Standard Disclaimer
Pool is treating me well for a change, makes me happy. Nice summer, only problem is my social connections are pretty greedy and demanding. Stinks as it takes away writing time and money. Always money…stupid bits of paper. Jezabel, the cat I'm fostering, has acclimated to the apartment well and is now making my bed hers…stupid cute animals.
X-X
With Nothing Else
Chapter – 10
Sitting in the classroom for the first time since the angel's power outage caused the whole city to seize up, a battery operated toy without its fuel, Asuka was apprehensive. Would anybody know what happened between Fukuyama, Shinji's little ordeal with the boy, what? Well versed in keeping her mask of indifference on, she was pins and needles though. "So how did you deal with the last two days of power outages and brownouts? Lights went out while I was showering yesterday," she asked her two companions.
"I was reading on the veranda. I was shocked that they cancelled school though. Things were fine right after the fight, I was over at Aida-kun's…" Sakura quickly shut her mouth as the boy in question peeked over. He must have heard her say his name, and that sent his attention at the buxom yet shy girl's way. Not one to lead on boys, well not intentionally, she looked away down at her hands. Seeing Hikari and Asuka's expectant gazes, "Chidori invited me over…well I didn't think we'd have more time off."
Going back to her sheaths of paper, the dutiful class representative was inundated with work for unanticipated days off. "Power station went down from the sudden power up, that's what my dad said. All I know is I have a lot of catch up to do for missing students. But tell us, how did things go with Ikari-kun, that was WHY you went over right?" Hikari teased. Something about Sakura's meek nature made her the target of much of her friends jokes, Shinji could relate Asuka reasoned.
"I'm not upset at missing more of this place, it's boring here. How many times can we talk about Second Impact?" Asuka still was nervous. They hadn't said anything, nor had the legions of other flunkies that hovered around her. Love letters still poured in her box, no distasteful or colorful banter about her new status as 'adult' greeted her. Good, she didn't want to think about her mistake. It was a mistake, but she owed up to her choice. She had wanted no grounds for people to a superior stance than her, well one less thing they could try. But something was off this morning, something was missing, "What about you Hikari? I was stumbling around the apartment nude, Sakura was reading…or pretending to read while gazing at one of those pictures I gave her, what of you?"
As Sakura colored but didn't deny anything, both Asuka and Hikari shared a look. Just how deep did Sakura's feelings for the timid boy go? But while Asuka looked over to Ayanami's empty seat, Hikari just shrugged and continued her battle against truancy and missing work assignments. "Kodama and I played a board game while Nozomi played with her portables. Dad was working through all of it. And you didn't really have one of those pictures did you? Ikari-kun isn't going to cheat…where IS Ikari-kun? Asuka you didn't walk with him?" Hikari scratched at the back of her head with her pencil.
"After our run in yesterday after my shower…best not to see that spore," Asuka lied. Shinji had seen her in far worse states, but it was more what she saw of him after the angel. He had been so adamant about not wanting to have sex with Ayanami, but that girl kept pressing and pressing. Knowing Shinji, Asuka walked off since it was a foregone conclusion Rei would get what she wanted. Asuka hated that, was starting to hate Rei. Girl was just wrong for Shinji, hell the girl was just plain wrong. Though Hikari's questions did spark that ember of uncertainty, "He should be here." But he wasn't, and Asuka stood up.
Sputtering and wide eyed, Sakura slammed her palms on her desk loudly, "I-Ikari-kun saw you after you got out of the sh-shower!? D-did you have a towel on at least?" Anybody that knew the girl knew why she was so animated. Sakura didn't want more competition for her hardly concealed crush. Asuka was top dog, and lived with the boy, not something Sakura wanted. Drawing in on herself, head dipped and arms curling in like a shroud, "Y-you said you'd help me."
"And I will, as long as you don't freak out like this again," Asuka was out of her seat though. Eyes were on them, jealous glares from girls wanting her features, boys wanting her for the same, Asuka just patted Sakura. If they knew what happened with that jerk, it would have been different. Nobody knew, at least not yet. Where was that kid, he didn't have anything at Nerv, and Ayanami was still on base…so where was he? Already walking towards the door, "Going to go look for him."
Hearing the muttered whispers and comments, Asuka was going to have to squash some rumors when she got back. She even heard that jerk Suzuhara making a comment about Shinji having a backup ready. She was NOT on the make for Shinji, but she owed that boy a lot. Lithely moving through the late arrivers, they tumbled out of her way as she made no hesitation to knock them over. That camera, those pictures of her…it would have been the death of her honor had that asshole still had them. He'd have used them to keep her at his beck and call, or if they did get out she'd have legions of boys all hoping to do the same. And even beside that, Shinji…talked to her. The more time she spent with that insufferably passive boy just made her like him more. He could be so brave when needed, so why couldn't he tell Ayanami 'no'?
Not in the cafeteria, silly to think the chef would lower himself to eat that slop. She asked a few bewildered boys at the restroom if he was in. They didn't see him, but one of those boys did ask her out on a date. Maybe that was why Asuka let her walls down a little around Shinji, he wasn't on the make for her! Was a breath of fresh air. He wasn't at the teachers' office, so she ventured outside. Class would be starting soon, maybe he slipped past her. Somehow though, that unease, a black inky feeling in the back of her mind refused to dwindle. It in fact intensified as she saw a boy frantically running past her from behind the gym.
"What are you running from," Asuka asked herself as she hid behind a tree. The boy was taller than Shinji but two times as thick it seemed. The early bell rang, it was the last warning before the truancy was handed out like badges of shame. Asuka again turned back to the entrance and nearly left.
Shinji's shrill yelp was whisper thin on the early morning air, thick with humidity and heat. "I'm not done with you yet shrimp. As I see it, you owe me money for a new camera, and some money to make up for my darling little honey. Or did you tell her what I said? She give you a freebie for saving her?" Kazuma's disgusting voice threatened.
"I didn't have to tell her anything. And you'll get nothing from me. Asuka is my friend, and I'd gladly suffer more to insure you can't get your grips into her," Shinji whimpered out. Lifted off the ground, Kazuma's large muscular hands gripping him at the collar held him slightly off the ground. Asuka winced as Fukuyama slammed his fist into Shinji's stomach twice and threw him down.
Kneeling down over Shinji, bending at the knees, Kazuma ground Shinji's head into the dirt. "Why go so far for her huh? If you're not hoping to get into that tight lil pussy, why bother with all this? You have to know I'm going to do this to you again and again. My father got me off from those goons of yours. You're not a knight or anything, just a little punk. One that doesn't know his place under my boot," he emphasized his point by putting his shoe on Shinji's head and laughed.
At times Asuka was known to get angry, to act out if things didn't go her way, childish maybe. As she watched Shinji being abused though, seeing him being accosted by the man that she had made her stupid mistake with, something literally snapped inside her. Common sense left her, a red haze washed over her, a cleansing flame of chaos and blissful insanity. It didn't show though, not when she sauntered around the corner towards them. "Kazu-chan what are you doing out here? Didn't I tell you to leave Ikari alone?" her voice was honeyed and sweet.
"A-Asuka?" Shinji croaked out as he pushed his dirt smeared face off the ground. Snot and spit from the abuse made the grass and peat stick to his face, though no blood had yet to be shed.
