Heavy Lies The Crown: Chapter 10
by Starrify
It pulls me awake from a bad dream.
I don't know why, but I know I'm not ever coming back.
In the dark, we can lose our sleep; we can both be kind.
"Lord Djibiril," Stellar drawled disinterestedly, sitting high on her throne like she was taught since she was a little girl. "Do you accept Plant's offer, then?"
The man standing on her right side crumbled the parchment of paper in his hand. It was a letter from the king of Plant himself, congratulating the young princess Cagalli Yula Athha and asking for her permission for his only son, the crown prince of Plant, to be able to witness her coronation and to see if there was anything—anything at all, the letter had said—that Orb needed in order to quickly recover from whatever damages there have been in the last five years.
"Oh, but that is your call to make now, Princess," Djibiril grit through his teeth. His plan would not go as smoothly if delegates from Plant would be in Orb, and if the Alliance also decided to send out their own representatives as well, then it'd all be much more complicated. "Would you like to invite the Prince?"
"Certainly," Stellar gave a big smile—which wasn't rare in itself, but Djibiril was more used to the menacing side of her. "He could genuinely help with Orb, I believe."
"And it is your intention now to help this wretched kingdom?" Djibiril glared at the young girl. "Let me remind you, Stellar, of what your place is. I saved you when you were younger, when all of the Alliance wanted to rid the kingdom of those directly related to the late King Azrael. To the people of the Alliance, you are no longer alive. But here you are, doing well enough—because of me."
"If they had known that you were his brother, Uncle, then they would have been out for your head, too."
"I bear not the name of the house of Azrael; no one knew so I was safe from scrutiny."
"A poor bastard child of grandpapa—"
A slap on her soft cheek stopped any other words from spilling out of her thin lips.
"I will remind you now, Stellar," Djibiril spoke harshly, not regretting hitting his niece at all. The two knights standing at the base of the stairs to the throne, didn't move at all as they were under the orders of Djibiril himself. "I am not the enemy. I did not kill your father; King Patrick Zala of Plant did. And you are very much willing to invite his son to this castle? With the stupid decisions you are making, Stellar, you're going to die."
You're going to die.
Memories of a dark room flooded Stellar's mind. A dark room—her room, her laying on her bed, a tall man with a knife between his hands, posed to stab at her heart. You're going to die.
"I'm not going to die," she cried, sinking further into the cushions of her throne. "I'm not going to die."
Djibiril stepped closer and stooped to face the small figure. He handed her a small knife with a carved wooden handle and a few precious stones fit into the troughs. "Not if you can protect yourself. Without me, you cannot."
Meanwhile, Yuna stood quietly at the left side of the throne. Stellar and Djibiril were both insane, he knew, but seeing the blonde girl switch back and forth from being overly happy to dangerously threatening was confusing him more and more and made him feel as though he was soon also going to fall into the path of being deluded.
"Let us go now, Yuna," Djibiril was now standing in front of him, his ice blue eyes staring blankly into his. "We have a letter to write to the beloved King Patrick."
Later, when Yuna returned to the throne room, the same guards were still in the room. Except, they were both dead with multiple stabs around their torso—their chain mail not even holding a fight against the madness in the mind of a young girl.
"Refugees have been returning since we got the message from Todaka," Kisaka said as they ate supper. Cagalli trained the whole day with Mu and Kira, and they had eaten immediately after they took their respective baths. "That was two weeks ago. Since then, at least half of the population of the Orb refugees has returned."
"The government of Plant aids them with the returning," Erica further discussed, biting off a piece of bread. "I think they're quite eager to have the aliens return."
They all looked to Cagalli, who sat quietly at the center of the table. She had been quieter lately, often too busy with her thoughts and her own internal struggles to voice out her own opinions, especially during mealtimes when those left at the safe house gathered. It was only them there anyway—Cagalli, Kisaka, Erica, Mu, Murrue, Sahib, Asagi and the girls, and a few of Sahib's men. Everyone else had left already using makeshift carriages from the wood they got from cut-down trees. Cagalli had wanted to come with the others; to leave and return to Orb as soon as possible, but Kisaka hadn't allowed her to because she couldn't beat Kira in a simple sparring session.
"Well, who could even beat Kira? He's probably worth at least fifty soldiers out there!" she had argued, stomping her mud-ridden feet on the ground like a child.
Kisaka shook his head disapprovingly at the nth tantrum she was throwing that day. "And you're worth much more. You know that."
She had trudged up to her room and cleaned herself up with a bath, skipped dinner, and lied down on her bed. Then she thought to herself, How could I be worth more? A life is a life regardless of who possesses it.
After that day, she spent a week and a half training until she was strong enough to put up a fight against Kira and Mu. There were so many broken wooden swords that they eventually used as firewood. Not so deep inside, Cagalli was proud that at least two of those were used by Mu and broken by her. She had also gotten better with her archery with Murrue teaching her how to aim properly. Everyone tried to teach her what they knew. Erica helped her ride horseback more comfortably; Sahib taught her how to tend to wounds properly. Kisaka, especially, never forgot to give her lectures about the history of Orb, the history of things she already knew but apparently still didn't know enough about.
