Another chapter!
Thank you for the continuing support, it's incredibly encouraging.
XX
Andy collapsed on the couch. She felt drained, this probably was the longest day of her life. At first she had Sam to worry about, she feared for his life. When they finally found out he was okay, she knew she had to come clean to him. In a way it felt like there was a weight lifted off her shoulders. Another part of her feared what would happen next.
Sam had been great. He was hurt, of course, but like always he looked out for her well being first. Andy couldn't even find words to describe how it felt to be in his arms again, that was the place where she felt safer than anywhere else.
Right now she was afraid, she was afraid that people at work would look at her different. Only Sam, Traci, Jerry and Frank knew, but still. Frank wouldn't tell anybody, she confided in him as her boss. Traci wouldn't tell anybody either, she already proved that. She didn't think Sam would tell anybody, Jerry already knew and Sam never discussed personal business with anybody. She wasn't so sure about Jerry though, the guy really didn't like her. He was dating Traci, so that probably meant she would make sure he kept his mouth shut.
Andy startled when her phone started ringing. It was her landline. That was weird, no one ever called her on that number. She got up and walked towards the phone.
''Hello?'' she asked.
''Andy? Thank god, where have you been?'' Traci's voice was filled with concern. ''I left you a couple of voicemails and text messages. You didn't answer your phone and when I went by your place, you weren't there.''
''What's going on?'' Andy asked. She didn't answer her phone more often, mostly because she would forget to charge it. ''Did anything happen?''
''I was worried about you. You had an emotional day and I wanted to make sure you were alright.''
Andy sighed, she could have known Traci would check up on her. Traci didn't project her maternal instinct on just Leo, she used them for their entire group of friends. Whenever something was wrong, she was the one that would notice it. ''I'm okay Trace. I turned off the sound of my cell and I visited Sam, so that's why I wasn't at home.''
''You went to see Swarek?'' Both girls were silent for a few moments. ''What happened?''
''I told him the truth.''
''Wow,'' Traci breathed out. ''How did he react, how did he take it?''
Andy thought back to Sam's reaction. He had been everything she could ask for. ''He took it pretty well. He was pissed, of course, but he was really sweet to me.''
''That's really good sweetie. Are you okay? Do you want me to come over? My mom could watch Leo, I told her you weren't feeling so well, so she already offered.''
''No, you stay with Leo, but thanks for the offer. Really thanks Trace, for everything.'' Andy knew she had the best friends a girl could wish for. Chris was like her big brother, Dov a younger brother and she even valued Gail as a good friend. Still, Traci was her best friend, the one that never asked any question, but was just there for her.
''You did the right thing today. I know it wasn't easy for you.''
''Sometimes I wish I could go back in time,'' Andy said, more to herself than to Traci. ''I was so stupid for leaving him, I thought I was protecting him, I never realised how much I hurt him by just letting go.''
''Maybe you can work it out?'' Traci suggested. ''If there is one thing that is clear to me, than it's that you still love him and he still cares about you.''
Andy wished it was that simple, but it probably wasn't. ''I broke us by leaving Trace. Even if the feelings are still there, the trust is gone.''
''Swarek seems like a good guy, who knows, maybe you'll be able to restore what you guys had.''
''Yeah, maybe.'' Andy didn't sound to convincing, not even to her own ears. ''You should go to bed, you're probably just as exhausted as I am.''
''You really are okay?'' Traci checked again.
''Yeah, promise. Thank you for checking up Traci.''
''What are friends for?''
XX
Two days after the whole Brennan incident, Sam had to go to headquarters. He had gotten one day off to sleep and heal, but the white shirts insisted he came in the day after that. Sam didn't exactly use his free day to sleep and heal, he mostly just paced and worried. He went by Andy's place the day before, he wasn't even sure why. She wasn't there and when he called her, it went directly to voicemail.
After that he went back to his place and found Jerry there. They hung out together for the rest of the day, but didn't really talk about what happened. Jerry tried to bring up the subject 'McNally', but Sam brushed it off. When Jerry asked Sam if he wanted her back, Sam told him to shut up and mind his own business. After that both of them focused on the hockey game they were watching.
