One day, all these cards started falling from the sky, like rain, or frogs. Together with my friends on an awesome Twilight forum, we created a FAR-OUT game, and for a while it seemed like harmless nonsensical fun. But on National Bakugan Day when the beasts within started slapfighting, we knew they weren't harmless.
My name's Dan. Together with my friends Runo, Marucho, Julie, not to mention (SHUN IS NOT APPEARING IN THIS EPISODE AND DOESN'T DESERVE TO BE MENTIONED -Editor), and Alice, we are...the Bakugan Battle Brawlers!
Bakugan! One goal, two worlds!
A, a-a, a-a, TWO worlds COL-LIDE! On the inside! Gone, gone, gone, this is Bakugan!
Episode Ten
A Perfect Match
A very fluffy tumbleweed rolled through the red canyon. People lived here?
"I hate you," a boy's voice echoed. "I'm gonna clean the floor with you today. And you wanna know why? Because me and my Bakugan are a precision team, AND we're in the top twenty of the world Bakugan players YEEEEEEEHAWWWWW!!!" Said kid held his hand out to the stars, as if he were a dancer or something. His cap was emblazoned with an electric bolt, topping off his long blond hair nicely. He also had an orange-and-black vest to show off.
"Wow, that's really cool and stuff!" Julie squealed, standing across from him. Her skimpy purple-and-pink clothing was well suited to the harsh climate...or was it? It was also well suited to perverts. "Not only the ranking stuff, but even the hating stuff! I like bad boys! Is that really true, Billy?"
"You bet your Bakupod! Am I right, Cyclon, or what, y'all?"
A Terry cyclops-thing opened up in his palm. "UGGPUFHHUBLEHHHH," it spewed.
"What!?" Julie seemed offended! "What the heck is he saying? That some sort of new chatspeak or something?"
"Yup, we're a perfect match," Billy ignored. "I hate to say it, Julie, but...you're Texas toast."
"Toast!? Texas!? OMG I LOVE texas toast!" She looked as if she were about to swoon! "I've gotta brawl right here, right now, this early! Field, open!" They bubbled out of this existence and into some other place where they usually go to play Bakugan.
"Gate card, set!" They set two gate cards.
"Alrighty, Baku-babe," Billy taunted, whatever kind of taunt that was, "this time you show me what you've got!" He winked.
This time Julie REALLY swooned! "Aaahh, such charm...ah! And you seriously called me Baku-babe! I'm flattered! Bakugan Brawl! Armory Arms, stand!" A brown snake with a helmet sort of thing on its head appeared. Its tail extended into a spear of sorts.
"Pretty impressive." Billy tipped his hat. "Bakugan Brawl! High Noid, stand!" A brown humanoid battle wolf also appeared. The two Bakugan guys looked each other over, suspicious of one another. "Do it!" The two looked confused for a second before High Noid finally started running towards Armory Arms!
"Ability card, activate! Poison Faaaaayng!" Julie moaned, commanding Armory Arms to charge forward and nibble at High Noid's neck...painfully.
"Hey, wait!" But nobody listened to Billy.
"50 G'S TRANSFERRED FROM HIGH NOID TO ARMORY ARMS."
Julie squeed. "I get to crush my crush if you know what I mean!"
"Arf!" High Noid was flung back, looking like a defeated and weird pup.
"Ha! That was just a warm-up!" Billy lied. "Gate card, open NOW!"
The space under Armory Arms and High Noid started to glow and change into a huge card! Yeah, High Noid and Armory Arms were suddenly on the same space! Before anyone could say "WHAAAWTF", the Noid was orange with power! "Row ROW!!" it growled.
"Friend or no friend..."
"HIGH NOID'S POWER LEVEL DOUBLED TO 520 G'S."
"...you're goin' DOWN like an amateur at the rodeo."
"Ooh! Good one!" Julie complimented.
"Go! High Noid! Take 'em out o' the stables!!" And with a nibble on the neck, he did just that...we think.
"Aaa-uhhh! Wuhhhh!" Julie made a Home Alone face as the screen split rather dramatically to show both the weird facial expression and the marble laying there.