"History doesn't repeat itself," Kisaka had concluded after closing a book in his hand. "Nothing is ever the same—events that happened before are composed of different people of different circumstances. No war is ever the same."
But still. Cagalli retorted in her head, hours after her learning session. Loss is loss.
"Cagalli?" a voice called out to her, bringing her out of her reverie. She looked up from her plate and saw her twin looking at her blankly—and yet, in a way, endearingly. "Do you think you're ready to leave now?"
"What?" she muttered almost unintelligently, not expecting the question at all. "Of course I think I'm ready! But you guys still don't believe that I'm strong enough to protect myself."
Kira sighed, slicing his knife through the small piece of meat. "As much as possible, I wish that it wouldn't ever come to you having to defend yourself. We'll all try to protect you to the best of our abilities."
I'll protect you. A familiar voice echoed from the back of her mind, and she briefly shut her eyes in an attempt to forget the sight of green eyes and the feeling of soft lips, to forget the name of a prince that she couldn't ever be with.
"Cagalli?" This time, it was Erica who spoke with a concerned frown. "Maybe you're too tired to eat. But you had skipped last night's dinner as well, so I don't think that you should miss out on this meal, too."
"I'm fine," Cagalli answered, straightening her back against the chair. "Really, I'm just thinking."
What no one else knew was that she was having more vivid dreams of her mother. Sometimes, she would see Queen Via at functions, regal balls—things that her childhood was full of: puffy dresses, glass flutes filled to the brim with red wine, music from stringed instruments, formal dancing, everything. Sometimes, Via would be twirled into the arms of Uzumi, and Cagalli never saw her father younger and happier.
Sometimes, there was a man with blond hair like hers. He was a doctor, and when he spoke to her mother, it was in hushed tones—tones that Cagalli shouldn't recognize, but that was the same way Athrun spoke to her, so she knew. Her mother was falling in love with a stranger to Cagalli's life. Via was falling in love with Cagalli's father—but not her father.
Those nights, she would wake up alone and more confused as to why she was getting these kinds of visions. She wanted to put the blame on Haumea—the goddess people said who was on her side, blessing and guiding her—but she couldn't bring herself to fault the goddess who might have been the only reason she's alive now.
"She's thinking now, but when I teach her some bits of history, nothing gets past her," Kisaka chuckled, taking a big gulp from his glass of water. "But your thoughts aside, Princess, we've all decided that you're ready."
Cagalli stopped thinking entirely. "I'll get to go back home?"
"We will all get to go home, but more importantly, we will all fight for what we believe is right—we'll fight for you."
She wasn't sure as to what to say since all of them had stood from their seats and bowed to her. She was caught off-guard by their sudden act of respect—to her, of all people. Sometimes, she still couldn't grasp that she was supposed to be a queen, to be the queen; sometimes that was all she could think about.
"Please," her voice was somewhat muted, yet strong regardless. "I don't wish for any of you to be so formal with me. I've told you all before."
Kira was the last to rise among them and when their eyes locked, her resolve faltered ever so slightly.
"Tomorrow, we will depart after noon." Kisaka sat back down on his chair; the others briefly followed suit. "We will leave along with other refugees coming from Plant and as well as the representatives to be sent by their supreme council. According to Andrew, the prince himself is going to Orb."
Cagalli's eyes never left Kira's; with the new knowledge that the prince of Plant was going to be with them tomorrow, Kira's purple eyes had a dangerous spark in them.
"Andrew and Aisha will bring out two carriages here for us and we'll be among the other civilian carriages for additional safety. They already forged paperwork for each of us, so passage into Orb shouldn't be too difficult." Cagalli averted her eyes from Kira's stare and instead she looked to Kisaka. Kisaka coughed once. "I'm not quite sure what name they used for you, Princess, since you can't really go around entering Orb with Athha attached to your name."
She nodded understandingly. "Of course. Is that all I need to know before I retire for my bed?"
"I will be dying your hair tomorrow morning with Aisha's powder," Murrue spoke up, gently placing her fork at the side of her plate. "We can't risk any refugees from Plant recognizing you."
"It's okay," Cagalli answered dully, rising from her seat. "If you will all excuse me, I will be going up to my room now."
That night, she hardly slept. And if ever she did fall asleep, all she saw was the sight of her father sitting on his throne as the rest of the world burned around him.
Sunlight was seeping into her windows when Cagalli woke up. After sitting up on her bed and stretching her arms toward the sky, a soft knock resounded from the door and it swung open, revealing an already-dressed Murrue holding a box which contained the powder dye.
"Good morning, Your Highness," Murrue greeted cheerfully. "Since you're already awake, let's break our fast before we try dying your hair. Is that alright?"
"Yes, that would be a good plan," Cagalli yawned, kicked off her blankets, and grounded her feet on the wooden floor. "I'll be at the table presently."
"I'll tell Juri to start your bath as soon as possible, then." Murrue gave her a small smile and closed the door behind her as she walked back out.
They were going to leave in a few hours. In a few hours, she was going to be back in Orb. She would be able to smell the sea and hear the waves crashing onto the giant rocks. She would be able to see the most beautiful sunset in the world, the same sunset she saw with her father countless times. She would run around the old town square freely, not caring for her own safety because the people of Orb loved her dearly; would protect her with their own lives if it came to it.
Would they still do so for a coward of a princess?