Letting out a massive laugh, Kazuma flipped Shinji over to get a better view of the scene. Full of self-confidence, "My little pet? I would have thought you'd be upset with me. This jerk here likely filling your head with lies or something." Her held his hand out for her to take, gazing down at Shinji with a glint of pure unabashed glee. When Asuka grasped his hand he drew her in close, "I was worried you'd flee from me, Love. That he was going to try and turn you against me, likely blinded by your beauty and hoping you'd turn to him since his girl left him."
Asuka could taste the moisture in the air, the stink of Kazuma's cologne, and see the water brewing in Shinji's eyes. Life in all its pain and misery had stalled in one moment of perfect clarity. Shinji was family, only word that made sense now. Years of being alone, of needing nobody else save herself, never letting anybody close less they hurt her. Now after what she had just seen, well she wasn't alone, and it was time to repay this boy…this man.
"Kazu-chan, you know what I would love to do right now?" Asuka cooed and drew in close to him. His breath was putrid against her face, yet she was doe eyed and smiles. Her hand went down to his crotch, messaging it for a brief moment, the small thing grew hard against her hand. Still smaller than Shinji's, that was far more apparent now. And when he opened his mouth to laugh again…she squeezed it like she was trying to wring the last drop of water from a sponge. Her nails tore through the slacks he wore, ripping loudly in the stillness. "Castrated you…" she whispered in his ear softly, a lovers tone.
It was then the haze of madness fully descended on her. Asuka was fully aware of what she did, but not how she had done it. She watched, watched and laughed. Kazuma's shrill yelp was silenced as Asuka grabbed his head and crushed it between her legs. "You don't do that? YOU DON'T DO THAT? Well you're doing it now! And just like the act and that tiny thing between your legs, I know Shinji can do better!" she bellowed before throwing the man to the ground. Idly she saw Shinji getting off the ground, her statement caused him to pause in confusion.
"Better bit the dirt, honey, as I'm going in dry!" Asuka's fury was still not quelled. Oh how she wished she had been wearing high heels as she stomped her foot on his ass again and again. The sick insect tried crawling weakly away from her, his pants soiled and the smell of urine was in the air. Grabbing the man around the waist, "Never talk to me again! Never talk to Shinji again! And if you threaten my friend EVER again they will never find your body!" She reaffirmed her grip and pulled back with full force. Lifting the man off the ground, easily seventy-five pounds her greater, she slammed his head hard. Panting and crying again, Asuka started to come down from her fury. "Wha-Shinji?" she rubbed at her face.
Grabbing her hand, Shinji was leading her out of the school quad and out of the gates. People were watching through the windows of the gym. Drawn by the yells and furious beating Asuka had displayed. "We're skipping school today. Both of us could go without it for another day," Shinji said softly as he hugged her side. Asuka offered little resistance, balsa wood to be lifted and carried, as her adrenaline drained and she was incredibly tired now. He didn't say much, just a few vague assurances as he led her to a family restaurant. First to the bathroom to clean, Asuka first and his own disheveled nature after, and then to a table.
"S-some tea and menus please," Shinji asked the waitress that came to the table. The woman gave both of them an odd look, practically asking 'shouldn't you be in school', but after a moment stopped caring and walked off. She returned with the tea and some water along with the menus, without a word, and left them. And without a word was the rule for the first five minutes, they just sat there and let the tea cool and the water warm. Asuka continued to look blankly at the menu until Shinji spoke, "Rei-chan really likes the salads here, but I don't think they're doing lunch yet."
Rocked out of her stupor, Asuka's head shook about quickly and frantically. For a moment she had forgotten where she was, then it came crushing back to her. "Then I'll get an omelet and a breakfast steak. We don't all like fish for breakfast," she had the gall to smile. Good, she felt good! Vengeance, at least a little, had been handed out to that prick of a man. Maybe the school knew now about her stupidity, at least she wouldn't have to fear it now. She made her order, Shinji didn't get anything, and after the tired looking waitress left, "So, going to tell me why you were getting beat down?"
"He pulled me behind the gym when I got to school. Misato-san kempt me at the apartment to tell me…today is the day the make the decision about Rei-chan. He had two people with him, but they tried talking him out of things. I wouldn't back down though. He wanted the camera back, I hope you destroyed it," Shinji twirled his straw about in his glass of water. The bruises from Kazuma's first altercation were nearly gone now, and what remained actually accentuated Shinji's features.
And Asuka believed him, against all her stronger inclinations she believed him. "Well I don't think we have to worry about him for a while. If he does anything like that again I'll step on his father's house. Jerk, to think I threw away my first t…" Asuka saw Shinji was blushing and unsure how to react. Oh yeah, she was telling him some fairly personal stuff. He knew it already, Asuka had told him the whole deal, but not the why…just the how. Downing her whole glass in one swig, she set the glass down roughly, "Forget it. I turned that camera into scrap…after seeing what he had on it. Shinji, thanks."
"I couldn't let him get away with it," Shinji scratched at his cheek. They lapsed into silence again until Asuka's food arrived. As she ate, Shinji did reluctantly tell her the whole story of the Sunday encounter with the rich man. His non-stop hunt for the man, what he heard, and his intents were when he assaulted the larger boy. "Not very masculine or even something to be proud of really. But I couldn't let him…you're important to me Asuka. I don't know why you were with him, but I won't say anything about it," he nodded to some internal topic in his mind that he didn't voice.
The steak was excellent, but Asuka didn't feel like eating it anymore. She had been thrown out of the way of a giant bullet, by Shinji. "I never really was going out with him. Anyway, let's get out of here. Misato should be gone now, and I want to be home. There we can talk about this in private. And we do need to talk Shinji. I know you care about her, you love her, but…I don't think Ayanami is good for you. You deserve better," she let Shinji pay for the meal.
Lapsing again into the comfortable silence, Asuka found she didn't need to fill the air with needless chatter with him. Shinji was content with silence, and oddly enough so was she. Thankfully they did find Misato hadn't neglected to go to work for the day. They both settled onto the couch, the droning news playing on the television…and Asuka confessed her own hidden shame.
She admitted to what she had seen, edited slightly, at Rei's apartment that day. Shinji, well he was rail stiff for a good five minutes. With the ice broken, Asuka told Shinji the real info bomb. "Shinji…what Rei had you do after the last angel…it was wrong of her…she…she's not good for you, not how she is. Maybe you SHOULD consider dating Sakura," Asuka just let the comment hang. They sat on the couch holding hands, watching the talking heads babble about the recovery actions in getting all the power on.
X-X
"I need to get this out of my head," Misato moaned as she stepped into the command deck. After two weeks of observation, it was time for the final review of Rei's condition. Ritsuko and she had to give Gendo a written report about what they thought of the girl's condition and what to do about it. Misato couldn't take Shinji's accusing stare over breakfast. Doomed, the boy just knew it wasn't going to go his way. Seeing the normal staff at their stations, Misato headed to her own, "Get so used to bad news you expect it, sorry I can't buck the trend."
Twisting in his seat, Makoto lazily got up, grabbed some papers, and left his chair spinning around. Coffee in his right hand, he waved as he yawned, thankfully Nerv wasn't too strict on rules. "Morning Captain, your reports. Repairs in the loading bay are complete. City repair is ahead of schedule, and…" he yawned again and covered his mouth with his mug. Turning his open gob away from his commanding officer, he held out the reports.