At least, Sam pretended to be focused on that. His mind kept wondering back to Andy. He wanted to know if she was alright, but wished he didn't want to know it. He didn't know if he wanted her back, if it would even make sense to get back together with her.
No matter how hurt or afraid she was, she should have told him what was going on. She didn't trust him enough to let him in, she packed up her stuff and left.
Sam agreed to meet Frank at headquarters. As staff sergeant, Frank needed to be there. Frank was already waiting when Sam arrived.
''Boss,'' Sam greeted his friend.
''Sam, how are you feeling?'' Frank asked.
''Fine, nothing that won't heal. Let's get this over with.'' Sam motioned to the door and walked to it. The girl behind the desk told them where they had to go, they took place in a waiting area and waited until someone came for them.
They were waiting for about ten minutes, when all of the sudden Boyd appeared. Apparently he had a meeting with the white shirts before Sam. When Sam saw Boyd, it took everything he had not to stand up and strangle the guy. Sam looked in the other direction and Frank placed a hand on his shoulder. Frank knew Sam well enough to know he wanted to go after Boyd, but he couldn't.
''Sammy, Frank,'' Boyd greeted the two men. He stopped in front of Sam and looked down. ''How you feeling Sam, you feeling okay?''
''Not thanks to you,'' Sam said and clenched his jaw.
''Come on Sammy, it was a mistake.'' Boyd actually had the nerve to smile at Sam.
Sam stood up and made himself a little taller. ''A mistake?'' he asked. ''What was a mistake? Was it a mistake you covered up the murder of a woman and child? Was it a mistake that you gave me a messed up cover story? Or was it a mistake that you tried to rape my girlfriend?'' Sam was standing dangerously close to Boyd now. Frank stood up to and placed a hand on Sam's shoulder.
''Sam, relax, this isn't going to help,'' Frank tried.
Sam shook away Franks hand and turned back to Boyd. ''Which one is it? Because I can promise you that you will pay for all of the above.''
''I don't know what that stupid rookie told you,'' Boyd started, but he was cut off when Sam pushed him against the wall and put his arm against his throat. Boyd tried to struggle, but even with his injuries, Sam clearly had the upper hand.
''Her name is officer McNally and six months on the job she's already ten times the cop you'll ever be.'' Sam felt Franks hand breaking the two men apart. ''You are done,'' Sam added before walking away.
Frank followed Sam and sat down next to him when he found him. ''So, she told you?''
''Yeah, she came by last night.'' Both men were silent for a while. ''Can you give me a good reason not to go back there and kill him?''
''You did the right thing by walking away,'' Frank told Sam. ''I don't even get how they could bring you guys in at the same time, you shouldn't have run into each other.''
''Doesn't matter,'' Sam stated. ''He deserved it.''
''He did,'' Frank agreed. ''But you know just as well as I do, that this case can be compromised if anything else happens between the two of you. I'll back you up on this one, but from now on, keep your distance.''
''I'll try,'' Sam said.
''Sam,'' Frank warned.
''Look Frank, he tried to rape Andy. He's never going to pay for that, because it's her word against his.'' Sam got worked up again. ''I'll stay away from him, but only because nobody benefits from me hurting him.''
''I know it's difficult,'' Frank agreed. ''But it would affect McNally too if you did something stupid. People are already talking, I don't know where the stories come from, but she doesn't need that and neither do you. And no matter what you say right now, you still care about her.''
Sam didn't say anything and stood up after a few moments. ''I'll stay away from him.''
XX
Sam walked into the barn five days later. He was cleared for active duty, desk duty that is. Because of his wrist there was no way he would be able to grip his gun. At least he was back, he reasoned. Desk duty was awful, but spending every day at home wasn't much better. He went by Andy's place two more times this week, but there was no sign of her there. He didn't know what to think of that, if he should think something of that.
Sam took his time getting suit up, he could do desk duty in his sleep, so he didn't care much about parade. Oliver was in the locker room too, already ready for his day.
''You okay brother?'' Oliver asked.
''Fine, sucks that I can't grip my gun.'' Sam tied his shoelaces and grimaced when he felt pain shoot through his hand.
''How long is that going to last?''
''Three to four weeks according to the doctor, so I'll be back in two.'' Sam had no intention keeping up with the doctor's schedule. If he could help it, he would be back as soon as possible.