She walked slowly down, keeping herself light on her feet. There was something different about the aura of the safe house, something that made it feel more festive. Was it really the fact that everyone would be going back to Orb?
"Good morning, Cagalli," Kira said, giving her a small smile.
"Good morning to you, too, Kira."
"It'll take us a few days to reach Orb if we'll be travelling at the same pace as a normal carriage would," he told her as he took out her seat from the table. "Aisha and Andrew will be supplying us two carriages and we will meet them on the trade route, a good distance from the sight of the watch guards of the Plant kingdom."
"And what are we supposed to take along with us?"
"Everything we have here. Kisaka and the others built this safe house out of trees they felled. Those belong to the forest and as such this house will return to the forest."
"You mean to be burned to the ground," Cagalli said. "Like how we burned the dead at the sea back in Orb."
The other adults took their respective seats around the table and consumed their food as fast as they could, not even bothering to spare Cagalli a word. But she understood; they were all busy preparing to leave, and they also had to salvage everything they owned before they burned the safe house down.
"Princess, if you're done throwing your bread back and forth on your plate, then we should head on up and begin dying your hair."
Cagalli looked up and embarrassedly set aside her fork. She nodded dumbly, staring at Murrue's half-stern half-amused face as though she was staring into space.
"Oh, right." Cagalli stood from her seat, and so did everyone else stood—out of respect for their supposed Queen. She could only give a small lopsided grin. "How long till we leave?"
"Around two hours from now, Princess," Kisaka supplied.
Two hours. And then around three days till I get back to Orb.
As Murrue began to lather her hair with a powder that smelled an awful lot like tea, Cagalli couldn't help but think that while she would be finally home, she'll be farther than ever from the new home she found in the lean arms of a blue-haired prince.
"Um, Your Highness, Sir—"
"Shinn, you can just call me Athrun. I've told you that before."
"Oh, I've forgotten." Shinn scratched the back of his head awkwardly; questioning ruby eyes looking at kind emerald ones. "Well, Athrun, are you quite okay with me being in the same carriage as you? I could rise on a horse instead like the others—"
"Shinn." Athrun stretched out the band of his glove and leaned back on the cushion of his wide seat. "Just relax. The ones outside—while they are my friends—are also soldiers of Zaft. Their duty is to be my official escorts, but of course, calling this trip to Orb a small vacation wouldn't be so bad either."
The younger black-haired man decided to follow suit, and after a curt nod of acknowledgement to what the Prince had said, leaned back into his own seat. He had never known such luxury—not in Orb and most certainly not in Plant. He figured that the overall cost of making this carriage was more than the cost of all the houses on the street he lived in in Februarius, what with the carriage being studded with different precious stones.
To be in a carriage like this with a prince of a kingdom—well, Shinn certainly never expected for it to happen. And to have been given a kindness such as a chance to go home to Orb… Shinn owed the Prince so much. Definitely, he was in his debt. But there was also the fact that he was still slightly suspicious of Athrun's motives with Cagalli.
Then again, what else would a prince want with a princess?
"How do you want to pass the time, Shinn?" Athrun asked him.
"Well," he answered unsurely. "You can tell me about this trip? This is only my second time on the trade route. And while you're at it, you can also tell me of this area."
Athrun blinked. "You mean you really don't know of the trade route?"
Shinn just shook his head.
"Okay then." Athrun stood up straight, thinking of where to start. "There around a hundred other refugees travelling with us right now. Captain Waldfelt and his wife are at the front—I think they went out early to clear the road, so we'll meet them somewhere along the trade route sometime later."
"Who is Captain Waltfeld?"
"An admirable man who's been in Zaft's service for around two decades now. He was the one who taught me how to fight with a sword."
"Oh."
"Who taught you how to use a sword, Shinn?"
Shinn scratched his head again and gave an awkward smile. "My father, when I was young, gifted me with wooden swords. He taught me how to swing and hit."
"I see." Athrun nodded, wondering if bringing Shinn along would be for naught if his family was no longer in Orb. "The trade route is… well, it is the route travelled by merchants. To our right is the mountain range; beyond that is a desert."
"Where most of the fighting between the Alliance and Plant happened," Shinn remarked.
"Yes." Athrun felt his heart constrict at the memory of his mother. "To our left if the forest known for its cautionary tales of fairies and ghosts and—I'm not quite sure; they say it's just haunted by spirits."
Or haunted by memories of a feisty blonde who turned out to be an exiled princess.
"Oh, I almost forgot about those."
"About what?"
"In Orb, my mother told me those kinds of stories. Housewives' tales, my father called them. But my mother insisted that they were true, and that I shouldn't ever step foot in the forest or else the fairies would steal me away."
Shinn gave a small chuckle. "Thinking about it now, I should have appreciated all those moments with my family…"
"Of course." Athrun replied deftly, smiling at the younger boy. "Family first is supposed to be one of the tenets of our house."
"Forgive me, Prince Athrun!" Shinn bowed from his waist, embarrassed for himself. "I didn't mean to offend you by what I said—"
Athrun shook his head and reached for Shinn's shoulder to help him sit back up. "No, Shinn. It's fine. My mother may be gone, but what is important is that I treasure her memory—which my father may not be able to do as he seems to have pushed aside all his memories of her. You are honoring your parents by remembering them. You'll see them in Orb soon, I am sure."