"Somebody had a late night, hot date Makoto?" Misato teased as she took the papers. Dating, damn it! She shouldn't be thinking like this, but that time with Kaji in the elevator was messing with her head. Flipping through the reports, they were drool and expected, she saw nothing needing immediate attention. Not seeing the rogue that put the feeling of loneliness back in her mind, Misato winked, "Going to tell us about her?"
Bashfully Makoto just shrugged and shook his head. "No date for me, well I wouldn't call it a date really. I'm trying this new online dating service, we had a meeting, but I don't think it'd work out," Makoto wistfully admitted. Spinning on the balls of his feet, not trying to gawk at the woman he was fairly successful. Despite his comment he had a small bit of unexpected happiness in his voice, "She was pretty, very pretty, we hit it off, but she was just…well talking to her was like talking to a junior high student. Not the brightest bulb."
"City consul wants to have an update on our repair plan again? And you don't like them dumb and pretty?" Misato peeked at the guy. There was a time he would salivate at the sight of her, not openly or disturbing, but Misato could see the change. He was moving on, moving away from her. Why didn't she feel good about that? "And here we thought you'd jump into the first relationship that came your way. We misjudged you, better man than we expected," she gave him her best alluring smile. Why…she…she liked knowing he found her attractive.
Pinching Misato's ear hard, Ritsuko stole her provided lunch after she attained the proper pitch. "Stop teasing the man, Misato. You have work to do and so does he. Or are those calibrations on the auto defenses going to run themselves?" Ritsuko chased off the man. Twirling around, Ritsuko sat down on the station and sagged. Tired and haggard, dark circles under her eyes, the poor woman's head weaved about brokenly. Head dipping down, "Sorry about that, I've heard the story of his date with Mayumi three times already. Sick of it."
She'd have to talk to the man later, maybe apologize for leading him on right there. "You don't look to good Rits, something wrong?" not that Misato didn't know what it was. Ritsuko had to have her final evaluation with Rei too, and the woman had other work in spades. Leaning in, thinking she saw a bruise on the woman's neck, Ritsuko countered by drawing her collar up more. Another thing to check into later, Ritsuko's attitude was souring daily. Kicking her lunch further under her station, "Not going to eat that now are you?"
"Slept bad, been a bad couple of days. I'm starting to think…never mind," Ritsuko gazed off into the distance. A lost and haunted air enveloped her for a moment as she gazed at the commander's office. With a heavy sigh she oozed off from her seat and stretched her hands over her head. Her lab coat fell away just enough for Misato to see a large bruise on Ritsuko's upper arm for a brief moment. Nestling the lunchbox in her elbow, "Think I might eat it now. Had my meeting with Ayanami and my report won't be glowing. She's waiting for you whenever. Though with how you're emoting all over…Shinji-kun won't be cooking for us for a while."
Not what she wanted to hear, not at all, but Misato was a realist. "Guess I should take care of that now. Those reports are killers. And how about coming over for supper then tonight? Get one last fresh meal in before he cuts us off," Misato asked. It was wrong of her, underhanded if nothing else, but she reached out in a 'show of friendship' and grabbed Ritsuko's bicep. The woman winced in pain, tried to hide it, and would have if Misato wasn't watching for it. She'd talk to her about it over some drinks tonight. Getting off her stool, tossing her papers down, "Well no time like the present. See you tonight?"
"I don't…" Ritsuko stopped and looked down at the lunch in her hand, " I shouldn't…but sure. Going to miss having daily lunches." Both women offered the other a weak borderline fake smile, neither had any illusions. Rei's attitude since the whole observation started had been poor. Her actions after the last angel though was an eye opener. The girl disobeyed orders, engaged in a very questionable act, and showed no remorse for it. In the end it was up to Gendo, but it was pretty clear. A bit of energy came back to Ritsuko as she saw Maya, "I have to go coordinate some new test schedules with Maya. Don't go easy on her now."
With a wave, Misato set off for her regrettable confrontation. It was going to just crush Shinji, Rei too for that matter. But humanities survival took precedent over young love. Love was overrated anyway, she knew it firsthand! It wasn't what she wanted for Shinji though, to be fair she didn't want her past on anybody. Pausing at the door she saw Shigeru and Makoto talking, more Shigeru needling and teasing the man. There was a time she hated seeing Makoto approach her, knowing he'd try pushing her out on a date or something. Now…it was just more proof that she wasn't the type of girl men wanted in the end. Kaji…it was Kaji's fault. And even now she was debating getting back with him!
"Why couldn't I like a normal guy, a guy like him? But no I have to…" Misato leaned against the elevator door and sighed. Tapping her foot, a few techs walked past her but didn't make eye contact…they stopped doing that. The longer time went by, the more she compromised her morals for Nerv, men and women became more fearful of her not enamored. Was Kaji the only type of guy that would care for her, the type that cheated? It was wrong of her to get back with him, she KNEW it, he had betrayed her so many times before. Yet when she had the option to take Makoto up on his offer, she just…didn't.
The elevator door opened, and the laughter inside the cab died instantly. A man and woman quickly stopped their joke and stood at attention. The man saluted, "Captain, what floor do you need?" They moved out of her way closer to the floor control.
Waving her hand dismissively, "I'll be going down to the depths today, so I'll have to get the next one?" She smiled at them, and they relaxed drastically, when did people come to fear her so much? The door shut and she hit the button again after a few moments. Her drive to destroy the angels, was that what did it? She did get a little overanxious about it, but it was what was needed. Failure here meant the end of the species folks, no do overs, no replays, one big mistake and people die. Thankfully the next cab was empty, and she took it down to the bowels of Nerv. Scanning her card at Rei's door, it chimed and opened, "Morning, Rei-kun, sleep good last night?"
"It was acceptable," Rei stated simply without looking up. Sitting in her school uniform on the provided bed, Rei was reading the latest magazine Shinji had brought in. Better than the previous week when all she did was watch the clock. Girl at least seemed animated and cleaned herself more than forced. Folding the page she was on, Rei shut her reading material and set it on her bed, and just bore down on Misato with those accusatory eyes. 'You made up your mind already, this is for show,' they seemed to scream.
Taking the only other seat in the room, a thin metal one right across from Rei's bed, Misato offered a slight upturn of her lips. Sorry Rei, but it was easy to judge a person when they fuck their boyfriend when their roommate is in sight and not wanting to be there. The reluctance was there between them though, "So you know why I'm here, same reason as Ritsuko was. We just want what is best for Shinji-kun and yourself. We can't have you distracted or confused on what to do. And we can't have you getting into trouble outside of Nerv over this relationship." Nerv couldn't pull every law for themselves, that kid that beat on Shinji got off free due to his family connections. Oh Misato wanted details on that whole sorted affair.
"Shinji-kun is what is best for me. He cares, others don't," Rei said non-pulsed. Gripping the edge of the magazine, Rei set it and her hands on her lap. Those emotions were gone again, hiding behind that practiced emptiness. Blinking slowly, eerily slow, "I will not be distracted from my duties, nor will I assault others again without need for self-defense."
A perfectly scripted answer, exactly what any trained solder would want to hear. Misato wasn't buying it, Rei was too smart to just take a words worth. "You say that Rei-kun, and I want to believe you. But I have to ask you a few sample questions, a little role playing if you will. You know role-playing don't you? Shin-chan and you ever do that? Teacher and student play, or doctor nurse type of thing?" she ripped Rei hoping for a response. Amazingly enough it worked, Rei's fingers fidgeted and she looked away.