''Just take it easy, no need to hurt yourself even more.'' Oliver swallowed and approached the subject he was dreading, yet curious about. ''You heard back from internal affairs?''
''No, doubt they'll let me know much anyway. Gave my statement and now it's their case to handle.''
Sam finished getting ready and stood up. ''Let's head to parade.''
''Yeah,'' Oliver said. ''That's good.''
When they reached the parade room, Sam immediately saw Andy sitting in the front row. She was sitting between Nash and Epstein. All the rookies seemed to be discussing something, but McNally wasn't a participant in that discussion.
Frank handed out instructions and dismissed everybody. Sam had enough of Andy's behaviour, so he walked towards Andy. ''McNally, interrogation room 1, now.'' His voice didn't leave any room for discussion, yet Andy tried to argue.
''Sir,'' she started. Sam hated it when she called him that. He knew this was her way of being professional, but he thought it was a load of crap. ''I'm suppose to meet officer Shaw.''
''I'll deal with him,'' Sam informed her. He walked towards the interrogation room and didn't wait for her. Andy had an internal debate for about ten seconds, but then decided to just follow him.
She walked towards the interrogation room and entered. She closed the door behind her and met Sam's eyes as soon as she was inside. They kept looking at each other, but neither of them said anything.
''Sir,'' Andy tried again.
''Cut it with the sir,'' Sam said. ''That's not you.'''
''We're at work.'' Andy looked a little desperate. ''How else am I suppose to call you?''
Sam sighed and ran his hand across his face. ''Just call me Swarek or Sam, I don't care.'' He was silent again. He wanted to see her, he wanted to talk to her, yet he didn't know what to say. This was so foreign to him, she used to be the only person he shared things with. Things that mattered anyway. Even when they were in a good place, it took him quite some effort to talk to her.
''How have you been?'' Andy broke the silence. When Sam didn't answer right away she continued. ''I wanted to see you or call you, but I didn't know if you wanted some space.. So I decided to just leave you alone, but it wasn't because I don't care. I don't want you to think that I don't care.''
''I went by your place,'' Sam admitted. ''More than once actually, but you weren't there.'' He looked her in the eye again and gave a weak smile. ''Also tried to call you, but that went straight to voicemail.''
''I forgot to charge my phone.'' Andy returned the smile, but it didn't reach her eyes, not even a little bit. ''And I haven't been home much, spent a night at Traci's and at my dad's.''
''Is he okay?'' Sam asked. He knew Andy would always be worried about Tommy, with good reason. He hoped Tommy would turn his life around once and for all now.
''Yeah, he's doing really good. He goes to meetings and he's even met a woman there, I think he's happy.'' Andy smiled again, this time it was a little more sincere. ''Look, Sam.. We don't have to.. You owe me nothing, okay?''
''What do you mean?''
''I get it. I would probably be pissed at you too if the roles were reversed.'' Andy shrugged her shoulders and shook her head. She looked at the ground before meeting his eyes again. ''I know I screwed up. If there was any way to take back what happened, I would, believe me.''
''What's done is done,'' Sam said. ''You can't change the past.''
''I know,'' Andy replied.
Sam's head was in conflict. He wanted her, there was no denying that. ''You didn't trust me.''
''I did,'' Andy argued.
''You didn't talk to me. Instead of talking to me, you avoided me and left.'' When Andy tried to speak up, Sam raised his hand, he needed to get this out now. ''I should have seen the signs, I knew something was bothering you and I didn't talk to you either, so we're both to blame here.'' Sam took a deep breath and knew what he needed to do. ''I'm glad you told me now, maybe one day we'll be able to be friends again.''
Andy felt like someone hit her in the stomach. She didn't expect him to jump into her arms, but she also didn't expect him to pull the -one day we'll be able to be friends- card. ''Please don't,'' she practically begged. She could handle working with him, but being friends with him, that was a different story.
''It's for the best,'' Sam said. ''Be safe out there, okay?''
''Yeah, you too,'' Andy replied before leaving the interrogation room. She was not going to cry over this again, not now, not again. She took a few deep breaths before she walked away from him again.