"You sure showed me, huh?" Billy remarked. "Nice one, but you're not gettin' a foot out o' the farmhouse with that one!"
"That was only my warm-up! But hey, thanks for saying I showed you something!"
"Wha? No, no! That was an insult! You showed me you dang near SUCK!"
"Whatever! Bakugan Brawl! Tuskor, stand!" Julie summoned a rock-hard mammoth that was so rock-hard, it even had literal rock limbs and rock in some other miscellaneous places.
"TUSKOR'S POWER LEVEL 350 G'S."
"Ha," was all Billy could say. "High Noid, stand again! And now, ability card, activate! Whirlwind!"
High Noid spiraled around as if he were the Tazmanian Devil in the outback. And, hey, it did look like the outback out there, am I right? Anyways, he spun really quickly around Tuskor.
"Ha, haha, hahaha! Yer Tuskor doesn' even know where ta' go!"
Indeed. Tuskor was looking around, just standing there. It attacked a few times, but mostly it just didn't give the effort.
"Heh, heheh, heheheh!" Julie chuckled.
"Hey? What's so funny, Baku-babe? That's MY gig! Don't steal my gigs! You crazy girl!"
"HIGH NOID POWER LEVEL DECREASING...DECREASING...DECREASING...DECREA--"
Billy slapped his BakuGantlet.
"DECREASING...DECREASING..."
"What in the tarnation is goin' on here?" He punched his BakuGantlet, only hurting himself on the cheap plastic it was made of. "Now you just made me hurt myself!" He sighed. "You tell me what kinda dang tarnation's goin' on here, Julie."
"I'LL DO THAT FOR YOU. HIGH NOID HAS BEEN POISONED. CHARACTER CARD IS STILL IN EFFECT."
While you weren't paying attention, High Noid was busy glowing purple.
"No way anything good 'n' holy could've done that!" Billy was awestruck.
"It'll continue to decrease, as long as he keeps running around and not doing any real damage like that!" Julie kind of explained.
"HIGH NOID'S POWER LEVEL STILL DE--"
"You shut up," Billy said.
"Now, Tuskor! Step on it!"
With a mighty stock elephant sound, Tuskor slammed its two front rocks onto the tuckered-out and panting High Noid. Needless to say he got "killed" in the process.
"Aw, man!" Billy mustered.
Julie smiled and caught her marble with STYLE. "Now, gate card, SET!!" With impressive yet somewhat sad vigor, Julie threw down a magical wishy-washy gate card. "Bakugan Brawl! Tuskor, again!"
"Cyclo," Billy decided solemnly, "I'm gonna have to get'cha in there. You better be okay, make it out alive, alright?"
"FEHOOSEPHEBLABLEHHHH," it spewed.
"I take that as a yes." For some strange reason, Billy had a signature Bakugan baseball pitch, and he used it to throw! The resulting throw also caused his hat to fly off. How'd he get it back? "Bakugan Brawl! Cycloid, stand!"
"BOOLAHHHHHHHH," a club-wielding orange-painted cyclops guy spewed.
"CYCLOID'S POWER LEVEL 370 G'S."
"Love ya, Billy, but I hate the...Cyclo...Cyclon...Cycloid...wh-wh-whatever that thing is! It's a fashion diSAster, that's all I know!" Julie insulted.
The guy we'll just assume is called Cycloid rubbed his one big eye. "PHUBLEH!?!?"
"Gate card, open!" she howled. "TRIPLE Kettle!" At an instant, the field under the two guys glowed with some weird, strange-languagey text. "Triple Kettle allows me to--"
"I already KNOW what that crazy moon language says! Everyone's used it a thousand times! Mostly you and your gang, but everyone else should! If a third weirdo's got to be in this battle, Mr. Not-Nice Jenkins is about to step into the classroom! Ability activate! Smackdown!"
Cycloid glowed, and you knew you were in for something awesome until only his left, unarmed hand grew. Well, so much for that. But then, with an unintelligible BLARGH, he did manage to smack down, truth be told, onto the now-cracked gate card.
"Oh NOOOOO, my GATE card!" Julie dramatically shouted.
The gate card blew up into a million sparkly pieces.