Shinn frowned. "I hope so, too."
"At full speed, you can get to Orb in a day—but that's if you have a mechanical horse that doesn't easily tire," Erica said excitedly about horses. "And since the Alliance is farther up beyond Orb, then it will take the same horse a total of three days to get from Plant to the Alliance."
"That is…" Murrue struggled to say; Cagalli struggled to hold in her laugh. "Quite the interesting fact, Erica."
"How long till the carriages from Plant arrive?" Cagalli asked nervously. What she wanted to ask was how long till Athrun arrives?
"In a few minutes, I think." Aisha answered while leaning on the door of the carriage. The ends of her blue and orange dress moved with the wind, and Cagalli really couldn't help but find her inspiring with her beauty and grace. The three older women with her were all inspiring in their own way. "I must say, Your Highness, you really do look like your mother now. Your golden hair is beautiful, but brown suits you just as well."
Cagalli smiled. "I never really resembled my father, so I must look like my mother somehow."
Aisha smiled back at her. "Oh, Princess Cagalli, I can't wait to see you in more regal clothes. I can just imagine you in a long gown! Light green would befit you, I'm sure."
"They're here!" Andrew yelled from half a mile away. He was now on his horse and riding back to the two carriages. When he got to Cagalli's carriage, he stopped. "Now, Princess, if anyone asks—"
She groaned irritably. "Yes, I know, I know. My name is Yula La Flaga, second cousin twice removed of Mu La Flaga—gross—and I'm only fifteen years old. I was born in Junius but given away for adoption and was raised in Februarius by a kind old lady who owned a bakery. When that lady—I mean, my mother—when she died, Mu became my legal guardian. Did I get that right?"
"Perfect." Andrew gave her a small wink. "Let's go, Aisha."
Cagalli looked at the navy-haired woman. "You mean you're not going to be riding with us in the carriage?"
Aisha, like Andrew, winked at her as she walked off. "And let the boys have all the fun riding on the horses? I don't think so." She held the reigns of Kira's horse as he jumped off and entered Cagalli's carriage.
"Hey," Kira said ever so childishly. "If you ladies don't mind, I'll be sitting with you."
Is Kira hiding? Cagalli thought, wondering if his riding in a carriage instead of a horse had anything to do with Athrun. Now that she thought about it, Kira said that he was a member of the army—of course Athrun would know his subordinate. Or perhaps whoever the Prince had with him as escorts would recognize him.
"Not at all, Kira," Murrue replied for them with a bright smile.
They spent the rest of the day reminiscing, talking about the things they missed in Orb and would be glad to see again.
"Ryuta must be with his father right now," Erica said—she had told her son to go on with the other refugees while she stayed behind in the safe house. "Even if we no longer have control of Morgenroete, as long as they're both safe, I'll be happy."
But Cagalli couldn't bear the thought of being content with just going back home. There would be no proper home for her to go to—not when there was an impostor on her rightful throne. Especially not when her whole kingdom was going to be under the threat of a new war.
Eventually, the ladies took a nap, tired from exchanging stories and theories of what happened to who or if this person was still alive. Kira stayed awake so that he'd be alert in case they needed him outside. After a few hours, the carriage stopped and woke everyone in the carriage. There was a knock on the carriage door and Aisha's smiling face appeared in the quarter light.
"We're stopping here before it gets too dark to set up camp," she explained, leaning onto the carriage. Kira scrambled out, looking out at his surroundings before putting up the hood of his coat. "From here, it should take us another day and a half to get to Orb."
Erica turned to face Kira. "You're going to man up and help set up tents."
"No," Cagalli objected deftly, exiting the carriage. "There are soldiers from Plant with us—they might recognize Kira. I'll help."
Aisha looked at Erica and Murrue; the latter just shrugged and Aisha sighed afterwards, knowing that they couldn't really convince Cagalli to stay back and let other people do the work.
"I don't think anyone would recognize me," Cagalli huffed, crossing her arms in front of her chest. "Come on; I thought that was the point of changing the color of my hair!"
"Alright." Aisha ruffled Cagalli's hair. "They're setting up camp over there and they need people to go into the forest to collect some firewood."
Cagalli's eyes almost gleamed at the mention of the forest she knew well. "The best firewood is somewhere in the middle. If you let me take a horse, I can collect a fair share of wood."
Kira frowned. Whenever Cagalli mentioned things about the forest which showed just how well she knew the area, it just stressed how much time she spent by herself, surviving on what little she knew of nature. "I'll come with you."
"How about no?" Cagalli rolled her eyes irritably. "I want to go alone. I'm not going to run off this time, I swear."
Erica coughed, stepping out of the carriage. "At least bring a lamp with you."
"Actually…" Cagalli drifted off about how they were near the middle of the trade route and that she lived in an abandoned den somewhere in the heart of the forest. There were some things she was able to steal from passing carriages like books and clothes and a few toys.
"I'll only take with me the things of value! And I will collect firewood there. I was also able to steal a lamp before which should still be working, so you guys should just keep your lamp here in case anyone else needs it." Cagalli ended with a sly smile, obviously confident with her plan. "I don't want any of you to go because I want to say goodbye to the forest in my own way. I'm sorry if it sounds selfish of me."