Sam stayed in the interrogation room for at least ten more minutes. He didn't want to hurt her and he knew he was hurting her now. Still, they couldn't just jump back to where they came from. It didn't work that way and even if he still cared about her, that didn't mean they would be good together.
He had to keep his distance, that would be best for both of them.
XX
Oliver knew his rookie was in a mood before she even reached the cruiser. He lived in a house with four females, he could tell when females were upset. His rookie was definitely upset. Oliver tried to ignore it, but when they reached the barn again later that day, the silence became too much for him.
''He'll turn around Andy,'' he said with a gentle tone.
Andy's head immediately snapped up. ''What are you talking about?''
''Sam, I know how he can be.'' Oliver cleared his throat, hoping he wasn't overstepping any boundaries here. ''I don't exactly know what happened, but I've heard a few things.''
''What did you hear?'' Andy asked. If there was anybody she was comfortable having this conversation with, it was Oliver. Oliver had never judged her, never treated her any different than he would have done with another rookie. Oliver was a good guy, reliable, probably the best training officer she could wish for.
''It doesn't matter. You know how it works, sometimes the division is like high school. People will always talk, but as long as you remember that Sam is a good guy.''
''I know that.'' Andy fell back in the passenger seat and closed her eyes. ''Some things are unfixable, no matter what you do about it.''
''Maybe, but it won't always hurt this much. Just keep that in mind.''
''Thanks,'' Andy muttered. ''It will be okay.''
''Yeah, it will,'' Oliver agreed.
When they reached the barn, Oliver and Andy went in separate ways. They were pretty late, so when Oliver reached the locker room, he was the only one in there. Five minutes later Sam walked in, he had spent some time talking to Jerry.
''How was your first day back?'' Oliver asked.
''It was desk duty, but I guess it beats sitting at home,'' Sam answered.
''You gonna let McNally off the hook?'' Oliver asked out of the blue.
Sam gave his friend a pointed look and raised his eyebrows. ''Excuse me?'' If anybody else would have made that comment, Sam would have been pissed. Yet, Oliver is the kind of friend who can say stuff like this and get away with it.
''McNally,'' Oliver repeated. ''I don't know exactly what happened, but if the rumors were true, maybe you should give her another chance.''
''Ollie,'' Sam warned.
''Listen Sam, when you were with her, you were happier than I ever saw you.''
''Yeah and then she left. So what? I let her back in and the moment things go wrong, she leaves again?'' Sam didn't want that, he knew he wouldn't be able to go through another breakup with her. If she would leave again, he would lose himself even more.
''And what if it does work out this time?'' Oliver challenged. ''Don't waste a good thing by keeping score. Sometimes, the best thing is the thing you had.'' Sam bowed his head and ignored Oliver's statement. Oliver picked up his towel and headed towards the shower. ''Think about it buddy.''
XX
''What?'' Andy asked as they walked into the house. ''Are you seriously upset about this?''
''No,'' Sam lied. He put the groceries on the counter and put some stuff in the refrigerator. ''I'm not upset.''
''Okay.'' Andy rolled her eyes and started helping with another bag. ''Whatever you say.''
When everything was tidied up, Sam moved into the living room and turned on the TV. Andy sighed and grabbed her laptop, she had some work to do. An hour later, Sam was still sitting in the living room. A part of Andy was annoyed, another part was slightly amused. Sam was always in control, he had his emotions in check and never showed any vulnerability. In a way it was flattering that she had this affect on him.
Andy stood up and moved over to the couch, she sat down next to Sam and put her head on his shoulder. She gently squeezed his knee and kissed his cheek. ''We only dated for like four months,'' she said.
''Okay.'' Sam didn't turn his gaze from the TV.
Andy let out a chuckle and sat up straight again. ''If it makes you feel any better, I almost forgot about him in the first place.''
''He clearly didn't forget about you.'' Sam finally looked at her and Andy quirked her eyebrow.
''Yeah, well.. I'm kind of unforgettable,'' Andy joked. ''Come on, why are you ignoring me? It's not like I can help it..''
''You could have turned him down,'' Sam argued. ''You didn't have to take the guys number.''
''I tried to.'' Andy really did, but Alex wouldn't take no for an answer and she figured she would just take his number to get rid of him.