"Give'm a love tap, Cycloid!"
"Hey, what's that?" Julie thought that over for a moment. "Hey, I think I want one of those!"
"JEPHLEHHHH!!!" Cycloid was about to attack, supposedly, when Tuskor blew up and that was the end of it. That's just how much of a wimp Tuskor was. Just how much.
Billy caught his marble and said, "That's how you brawl, Baku-babe."
"BLEEEHBLUBLEH."
"Ah! I'm flattered again! Let's brawl again sometime~! Like right now!"
"Hey, how many rounds're we playin' here?"
"Uhhhh...however many it takes!"
"For what?"
"Bakugan Brawl! Sphinxguy, stand!" Lo and behold, a guy who was also a sphinx appeared before them. He looked like he meant business, but he wasn't really looking at anyone in particular, so that might not mean anything. "Ability card, activate! Ape Power!" The field glowed orange!
"SPHINXGUY POWER LEVEL 250 G'S."
Billy pitched again! "Bakugan Brawl! Cycloid, stand!"
"BLEEEEEEEEE--BLEH?" Cycloid felt a hat fall gently onto his head. This outraged him, making him feel...nasty! He stamped his feet around in unimaginable anger! "UEHUEHUEEEEHHHHHHH!!!"
"Now! Terragram!" Julie demanded.
Some more fancy moon language appeared below them. Nothing else. NOTHING ELSE.
Cycloid looked worried. He turned around innocently to Billy before spewing, "GHLEHFAJEHKAFEHSADEEEHHHHHH!!!"
"Okay, okay! Ability card, activate! Smackdown!"
"Oh no! Not THIS again!" Julie looked scared, I guess. Scared because of the giant hand, or scared that she used the same tactic twice and failed both times? Who knows for sure. Maybe she was just getting bored.
"Alright, Cycloid, now you do your thing!"
"BLEBUBLEHHHHHHHH?" The cyclops slapped the field with his big left hand and turned Terragram into a splatterhouse of sorts.
"BLAAA--"
"I quit!" Sphinxguy suddenly admitted, and he flew back into Julie's pocket.
"Hey! Don't do that!" Julie sighed. "My Bakugans are so undependable..."
"JULIE DEFEATED."
"Heeeeey! Don't push that into my face like that! Why'd you do that?"
"UHHHH...BECAUSE."
"Well, don't do it again, 'cause I'll come back and I'll be bringing the sass with me!"
"...UH, OKAY."
"Well...I lost! I just can't believe it, I just lost! I mean, I can't believe that I just lost!"
"IF YOU'RE GOING TO KEEP MOANING ON LIKE THAT, I CAN JUST DO THAT JOB FOR YOU. WOULD YOU LIKE THAT, JULIE?"
"Yeah! You can start right now!"
"JULIE DEFEATED. JULIE DEFEATED. JULIE..." And the BakuGantlet continued to speak until they warped back into our reality.
"...YEEEEEEEHAWWWWWWW!!! We did it, Cycloid, we really did it!" Billy cheered. "We're the sheriffs in THIS town! Can I get another yeehaw?"
"YEEEKFJASDSFJAFKLEH."
"Now that's just gibberish. Hey, Julie, lemme tell you a story."
"Huh? Why?" she inquired. "Because you LUV me?"
"No, course not! I just wanted to get you off my back for a few hours! Wanna know where I got this here Cycloid?"
"Where?"
"In Bakugan Valley."
"Wait, Bakugan Valley? No way THAT exists! I LUV u but your such a liar sometimes yknow?"
"Shush up, listen to the story!"
Julie obediently sat down on the rocky red rum raisin ground, ready for a story time tale.
Acting out parts as he went, Billy told his story. And it went like this:
"In the farthest nether-regions of the deepest cave in the loneliest valley of this here Grand Canyon we all live on, that there's Bakugan Valley, and it holds all the Bakugans you could ever dream of, I tell ya. And I went there, brave adventurer like myself, not finding gold or diamonds but finding something even greater: a friend.
"And then we schooled you! The end."
Julie got up with a start. "Worst story ever!"
"True story. Worst, that it may be, but true."
