CHAPTER 10 (SCORPIUS POV)
Detention for four weeks, no Quidditch and I have been stripped of my Prefect duties. Life is harsh and hateful.
I suppose I shouldn't have done it. I mean, I've been through it with McGonagall, Dad and the portrait of Albus Dumbledore in the Astronomy Tower. I go up there a lot nowadays, to talk to him. He talks about so many different things, that I find it hard to keep up half the time. He talks about sweets and Hogwarts lessons and other things about the past, when my Dad was in school.
I went home for the weekend, back to the Malfoy Manor. I still hate it there, though I would never admit it to anyone, not even Rose. Well, I don't talk to her much anymore. I don't talk to anyone much anymore. Maybe that's why Mum invited me home for the weekend.
She wanted to 'talk' and 'break the ice', since out little meeting with McGonagall went so badly with Dad storming around for the whole time.
I'd never liked these dark grey walls and the black furniture. It feels like I'm sitting in a tomb. Even the people in the house are pale, quiet and sit as still as corpses. Yet, it was home and the manor had been in my family for centuries and we could never give it up.
"More cake, sweetheart?" Mum asked me for the millionth time, offering me a tray with the white cake, which matched the rest of the room. I shook my head, as I had a million times before, and she sighed and put the tray down like all those million times.
"Your father should be home soon" she says, settling herself down on her armchair to look at me properly. "So, how's school?"
"Fine." I reply, shifting uncomfortably in my chair. I've had the chair since I was seven; Granddad Lucius bought it for me saying that 'all big boys have their own chairs'. It has pictures of Horntails all over it and is made for a seven-year-old body so it isn't that welcoming to my new, longer arms and legs. But it makes Mum happy when she sees me sitting in it.
We had been having such awkward conversations ever since Friday, when I got back from Hogwarts. I love my mother, but she's not good at making conversation. She has asked me about school about twenty times and I've always said 'fine'. After about half an hour of this, I hear the explosion of Dad apparating at the front door, then the click of the key in the lock as he walks into the house, shaking his coat off.
"Is he here yet?" I hear him call, his voice getting nearer and nearer.
"Yes, I'm talking to him now" Mum replies, standing up to give Dad a kiss as he walks into the living room. He regards me with an unreadable expression, motions me to stand up and presents his hand for me to shake. I take it, not used to the formality of the situation. He nods at the sofa to sit down and he sits next to Mum. They both look at me for a minute.
"Astoria?" Dad suddenly says, his eyes still on me. "Would you mind if I talked to Scorpius alone?"
Mum nods and silently leaves the room. Dad watches her go, then turns to me.
"I need to talk to you about you dating that Weasley girl." He begins.
"Rose." I cut across him. "Her name is Rose."
"Rose." He manages to fit about ten different insulting tones in one word. "We have to talk about this."
"What do you have against the Weasleys anyway?" I interrupt him again, a frown beginning on my forehead. "What did Rose's parents ever do to you? Apart from not being friends with you during your Hogwarts years." I say at his rolling eyes. "What is it?"
He watches me for a while. "You may look like me, but you have distinct features of your mother." He sighs and stands up, going over to the table to prepare a cup of tea. He takes his wand out and points it the kettle. "Incendio" He whispers and the bottom bursts into flames, yet still not burning the table.
"Well?" I ask and he turns to face me, sitting back on the sofa to wait for the kettle to boil. "Why do you hate the Weasleys so much?"
"You're mistaken." He says immediately. "I don't hate all of the Weasleys."
"Then which do you like?" I reply, confused as ever.
"The thing you have to know, Scorpius, is that you can't always have what you want. If you let go of it, you will find something better later." He replies. I watch him expectantly and he sighs again.
"When I was younger, before I married your mother, I was in love with… Hermione Granger." He finishes.
"Is that it? Wait, didn't she hate you?" I ask, yet my mind was brimming with questions.
"Yes, she did. I was an awful person, son to Death Eaters, arrogant, yet I knew what I wanted. After the Battle of Hogwarts, I left my parents. I hated what they had done to me, what they were doing to me. My father had raised me to believe in what I now know is wrong. He taught me that being pure-blood was everything, the most important. When I left them, I vowed to never listen to anyone who had those ideas. That's why I raised you to believe that any blood status can make a good witch or wizard.
"So, I left my parents and went back to Hogwarts to help with the cleanup that they had arranged. So many people were there, students and parents alike. They treated me like an outsider, staring and whispering, but I still helped. I got the Great Hall looking acceptable and helped with putting the House Hourglasses back together. Hermione Granger helped me and showed me how to charm them to drop jewels. She was the only one who didn't stare or whisper. While she wasn't exactly warm towards me, but she said that she admired me for turning on my parents and doing what I felt was right.
