In the Middle of Nowhere

Ch.9 The Truth is…

Disclaimer: I don't own Instant Star.

Warning: This rated t but does have mature subject matter. There will be mentions of rape, sex, and some subjective language so if your too young to be reading this don't please and if you are sensitive to these subjects don't read other wise please enjoy.

Author's Note: Thank you to all those who have been reading and reviewing. Sorry I haven't updated in so long. I have finished this story on paper. It will be 20 chapters and maybe changing in rating. I'm a little worried on that. I'm still editing as I go long most of these chapters are pretty short. But I am very happy with this story. Sorry for the errors I try to correct them but some maybe still escape me. Now let's get on with the story.

Thanks again,

Cindy

(Jude's point of view)

I was having the same nightmare yet again. I was reliving that awful night in Berry. Why did I leave with that guy? If I had just waited for Mason none of this would've happened. I could feel his slimy hands on me. I felt him undressing me and then taking the pictures. The flash hurt my eyes. Then came the worst part of the night. I started to scream and cry. Why did he do this to me? Was I just some easy mark?

I opened my eyes and Tommy was standing over me. I could feel the sweat pouring off my body. I grabbed his arm. "Tommy please makes it stop just make it stop already." I cried out. He sat down on the bed next to me. He pulled me into his arms. I cried a long time while he just hugged me tightly. I kept trying to calm down. Tommy wiped my forehead with the towel near the bed and then stroked my hair. "It's going to be okay girl." He said speaking very softly. I couldn't even respond I just sobbed into his shoulder.

"Jude, please girl, tell me what happened that night?" Tommy begged. As I calmed down finally I felt myself doing something I hadn't before. I was reliving that night while I was awake. I felt so scared. I wasn't sure if I could do this but I had to. And this time I had Tommy to help me through it. I calmly let myself go to the beginning of it all. "When he approached me he was really nice maybe even too nice. He asked if he could buy me a drink." I said. I sighed realizing just how difficult it would be to tell Tommy what happened.

"It's okay Jude take your time we have all night if we need it." Tommy said encouraging me. I smiled a little. Then I closed my eyes. "He seemed friendly and I was angry and lonely. So I too the drink even though I knew I shouldn't. After I had a few drinks we started talking he told me he was a photography student at the local college near by." I explained as I started to cry again. Tommy hugged me again as to tell me it was okay without any words. It was exactly what I needed.

"He asked if he could take my picture for his project. I said I didn't think it was a good idea. Mason interrupted us. He gave the guy a weird look but thought I could handle myself. Mason said he had interviews and told me I could go on up to his room since he figured I would stay the night." I took a deep breath before continuing. "I was really drunk by then I had been doing shots and drinking beer. The guy offered to help me to my room. I couldn't even open the door I was so drunk." I couldn't go on talking. Tommy looked pale and upset but simply said. "Take a minute Jude." He rubbed my back a little.

"After we got into the room I was so dizzy. I tried to tell him to leave but I couldn't. He helped me over to the bed. Then he started taking pictures. He pulled on my shirt ripping it off." I said starting to whimper again. Tommy held me quietly. He felt so warm against my cold body.

"Then what happened, Jude?" Tommy asked in a whisper. "Then he pulled off my skirt. I started to kick at him and scream as he took pictures. But he didn't stop there." I said as I tried to calm myself enough to finish. I looked at Tommy. He was pale and looked like he might throw up. "Jude did he um he didn't oh god." Tommy stuttered. I couldn't talk but I shook my head. I took a deep breath.

"I wasn't raped but it was really close Tommy too close." I said putting my head down in shame. Tommy lifted my chin. "What did happen?" Tommy asked. "He took off my bra and I screamed. He hit me slapped me and then punched me. He kept touching my breast. Then he took off my underwear." I was sobbing yet again.

"It's okay Jude girl he can't hurt you anymore. I'm so sorry you should've been with me not him." Tommy said as tears fell from his eyes. I stopped crying and said. "Tommy it isn't your fault either. You didn't do this." "Jude what happened after you were naked?" Tommy asked shyly. "He started taking pictures. I was so sleepy I couldn't even fight him off anymore." I said now somewhat calm. "And after the pictures what happened?" He questioned.

"Then he started to kiss me and touch me all over me. He was rubbing me. He told I wasn't wet enough yet. Then he licked me. I cried out. He grabbed my thighs and called me a bitch. Then he pulled his pants and underwear down and tried to make me touch him." The tears fell down my face. Tommy gave me a reassuring look. I took yet another deep breath.

"He heard voices in the hall and quickly pulled his pants up. He ran out the door with his camera not even looking back at me. After he left I left weaker I must have blacked out. When I woke up I was dressed in Mason's t-shirt and he was there. I didn't tell anyone anything that happened. But then D got the blackmail pictures. And well I had to tell him some." I explain.

"I'm so sorry girl. I wish this didn't happen to you." Tommy whispered holding me. "I feel so dirty. It's all my fault." I said. Tommy wiped my tears and said. "It's not your fault and you're not dirty." "Do you feel different about me now?" I asked. "No Jude you are still beautiful inside and out. I still care about you." Tommy said. I truly believed what he said.

"Tommy?" I questioned softly. "Yes, Jude." Tommy responded. "I've never been touched before that guy." I whispered looking down embarrassed. "Hey listen to me Jude, that's a good thing. What he did doesn't change you or make you less innocent. The next time you're touched that way hopefully you'll love it and it will be with someone who loves you." Tommy explained. We both looked way.

"Tommy do you still want there to be an us?" I asked blushing. "Sure I do but not yet let's take our time." He answered. I nodded. "I'm in no rush girl we have time let's take it." Tommy said hugging me again. "Tommy can you uh um please stay with me for the rest of the night?" I asked knowing it was already early morning. He went to get in the chair but I caught his arm. "Quincy the chair is uncomfortable we can share the bed." I said. He nodded like he was afraid to speak. He laid down and pulled me close. "Night Harrison sleep you need it." He whispered. I slowly fell asleep.