"True? TRUE!? How can I expect it to be true if it doesn't make any sense! More like a fable than anything else, I mean, there's no description! How is ANYONE supposed to find this supposed Bakugan Valley!? Ugh! It's times like this when I need Dan around!" She turned to the camera and growled. Also, her BakuGantlet had been talking this whole time.
That night at Julie's house...
Julie's house looked pretty average, with some trees and grass around it. You would have never guessed she lived atop the scenic Grand Canyon.
"UGH!! I can't beLIEVE I lost to my childhood friend Billy!" Julie screamed, sitting at a pink desk in her pink room.
"Oh NO, that's the real Western guy, isn't it?" Alice said, making it seem like a disaster.
"Was it really that bad?" Dan said, pointing out something.
"No...I mean, yeah! It TOTALLY matters THAT MUCH! And it does because I..." Dan was on the chatroom! She couldn't let her know she was trying to decide between Dan, Billy, and some other kid named Jim! "I...HATE him! That's why it's so bad, I HATE him!" And she regretted those words. "But seriously, his Bakugans are DUMB."
"HOW SO!?!?" a certain Gottfried voice interrupted.
"Uh...he's named Cycloid? That's pretty dumb, for starters. Tuskor's a WAY better name. I should know."
"Interesting! Hey, Hobo Tiger, you know anything about this guy?"
"No, not by name, no."
"Hey, Drago, how about you?" Dan asked.
"Surprisingly, yes," Drago replied. "Maybe. Kinda sorta."
"Awesome!" Dan beamed.
"Kind of a thin cyclone-wielder, if you ask me."
"No way! He's actually a pretty tough customer!" Julie corrected.
"Oh, sorry. Kind of a thin, cyclone-wielding tough customer, if you ask me."
"You're so slick, Drago!" Dan rubbed him.
"Ow."
"Julie," Marucho shouted, "you don't know what you're missing, not having a talking Bakugan and all!"
"I'm perfectly fine!"
"He's right," Runo added. "Halo Tiger has added so much to my life! ...Kinda!"
"No! No!" Julie waved her hands around so as to shield herself from the screen. It was ineffective. "I don't want a talking Bakugan! I don't! I DON'T!"
"They're spherical miracles!" Dan added. "Hey, that was a clever rhyme back there! And that last line almost sounded like it rhymed! Maybe I could try rhyming some more!"
"Dan, i normally luv ur voice but id rather get away from it rigt now!"
"Spherical~miracles~always tryin' to help 'cuz they're spherical~" sang Dan poorly and to the tune of Spider-Man.
"What Dan said!" said Runo.
"They are, quite frankly, awesome!" said Marucho.
"Hide the kids! Eat the food! But don't run out 'cuz then you'll ruin the mood!"
"Eh," said Alice.
"Look out--they're sphericalmi-ra-cles!"
"D'aah! Log out! Turn off! TURN OFF!!!"
Click.
Phew, she thought, wiping away some sweat. Glad I'm away from THAT nightmare! Now to get some sleep!
But the nightmares DIDN'T END.
That night, Julie dreamed. And she dreamed something terrible.
She sat in a blank room on a wooden chair. Heads flew out of nowhere to talk to her.
"And I went there, brave adventurer like myself, not finding gold or diamonds but finding something even greater: a friend."
"They are, quite frankly, awesome!"
"...spherical miracles!"
"Eh."
"How many rounds're we playing here?"
"Look out--they're sphericalmi-ra-cles!"
"Eh."
"Hey, how many rounds're we playing here?"
"Eh."
"...Awesome!"
"...sphericalmi-ra-cles!"
"And then we schooled you!"
"OMG I LOVE texas toast!"
"Runo su-ucks! Runo su-ucks!"
"Worst, but true. Worst, BUT TRUE.
WAAAAAAH!! Get me out of this crazy place! This place is DUMB! As dumb as Cycloid! Somebody heeeeeeeeelp.....
"Eh."
Stay tuned for more of the Bakugan Battle Brawlers!
Bakugan Battle Brawlers are back. Battle on. Unless you don't feel like it. Then you don't have to.
