Sorry this has taken SOOO long, and now with this episode already airing, I tried to keep change its slightly so that you're not just reading a recap of the episode. I will power through Date Night and post soonish, fingers crossed! Thanks for reading
Jess and Nick sit quietly at the breakfast table, staring intently at their own plate of bacon and eggs, not daring to look up at Bonnie. Nick breaks the awkward silence.
"What needs to be done today Ma?" Nick asked, hoping that his helpful attitude will break down his mother's bad mood.
"Well, we need more groceries, pick up your Aunt Ruthie from the home as she is staying with us for the next few days, plan the funeral, make up the guest room for Winnie and Schmidt…" Bonnie was listing off.
"Wait, did you just say plan the funeral? Ma! It's supposed to be tomorrow morning!" Nick states, panicked.
"Well I was waiting for you Nicky, you help with this sort of stuff."
"Ma, Ma - don't worry, I'll take care of it. What ever needs to be done, I'll do"
"And I will help Mrs Miller, that's what I'm here for" Jess says delicately, trying desperately to get back in her good books. Bonnie ignores her.
"Oh, the Eulogy Nicky. You need to do the Eulogy"
Nick freezes. The Eulogy? For his Father? He has to say meaningful, thoughtful words about his deadbeat Father?
"No, Ma. I can't do the Eulogy. I don't have anything to say" "Oh, but you have to Nicky. There is no one else to do it. Jamie will surely screw it up, he is far too emotional"
Nick looks over to Jess, hoping she will have the answer. "You should do it, Nick" Jess whispered.
"Ok, I'll do it"
Nick is sitting at his Father's old work desk, trying to put pen to paper. He starts to write, then scribbles it out in frustration. He tears out the piece of paper from the notepad, scrunches it up and throws it to the nearby bin, where there are other pieces of scrunched up paper scattered across the floor. He has obviously been there a while.
"Knock knock" there was a light taping at door frame. Nick looks up to see his brother Jamie standing there, with a goofy grin on his face.
"Where's your friend?" Jamie says with a smirk, while doing a rude gesture with his hands.
Choosing to ignore his brother being obnoxious, Nick answers "She's out getting the groceries, and organizing the food for tomorrow, and flowers…a hell of a lot more than what you're doing for this damn funeral"
"I am an emotional wreck Nicky, what do you expect from me?!" Jamie exclaimed
"Whatever, Jamie"
"You know, you kind of look like him, sitting there at his desk." Jamie smiled, lost in a memory, then his bottom lip start to quiver, and he starts to cry uncontrollably.
"Come on Jamie, settle down" Nick sighed, agitated.
"You know me, once it starts, I find it hard to stop!" Jamie walks into the study, and plonks onto the nearby couch.
Nick runs his hands over his face, and lets out a long exhale. "Why do you love him so much Jamie? He was never around." He hoped that Jamie's answer would at least give him inspiration on what to say.
"I don't know. Distance makes the heart grow fonder I guess" Jamie sniffed. "Plus, he always came back"
Nick pondered Jamie's words as his brother loudly wept.
Jess arrived back at the Miller's residence just as Schmidt and Winston arrived in a taxi.
"I am never flying Delta again, how dare they lose my luggage! My body wash from Cyprus was in there, do you know how much that costs? The freight alone - the animals!" Schmidt yells.
"Schmidt, can you help me with this" Jess asks as she starts unloading the groceries. Schmidt reluctantly helps with the groceries to take inside. As they enter the house, they are greeted with a smiling Bonnie.
"Winnie, Schmidt! It is so good to see you both!" Bonnie wraps her arms around both of them, bringing them in for a big bear hug.
"Good to see you too Mrs Miller" Winston said, with a hint of sadness.
"We are so sorry for your loss, Bonnie." Schmidt said sincerely.
"Where's your luggage dear?" "Oh Bonnie don't get me started…!" which is exactly what got Schmidt started. His rampage on the airline company is one that Winston had obviously heard a few times on the way from the airport, which was signaled by his eye roll.
Jess tries to interject, but fails. "I guess, I'll just put these in the kitchen". Jess walks away, disappointed that she cannot seem to break through to Nick's mother.
Winston walks into the kitchen and starts to help Jess put the groceries away. "Schmidt will be a while with his complaining" Winston smiles. "Hows it all going here Jess?"
Jess sighs "I don't know Winston, I'm trying, I really am, but Nick's mom just doesn't like me. I don't know what to do. I've arranged the food for tomorrow, the flowers, the booklet, but it's not enough. I know this is a really hard time for her…"
"Yeah, it is Jess, so I think the best approach is to keep doing what you're doing and…" Winston hesitates a little "…and suck it up"
Jess lets what Winston said sink in. "You're right Winston. This is all I can do, be here to help and be here for Nick"
"Speaking of Nick, where is he?"
"Last I saw him, he was finalizing the specifics of the burial with the funeral director, then writing the Eulogy."
"Nick's writing the Eulogy?" Winston said, quizzically.
"Yeah, there was no one else to do it, so…" Jess is cut off as Winston walks off to find Nick. Jess immediately follows. They make their way to the study, and Nick is no longer at his father's desk. Jess walks over to the desk where the notebook is lying open, with nothing written down.
The church was slowly filling up with Nick's relatives, including his brother Jamie, his Aunt Rosie and Cousin Bobby. Jess, Winston and Schmidt are waiting in the lobby, hoping Nick will arrive soon. Schmidt starts pacing uncomfortably, visibly annoyed that he is wearing one of Walt's out of styled, a little too big, suits.