Andy and Sam had gone grocery shopping together. Normally one of them would go, but since they both had the day off they decided to go together. Andy had run into an ex when Sam was picking up something he forgot in the previous aisle. She and Alex had dated for four months and had broken up when he cheated on her. Andy wasn't too broken up when she found out, she didn't really see the relationship going anywhere anyway. She was only 19 at the time, not really the time to think about the long haul.
''Okay.'' Sam stood up and walked into the kitchen. ''I'll make dinner.''
''I thought I was cooking?'' Andy asked. When Sam didn't answer she let herself fall back into the cushions and couldn't help but roll her eyes again. Sam was adorable when he was like this, but still, she didn't really see what she did wrong. She was polite to the guy, but she had no intention of ever using Alex phone number.
When Sam was gone for ten minutes, Andy decided she might as well join him. She walked into the kitchen and pressed her face between Sam's shoulder blades. She gave him a kiss there and gently bit his shoulder. ''I love you.''
''I know.'' Sam sighed and turned around. He didn't know why he was acting this way, it was probably stupid.
''What's going on?'' Andy asked. ''You know I don't want his phone number. Not to reminisce about the old days and especially not to ever get back together.'' Sam didn't answer, but just nudges his nose with hers. He pressed their lips together in a small kiss. Andy broke away from him and put her hand on his cheek. ''You know that right?''
''Yeah,'' Sam answered. ''I know.''
''Seriously Sam, where is this coming from? You're not usually this insecure.''
''I'm not insecure, I just don't like other guys looking at you like that.''
''Let them look.'' Andy shrugged her shoulders and laughed. ''You know you're the one I'll come home to at night. You're the one that is allowed to touch me, you're the one I see a future with. Who cares about the rest?''
''You're too smart for your own good, you know that?'' Sam gave Andy a peck on the lips and took a step back. ''You relax, I don't mind cooking.''
''Sure?'' Andy asked. Truth was Sam was the domestic one of the two. She had gotten better at cooking, but her skills weren't nearly as good as his. Plus, he always seemed to like to take care of her.
''Yeah, go I'll let you know when it's ready.''
''I'll set the table,'' Andy promised.
XX
Around 11pm that night, Andy fell asleep with her head in Sam's lap. He looked at the clock and nudged her awake. ''Let's go to bed,'' he said.
''I'm going to shower first.'' Andy let out a yawn. ''I'll be able to get out of bed twenty minutes later tomorrow if I go now. Those twenty minutes mean the world in the morning.''
''You up for company?'' Sam smirked.
''Always.'' Andy let out another yawn and stood up. They flicked out all lights when they made their way upstairs. When they were in the shower, Andy stood with her back to Sam's front. Sam was washing her hair and massaging her scalp. Andy let out a moan and let her head fall back a little. ''You're good at that.''
''Mm.'' Sam pressed his lips to Andy's temple and washed out all the shampoo. When she turned around she slammed her mouth against his. Andy wrapped her arms around Sam's neck and pulled him impossibly closer. She opened her mouth a little and Sam deepened the kiss. His hands were all over her body, he let them roam over her back, arms, sides and front.
Sam backed her up against the wall and put his hands on her rear. He pushed her up and she immediately wrapped her arms around his waist. Neither of them felt the shower turning cold, they were too lost in each other.
XX
Sam turned off the shower and grabbed two towels. They walked to the bedroom together, both feeling bliss. Sam held back the bedcovers, so Andy could crawl in. He followed and she settled her head on his chest with a satisfied sigh.
''What are you getting me for my birthday?'' Andy had a wicked smile on her face. She would turn 22 the next week and Sam had been asking her what she wanted to have on a daily basis. She didn't really need anything, so she kept ignoring him.
''Thought you said you didn't need any presents,'' Sam teased while he rested his eyes.
''Fine, then you're not getting anything for your birthday either.'' Andy knew Sam cared even less about birthday gifts than she did, but she didn't have a better come back. When he didn't respond, she knew how to make him sweat a little. ''You'll be 30 in three weeks, how does that feel?''
Sam groaned and put a pillow over his face. ''Shut up.''