"I read of it, but we have not done such," Rei was just a little bit softer. Had she wanted to but was afraid to ask Shinji about it? Misato wondered if Rei could act at all outside of her norm though. Both women listened to the clock on the wall clicking by, eventually Rei recovered from her shock, "What are your questions?"
Now the hard part, Misato had to try and pick apart Rei's constructed defenses. Girl was a featureless wall, but Misato was an expert at getting under peoples skin. And she had to see if Rei was pretending to abide by their requests or was serious. "For starters, what would you do if Shinji-kun had an accident while you were in here? That Tachibana girl made a play on him and in a moment of weakness he bit?" Misato's senses were heightened. Something could be missed if she was distracted by her growing longings and sense of depression.
"He would not do as such," Rei replied harshly and without hesitation. Leaning in closer to Misato, a hardening of her brown, knotted in confusion and anger. It lasted a moment but Misato saw it, "But for the sake of your question, I would question him why."
Another perfectly scripted answer, but Misato saw a chink in Rei's emotional armor. "Ok, what about Asuka?" Misato saw an instant reaction to that name. Rei just didn't like Asuka at all did she? Twirling her hair around her finger, Misato pushed on, "She's been a lot nicer to Shinji-kun last few days. Ever since that fight she's been practically HANGING on him. Playing her games with him, flirting with him, why I think she might actually like him. A beautiful girl, energetic, and one that never relents when she sees something she wants. What if SHE…well for all we know she's dragging him off right now to a closet…" Misato saw the firework go off and stopped.
Jumping off the bed, Rei's expression darkened into a very readable rage. "She cannot touch him. He is mine. All she does is hurt him or cause problems," Rei's hands trembled with fury. Advancing on Misato, hands reaching out and grabbing the woman's flight jacket, Rei pulled Misato close. "Nobody can have him but me, and I him," such desperation was powerful and terrifying.
"Rei-kun, calm down, calm…down," Misato grabbed Rei's hands and held them. Guiding those tiny hands with their long fingers away from her collar, Misato held them. Gazing down at those pale hands, Misato felt a sting of pain in her chest. Rei had warm and dry hands, the type that was perfect for holding. In a hidden part of her mind, Misato wondered if Shinji liked having Rei use those hands on him. Leading Rei to the bed, she let the girl sit back down, "Nobody doubts your feelings for each other. I was just stating a scenario, Rei-kun. You don't have to doubt Shinji-kun."
And just like that, Rei was back to her normal emotionless self, the previous eruption a fever dream. Fixing her hair, Rei picked her magazine off the ground, "I don't doubt him, only those that want to take him from me. Do you conspire with them?" Rei tilted her head slightly and her hands flexed.
Having seen enough, Misato's chair screeched as she got up. "Of course I don't, Rei-kun. I think Shinji-kun and you are great together. Well I've just a few more questions for you and we can be done here. Hopefully get you out of this room by tomorrow," Misato wondered if Rei could tell she was lying. Playing her role as ever the skilled strategist, Misato asked pointless questions that were in the similar vein as her others. Nothing go the same response, Misato didn't need to get Rei to go off again. Rei had already proven she was angry at Asuka and saw others as a threat. Rei was a trained fighter and was emotionally unbalanced, a dangerous combination.
As Rei's lunch was brought in, Misato excused herself while the male nurse brought in the tray. She had seen everything she needed. Rei couldn't be trusted out on her own, and they couldn't get her a full time guard. Ritsuko was adamant about that, Rei had enough special testing needs that prohibited that. Finding the command bridge in full swing, everybody working on something, only Ritsuko was gone. Misato pulled her own lunch out and started writing her report. Even knowing this was going to happen, knowing Rei wasn't making progress, it was hard to finalize it. Damn hope Rei wouldn't be a threat or worry, but she was. Not to Shinji…well unless Rei read Romeo and Juliet and got odd ideas. But for others that girl was nitroglycerine.
"Hey Katsuragi, want to hit a bar after work tonight? Get some supper first of course, and then a hit a nice night club?" Ryoji asked with practiced ease. His hands expertly worked her shoulders, a simple massage with just a little to much force than Misato liked. Shinji had been trained to do it perfectly.
A drink, yes she wanted one, wanted one right now. She had just emailed Gendo about her opinion of Rei, and noticed she'd inhaled her lunch without even tasting it. "Kaji…" she knew she shouldn't, that it was a terrible idea. Hurt me once shame on me, hurt me twice… "Sure. I could use a stiff drink right now," Ritsuko would be fine with the kids for the night. Shinji would cook, and give Ritsuko an excuse to not know Rei's status.
Maybe her poor friend would get a massage too. Moaning lightly as Kaji fumbled with her back tension, "Just no funny business, just some food and drinks. Ask others to go out?" She knew he wouldn't want to, Kaji had been pretty clear in that elevator. But she hung on to her last shred of reluctance. Nobody came, though Kaji claimed he asked, but it had just been food and a drunken walk back home later.
X-X
"Food will be done in about ten minutes, Ritsuko-san, anything particular you want to drink?" Shinji asked. Drying his hands in the doorway to the kitchen, he had a pensive air about him, not really looking at the doctor or the girl on the couch.
Waving him off, Ritsuko was lost in her own mind, "Anything is fine, Shinji-kun, well anything beside Yebisu. Never could stomach the stuff." Misato's favorite beer was low on Ritsuko's palette. Hearing him shuffle back into his domain, Ritsuko saw Asuka sneak a look at her and then go back to paying the television head service. What was going on here? Shinji and Asuka were on good terms with each other, at least on base, so why the oddness between them now? "So…" she drawled out getting the German's attention, "how are things going here? Ever find out why Shinji-kun got in that fight?"
Her foot kicked aimlessly and rapidly at the open air, a nervous tick she didn't know she had, but Asuka just folded her arms on her lap. "How should I know what brutes do when left alone? I heard a rumor it was about the prick trying to blackmail Tachibana and Shinji took offense and destroyed the evidence," Asuka grunted out, clearly not comfortable with the conversation. More rapid foot action and she threw her hair over her shoulder as it spilled.
"Ah that rich girl Misato says is showing interest, guess its good thing," Ritsuko flinched inwardly. Don't go give away to much information you dumb woman, let them find out in the morning or never for all she cared. After her talk with Misato that morning she went to give Gendo her report. They shared a quick lunch in his office as she told him her opinion. Rei was obsessed with Shinji to a dangerous degree, but not something that couldn't be handled with a few acts to rain it in. Gendo didn't agree. When Asuka quickly turned to her, Ritsuko just waved her hands, "You know how fast couples break up, good to have a fall back."
Slowly Asuka's eyebrows lowed from their pitched roof of accusation back to her normal, she bought the lie. Scoffing Asuka just rolled her eyes, "Both those two dorks deserve each other, Shinji and Tachibana. He's to selfless for his own good, needs a girl that will dote on him and fawn after him. But not to the creepy and demanding level that Ayanami does. Doesn't hurt she's rich, maybe somebody can spoil him for a change, unlike Misato and you taking advantage of him." Damn somebody was being possessive at the moment and it was so clear.
"I don't take advantage of Shinji-kun, he is just very considerate," Ritsuko defended her own actions. Yes she loved having fresh lunches, and the occasional talk with the boy, but she hardly demanded he do anything. Misato, well Ritsuko could accept Misato was exploiting Shinji's insecurities for personal gain. Quick to pick up on Asuka's bashing of the First child though, "Not liking Shinji and Ayanami together? I can understand after what I found in her after the last angel. That must have been awkward for you."