"No, Princess," Murrue replied. "We understand. If it's in the heart of the forest, you should head out now before it gets too dark to navigate even with a lamp."
Cagalli's smile became even wider. "Thank you! I'll be back in an hour."
Kira was still frowning even after Cagalli had left on Kusanagi's back.
"Hey." Erica put a hand on Kira's shoulder. "Cagalli did have a point there, with you being recognizable by those in Zaft. Why don't you take this chance to rest? You can keep guard later tonight, if that makes you think you're more useful."
"Thanks," Kira cried in exasperation, heading back into the carriage. Still, he couldn't shake the feeling that Cagalli was doing something wrong by going back into the forest.
Athrun stepped out of his carriage and stretched his arm towards the sky. Yawning, he put a gloved hand over his mouth and looked around him; he frowned once his eyes landed on his escorts.
"Still haven't had enough of your beauty sleep?" Dearka teased running a hand through his blond hair coolly. "Oh, Princess Athrun! You should stay in your carriage lest the sunset damages your cheeks!"
Yzak let out a loud laugh. "Precious Zala's still too good to ride on horseback, it seems."
"Guys, cut it out," Nicol cried, defending Athrun. "The King ordered us to make sure Athrun would stay inside his carriage and not ride out on the trade route."
Shiho remained as silent as ever.
"You are all terrible," Athrun commented, massaging his temples at a new migraine forming due to hearing Yzak Joule laugh. "Since we stopped, I am assuming that we are going to make camp here?"
"Would you prefer being in the forest?" Yzak scoffed. "If Mother were here, then she'd definitely bring up all those stories again."
Athrun beckoned for Shinn to exit the carriage as well. "Then thank the gods that Lady Joule isn't here."
Before Yzak could retaliate with words, Andrew Waltfeldt appeared before them. The four escorts stood in a line and saluted to the captain.
"Now I wish they would give me half of that respect." Athrun walked to Andrew's side while the latter was still inspecting each of the young soldiers' salutes. "But Yzak would rather let Shiho dress him up than acknowledge that I have a higher formal ranking than him."
Yzak wasn't looking at Athrun, but the Prince could already tell that Yzak was ready to punch the daylight out of him—heir of a kingdom or not.
"Well then," Andrew laughed. "I've got to be brewing some coffee soon for those of us keeping guard tonight. I expect you four to be among us once we set up fire and camp for the refugees."
"Yes, Sir!" the four said simultaneously.
"I hope you four also offer your assistance to the others even if they're not from the same kingdom as you four. Lives are still lives, regardless of the King they pledge their allegiance to. Especially in wars, I hope you all remember that."
"Yes, Sir!"
"And this, I address to the son of Lady Joule: respect your prince. Once he's the King, you'll find that being on his good side beats the alternative of being dead."
"Yes, Sir!" Yzak shouted louder than before; Athrun suppressed a chortle.
"Lastly, you guys should set up your own camp. After you're done, help out the other refugees with setting up their tents and looking for firewood." Andrew brought his hand up and saluted back. "I expect you to follow those orders as proper soldiers."
The four brought their hands down and slightly hunched their backs after Andrew turned around and walked away. Without acknowledging Athrun anymore, Yzak began to unload the tents off the back of one carriage. Shiho glanced at the Prince and gave a small uneasy smile, apologizing silently on her fiance's behalf. Athrun nodded and Shiho went to where Yzak was standing.
Dearka whistled lowly. "I sure hope there's at least one pretty girl from all those returning to Orb."
Nicol patted his back and gently pushed him toward the direction of the refugee camp. "Pretty, but years younger than you, maybe."
"I'm not that old," Dearka complained. "I'm just two years older than Athrun and Yzak."
"We'll see." Nicol looked over his shoulder and smiled, continuing to walk with Dearka.
Shinn, meanwhile, looked confused. "So they're your friends?"
"More or less." Athrun thought of Kira who was supposed to be his best friend. Shaking off the heavy feeling in his chest, he called out to Yzak, "Do you and Shiho need any help with setting up camp?"
"No!" Yzak yelled back. "But you can make yourself useful by gathering firewood from the forest. I remember Lacus asking for my help retrieving you when you chased after some thief. You should know the place better than any of us."
"Alright," Athrun acquiesced, pushing back memories of a blonde girl with wild amber eyes. "Shinn, hand me the lamp."
Shinn reached for the lamp in the carriage and gave it to Athrun. "There are bandits here on the trade route? And you chased him into the forest?"
There was one, Athrun thought as he stepped on the stirrup. She said her name was Yula.
As Athrun rode into the forest, Shinn chased after him. "Hey! You're not taking me with you?"
"Go help Yzak or something," he replied after he was nearing the edge of the forest. He didn't want anyone else to be with him, not when he wanted to remember Cagalli and how beautiful she was with the sun in her eyes. "I'll be back with enough firewood before it gets too dark."
Shinn put his hands on his knees to support himself, taking in air to catch his breath. When he looked up, he could no longer see the outline of Athrun or his horse in the thick trees. He looked up; the sun was about to set.