Julie flopped onto her bed. APPARENTLY, it was daytime or something. "Ugh! I just wasted all my time running around, looking for the supposed Bakugan Valley! It doesn't exist! I knew that, so why did I go there anyway? Stupid, stupid! I'm fine! I don't need one! Talking Bakugan are all big fat dummies! Usually! Except for the ones I know...i-i-i-NOT including Cycloid! Cycloid, you SUCK! Ah, stop hiding it, Julie! You're an insecure little girl who just wants to give into peer pressure more than anything!" She started crying onto the carpet. "More than anything in the WOOOOOOOOOORLD!"
"Julie, I'm here."
She looked around. "What was that just now? A robotic voice?"
"Julie, I'm here for you."
"Wait, who?" She looked up at her cabinet. There was a conveniently-brown Bakugan waiting up there. "Where were you all this time!?"
"Uhh...somewhere. I dunno, you have to give me time to think on that one. So, like I was saying" - he gave a hearty cough - "I have long searched for a human with which to share my joys and sorrows, assuming in my deep despair that I would never find it. But here I find a damsel, whose voice rings so deeply and sincerely throughout my shattered, broken, so utterly broken heart. Your voice."
"Oh, I think I get it," she said, tears wiped away, back on her feet. "So until now I wasn't being honest with myself! My voice wasn't PURE enough for you to hear! And you were there all this time!"
"No. I'm...pretty sure I just got blown in from the window. Strong winds out there. Bakugan don't have purity-based hearing." He coughed. "So like I was saying, now that the barrier of glass has been removed, I feel like I've known you for...uh...let's...just try to get to know each other from here on out. My name is Terry Gorem. Don't call me Gore. That's too bloody. What's your name?"
"I'm Julie! Please don't call me Julester!" She instantly ran to pick up Gorem. "Let's be friends forever...and ever...and EVER...and ever. Sound good?"
"Uh, yeah, uh...guess so."
Suddenly, at the same spot where Billy and Julie first brawled...
"You're goin' down like...uh...Texas toast?" Julie guessed angrily.
"Not the right way to use that term, Julie," Billy scoffed. "Texas toast ain't goin' down, 'less it's down some young man's stomach with a hearty serving of meat. And I know you're not a man, am I right, Julie?"
He's got me cornered! Cornered in his city of comebacks!
"Uh...uh...well, I've just now decided that I hate you! I've fallen for some guy named Dan Cra -- I mean, Kuso."
"Good. Always wanted you off my back. And now I guess this battle's the only way to get you off fer good."
"Also, I got a talking Bakugan!"
"Well, that's nice. Field, open! YeeHAWWWWWWWW....."
Suddenly, they were setting gate cards and getting the game rolling.
"Okay, Julie, time to get your second helping of old Western-style PAIN!! High Noid, stand!" Billy pitched. A wolf appeared.
"MY turn!" Julie threw a gate card down -- right next to High Noid!
Billy cringed. Is it me, or did she just figure out my High Noid may or may not be able to attack sideways!? What a sidewinder!
"Bakugan Brawl! Tuskor, stand!"
Mortal enemies were summoned. A tough brown wolf. A rocky elephant. Who will win!?!?
"TUSKOR POWER LEVEL 350 G'S."
"Ability card, activate! Nose Slap!" Let's ignore the fact that elephants don't really have noses, and trunks and noses are different, and just concentrate on the fight already. Said trunknose grew abnormally long, like a weird chain mace, and started slapping the field nearby where High Noid was standing! "It makes Tuskor's snout grow huge and attack the next field over! Alright, Tuskor! Lock him in the stables and don't let him out 'till supper!"
Tuskor, in a fit of intense rage, slaughtered High Noid and sent him back to Billy, who was shocked by her newly-attained dissing abilities.
"Well, that solved one problem. Wolves can't beat elephants." Billy tipped his hat. "But you'll be sad to know that your best...is not good enough! Gate card, set!" The elephant cowered in fear as a card was set in front of it. "Bakugan Brawl! Wormpoint, stand!"
A giant earthy sandworm appeared, dug underground, made an eagle's caw, came back out, went back in, then came back in with a resounding "CAWWWWWW!!"
