(S2 | About 15 Months after chapter 8)
She spots him between the soldiers before he makes her out in the welcoming party. She's never seen him so tired, so beat, though she notices he's doing his best to cover it, act out the captain's part to its fullest.
"Molly girl!" Mansfield's voice rings through the crowded terminal of Brize Norton, pulling her from her thoughts. She catches Charles eyes darting forward to find her, a look of surprise in his eyes, his eyebrows shooting up when he finally sets eyes on her, a smile spreading across his lips, and she thinks she can see some colour rise in his cheeks. Then Mansfield's head blocks her view as he kisses her on the cheek.
"What you doin' here then girl? Missed us?" he asks absently, quickly realizing he knows the answer. "Ah, right, silly me, sorry 'bout that. Good to see you then. How you been doin'?"
"Mansfield," Charles' voice cuts the confused soldiers blabber as he reaches Molly, "Shut the fuck up."
"Yes sir, sorry, sir" Mansfield mutters, becoming redder by the moment, Molly can't help but giggle. "Molly," Charles breaths her name as he scoops her into a hug. It's briefer than they'd both wish it to be, but he is still on duty in front of his soldiers. "What are you doing here, how did you get here?"
"Good to see you, too, Boss." But there is a smile on her face and relief in her eyes. "Kinders' wife offered me a ride, thought maybe you'd like the surprise. And the company driving home."
"I do. I do. I most definitely do." He chuckles.
Half an hour and many hugs and goodbyes later, they finally stand together at the boot of his car, having dumped his gear in the car.
"Hi," he says bashfully, looking at her, taking her in.
"Hi," she answers, happy, as she leans in for a hug. They stand in each other's arms for a moment, holding each other close, his head buried in the crook of her neck.
"The first time I held you was in this parking lot. You remember that?"
"Always," her answer is but a whisper, but she feels a shudder go through his body as he holds her tighter, breathing her in. "I've missed you."
A car passing by wakes them from their bubble, reminding them they're still in a public place. Disappointed, they let go, each climbing into their seat in the car. Charles turns the car on, and the heating, but then stops everything and just sits there.
"Charles?" she says carefully, a look of worry in her eyes, as she can't read him. She knew it won't be easy, but she wasn't entirely sure what to expect.
"Come sit with me in the back for a moment," he says looking directly at her.
"You what?" her surprise at the odd request leaving her at a loss for words. But Charles is already getting out the car and sliding into the back seat.
"Please, Molls, come here,"
There's something in his voice that prevents her from refusing or arguing with him. She exits the car and climbs into the back seat next to him, but before she can sit properly, he pulls her into his lap, tugging at her pullover.
"Do you have anything under this, take it off" it's as if he's offended by the thick layer between them.
"Charles, what's going on, you're scaring me. I'm wearing a tank top under this, but people can still see us."
"I don't care, Molly, I don't care. I just need to hold you, please." He lifts her top up over her head and she doesn't resist. "Please let me hold you, Molly." His hands already encircling her, pulling her closer to him, leaving no space between them.
She's never seen him like this, frantic, not even when he was shot, not during his recovery. She can feel how scared he is, his eyes shut tight and his head buried again in her neck. It's as though he's trying to shield himself from something, make himself as small as possible against her body, derive strength from it or air. They don't speak for a while, and she lets him lose himself in her, regain himself, as she soothingly caresses his head and nape, her fingers curling into his hair. She knows she's seeing but a glimpse of what this last tour in Kenya had cost him. Communications being bad, and the information delicate, she'd got only the rough details as their mission deteriorated when Georgie was taken, but she knows it was a hard blow, and it took everything he had not to lose more control than he'd already lost.
Eventually, he loosens his grip, still holding her close, tracing her neck and face with butterfly kisses. "I love you. I don't have the words to tell you, Molly, I wish I had, I love you. I've missed you, I'm so happy you're here."
"Me too, Charles, me too. I'm right here," she gently grazes her lips against his, coaxing him into a kiss. It slow and delicate, light, as though he doesn't have the strength for anything more. Eventually, he pulls back, leaning his head back on the seat and pulling her to his chest. She can hear his heartbeat.
"The next few weeks are going to be shit difficult Molly," He takes a moment to breath "not only are we fragged, as you say, there's going to be a hell of an investigation as to how it happened. And I also have the weirdest feeling, it's not over. But I want you to know, Molly, whatever happens, it's not about you, and I love you."
Molly lifts her head to look at him "Charles what-"
"No, Molly, listen, I want you to hear this, I need to say it. Because I may act weird these coming weeks, I may need time or space, I may push you away, and I want you to know I don't mean to. You know how it is to come back, to not fit in the normal… and I'll try to let you in, I don't want to go through this alone, I want to be able to go through this with you… but I might forget, or get lost, or… and I want you to know I don't mean any of it if I go dark. I want you to know I want you, I need you, you're the most important person in my life and you've saved me in more ways and more times than you know, even on this god-awful tour and I can't bear to lose you. So please forgive me if I'm being a dick, or a prick, or a pranny, and please, please, please don't leave me. I promise it will pass, I'll get through it, and I need you for that." He's panting now, almost out of breath, and she can feel him shivering under her.
"Charles, I'm right here, I'm not going anywhere, calm down, I'm right here." She didn't think it was possible for her to love him any more than she already did, but his exposed vulnerability makes her fall in love with him all over again. No one has ever needed her like this. Her heart goes out to him, she wants to protect him, to make him feel safe, to make him feel assured in their connection. To let him know she could never let him go.
For a while she goes on whispering the soothing words, until she notices he's dozed off, the physical and emotional exertion taking its toll. She lets him sleep it off, listening to his breaths and heartbeats, wondering what the next few weeks have in store and how they're going get through them.
Eventually, he wakes up, seeing the sky darkening around the car.
"Shit, sorry," he says rubbing his eyes "didn't mean to fall asleep. Why didn't you wake me?"
"Nothing to apologize for, looked like you needed it, you feel better? Think you can make the drive now?"
"Yeah, we'll stop for coffee before we hit the motorway, and I'll be fine. You?" He takes her hand in his, bringing it to his lips, kissing it gently.
"Yeah, you know me, a cuppa will do me."
He squeezes her hand one last time and then opens the car door and steps out, stretching his limbs and breathing deeply. He watches her as she nimbly climbs over the gearbox, grinning as she sets herself in the front seat. She fiddles with the radio, looking for music they'd both agree on.
"You wanna dance it out?" she says loudly, finding his eyes through the window, a half mock in her voice.
"No, I think talking it out did the trick this time, thank you very much."
"Snoozing it out you mean," she retorts with a chuckle, as he climbs into the driver's seat, his lower lip caught between his teeth, as he smiles at her.