That was all of it, Cagalli decided as she loaded the few possessions she had from the den. A tattered blanket, a few books, and a lamp—whether it was still functional or not, Cagalli didn't know yet. She left behind the small bag that she had on with her when she and Kisaka escaped from Orb; there was nothing left of its content anyway. She had drunk up what medicine there was when she was having a fever and there were certainly no more provisions for her to consume. Only the letter from her father was left—and that, she quickly stashed into the sack.
She had to move on if she wanted to get back to Orb. There would be no more of the past to haunt her. Her father would want her to save Orb—coming back and reclaiming her throne would be the best way to honor the memory of Uzumi Nara Athha.
Cagalli held the sack close to her chest, its weight slightly pulling her to the ground. Those were the last five years of her life she'd be leaving behind. This would probably be the last time she'd step into the forest. She closed the sack with a piece of rope and tossed it on her shoulder while she held the lamp in her hand.
After collecting a sack full of firewood, she simply ran off. In her excitement to tread the familiar ground with her own feet, she had tied the horse a good distance away. Now she realized that it wasn't such a good idea, even with the light from the lamp guiding her. She never stepped out of her den when it was night so she couldn't tell where she was going.
"Damn it," Cagalli cursed out loud. "Where do I go now?"
She walked around a mile, trying to retrace her steps—but she couldn't find the tree she tied the horse to. Aside from her being tired, her candle was going to run out of wick to burn out soon.
Luckily for her, she saw another lamp shining from at least fifty meters away. If she was fortunate enough, then her candle would last before she reached the other person who was probably collecting firewood, too.
But when she was near enough to see at least half of the person's face, she almost wished she had gotten lost in the opposite direction.
"Athrun."
He knew that voice.
"Cagalli."
It was like he wasn't even thinking—his hand moved so that the light could shine to the direction of the sound and his feet were taking steps forward. That was how he would react to her from now on. She was like the missing part of his entire existence, attracting his soul to her being like a moth to a flame. She was his flame, and she burned bright even in the dark, it seemed.
Please, he thought, his mind desperate for her, to be consumed by her mere presence once more. She knew him and understood him; she showed how much she cared for him in spite of everything they've been through. She was the only one he needed—he'd forsake his kingdom for her, he decided, even when he knew nothing of her. I know you, I know you, he tried to convince himself some more.
"Cagalli," he called for her once more, moving his hand from left to right, shining light on the general vicinity. He tried to speak, but no words came out of his mouth. Athrun found that he could only say her name.
She was hiding behind one thick tree. If she ran now, she would trip in the darkness; but right now, it looked like a better option that being discovered by him. If he knew she was travelling with him... Well, she didn't know what he'd do, but he would be in the way of her getting back her throne, that was for sure.
So Cagalli ran.
Roots she swore weren't there before, were suddenly there. She fell on her knees almost every ten meters, but her determined ankles wouldn't let her stop. Her bruised and wounded legs carried her until she reached a clearing where there was enough light seeping through the canopy of leaves to let her see that her horse was tied nearby. Draining all of her energy, she threw herself onto the back of the horse after she untied the rope from the tree.
"Go," she whispered, and the horse followed, running at a reasonably fast pace without her falling off. Please, she begged in her head, but had nothing in her to voice it.
Later on, when she arrived near the carriage and Kira and Erica rushed to carry her back inside for her to lay down, Cagalli realized that when she saw Athrun, her heart had stopped and she had dropped her belongings from the forest.
He could have sworn that was Cagalli. But she was supposed to be in Orb, wasn't she? They left as soon as his father received a letter from the Queen of Orb. That was supposed to be Cagalli, wasn't it? Kira told him she would reclaim her throne or something—and she did, didn't she? Wasn't that the reason he agreed to go to Orb?
Athrun shook his head. Maybe it had been just his mind playing games with him; but surely he wasn't going insane.
Stepping further into the forest, he found that he had stepped on something that didn't feel like how the floor the forest felt like. Athrun shined the light over the ground and found a canvas sack.
"That's odd," he whispered himself, trying to ignore the shiver that briefly ran down his spine. He shined the light around him once more to check that no one was watching him. He picked up the small sack and walked back to his horse. He tied the sack to the saddle and put all of the firewood he collected into a separate sack.
While he was riding back to the trade route, all he could think about was Cagalli.
"Athrun!" Nicol greeted him first when he returned. "We were worried that you wouldn't come back soon."
"We really weren't," Yzak retorted; Shiho promptly stepped on his foot. "Ouch! Damn it, Shiho—"
Dearka offered his hand to Athrun. "You need any help getting down, Princess?"
"Haha," Athrun mocked, jumping down on his own. "Tomorrow morning, before we all head out again, I want you to check every carriage for a girl with golden hair. If you find her, bring her to me. That is an order; is that understood?"
Sensing the seriousness in the Prince's tone, the four of them saluted in acknowledgement. "Yes, Sir!"
When Athrun turned around and headed for the camp that was set up beside his carriage, Nicol called out, "Aren't you going to eat, Your Highness?"
"I don't feel hungry."
"But surely you're tired from heading out into the forest," Dearka commented, raising an eyebrow at him.
"Another objection from any of you and I will make sure that none of you will get to eat until we get to Orb," Athrun growled, annoyed. "Just let me be."