"WORMPOINT'S POWER LEVEL 340 G'S."
Wormpoint dug underground AGAIN and wiggled around. Julie made a really audible gasp.
"Ability card, activate!" Billy went on. "Sand Trap!"
Some notreallydeep sand appeared under Tuskor's feet. It didn't look like much, but, you know, elephants. Wormpoint revealed itself again just to taunt Tuskor some.
"Silly Billy!" Julie rhymed, reminding herself of Dan. "There's no way that card could--"
"CARD DECREASED TUSKOR'S POWER LEVEL BY 50 G'S."
"...oh..."
A giant mouth appeared from below and gobbled up Tuskor. "NOM," it boomed, going underground then overground then underground then overground then underground again. Each marble was returned to its owner.
"Another question answered. Elephants can't defeat worms." Billy brought up a respectable and fairly solid point.
Julie was in deep trouble! What could she possibly do? What she SHOULD have done in the BEGINNING! Yeah, THAT'S the thing!
"Gorem, help me. Help me!"
"I will do my very best to--"
"Like, I'll die if I don't get this brawl turned in my favor!"
"Oh, in that case I'll definitely win...for you, I guess."
"If worms can beat elephants, I'd bet'cha any of my two penny loafers that you'll be just another scrap in the pigsty for the pigs to come eat up after I'm through with this'n!" Billy said confidently. His Wormpoint was back on the field, marking the first time anyone has ever played a Bakugan without having to say "Bakugan brawl stand" in recorded history.
"Gorem, show me what you've got!"
She threw a marble. But like a boomerang, the marble came back.
"WHAAAAA!?!? But Gorem, when I throw you out, that means you get out and you battle! You're supposed to be obedient, like Pokeymans!"
"I have no idea what a "Pokeyman" is, but I can tell you that the time isn't right."
"Why?"
"Uhh...I dunno, it...just isn't right. Maybe it's something about the temperature in here. Either way, I just...don't feel like it. Doesn't feel safe." He coughed.
"Okay, sooooo.....did you...know if it wasn't safe for me in those two other rounds I just went through?"
"Uhhhh...maybe."
"Hurry up, Julie! Dang, yer as slow as a cowpoke on a Saturday afternoon! DO something already!"
"No!"
"Then I guess it's STILL my turn! Gate card, set!"
SHWOOP.
"Batter up!"
"No!"
"Bakugan Brawl! Cycloid, stand!" Just then, that fat cyclops guy popped up again.
"OOOOGBUFEBLEHHHH," he spewed. And he was right in front of Julie now.
"Ability card, activate! Staredown!"
Cycloid's eye started glowing bright red. Then...it STARTED FIRING A LASER.
"See? Told you something about the temperature wasn't safe, Julie. Lasers are dangerous stuff. Don't play with firearms."
"I didn't know you could see in that ball form!" Julie said.
"Now you do."
"I'm learning so much today!" The laser got close to her, and she leaped back! "Aah! A laser!"
"See what I told you? Please follow my advice. It's always right because I don't give much advice."
"This laser's dangerous, all right, yep yep! This here box it's makin' around the whole field'll make every single one o' yer Bakugan it's gonna be holdin' lose 50 G's!"
Julie squealed, "Aah! AAH! Quick, summon a gate card over there!" SHWOOP. "Quick, summon Sphinxguy over there!" RAWR. "Quick, don't get killed! AAH! A--"
"Wait a second, stop screaming for a moment. If it decreases the attack of everything else by 50 G's...isn't that a pretty slight difference? I don't know. Ask someone else."
"Huh." She stared blankly. "Well, anyways, I'll use the ability card Copycat!" A certain Wormpoint guy flew out of the ground. "This allows me to copy Wormpoint's ability!" Sphinxguy clawed Wormpoint. An astounding finish.
"Purdy good, I say, but not good enough for Billehboy! Ability card, activate! Grand Slide!" Some red pulsing in the ground caused Sphinxguy's card to move next to Cycloid. Since the rules were so weird, I guess Cycloid could now use an attack similar to Nose Slap. However that works.
"SPHINXGUY'S POWER LEVEL DECREASED TO 250 G'S."