"Of course Weasley wanted to join us, keep an eye on me, making sure I didn't jinx her while her back was turned. He still didn't trust me, he make that much clear, and I didn't blame him. I didn't quite trust myself; I was in a dream-like state. During those weeks of the cleanup, my parents owled me many times, yet I ignored them. Hermione seemed to see and understand things, she gradually knocked down her part of the wall that everyone else had built around me and she began to talk to me, sympathize with me. She talked about her parents, who she had Obliviated. I talked to her about my family and their expectations towards me. I also apologized.
"I apologized for calling her a mudblood. I knew back then just how much emotional impact it could have on a person and I didn't care. I swore in front of her never to call anyone a Mudblood ever again and I never did. Well, not for long, at least.
"Four months later, after the cleanup was over, she went to Australia to find her parents. It gave me time to think and sort things out. I finally owled my parents. By then, they had left the Death Eaters after seeing how they had affected our family and our life and had moved back into the Malfoy Manor without them. I came home for a month, all the while arranging to finish my seventh year at Hogwarts. I needed something to do, see, and you can't get many jobs without a full education.
"Hermione finally arrived back from Sydney with her parents and she attended Seventh Year with me. We were among the few who were willing to re-enter a place where such disasters and tragedies had happened. Potter and Weasley were not there, they had gone on to help the families who had lost loved ones. Hermione, however, decided that it would be best to move on, we can't just live in the past, she said. So, she came back to Hogwarts with me. She and I had grown quite close while cleaning up Hogwarts and our friendship continued to grow as she helped me with schoolwork. I was surprised she hadn't been in the year above, she was so smart."
Dad's face grew dark and I shifted myself around in my seat to get a better look at him.
"She had gotten in a fight with Weasley. I found her in the Owlery. She's been crying and had a letter from him in her hand. He was angry that she hadn't gone back to… the Burrow, or whatever it's called, to help the family of their loss, Fred Weasley, I believe. I sat there with her for a while and we talked. Well, I talked. She listened. I told her everything. About my feelings towards her. How a simple friendship had turned into something else, something more complex and how I thought, at that moment, that I loved her. And then she kissed me.
"It was a short kiss, plain and sweet. We didn't say much after that. I brought her back to the common room and she went in without hassle or even a farewell. The next day, I saw her in Charms again. She spoke to me but never really caught my eye. When I confronted her at lunch, she said that Weasley - or Ronald, as she called him - was coming in a week to visit her. He had owled her, apologizing for being insensitive and said that he believed that she had a right to an education and was going to visit her and apologize in person. And then she said words that I still can't forget;
"'Draco, I completely regret what happened in the Owlery. I wish I hadn't done it and I feel sick whenever I think about it. I'm not going to tell Ronald, that would break his heart, but I don't want you to tell him and I never want it to happen again. I don't love you and I don't know what came over me. But I want you to know that we can still be friends. Please?'
"I couldn't do it. I couldn't still be friends with her. I hated Wealsey and how much he'd hurt her. I didn't want to be friends with her after what happened. I wanted so much more. I did something then, that for a long time, I regretted. I walked away. I said no. I never spoke to her again.
"Weasley came a week later and made a spectacle of himself by proposing to Hermione in the Great Hall. Naturally she said yes, not bothering to even look in my direction. The entire Hall erupted in cheers, everyone was clapping. Everyone, except me. Weasley had won. I had lost.
"They got married a couple of years later. That day was the last time I thought about her. I met your mother while working at the Ministry, in the Department for the Regulation and Control of Magical Creatures Department. Your mother was my partner when we were studying Centaurs. I fell in love with her after only a few days. Dear Astoria, she was amazing, lively and fun. Well, she still is. But I needed that. I needed some liveliness in my life. I proposed to her a year later and we got married, the most wonderful day of my life.
"But, know one thing, Scorpius. I was in no way settling for your mother after Hermione. I lost one thing and went on to find something better. I won't ever give your mother up for anything. She is the love of my life, and you will find yours one day. Rose may not be yours. But listen to me now."
Dad moved from his sofa and came to sit next to me.
"Rose may not be the love of your life. She may not be the one you end up married to and starting a life with. But she might. Don't do what I did. Don't walk away. Don't say no. I did, and it was one of the things I regret the most. I don't regret it now that I have your mother, I love her. But, you. Go back. Don't let her go. Go back and show her how much she means to you."
My dad looked me in the eye and did something he hadn't done in years. He leaned over and hugged me.
"I know you'll make the right decision, my boy. But do it before it's too late."
At that moment, I knew what I had to do. But, God, give me the courage to do it!