A/N: New Years resolution= update more reguraly. Thanks for sticking with it! :)
The look in her eyes terrified him. Made him want to run far, far away and not deal with whatever horrible reality this conversation would involve. Because he hadn't expected this. He'd begun to accept Lauren was gone, never to return to his side. He was normally so good at predicting people; he'd seen that Lauren was having a great time with her new friends and didn't need him anymore, he'd seen that she was perfectly happy. This didn't make sense.
Scorpius took a few tentative steps over to his bed and sat down next to Lauren, still leaving a few inches between them so that he could get a good look at her face.
"Okay….okay, you can tell me. You know you can tell me."
Inside his heart had begun to beat wildly. Nothing made Lauren cry. The last time he remembered her crying they were about 8 and she had gotten her finger trapped in a door. What had happened? Was it something he had done? His fingers gripped the bed covers as though to stop himself from running out the door.
Lauren was now staring at his face with a kind of desperation in her eyes.
"Well, over Summer…you know how I went to stay with Sarah in Summer?"
"Yes. You didn't want to Jessie to come."
"What? Oh yeah, no she didn't come in the end. Went to Spain with her family. Or Italy or something, I don't know. Um. Yeah, I was at Sarah's and we went to Diagon Alley to meet up with people. I would have invited you but I know you don't like that lot." Scorpius felt a bit hurt but supposed it was true; he wouldn't have gone even if he had been invited. "And we were just looking around shops and stuff and then Kn-nott said that he was having people back to his. For a party. So I wanted to go but Sarah said she wouldn't be allowed and that I was staying with her and so I shouldn't go either. But I really wanted to go. I thought it would be fun, I was so happy to have been invited." She was now looking at the bed sheets, though her eyes would occasionally flick back up to Scorpius' concerned face. "So I went anyway, and just left her. I just left her there! Isn't that awful? She had to go home and make up an excuse for me to her parents. I'm not sure what she said. So I was at Knott's and there were only a few people there really. All Slytherins from Knott's year. There was a lot to drink, of course. Firewhiskey and wine mostly I think, I didn't much like the taste but I drank along with the rest of them. Had to keep up, didn't I? Didn't want them remembering how much younger I was. And it got to about 12 and I was feeling really drunk and everyone left, I was going to go but Knott said I should stay, that I was in no fit state to travel. Neither was anyone else really but I didn't think of that at the time. I'd always liked Knott. I guess he knew that. I bet you knew that too, didn't you Scorpius? You always know these things. I can't remember how it happened but he kissed me. And I kissed him back and it was nice. Really…nice. And his hands were…were…everywhere. But I didn't mind." Her voice was filled with self-loathing, hating her past self it seemed for her naïvety. "It made me feel mature. Isn't that so stupid? Pathetic. And then he started undressing me. I didn't notice what he was doing for a while, I was too drunk."
Scorpius wanted her to stop talking. He knew where this was going. He didn't want to hear, but it was as though Lauren felt compelled to speak, and she just kept talking and talking and talking… "When I noticed, I told him that he shouldn't. But he said it was okay. He said it would be fun. So I let him. And then there I was, probably looking absolutely ridiculous, laid out and naked and I panicked. I tried to push him off but he carried on and it hurt so much. I told him to stop but he said not to be such a-a baby. So I just closed my eyes and waited till it was over. I got dressed and he gave me some floo powder and then, just as I was about to leave, he said something I'll never forget. He said 'I woudn't have thought someone who wears the clothes you do would be so fucking frigid.'" Lauren burst into tears. She cried silently with one hand covering her face and the other clutching across her stomach, as though holding her together.
Scorpius was shaking with anger. How dare he? How fucking dare he? He would pay for this. He'd always known Knott was a sick bastard, but this? This was beyond anything he'd imagined. He put his left arm round Lauren's trembling shoulders and brought his right hand up to pull her hand from her face.
"Lauren? Lauren, it's okay. This wasn't your fault. You did nothing wrong. It's him, okay? He needs to pay. We should tell someone. He could go to Azkaban for this."
"What? No! No, no-one can know. And anyway it wasn't like that, I wanted it but I changed my mind. That's not the same thing."
"Yes it is. And you're underage and he's not. It's assault." His voice softened. "Lauren, it's rape."
"No it's not. And we're not telling anyone. Please, I can't have them knowing. Only you. You're the only one I trust, Scorpius.
Scorpius didn't know what to do. How was he supposed to handle this? It was too much, one wrong move and he could ruin everything for her. He had to think clearly. So he couldn't tell anyone. Well, he supposed it was Lauren's to tell. And she had chosen to tell him because she needed his support and so he had to give it to her. But that didn't mean he couldn't make Knott pay. He would have to remain alert, constantly watching for a weakness that could bring the older boy down. No matter how long it took, he would do it. Scorpius wasn't a Slytherin for nothing.
Over the weeks that followed Scorpius observed Knott with an intensity he normally reserved for watching Albus Potter. He watched him at meal times and while he was socialising in the common room. He watched as he swaggered down the hallways and bullied fellow students at random. While he normally tried to block out the prattling of Knott and his minions, Scorpius purposefully sat closer to them than felt comfortable, trying to overhear a snippet of information that would help bring Knott to his knees.