"Schmidt, can you stop moving?! You're making me nervous" asked Winston, annoyed.
"I can't help it Winston. I hate funerals, the stench of rotting flesh is filling my nostrils, and this suit is made with a polyester blend. I feel like I'm about to go to a bank interview to ask for a second Mortgage."
Bonnie walks over, flustered. "Where is Nicky? Everyone is settling in, and we need to get this started."
"I'm sure he will be here any second Mrs Miller" Winston tries his best to sound convincing.
"This funeral is going down the toilet. I promised Walt that it will be beautiful and full of life, I promised! I'm sending everyone home" She turns to walk into the main area of the church.
Without thinking, Jess quickly taps her on the shoulder. "Wait Bonnie"
"YOU TAP ME ON THE SHOULDER GIRLY?" Bonnie menacingly says "Let me make this very clear, I do not want you here. I don't know you, I don't know what you want". Bonnie turns to walk away once more. Jess quickly taps her again, twice.
"You tap me again?!"
"Please wait for Nick, it's important"
"Then why is he not here?! No Eulogy? No Nick? I rather not have a funeral if it's not going to honour my husband." She walks off.
Jess becomes determined to make this work. All of a sudden, a commotion at the front of the church takes their attention.
"HEY EVERYBODY, I'M HERE! FUNERAL SAVED!" Nick stumbles into the church, with a beer in his hand. Jess rushes up to him. "Hey, happy funeral Jess!"
"What happened Nick?"
"Well I couldn't find any inspiration in Dad's office to write, so I thought I would go to his favourite place in Chicago to get it." Nick downs the rest of his beer. "and I did it Jess, I wrote the giggliography."
"The what?" Jess asked, not sure what he meant.
"The EULOGISH!" Nick stated, as he waived a beer coaster in front of her face.
"Oh, you wrote the Eulogy, that's great." She focused on the coaster, and Winston reads it out loud.
"Walt Miller. Am I right?"
"Am I right? Am I right?" Nick slurs.
"That's terrible" says Schmidt.
"Ok, here's is what we are going to do. While I sober up Nick, Winston, you're going to stall everyone. And Schmidt, you're going to stop asking people if they can smell the body. It's rude"
"Fine, but that's all I can think about, along with desecration."
"Just don't say anything!" Jess exclaims, as she guides Nick toward a quiet part of the church.
"Hey honey" Nick drunkenly whispers in her ear. Jess composes Nick and continues to walk.
Nick and Jess sit on a bench in a empty part of the church. Jess is patting Nicks face down with a damp cloth, while he sips on a glass of water.
"I know you asked me to write it, but I couldn't Jess. I have nothing to say! You're mad at me, you have your mad face"
"I'm not mad at you Nick, I have your back. No matter how stupid it gets, and you and I both know, it can get really really stupid."
"I'm the stupidest of all the stupid boys"
"I'm going to be there for you, I'm going to hold your hand and I would have gladly told you that last night, but you disappeared. I care about you Nick, I will always be here for you."
Nick looks at Jess, and nods.
Without either of them realizing, Bonnie watches from a distance.
Nick and Jess enter the main area of the church, just as Winston finishes up his tear filled speech about Walt. They walk down the aisle, toward the open casket, and Jess takes a seat near the front and Nick approaches the podium.
Nick takes a sharp breath, and turns to look at his Father, lying peacefully. Nick turns back to the the microphone, and starts to speak.
"My dad loved Elvis. Sometimes I thought he loved Elvis more than me. So I used to tell him I hated Elvis, just to piss him off. And he would get really mad. The way that Walt could get really mad. He would turn it up loud to spite me, and sing all the songs. He was very good at gambling. He had a great mustache. He was so mean to cabbies in such a cool way. He was never scared. How did he do that?!"
Nick stares at his hands, rubbing them together as he can feel tears spring to his eyes. Jess, as promised, quietly walked up to Nick and grabbed his hand. Nick looks up to her and the look on her face immediately calms him down so he can finish what he has to say. Bonnie looks at what an effect Jess has on her son, and is touched by how much she cares.
Nick clears his throat and continues. "I don't know if Walt was a good guy, or a bad guy in the whole scheme of things, but he was my dad, and I'm sure going to miss him"
Jess smiles at Nick, and he smiles back.
Back at the Miller residence, the gang is getting ready to leave for the airport. Schmidt hugs Bonnie and thanks her for the hospitality, and reminds her that if she were to come visit, not to fly with Delta. Winston walks up to Bonnie, and throws a bear hug around her. "Thanks Mrs M, I loved Walt and I'm going to miss him" Bonnie smiles as Winston walks towards the cab.
Jess nervously approaches Bonnie, suitcase in hand. Unsure on what to do, Jess holds her hand out to shake Bonnie's. Bonnie pushes her hand away and brings her in for a hug. Nick watches from the doorway, smiling. "I was unfair to you Jessica. Thank you for all your help, and I packed you a snack." Bonnie gives her a snapped lock bag of cheese puffs.
"Oh thank you!" Jess smiles at Bonnie, and walks toward the cab.
Nick approaches his mother, after saying goodbye to his brother, who went back into the house sobbing. "Nicky, I, ahh….I owe you an apology"
"What are you talking about, Ma?"
"We all depended on you so much, and you were just a kid"
"Don't do this Ma, you're going through enough" "I'm just saying! Anyway, I'm glad you have someone who takes care of you." They both look over to Jess who is struggling to open her snack with her mittens on. Nick smiles at her.
"Me too." Nick looks back at his mother. "I love you Ma" Nick says as he hugs her.