Rei…Gendo had asked Ritsuko to prep the third body for the girl. Set up an accident or when the next angel came and replace the girl. A broken tool had no purpose, no reason to keep. Would Gendo do that to her, Ritsuko thought, if she lost her usefulness? Her hands shook unconsciously as she thought of it. Gendo had seemed so fixated on Rei it made Ritsuko jealous of the girl a little…but he was so casually dismissing the girl. The issues the girl had could be fixed, no reason to kill and replace her. Yet at the first sign of defect Gendo wanted her replaced. He wouldn't do that to her…right?
Getting out of her seat, Asuka marched with her arms still folded to Ritsuko. Leaning over, showing a slip of her pink bra, "That is why I'm trying to get Shinji to wake up. That girl has problems. He didn't…he was so adamant that they not do it, wait till later. But she just kept pushing him, it was sick. I thought guys were supposed to be the perverts, but damn if that girl isn't a nympho or something. But you know that don't you…why you can't look him in the eye when he's in the room." Asuka bore down challenging Ritsuko to refute her claim.
"I want Misato to be here to tell him. He'll…he'll take it better from her. I'm sure you see how Shinji and Misato are together, little brother and sister. Broken family brought together…he'll accept it if she tells him its for Ayanami's own good," Ritsuko felt shame wash over her. This damn teenager had seen through her little subterfuge and pegged her right. Now Asuka didn't know the whole truth, Gendo's plan to kill the girl, but she saw enough. Holding her hand up she just prayed Asuka didn't take matters into her own hand, "Don't tell him right now alright. Let him…lets just have a nice supper before we ruin things."
What Ritsuko expected didn't happen, Asuka didn't go off on a rant or run over to tattle on the nasty lying adults. No, Asuka's firm mask of indifference opened up into a glorious smile and her eyes twinkled with forbidden joy. "Thank god, she going to move out of that apartment then?" Asuka had already sat back down and flipped the station. A stupid teen show, school kids playing pranks on one another, started playing and she was intently watching.
"Most likely, keep her one base to keep an eye on her and monitor her recovery," Ritsuko couldn't take here eyes off the girl. Asuka was happy about this? Did she hate Shinji that much that she wanted what happiness he had ruined, or was she happy Rei was going to suffer? Not her place to judge or even comment on. What was going to happen was going to happen. But Ritsuko did have one thing left to use against the girl, "Oh and I noticed something odd in your post battle physical, Asuka. If you don't want Shinji or Misato to know of your activates…I'll keep my mouth shut if you keep yours."
Asuka bristled at the threat, rubbing her arms quickly before cracking her knuckles. Before the girl could retort though, Shinji's voice called from the table, "Foods ready, do you want to eat in there or in here?"
"I won't say a word if you don't, and I promise that. Be good today and you can fuck to your hearts content Asuka. You're like Ayanami and Shinji-kun, sterile right now. Just don't go getting any STD's and you'll have no problems from me," Ritsuko said softly as she forced her aching body off the couch. Damn her joints were in agony, Gendo had been rough again. It helped him release his stress though, man had so much tension and burden on his shoulders. A little punch here and there from the man she loved, Ritsuko could handle that.
'He'll throw you away just as fast if not faster than Ayanami,' Ritsuko's mind was so keen to tell her. Damn voice needed to shut up.
Calling out to the boy she heard moving about in the kitchen again, "I'll eat in here with you Shinji-kun. But could you make me a nice drink, think I'll stay the night tonight. Have a nice meal and a drink, talk with Misato. Been ages since we did that." Ritsuko pitched forward as Asuka shoulder checked her on her way to her own seat. Oops did she take advantage of Shinji by asking for a drink? Asuka was again showing that odd ownership of Shinji…maybe that was why she was happy Rei was gone?
"I'll have a soda if we have any left Shinji. And Hikari is coming over later so we'll be in my room, don't want to bother the lushes," Asuka's stare at Ritsuko was icy. Helping herself to a big plate of food, western dishes that looked complex and fattening, Asuka fell heavily into her seat.
With the two women having a cold war of veiled threats and unbridled hostility, Shinji found the dinette set silent when he presented both their drinks. "Thought you'd like to try some stroganoff, Ritsuko-san. It is one of Asuka's favorites, and I like it too," he kept fiddling with his hands. Nervous, his whole core radiated it, he stunk of it, and both of his companions knew why. Favoring himself with some water, he put little on his plate. Kid didn't have an appetite and it showed in his lowering weight. "So why is Misato-san so late? She's normally home by now," Shinji picked at his food.
"Can't tell you, but I can call her later if you want. Maybe something came up, she is important so such things aren't uncommon," Ritsuko guessed. Pushing the noodles and beef around on her plate, Ritsuko sniffed the rich aroma of the sauce. It tantalized her olfactory senses quite lovely, sucks for Misato to miss it fresh. Taking a bite she closed her eyes to savor it, "I can see why she likes it. And I can see those bruises are healing nicely. Anything you want to say about those?" It was impossible to turn off the sense of duty in the woman.
Taking in big bites, making a mess of the table as she slurped it up and sent sauce flying, Asuka tapped her can on the table to silence the boy. Leaning her chair back she let it fall and crack loudly in the still of the room, "I told you already about it. Why you have to badger that idiot. If he wants to get hurt protecting some stupid girl's honor why can't you let him? If it's that big of a deal why did I see that ass that hit him at school today? Can't Nerv make him vanish or something?"
They could and did, Ritsuko knew this. Rei was going to go down that path soon, oh so very soon. Replaced with a girl that would look just like the old, maybe remember a little of the last…how much nobody could know. "Asuka, Nerv isn't above the law. That boy hurt Shinji but nothing serious. And his father's company makes some of the metal plating for the Eva's. So we can't go burning bridges can we. Some things can't be taken back once destroyed," she threatened. Asuka was playing with fire, and Ritsuko wasn't having any of it.
"It's like Asuka said, Ritsuko-san. I couldn't let that girl be abused as Fukuyama intended to. A few punches is a small price to pay for that," Shinji kept his eye on his plate. After that the trio ate in silence. Shinji not wanting to cause any strife, Asuka was flustered, and Ritsuko just enjoyed a rare peaceful evening. After the food was destroyed, a plate covered for Misato at Shinji's insistence, Ritsuko helped him with the dishes. Asuka took to the shower, and when Hikari did show up the girls retired to Asuka's room.
Sitting on the couch, Shinji on the opposite side, Ritsuko sighed contently as the news droned on. "You didn't ask the question, Shinji-kun, I can see it eating at you. Why don't you just…ask," Ritsuko felt herself grow cold. Was she going to do it, tell him the truth? Maybe favor him with a small lie, say Rei was going to get help and return to him. Reaching her hand out across the empty cushion, she felt the need to offer some physical contact. This boy was so like her, so vulnerable and lost in a world that didn't care.
"If I asked…then I'd know the answer. And as long as I don't hear it I can have hope, Ritsuko-san," Shinji sniffed hard and his eyes went glassy. He knew, or at least suspected the outcome already. He didn't take her offer of her hand, but Shinji did smile at her and it nearly broke her heart. Kid was about to cry, but was smiling so earnestly it was painful. Shaking his head, "I love her, but I can see that…" He aborted his statement and just dripped his head again.