"Oh NOOOOO! There's no way I can counter that with, say, an ability card!"
"OOGFEBLE-EH, PEROFIGFIBLUBLE-EH!!!" Using his hammer for a change, Cycloid whacked Sphinxguy with a hammer, doing decent enough damage to defeat him. The marble bounced away. Julie must not have cared about it.
"I've had just about ENOUGH o' THIS!" Billy shouted.
"Enough of what?"
"Enough of what? Enough of you not usin' that there new Bakugan you just announced you had earlier today! You start braggin' about it but then suddenly you just keep it to yerself! If you don't use you Bakugan for once I'm gonna have to get over there and make ya."
"FFFEH!"
What should I do!? Julie thought, feeling like she'd been suddenly shoved under the spotlight. I've got two choices: A: use Gorem, or B: get beat up! What's better for our personal well-being!?!?
"I dunno, Julie. It still feels pretty warm in here. Or something. I don't know if I want to share my sorrows with anyone, if that means them sharing their sorrows with me. I mean, I just wanted to talk, is all. So why don't we just--"
Julie did a pitch of her own...and glowed an orangey orange somehow while doing it! "Batter up, Baku-*******. Gorem, stand!" And she threw the marble with such force and fighting spirit that it hit Cycloid right in the horn and made him fall over onto his back!
"JEHSUHAFABLAHHHH!!!" he spewed, kicking up a dust cloud.
"Hey!" Billy cried. "That wasn't very nice, now, was it? Fer starters nobody calls me a *******, and for seconders nobody hits Cycloid in the danged horn! Good thing hittin' Bakugan in the horn doesn't have any effect whatsoever on its power!"
Suddenly, a golem appeared, towering over everybody with his extremely long legs. He looked like a yellow-and-brown castle pillar, somewhat, now with his arms askew and a thick green moss growing at the top.
"BLEH-BU-BU-BWEH!?!?" Cycloid spewed in shock.
"What's that thing called again? I'm afraid I can't remember the name for the life o' me," Billy asked, a hand cupped over an ear.
"That...is Gorem!"
"Hey, Gorem! Pick me up, would ya?" Julie demanded.
And the mighty castle pillar stood, turned to her and said, "Er, okay. If you want me to." And he lifted her up in his big, rocky hands.
"Oh, Gorem, you're the best Bakugan a girl could ever have!"
"Thanks," with a cough.
"...!!!!!" Cycloid was so filled to the brim with rage, it might just have spilled over out from his mouth! But it didn't, so that was good.
"Well, let's just see what happens if I do this! Ability card, activate! Mega Impact!"
"Rrrah!" Gorem braced himself for the oncoming power boost of...
"GOREM POWER INCREASED BY 50 G'S."
"430 G's!? Even with 50 not bein' much of a number all by itself-like, takin' care of this mockery of yer basic golem is the first thing we gotta do, now, Cycloid!"
"ERGH!" Cycloid gave a nod.
"Gate card, open! Level Down!" More of that weird language appeared underfoot, and made Gorem kneel! "This makes'm lose 100 G's!"
"GOREM POWER LEVEL REDUCED TO 330 G'S."
"Protect me, Gorem!"
"I...don't think I can right now."
"Now I'm sad!"
"Nnnooooooooo!"
"Not so high 'n' mighty now, when you've gotten off yer high 'n' mighty perch? Go now, my Cycloid!"
"RAREGGAFRAGGEMAFRAH, RAGAMAGAFRAGAMUHFLAHHHH!!!" Cycloid said with power and anger, rushing forth...slowly.
This gave Julie enough time to say, "You won't be alright, since I'm not using an ability card!"
"Please use one, or I'll have to just die out here. Or whatever happens when we lose."
"But we can't lose!"
"Or what? What'll happen?"
"Uhh...Billy will...hold me in low regards!"
"You care about Billy?"
"Uhh...maybe."
And just then, for a moment, Gorem felt he and Julie were just alike. They were gonna get along swell.
When nobody was looking, Julie activated an ability card.
Cycloid was still charging forth. "....."
From out of nowhere, miscellaneous Japanese characters appeared all around Gorem as he spoke the words: "Rise, shining rock!" Capitalized English text took its place, the letters reading straight downward: "THE BIG SHIELD!"
