when her breasts wouldn't provide any more milk ? I won't even be able to feed him.
Minute after minute, Aden's cries didn't seem to stop. Clarke tried to cuddle him but it wasn't enough.
''Come on Aden, stop crying.'' Her eyes filled with tears as she thought about everything she should've done for him and couldn't. Her heart broke when she realized Aden wasn't going to make it this way. ''Please, honey, stop crying...'' he didn't, and she started crying, her cries joining her son's.
She held him closer. She was no one. Because of her, Aden was no one too. She had to give him a better life. One she could never give him herself.
Clarke laid Aden back into his seat and covered him with the blanket. She put her shirt back on and climbed onto the front seat. She looked into the glove compartment. She found what she wanted. Lexa's paper. It was a personal one and there was even her address on it.
Clarke looked back at her son. ''I'm sorry Aden. I'm so sorry you have to go through this. But I'm gonna make things right for you, okay ? You're gonna have a good life.''
She bit her lip to avoid moaning. Pain was crushing her. But she had to do it.
And there she was, in the middle of the night, on Lexa's doorstep. Aden was wrapped into the blanket, Clarke could only see his little face. His eyes were open. So blue. He didn't close them. He was staring at Clarke as if he was understanding what was going on. But he was so young. Too young. Clarke had to give him a chance even if it meant breaking her own heart.
She slowly kissed him on his forehead, staying longer to enjoy his touch one last time.
She raised her head and carefully laid him on the ground.
''I'm sorry Aden,'' she whispered ''but you can't be no one's son.''
She took her hand off of him and rang the doorbell several times. She heard someone moving inside and she took off, not even waiting to make sure the door had opened. She couldn't wait. She couldn't be seen.
She went back into her car and left.
Clarke gave birth alone and barely survived. She's exhausted, hungry, and she just gave up on the only one who kept her going : her son.
Will she make it now she's alone without any money in her condition ?
One thing is sure : she's definitely not out of the woods. ;)
So, did you like this chapter ? Things aren't getting any easier for our girls, but it will in a few chapters (it has to someday, right ?)