Wincing as she pulled her hand back, Ritsuko's self hatred spiked to dangerous levels. She was helping Gendo to kill this boy and girl's happiness. It was a teenage romance, likely to wither on its own in time, but Gendo had to have his way. Was it worth his love to be the right hand of the devil? If it meant he kept her at his side…Ritsuko already had the plan in her mind. Increase the pressure of the LCL until it caused the girl to faint. Painless and easy, once she was out a little injection would stop Rei's heart. A heart that beat for Shinji, and Gendo couldn't have that. "I'm sorry Shinji-kun," was all she said.
"Your shoulder hurt? Would you like a massage? Might help release the…the tension," Shinji fought back his emotions again. They were painfully evident on his crushed face, but he wouldn't let it over take him. The news caster spoke of increase in crime in Tokyo-3, the departure of more of the citizens, and growing unrest in the America's. Asuka and her friend could be heard gabbing in the other room. "I wouldn't…mind," it came out bland and lifeless.
Shifting to the ground, she reclined between his legs, and sent a silent curse at Asuka. She had wanted one since she got there, but wouldn't let herself ask, Asuka's comment about using Shinji fresh in her mind. But the boy had magic fingers, and her body hurt so much. It was wrong of her, to take more from the boy she was taking so much from, but she couldn't help it. "If you wouldn't mind, and if you…don't want to make me lunches anymore I'll understand. Not right for me to force that on you-oooh," she cooed as his skilled fingers went to work.
"Not forcing me, I like helping others if I can," Shinji tried to force some cheer into it. Firm and precise he worked her shoulders and neck like sculptors putty. Her body rocked and bucked as he did his thing, leaning forward so he could hit her spine. Using his thumbs at each vertebrae and his other fingers and the flesh of her back, he didn't speak. Ritsuko's moans were proof enough she was enjoying it. And gods was she, for a moment…a hidden and forbidden thought popped in to Ritsuko's head.
'I could get to like this…like him.'
Her legs wiggled to mask the smell that was likely coming out of it. A smell Shinji would recognize thanks to Rei. She was, damn if Ritsuko wasn't getting powerfully turned on by this. Pleasure at the hands of a man that respected and maybe cared something for her. Bighting back on a yelp as her hand accidentally brushed her bud, her body was electrified. It all ended though, her on the brink of a powerful orgasm, something she hadn't had in ages, when the doorbell rang.
"I'll be right back," Shinji crawled over the couch to get to the door. It opened and his voice echoed in the emptiness. Kaji was talking to him, and a belligerent Misato was fighting about something. Then the door shut, and Shinji came back with Misato listing against him with her arm over his shoulder. "Just sit down for a minute Misato-san and I'll get you some water," he put her in the chair by the couch and offered Ritsuko a half shrug. Party was over, Misato the queen of the castle was demanding attention.
With Shinji off, Misato reclined in her chair head parallel to the ground. "What smells like…Shinji-kun you didn't fuck somebody in this room did you? Smells like somebody had a good time," oh how she could be crude when drunk. Not yelling this time, only for Ritsuko to hear, "Damn I miss a good bout of sex. Stupid men, stupid everything. Rits…sorry for being late. Went out with Kaji to get drunk, maybe laid. Turned in my report, that girl needs help and not from Shinji so said to keep 'm 'part."
Seeing Shinji in the doorway with a glass of water, Ritsuko wanted to throttle Misato for her idiocy. Always with an excuse though, Misato would blame booze for her slipped tongue in the morning. No gentle breaking it to him, no dancing around the issue, he knew point blank now. "Shinji-kun, say something," Ritsuko asked of him, as he handed the water to Misato.
"I knew it…knew it would be taken from me…us," Shinji ran off to his room and shut the door. Misato was already snoring, damn bitch! Just ruining a boy's hopes and not even realizing it. Selfish and stupid, queen Misato couldn't be bothered with normal people problems. And it wasn't a surprise in the morning, when Misato took her aspirin and asked what happened last night, they found Shinji's room empty. A note just said 'I'm not running away, just need to clear my head.'
X-X
Knowing something was going to happen and actually having it happen, Shinji was learning, were two different things. Staring down at the print-out of yesterdays school work, he just couldn't get himself to work it. What did it matter, he'd likely not live past this year anyway. Nothing mattered in the end, well nothing he cared about mattered in the grand scheme of things. He had known that Nerv would step in and separate Rei and him, just knew it. But he had to have that sliver of hope Misato would help him. "But she's just like everybody else," he grabbed and balled up the paper.
Hikari quickly turned from her work at the sound and started to get out of her seat. "Something wrong, Ikari-kun? I mean…other than…" that look she gave him. Shinji hated that look, that pitiful expression of sympathy. Hikari had been at the apartment after Misato spilled the beans, Hikari knew which meant everybody would know soon. Girls…they gabbed and had secrets and plans…couldn't be trusted. Rei could be though, she was different than the others.
And now she was gone.
"I'm fine, Hokari-san, just a little frustrated is all," Shinji prayed she didn't come over. If he got a good look at her pity he'd break down again. Tired of crying, he was so sick of being sad. Unfolding the paper, the pristine flatness obliterated with crinkles and jagged edges, he smoothed it as best he could. All night he'd walked and fought back tears. Going all over town to places Rei and he had their sparse dates. Gone, never to happen again. But why?! Why was it so wrong Rei as a little possessive of their relationship? Rei had so little in life, what was wrong with protecting the one thing she did have worth protecting.
Either sensing Shinji's strife or just her nature, Hikari did come over and gently put her hand on Shinji's shoulder. She pulled back when he jerked away from her, "Sorry to startle you. Want some help with that?" she was eye level, bending at the knees to gauge him better. Her freckles stood out in the early morning light, her thin lips had a sheen of gloss on them, simple yet beautiful. Shinji looked away when she spoke again, "Sorry about last night, about Ayanami-kun. Asuka filled me in on what was going on after you went to your room."
Go away, just go away and leave me with my misery, was what he wanted to say but couldn't. "I know it's for a good reason, we have to be focused on the angels and all. But it still hurts," Shinji wasn't stupid or love blind. Nerv, no Misato and Ritsuko, had good reason to worry, but Shinji just couldn't accept it. At Nerv Rei was all business, never wavering. The incident after the last angel wasn't bad, hell he WANTED to make love to Rei as well, just not outside with Asuka so close. Re-reading the question he was on for the twentieth time, "And I'll get this. B-but if you wouldn't mind, could you l-leave me alone for a little while?" He set his pencil to page.
"You're not alone, Ik-Shinji-kun, you've friends. And its not like Ayanami-san is dead or anything. Maybe in a little while things will get better. Don't let this get you to down, alright?" that damn sympathy poured out of her like water. Her hand trailed down his back as she walked away without waiting for a response. Shinji couldn't help but notice the sway of her hips, the curve of her behind, Touji had good taste. Damn his loneliness was hitting him in odd ways.
Bludgeoning his way through the paper as best he could, memories of his time with Rei kept interrupting him. If it wasn't his time with Rei, it was visions of Misato and Ritsuko mocking him. Lies and illusions he knew, but he could just envision them doing it spitefully. All must see Nerv as first in their life! Anything else must be torn down and cast aside for the agency! Live for Nerv, Die for Nerv, nothing else matters slave! "Misato-san isn't like that though…" he didn't want to be angry at Misato, but it was damn easy to be.