He held out a big shield.
Cycloid suddenly gained speed, turning into a mere impression in the air! He battered the shield with his hammer hitting it tens of times a second and faster than the animation could ever display, all the while chanting battle cries of "ARARARARARARARARARARARARARA!!"
This slowed down to "ARARARA! ARA! ARA...ARA...ara...a...ah..." Cycloid collapsed.
"CYCLOID'S POWER LEVEL DECREASED TO 270 G'S."
"****it, I THOUGHT that would've DEFEATED him!" Julie groaned.
"Hey, Cycloid, ya tired?" Billy asked.
"YEAH!"
"Give it a quick hit, just fer good measure!"
Cycloid shrugged before another one of those "ARARARARARA"s. Instead of slowing down, his hammer broke, and he began to sob, and so that was the end of it.
"...And for our finishing move, we punch him!" Julie cried triumphantly.
"...He's already on the ground, sobbing. Why should we punch him when he's on the ground, sobbing?"
"I SAID for our finishing move we PUNCH him."
"Okay, fine." He punched Cycloid out, and THAT was the end of it.
"...Oh, Gorem, you big, beautiful *******!" Julie leaped around dangerously. "You did it!"
"Uh, should I take offense to that?"
"Not when I say it to YOU!"
They warped back onto the scenic red Grand Canyon brawling arena area.
"Good job back there, Julie," Billy said. "Had to admit that back there was some purdy good brawlin', I tell you what."
"And I'll tell YOU what," Julie said. "I think me and Gorem are gonna be a perfect match!"
"Does that mean you're in love? Does that mean you're off my back?"
"Uhh, maybe!" She winked.
"Blecch! Gotta get out o' this here canyon place, waaaaaugh!"
"FAHFLKEUGFNCWFAOFMBFHJAG!!!"
Billy and Cycloid stormed off.
Back at Julie's house...
"Look, guys!" Julie showed off her brand-spankin'-new Bakugan to her Internet chums. "This is Gorem! You can call him Gore!"
"No you can't."
"Wow, I'm so glad you've given in to peer pressure and gotten a spherical miracle Bakugan of your own!" Dan beamed.
"According to my calculations, I'm so happy for you!"
"That's, like, cool, I guess!"
"Now I'll have to give into peer pressure and get my own talking Bakugan!" Alice said, sounding but not feeling elated.
"HI I'M PREYUS AND THIS IS MY BUDDY DRAGO!" Preyus said in one breath.
"Drag-what?"
"It's not Drag-OH or Drag-ON, ****it, it's ENDYMIO!" Drago -- I mean, Endymio corrected.
"Oh, okay, then. I'll call you Endymio."
"Oh, that silly Drago! Don't listen to him!" Julie dismissed it with a sassy hand wave.
"Uh, okay."
"Grrr..." Drago cursed under his breath.
"And this is Tig!" Runo said, perhaps affectionately.
"I told you, do not call me that! My name is Halo Tiger, there is no Tig."
"She's silly, too!" Runo similarly dismissed.
"See, Gorem? You have MAny FRWIENDS now!" Julie curdled, rubbing and wiggling Gorem around.
"They're my friends?"
"Yeah, duh!"
"Uh, sure." Cough.
Marucho here. Shun just joined Foursquare, so we're all hyped and ready to get out of the house/huge pricey tower and sneak into his summer house on the South Pole! But he finds us anyway! We end up having to battle him, predictably! Also, unfortunately (or, alternatively, fortunately) our arguably most humorous member of the team Dan Cra - excuse me, Kuso - is out sick. Please, help us, Shun! Wait, Shun's not even here, he can't answer -
whisperwhisperwhisper
I have to follow the script!? Oh, is THIS a dilemma! *deep breath* Onlyifyoubrawlusfirstbutthat'''tforgettoKEEPBRAWLING! Bakugan Brawl! Let's do this!
We leave our audience today with...the Bakugan dance.
Dooby da doo DEE dooby da doo DEE, dooby dooby doob DEE dooby dooby doob DEE, dooby da dooby doo dee!