But so far, it was all to no avail. It was absolutely infuriating. While everyone knew that Knott was a first class prat it was hard to provide evidence of any convictable cruelty. Terrence Knott, it seemed, was nothing if not cautious. All his nefarious dealings seemed to go on behind tightly closed doors that Scorpius had no way of getting through. Lauren wasn't helping matters either. It was as though she was making up for the time she had lost with Scorpius. She had glued herself to his side and it was a very rare moment indeed that Scorpius found himself alone and free to watch Knott without her constant distractions. For whenever she noticed Scorpius looking in the 7th year's direction she became flustered and tried to call his attention away to something else.
"Look Scorpius, Scarlett Jury has the most ridiculous hat on today. How many ostriches died to create such a beast, do you think?"
"Scorpius, help me with this charms essay would you? Yes, I know it's finished, but it could be better, and it would be with your help."
Or if she was really desperate;
"Look at the ceiling today. What kind of weather do you suppose we'll be having this week?"
As much as Scorpius wanted to hurt Knott, he couldn't do it at Lauren's expense. The idea of Scorpius confronting Knott obviously terrified her. And so the waiting continued.
There was, of course, another obstacle in Scorpius' Knott watch. An obstacle that was always on Scorpius' mind and distracted him from focussing on anything for any descent amount of time.
Potter had started chewing the cuffs of his sleeves towards the beginning of the year. It left them tatty and often moist and dark with saliva. Someone should reparo those for him, especially as he struggles with charms, Scorpius thought. But no-one seemed to have noticed. Well, almost no-one. The other day Bathsheba Jameson from Ravenclaw had watched in disgust as the Gryffindor had chewed absentmindedly on the cuff of his robes while frowning down at his charms notes.
"Potter, that is so gross. Stop it, you'll get spit on me. Hello?" She waved her hand in front of his face. "Are you listening to me? Stop it, I can't concentrate!" Albus looked up from his notes, his face going red as he took in what the uptight girl had said.
"Yeah, sorry, I didn't think that – didn't realise, you know. I'll just…yeah. Sorry."
Stupid, rude, inconsiderate Ravenclaw. What did it matter to her if Potter wanted to chew on his own clothes? It was entirely his own decision, his property to chew at his will. Scorpius didn't mind, not at all. In fact he found the whole motion rather hypnotic to watch, and sometimes he caught glimpses of Albus's tongue as it lazily trailed across the fabric. Jameson was lucky to be so close to him. He was, as Scorpius had noted countless times before, quite lovely.
It seemed that despite his new obsession with Knott, the real object of his attention and fascination remained the same. It was getting quite difficult to handle now. He'd had to give in to his urges, no matter how disgusted he felt with himself, and now regularly repeated his shameful Summer activity. Touching himself to images of Albus had become part of his near-daily routine. The images in his head were becoming more and more specific and sensual. He imagined what it would be like to have Albus whisper in his ear, to feel his lips against his ear and his breath flow across his neck. To have Albus' hands trail lightly down his sides. Over his hips and across his stomach. Between his legs. Kissing him, the dark haired boy's tongue caressing his as it did the fabric of his own sleeve.
It was all fantasy of course, and had not a chance in hell of ever becoming reality. Scorpius told himself this every time he thought of Albus; it just wouldn't do to get his hopes up. Yes, they'd had a couple of meetings at Winter Balls. Yes, they once had a conversation in the library. But it meant nothing. Nothing at all. But there were moments. Moments when Scorpius would smile at Albus as they passed in the hallway and Albus would smile faintly back. Probably completely automatically and without even realising who he was smiling at. And yet in these moments Scorpius allowed himself the thought of a fool…what if.
How? How had this happened? How had it come about so very quickly? Had it really been two whole years since the last Winter Ball? And this year it would be worse than ever before. Because this year he was taking a girl. It had been, as many terrible things in Albus' life were, all Frank's idea.
"Go on Al, she's Alison's best-friend. It will be like a double date, only we don't have to pay for anything!" Apart from new dress robes. Expensive, stupid new dress robes that made Albus feel like he was wearing a woman's nightgown.
"But I don't know Clarissa!" Frank stared at him blankly.
"Albus, she's been in our year for the last 3 and a half year," 3 years and 4 months, actually. "She sits with us whenever Alison does. Come on man, it will make them both so happy. And you know what a happy girlfriend means." He winked in what was obviously meant to be a show of macho camaraderie. Albus didn't like it, not one bit. And he didn't like being called 'man'. What did it mean exactly? Was it just a way of pointing out his gender? What purpose did it serve in conversation? People should think about these things before casually slinging words around. Words should mean something, not just be –
"So you'll do it yeah? Please? You know I'd do the same for you!" Puppy dog eyes. Stupid puppy dog eyes.
"Fine. Fine, I'll do it. But it's not a date! It's just a…well, I don't know what it is, but it's not that."
"Whatever you say, dude." Dude. What on earth did dude mean? Did Frank think that – right, never mind, not the time for those thoughts. Instead, it was time to wander over to the Hufflepuff table and mumble, 'want to come to the ball with me as a friend?" somewhere in Clarissa's vague direction. Except she didn't hear the first few times so he had to increase his volume and repeat the question. In doing so he'd attracted the attention of some of the older students and so it was amid humiliating cries of 'awww' that Clarissa replied that of course she'd go with him. What fun they'd have. They should get dress robes of the same colour. They could take photos together before they went, maybe with Frank and Alison in hilarious poses while clasping bottles of butterbeer to show how much fun they were having.
Oh, what a joyous night it would be.