After Athrun entered his tent, Yzak rolled his eyes and began to untie the sack of firewood from the horse.
"Spoiled prince."
Cagalli opened her eyes to angry gray ones.
"What in Haumea's name happened to you last night?" Kisaka practically exploded with his anger. "To be covered in wounds and bruises! Were you attacked by wolves or something?"
"I—" I saw Athrun, that's what happened.
"From the looks of it, she tripped on roots and was scratched by bushes." Kira was standing behind Kisaka with his arms crossed. Mu, Murrue, and Erica were also standing behind Kisaka. "Am I right, Cagalli?"
She nodded, supporting herself to sit up. "I ran out of light before I could find my horse again."
Kira continued to frown. If anything, she looked haunted. Perhaps letting her go into the forest to supposedly say goodbye to her past wasn't such a good idea. She would continue to be tormented by those demons, he knew, but she was strong enough to at least not let it show.
"I'll reapply some ointment onto the scratches," Murrue quipped, stepping forward. "I'm sure Cagalli would appreciate some privacy."
Everyone else nodded and slowly exited the tent one by one. Kira was the last to leave.
"I'll bring back some food for you to eat before we resume travelling."
Cagalli smiled. "Thank you, Kira."
Murrue opened a jar filled with what looked like green horse dung—and it smelled like it, too. Cagalli recognized it as a healing ointment which the Hawke sisters also had in their store. "You were unconscious last night, so I don't think you remember having felt anything. This will sting a bit."
When the cold paste touched her skin, it was as though it was sudden ablaze with fire. Cagalli hissed and bit on her hand to keep herself from shouting. It didn't sting a bit—it was like a bee was attacking her repeatedly all over her legs.
"There." Murrue closed the jar and wiped the ointment onto a towel. "We should reapply it every now and then if we want your legs to get better faster. Whatever you passed through in the forest, it was sharp enough to cut through your pants and cut deep into your skin."
"And whose idea was it to put me in a skirt?"
"Well, it's easier to apply the medicine that way, isn't it?"
Cagalli grimaced. "You do have a point."
Kira re-entered the tent with a small loaf of bread and a bowl of some soup. He handed the food to Cagalli who accepted the sustenance gratefully. She devoured the food quickly—almost in a barbaric manner, Murrue noted with a small grin.
"Excuse me," a slightly pitched voice came from outside. Neither Murrue nor Cagalli recognized the voice, but Kira did—and as soon as he knew it was, he put up the hood of his jacket and turned around. "May I come in?"
"Who is that, Kira?" Murrue asked.
"A soldier from Zaft," he coughed. "Most likely an escort of the Prince."
"Cagalli?" Murrue turned to the princess.
She stood up and dusted off her skirt. She called out, "Please do enter!"
A young face greeted them as he moved aside the flaps of the opening of the tent to come inside. Cagalli inspected him and he looked too young to be a soldier. At most, he was probably sixteen years old.
"My name is Nicol Amalfi and I'm here on the Prince's orders. Forgive me for the intrusion, ladies and..." Nicol looked at the figure that wasn't facing him.
"Oh, don't mind him," Cagalli said, offering a bright smile to match Nicol's. "What is it that the Prince ordered?"
Nicol looked at the two ladies in the tent. None of them had golden hair that the Prince described. The two were probably mother and daughter as they had the same shade of brown for their hair. And the other person in the tent was a guy. So none of them were who Athrun was looking for.
"Nothing that concerns you three, I suppose," Nicol answered politely. "I'm sorry to have bothered you."
"Is that so?" Murruue questioned. "If we could be of any help to find what you're looking for, then please just do ask of our assistance."
"No, it's fine." Nicol shook his head. "Thank you."
And the three of them were alone in the tent once more.
Kira put the hood of his coat down and Murrue turned to face him. "What was that about?"
He shrugged. "I don't know. But it looked like the Prince was looking for something." Then he glanced at Cagalli. "Or perhaps someone."
The older brunette looked at the two twins. She had to do a double-take because they looked eerily similar now that Cagalli also had brown hair. "Whatever it is that you two know, it doesn't concern me, does it? I'll just go help pack up the tents now."
"Does he know you're here?" Kira murmured, scooting to sit beside his sister. "Why is he looking for someone?"
"You can't be sure that Athrun is searching for someone," Cagalli argued defensively. "And he doesn't know I'm here. I'm sure."
"So you two are on a first-name basis now?"
"What is it to you? You never really answered me about how you found me in Februarius."
"I forced it out of Athrun. After I found some documents from a hospice you were kept in, in his office."
"Oh." Cagalli didn't like how angry Kira was sounding in this conversation, but her curiosity for whatever truth there was could not be simply satiated with a few answers. "Wait, you forced it out of him? He's a prince!"
"He was my best friend before I knew he was one."
"Your best friend... Athrun was your best friend. Why didn't you tell me this before?"
"I never thought it was relevant. I didn't know it would ever be relevant. Do you know how angry I was to find out that he kept you from me?"
"I can imagine that you were quite mad with him for that?"
"Very."
"Well he didn't know, did he?" Cagalli asked, playing around nervously with the hem of her skirt. "I mean, if he knew that you and I were remotely related, then he would have told you of what had happened to me—"
Kira cut her off immediately. "I still haven't forgiven you completely for leaving."