"Hey Shin-man!" Touji and Kensuke were walking towards him. How had time slipped away? Shinji hadn't even finished that one question yet, but more students were around now, twenty minutes had passed of him just staring! Pulling a seat around, Touji straddled it and leaned on the back, "You look like shit man. What happened, the devil ride you all night or something?"
Slapping Touji's hat off, Kensuke sat more conservatively on a flanking chair. Pulling out his school books, "Forget him man. More rumors are going around about Soryu and you. People are saying you got into another fight with Fukuyama and she stepped in and trounced him. Then you two left school together, Tachibana was crazy worried." Kensuke looked over at the girl he mentioned who was over with Asuka's clique.
Great more things he didn't want to deal with, Sakura Tachibana. With the news of his forced parting from Rei, that girl was going to pounce on him like a lion on a wounded gazelle. Dropping his pencil, fuck the homework, Shinji sighed, "Well those rumors are true. Fukuyama was trying to extort me for the other fight. Asuka stepped in and put him in his place. Then I just wanted to not be here yesterday and went home, she followed to make sure I wasn't hurt." I stretch of the truth, Shinji was worried about Asuka not the other way around, but close enough to reality. Asuka's outburst had scared the hell out of him.
"Glad somebody beat that guy. Tired of him bragging about all the tail he gets. If my dad was super rich and I could just buy girls…" Touji shut his mouth. Best not to confirm yourself a pervert and let others speculate. Scooting his chair in closer, Touji leaned in and took a deep probing look at Shinji's face. Demonstrating the care most not knowing him capable of, "Something happened with Ayanami and you didn't it. You got that look on your face. Same look Junpei had after Rise dumped him. You doing alright?"
Why does everybody ask that question? Shinji wasn't doing alight, why would they think he was? The thing that gave him the most happiness in his barren life was stripped from him, how the FUCK was he to be happy? His hands trembled and formed fists, his anger rising again, he fought it back to keep from exploding. Not Touji's fault, or Kensuke's, or even Sakura's…it was his fault for getting his hopes up, for thinking things would last.
Feeling a little pain in his hand, Shinji opened it to see crescent cuts from his nails, he'd squeezed his fist to hard. Nobody saw it so he relaxed, "Nerv is stepping in to separate us. For how long I don't know. After the fight Rei-chan had with you, and an episode after the last angel they're worried about her. Want to make sure she's still able to pilot without hindrance. Nerv comes first, our wants second." His shoulders sagged, saying it made things more official even to him. Good reason, but still pained reality.
"Damn that sucks man. We know how much you care about her, and it was obvious how much she cares for you. But you said it yourself, its not permanent right?" Kensuke tried to put a happy spin on things. Laptop open though, he was plugging away on something.
It was permanent though, Shinji knew that! His father, his damn prick of a father didn't like Rei not being under thumb! Somehow he got Misato and Ritsuko to do his bidding, and now it was over. "Yeah, that is true. Might not be that long," Shinji just felt hollow. The room seemed bigger to him, everybody was looking at him it seemed. Locking eyes with Sakura, Shinji was stuck, she was…was she sad? Was it more damn pity?! Damn world just looked down on him all the time! Why couldn't they just leave him alone, let him drown himself in his tears. Pass him by like they used to…not this damn fake caring!
No…no-no-no, Sakura was getting out of her seat and walking over to them. Determination and purpose in each small step she took. And there standing before his desk, she put her hand on top of his. "I-Shinji-san, Asuka told me about last night. I know you don't want to think about it now. But…but when you're feeling better, would you like to go on a date with me? I-I lied before when I said I didn't like you. I really-really do…ok?" so fragile and delicate, her feelings were in her hand.
That soft touch, hands balmy and slick with sweat of nerves, Shinji noticed she painted her nails pink. It suited the girl, and he slowly made the visual trek along that hand to her chest, larger than Rei's, supple and plump, and then to her face. "I'll think about it, Tachibana-san," he just couldn't crush her. Girl was like he was, timid and fearful…no she was better than he was. Sakura saw something she wanted and took the chance, he didn't want to do that anymore. She smiled, her lips parted showing perfect teeth, and she walked off. Were those lips soft like Rei's, would a kiss taste as sweet or would it be more lies?
"There you go Shin-man! See this doesn't have to be a bad thing. Tachibana is smoking hot! Bet the girl would do anything you say! And didn't we tell you before she dug you? Makes me wonder why she lied about it before though," Touji gave Shinji a few congratulatory back slaps. His head bobbed, anther insipid grin on his face, Touji just didn't understand!
That spike of anger rose again, but again Shinji swallowed it down, formed it into a ball of animosity, black inky hatred. Clenching his teeth, reminding himself these were his friends and trying their best to cheer him up, "Touji…emotions are like a damn shirt that I can change. Tachibana hurt me when she lied…I got my hopes up and she cut them into pieces. Then Rei-chan helped me put things together again…gave me hope again. Now…now that's gone. I just know Nerv will come up with something to keep us apart. So no…this is a bad thing. I can't just switch from caring about Rei to her…not when I know she'll just hurt me again." He panted and gripped the edge of his desk, even though he had whispered he was winded.
The two boys were stunned for a moment, just pulling back and wide eyed. Kensuke recovered quicker and shook his head, "Guess you have a point. We did put you up to talking to her before and she shot you down like a bitch. I can't relate, never asked a girl out. Sorry for trying to…I don't know push you to fast about this shit. Want to go out with us for some games or something after school? Get your mind of things, and keep her from stalking you?" Kensuke smiled a little and flinched his head at the girl, "Bet she has a shrine of pictures of you and a hair doll or something."
"That's sick!" both Shinji and Touji chimed in. But then the started laughing at the absurdity of it. Taking a deep breath, Shinji nodded, "Sure guys, be good to do something to get my mind off this. And to keep me from going home a little longer. I'm a little upset at Misato-san right now." An understatement of their ever was one, but Shinji could feel that it was already abating. Misato was just doing what she thought was best, and part of Shinji realized it. If they failed fighting the angels, people would get hurt or die. If Rei couldn't focus on fighting because she was worried about him…
It still hurt though, the wound was fresh and bleeding.
School was long and tedious, lunch doubly so since he hadn't made a lunch. Color him shocked when Asuka handed him one. It wasn't the best, but the gesture more than made up for the lack of flavor. No ceremony, no corny words of understanding and sympathy, she simply said 'you forgot this' handed it over and left. Girl didn't want to give guys a reason to gossip or misunderstand her actions. Once school ended, Shinji had to again suffer Sakura's non-subtle attempts to replace Rei, but Touji saved him there. Grabbed his arm and told Sakura that Shinji had plans already and they headed off. The arcade had been a nice distraction, Shinji finally played a few of the more violent games he didn't normally care for. He sucked at them, but it got out some of his pent up anger. But all things had to end, and eventually he found himself back at the apartment.
"I'm home," he announced to the place he called home. Misato's shoes and jacket were where Shinji liked them to be. Meant she was home, not what he wanted. She'd want to talk, reinforce why she was right and get him to agree to it. His own story of acceptance was on his lips, worked out and practiced in his mind, ready to placate Misato. Finding Misato in the kitchen nursing that looked like her fifth beer, "Misato-san, you shouldn't drink that much so early."
Knocking the empties over, Misato pushed herself up from her laying position. "Shin-chan, you're back late. Was worried I'd have to send Asuka out to get you," she slurred and blinked unevenly. Checking the cans individually till she found one with some golden salve left in it, "Want to talk about things? You probably have some questions about our decision."