''30, kind of old I've gotta tell you. Maybe it's time I should trade you in for a younger model.'' It was totally meant as a joke, but when Sam turned around, Andy saw the same look in his eyes he had when they came home that afternoon. ''You know I'm joking, right?'' she quickly asked.
''Yeah,'' Sam nodded. ''But I would get it if you wanted to be with someone your own age,'' he added after a second of silence.
''Someone my own age? What the hell Sam? We're eight years apart, that isn't that much.''
''It doesn't have to be,'' Sam agreed. ''But I would understand it if it would be too much for you.''
''Okay, seriously, where is this coming from?'' Andy sat up again, she wasn't tired anymore. Was this Sam's way of saying he wanted to trade her in for an older model?
''Nothing, never mind,'' Sam said when he flicked out the light on his nightstand.
Andy clearly wasn't done yet and turned on the light on her side. ''I do mind. I'm perfectly happy where I am now.'' Sam didn't answer her, but seemed lost in thought. ''Sam, please tell me what is going on, because you are seriously freaking me out here.''
Sam sighed and sat up too. ''Look, I'm not the easiest guy to be with and even if we're only eight years apart, we are in different stages of our lives. I have a career and my path is pretty much laid out for me, you're in school and you can still become anything you want.''
''I want to go to the academy, I told you that,'' Andy softly whispered. ''Do you want me to leave?'' she asked with her voice unstable.
''Selfishly? No,'' Sam answered. ''But if it would be better for you, I'd let you go.''
''I don't want you to let me go, I love you.''
Sam though about everything he said and she said. He wished he kept his mouth shut, he never showed this side of himself to anybody, ever. Truth was, Sam was used to people leaving him alone. Girls were never interested for the long haul and he was okay with that, neither was he until he met Andy. Besides his colleagues he didn't have any friends he was overly attached too. The only person that had always been there, was Sarah and he could go weeks without talking to her too.
''Sam?'' Andy asked in an unsure voice. ''You don't think we're going to last,'' she sadly said. ''You think we're too different.''
Sam cleared his throat and decided to man up. ''Yeah, we're different. So we'll deal with it.''
''So what is this about then?'' Andy wasn't convinced at all.
''Can we just forget about it?'' Sam suggested. ''I promise you that I didn't mean anything by it.'' When Andy kept looking at him with a hurt expression, he pulled her towards him and placed a kiss on the top of her head. ''I'm not used to people sticking around, but that always worked for me. With you that's different.''
All of the sudden his behavior made a little more sense. Sam's past was still mostly a question mark to Andy, all though he really tried to open up to her. She knew his parents were dead, but that they weren't the best parents in the world when they were around. She knew he was dragged from foster house to foster house until Sarah aged out and became his legal guardian. She didn't have much details, he didn't like to talk about it and she didn't want to force him.
It made sense that he thought she would leave one day, it was basically all he knew. ''I don't know what's in our future,'' Andy whispered against his skin. ''But right now, all I want is you; I don't see that changing anytime soon.''
''Okay,'' Sam whispered back. ''You're a wise girl McNally.''
''Wise beyond my age right? Maybe you should consider trading me in then..,'' Andy tried to lighten the mood.
''Nah, like you way too much,'' Sam said before kissing her lazily.
XX
Sam had his truck parked in front of Andy's apartment. It had been two days since his talk with Oliver and he couldn't get Oliver's words out of his head. 'Don't waste a good thing by keeping score.' And now here he was, standing outside her apartment like a stalker, debating his next move.
He could go in, they could talk things out and get back together. That was what his heart wanted, he wanted to forget about all the hurt and have her in his arms again.
He could go in, talk to her and they could come to the conclusion that too much had happened. Maybe she didn't even want him back. That was what he feared, because that would make it final. At least now he had some sort of hope to hold on to.
He could go back to his house too, leave things the way they are and try to move on. That was what his head wanted. He wanted to be able to let her go. In the past year that tactic had proven itself very unsuccessful.
Sam waited a few more moments and felt his heart skip a beat when he saw Andy walk up to her apartment. Apparently she hadn't even been home while he was having an inner conversation. She wasn't alone though, she had the rest of the rookies with her. Epstein was holding a bag, probably with groceries and Diaz was carrying a bag from a Chinese takeout place. Sam's gaze landed on Andy again, she was laughing and looked happy.