She remained silent, looking at the simple patterns stitched onto the long skirt she was wearing.
"I may not be in a position to ask you to seek for forgiveness for wanting your own freedom," he said, looking at her with all seriousness in his purple eyes. "Instead you chose to head out and escape. You'd rather run away then face the reality of your problems."
"I thought we already talked about this when you found me in Februarius."
"Yes, but you need to get it in your head—"
"Get what in my head?" she snapped, standing tall and defiant on her feet. "That I would 'rather run away then face the reality of my problems'? What exactly are my problems? That Orb isn't being run by me? Is that my problem, Kira? Was that somehow all my fault? Could I have possibly helped it at that time?"
When he gave no answer, she continued, "No one ever stops to think about how I feel. Sometimes I feel like I'm on the verge of giving up, and I'm not even halfway there yet."
"You two." Kisaka suddenly appeared at the entrance of the tent. "I heard shouting from outside, but Murrue said that it was just the two of you in here. You can continue arguing in the carriage later. Right now, this tent needs to be packed up."
"Right." Kira seemed very eager to exit the small area; Cagalli frowned at her brother's capriciousness. "I'll go help outside now."
After Kira left, Kisaka raised one thick brow at his ward. "You alright?"
She nodded because there really was no other choice.
"There were only three girls who were blonde and none of them was the girl you're looking for." Yzak was beginning to berate him, but Athrun wasn't hearing any of it. "I think it was a waste of time to have us look at every tent or carriage in the camp to ask if there was a blonde girl because the Prince of Plant wanted to see if she was his true love or something—"
"Shut up before I leave you here on the trade route with no horse or carriage to take you back home," Athrun replied stiffly, taking a drink from his jug of water. "You shouldn't be saying those things; I have a fiancée."
Dearka gave a wolfish grin. "If you still think of her as your fiancée even after all those puppy-eyed looks she keeps sending towards Kira's direction, then... You can believe what you want to believe, but we're pretty sure that pretty girl isn't into you, Princess."
Nicol joined in the conversation. "Where is Kira anyway?"
"I let him go back to Orb as soon as we got the letter from the Queen of Orb saying that refugees could return," Athrun answered coolly. "It also explains why you haven't seen him around the castle lately."
"Well, speaking of the Queen of Orb, I heard that she was a total babe," Dearka told them in a hushed tone, careful not to be overheard by the other refugees. "I was talking to one of the ladies at the camp, and if what she says about how the old Queen used to look like, then her daughter shouldn't be too far off."
Athrun rolled his eyes. Cagalli was beautiful and soon they would all know of her beauty as well. "Get on your horses. Once the carriage in front of us moves, then we should start moving as well."
Shiho raised her hand to speak. "I thought we were waiting for your guest, that Asuka boy."
"He decided to ride in another carriage with other young refugees like him. Perhaps he found a familiar friend or an old neighbor of his." Athrun shrugged, stepping into the carriage. "Just knock when something of notable interest happens."
"I doubt anything will happen on this cursed half-deserted rode," Yzak muttered under his breath. Athrun heard it right before he closed the door to his carriage.
The Prince sighed and looked outside of his quarter light. He had been on this rode at least a hundred times. He had spent weeks of his life travelling back and forth from Aprilius to Copernicus. He knew the view of the mountains and the forest; slightly memorized the landscape after hours of looking out bored, wondering if they were anywhere near Plant.
But somehow there were things that changed. Half of the trade route was now compromised by his memories of Cagalli—a rogue in brown blending in with the tall trunks of the trees, a wild-eyed girl lost in her own territory, a weak soul in a fragile body injured and bleeding to uncertain death. Now, all he could see was Cagalli on her horse, riding faster than most of the guys that he knew, laughing as the sunset reflected off her eyes.
He could have sworn that she was there with him last night.
The rest of the trip was uneventful.
They didn't let Cagalli step out of the carriage unless it was because she had to answer a call from nature and head into the forest for a while. Even then, Erica had to be with her so that she wouldn't go off on her own and hurt herself again. In actuality, she was beginning to feel like some dog on a leash.
When it was night time again, they told her to stay inside her tent. Kira slept in the same tent as her, and while they did have their own altercation earlier in the morning, Cagalli was comforted by his presence, no matter how silent he was. She was glad that she at least had him.
After she woke up from her nightmare of a dream, she saw that he was also there, sitting, watching her. Somehow, they didn't need any words to know what the other had just seen in their slumber.
The following day, her heart kept beating bruises onto her chest. Kira sat beside her in the carriage, letting her hold his hand and squeeze it when she felt too nervous. All Erica and Murrue could offer her was an awkward smile. The nap she took that afternoon was hard to fall into, but eventually she slept, relaxing a bit while reclining her head on Kira's shoulder. When her eyes opened again, it was dark outside, but for some reason, they were still moving. Her head was racking for ideas as to why, but then the faint scent of the sea filled her nostrils, filled her every sense. She looked to her right; Kira was also awake.
Less than an hour later, the carriage stopped.
"We're here."
End of Chapter Ten
Notes: Starting this chapter, this story is now titled Heavy Lies The Crown because of reasons. But nothing else has changed, I swear!
Song of the Chapter: English Town by Matchbox Twenty
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