"You have your reasons, Misato-san, I realize that. It's not like you're doing this just to spite us or anything," Shinji preempted her. Try as he might, Shinji just couldn't stay mad at Misato, he cared to much for her. Taking her empty cans, he put them in the recycled bag, "It hurts, but eventually Rei-chan will prove to you she's fine…that everything is fine." Damn he was having hope again, putting is faith in Misato again…it was wrong of him but he couldn't help it. This woman took him in, cared for him, she was the closest thing to family, he HAD to trust her a little. Pleadingly he turned to her, "Right, Misato-san, you'll give her a chance to prove she's fine?"
Moving quickly yet stumbling, Misato enveloped the boy in a fierce hug and actually lifted him off the ground. "Of-of course we will, Shin-chan, of course. It's for both your own goods. The instant she shows she's in the green she'll be right next door again," the stench of alcohol was all over her, permeated her. Stroking his hair, "And you can cry if you want Shin-chan…its ok to. I can see it on your face, see it haunting you…it's a face I see in the mirror all the time. Don't…don't hold it in." Just how much had she had before Shinji got home?
He didn't ask, didn't want to know what she meant by her comment, but Shinji felt the trickling start. Misato had lied to him, lied again to him, but it wasn't really a lie when everybody knew it. And that's when Shinji finally did start crying. Not a lot, he'd never let himself be that open, but enough to dampen Misato's shirt. They ordered out for supper, Misato even paid for it, Asuka joined them and they ate in silence. What was their really to say, it was a funeral meal, honoring the death of Shinji and Rei's relationship.
X-X
"Are you sure about this Gendo? Both Akagi and Katsuragi's reports indicate it's only a mild case. In time we can wean her back into the fold," Kozo asked. Walking with his hands clasped behind his back, the aged professor followed the pace Gendo set. Have read both reports himself, Kozo didn't think Rei's fixation was all that problematic. It gave the girl more reason to dedicate herself to the task, not less. Just order her not to fight others outside of Nerv and reinforce where her allegiance lied with, not kill her.
Standing outside of Rei's room, Gendo watched her through the small window in the door. "She was warned about this, professor. A broken tool needs to be replaced. The time is drawing nearer, and I will not risk the whole scenario for the whims of a teenager," he flexed his hand and pulled his gloves on tighter.
Joining Gendo in watching the girl, she just sat reading a magazine Shinji had brought in for her. One of many magazines and books actually, the boy doted on Rei and it actually made Kozo happy. To see Yui's son happy, in love, well Kozo wasn't that old and jaded to not find beauty in that. "But why rush it? There is a chance she'll die in combat without you needing to be jealous of your son's effect on her. Let them be happy, use that happiness to keep both in line. Don't be a monster," Kozo tried to appeal to Gendo's humanity, if any remained.
Gendo just smirked and fixed his glasses, "Sentimental old man, you've grown too sentimental. She isn't human, she's just an instrument of the game you helped create. Don't be getting cold feet now. Akagi is already prepping the next body for the core transplant. The next Rei will be ready and without these bothersome ties to the Third." Gendo reached for the door to Rei's room but halted and put pocketed his hands instead.
Coward couldn't even face the girl he was going to have executed, Kozo didn't make a move to enter the room either though. Poor thing, what did Gendo expect would happen to her? A bird in a cage, one Gendo would take out to look at and remember the past and then put back away. A child…a young woman that had lived in squalor and without any of the basic stampings of happiness found love in a boy and like a junkyard dog wouldn't release it. Anybody in Rei's place would have done the same or worse. It wasn't right, wasn't fair what was happening to this girl.
"So what now then? The council will likely find out about this, and they won't be happy," Kozo went for the other approach. If sentimentality couldn't get Gendo to change his mind, maybe fear of losing face with Seele? The two men walked deeper into Terminal Dogma, armed men saluted them as they passed check point after check point. After a card scanner, each entering individually, it was just them. Kozo was lead to the tank of the spares, he hated that room. Yes he had been a part of the plan to force instrumentality, but cloning Yui had not been his idea.
Opening the room, the orange light bathed them both, they entered and saw the tank. Dozens of Ayanami Rei's floated lifelessly, faces devoid of expression, they appeared to watch them. Soulless dolls, anything they attributed to them was just their minds playing tricks on them. "Next we deal with the Fukuyama conglomerate. They are demanding an apology for the Second's hospitalizing the founder's child. We warned them about attacking the pilots, he didn't listen," Gendo touched the tank tenderly.
"Something is different in there, Gendo, they're not how they used to be," Kozo joined Gendo at the tank. Before they were smiling, they giggled, as they floated, but now those abominations just glared. What did they truly create with Ayanami Rei, could they really control her? Unable to keep looking at the naked bodies of a woman he once loved, "And what are you suggesting we do about this issue? We need the supplies from them to keep the Eva's functional?"
Head cocked back just a bit, Gendo favored one of the variant clones that floated. Not all of the Rei's looked the same, cloning wasn't an exact science when some of the DNA was alien to man. "We tell Genma to ship that boy of his off to England or he'll have an accident. I don't care if the boy was fucking the Second Child, but we cannot have the pilots being hurt outside of battle. The boy leaves or he dies, simple as that. Take care of it," Gendo flicked his hand dismissively.
Seeing the clone that got Gendo's fancy, Kozo shuttered. It was a bigger clone, looked older and closer to Yui's actual age. "I'll see to it now then. Don't stay down here to long you have to meet with Kehl later," Kozo reminded the absent minded commander. Wrong, it was wrong! Gendo was eye humping a clone of a girl he was going to have killed. Killed for having a little happiness in life! Gendo was using Ritsuko, was using him, was using everybody. Finding himself back outside of Rei's room, Kozo banged his hand on the door, "Well maybe I can't stop this…but I can let you have a little joy until the end."
Opening the door, Kozo went in with a quick stutter step. Rei quickly got off her bed and stood at attention. "Sir," she immediately stated and was ready for orders. Truly a child that would betray everybody. Fool, Gendo was a damn fool.
"You're released Ayanami. Go home," Kozo gestured to the door with a broad smile. What he was doing was wrong too here, but fuck it! Let the girl have at least some joy while she could, let the council and Gendo try and punish him. What could they do to him anyway? They needed him alive and able to work, so he had those cold hearted pricks sit on a cold one and spin! "Be careful going home though, its late. And say hi to Ikari-kun in the morning for me," he stood to the side and let her pass.
Girl didn't second guess or question, she just saluted the sub-commander and left quickly. Kozo watched her go, it was truly late, just after midnight, hopefully the girl was safe…Kozo suspected anybody that got in her way would face the whirlwind anyway. He then dealt with the Fukuyama organization, and the father was expectedly furious at the ultimatum. That was until Fuyutski told the man of the alternative, Kazuma would be out of the country by the end of the week.
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Authors Notes
Fall out is always fun to do, and I'm betting therapeutic for some. I think Asuka would be the type to savor revenge like a fine wine. Balancing the whole emotional spectrum of relationships is hard too, don't want to go super depressing yet want to convey the pain of actually losing a loved one, hope you enjoyed it and agree.
And while I'm not one to give plot spoilers I will tell you guys one thing that you might really like or hate based on your preferences, this will not turn into a Shinji/Asuka story. In this they truly are going to be more siblings and not lovers so take that for what it is worth.
Ja Mata
Zentrodie