Sam knew the rookies got together every now and then and spent an entire evening watching movies and eating. Peck had told him about it when she showed up at work slightly hung over one time. This probably was a night like this.
There was no way Sam was going in there with an audience, so he started the truck again. The decision was made.
At least for tonight.
XX
The next few weeks went by very slow. Because of Sam's wrist he was stuck at the barn every day. Andy was partnered with Oliver every day, that meant they didn't see much of each other.
Andy was very much fine with that, she knew she deserved everything he said to her. Still, there was a little part of her that wished that things could go back to the way things were. Maybe not completely to the way things were, they both had a lot of baggage now. A lot of baggage with each other, but for a moment Andy believed they could make it work.
She didn't resent Sam for his decision. He had a good right not wanting her back, there probably would be very little people who would take someone back after what she did. She couldn't help but hope though, when he took her in his arms after she told him the real reason she left, it felt like them again for a moment. But he didn't want her back, he made that clear, she needed to make her peace with that and move on.
So every day she put on a brave face and went to work. Every time she ran into him she greeted him politely and every day she tried to avoid the looks people were shooting at her. She didn't know how, but people seemed to know more than Andy wanted them too.
When Andy walked into parade, she was almost late. The moment she sat down, Frank started giving out assignments. Andy nearly choked on her coffee when Best told them who was partnered with who today. ''Peck – Williams, Epstein – Shaw, McNally – Swarek and Nash and Diaz will help the D's.''
Andy made eye contact with Sam, he looked like he was just as surprised as she was.
''You okay?'' Traci asked her best friend.
Andy blew a hair from her face and quickly looked up. ''Yeah, yeah sure, I'll be fine.''
Traci eyed her friend and raised her eyebrows. Andy had been good lately, she smiled a lot more and didn't seem to carry the weight of the world on her shoulders anymore.
''I promise Trace, it's fine..'' Andy looked back at Sam for a moment and nodded. ''We can be professional and things haven't been so awkward lately.''
''You haven't seen each other alone lately,'' Traci reasoned.
''Well, that's true too, but I can handle this. I'm fine.'' Andy shrugged and backed away from Traci. ''I'll just get us a coffee, maybe that will break the ice.''
''Good luck,'' Traci yelled after her.
Andy quickly grabbed herself and Sam a cup of coffee, she never drove with him before, but it was sort of an unwritten rule that the rookies would bring coffee for their TO's. When she had everything, she walked towards the cruiser. Sam opened the door for her and she held out his coffee.
''Thanks,'' Sam said. He walked towards the other door and got in the car. The silence was a little uncomfortable, even for him.
''So, first day back?'' Andy asked.
''Well, first day back on the street, yes.'' Silence washed over them once again. ''Look, Oliver gave you the talk? My car, my rules..''
''Don't touch anything unless you tell me to, don't say anything unless you tell me to and don't move unless you told me to. Yup, got it,'' Andy filled in.
Sam drove around until lunchtime. They only got three calls, nothing too big. Despite the awkwardness, they worked well together. Sam always knew she would be a good cop and today she was proving that too him.
''Diner okay?'' Sam asked when it was time for them to eat.
''Yeah, fine.''
Sam parked the cruiser and together they walked towards the diner. They ordered lunch and silence overtook them again. Sam was playing with a coaster and Andy was fidgeting with her hands.
When their food finally arrived, Andy sighed with relief. While she was eating she looked up at Sam, who was looking around the diner.
''This is really awkward,'' she started. ''We are not going to talk at all?''
Sam looked up at her now and quirked an eyebrow. He had an amused expression on his face, apparently he took pleasure out of her discomfort. ''What do you want to talk about McNally?''
Andy widened her eyes and looked down again. ''Don't know.'' Andy tried to figure out what Sam was looking at, but she didn't see anything out of the ordinary. ''I like the autumn,'' she tried again. ''The leaves, and the colour of the..'' Andy paused for a moment. ''Leaves and stuff,'' she muttered.
''You know, you are the one that is making this awkward,'' Sam pointed out.
''I am doing everything I can to make this feel even a little bit normal,'' Andy protested. ''You know you are stubborn, forget it. I quit, I give up, it's not like it can get more awkward anyway.''
Sam looked at her for two seconds and tried to get the attention of the waitress. ''Miss?'' he called.
''Problem here, officer?'' the waitress asked when she reached their table.
''There is a problem with my BLT,'' Sam replied.
''Really?''
''Yeah, I think you better call a hambulance.''
Andy couldn't keep in her laughter, but the waitress was obviously not amused. ''Can I get you anything else?'' she asked annoyed.
''Well, my partner here was wondering if you have any hen ways on the menu.'' Sam took it a little further.
''What's a hen way?'' By the look on the waitress face, she already knew Sam was screwing with her again.
''About three pounds.'' The waitress sighed and turned around after that.
Andy started laughing out loud now and tried to apologize to the waitress. ''You are such an idiot,'' she pointed out with the biggest smile on her face.
Sam smiled at her and gave her a small wink. After that their day got a lot better. When they got a call about an abandoned warehouse, Andy replied to ditch patch that they would take it. According to the call, there was a guy that was hanging around the warehouse. Someone thought it looked suspicious, so he called it in.
''It's probably nothing,'' Sam explained. ''People like to be on top of things these days. 90% of calls like this, end up dead. When we get there, we'll split up. Keep your radio on and call me if you see anything out of the ordinary. No heroics.''
''Okay,'' Andy confirmed she got it.
When they reached the warehouse, they began clearing the place. Andy started at the top, while Sam started with the basement. When Andy cleared the top floor, Andy tried to radio to Sam, but he didn't respond. ''Officer Swarek?'' she called out again. ''Sam?''
Andy took her gun in her hand and began moving downstairs. When she reached the basement, she walked into a room with her gun pointed in front of her. Sam just rounded the corner, so her gun was right in his face.
''Whoah,'' Sam called out.
Andy let out a breath and holstered her gun again.
''What the hell are you doing?'' Sam practically screamed at her. ''Why are you in the basement and why are you waving your gun around?''
''I tried to radio you, but you didn't reply,'' Andy explained, still shaken up.
Sam checked his radio, but everything was in order. ''No signal,'' he explained. ''Look, there's nothing here. We'll do a quick round together and then head back to the barn, okay?''
''Yeah,'' Andy agreed.
Sam took the lead and walked into another room in the basement, Andy followed him and let the door fall shut behind her. When Sam they saw nothing was in the room, they wanted to walk out of it. Only there was no door knob. Sam let out a sarcastic laugh and turned around.
''Oh, come on,'' Andy muttered. ''We're not stuck in here are we?''
''Looks like it McNally.'' Sam tried to force the door to open, but it wasn't a simple door that he could kick in.
''Damn it, no,'' Andy called out. She grabbed her radio, only to be reminded they didn't have any signal. Then she took her cell phone. ''No signal, figures.''
''Step back,'' Sam said. When Andy looked confused he explained himself. ''I'll fire a few shots at the door, see if it breaks. I don't think it will work, but I can try.''
Andy nodded and took a few steps back. When she was safe Sam fired his gun, nothing happened, so he sighed. ''Doesn't work.''
''What now?'' Andy asked.
Sam looked around the room, there were no windows or anything. ''Did you radio back to ditch patch that you couldn't reach me?''
Andy shook her head, aware of her mistake. ''No, didn't even think about it,'' she admitted ashamed.
Sam wanted to yell at her, but she probably already learned her lesson and seemed a little shaken up. ''Always request for backup when you can't reach your partner.''
''I know, I was just worried. It was a mistake, I'm sorry, okay?'' Andy said.
Sam sighed. ''You're a rookie, you are suppose to make mistakes.''
''Now what?'' Andy asked while she was looking around. There really was no way out of here.
''Now we wait until they come looking for us.'' Sam sat down on the floor.
''How long will that be?''
Sam looked at Andy and smirked. ''That depends how long it will last before someone starts missing us.''
''So..?'' Andy tried.
''So, could be a long time.''
''Awesome,'' Andy muttered.
XX
Authors note: Stuck in a room together, will this be where they talk things out?
I'm sort of running out of ideas for flashbacks. If anybody has any scenes they would like to see in a flashback, tell me, I might use it. Or maybe I'll just leave out the flashbacks, but I like them for this story...