The King Of De Nile
I didn't want to talk to him ever again, hadn't I said that? I was just going to ignore him. He was just going to be another idiot. But now that he was ignoring ME, it seemed like all I wanted was for him to look over at me, or even make some lewd comment towards me, anything! But he wasn't. I spent the rest the rest of the night trying to get him to forgive me by making jokes and trying to make him laugh, or even smirk just a bit. At around 9:30 he got to his feet, and all heads that had been focused on Soul Calibre 3, turned to look at him.
"I'm going out for a smoke." With that he walked out of the room and left a cold chill in the room. I got up to follow, but then decided to run upstairs and grab a sweater before I went. I flew down the stairs and out the door. When I got outside he was nowhere to be found, but his shit bucket was still in the driveway, so I started walking a random direction down the street, hoping to find him. I ended up at the playground a couple blocks over, and there he was, swinging on the little plastic swings I had known since childhood, one of his knees pulled up to his chest on the seat beside him. The other long limb dragging in the dirt, always pull in the direction the swing was lazily going. The cigarette dangled from his lips, smoke pluming from his nostrils, while his hands stayed tucked into his pockets.
I couldn't help but wonder what he was thinking. Was he angry because of what I had said, or did he not even care. Was he just realising that maybe I was too annoying of a kid to even bother messing with. Not worth the hassle I would probably be. Maybe what Zexion had said had been false, maybe he had had MANY different fucks. But maybe he was right. Maybe that was a persona he put on to try and impress people; maybe it was his security blanket of sorts. Maybe it was his way of trying to make people stay away, while not looking like a loser. I groaned in frustration. There were too many what ifs. I should just walk up to him and ask him straight out. Right? I mean, did I have a right to? I only met the guy today; I shook my head and turned away from the playground, chickening out. It was a little to presumptuous to get into his business, even for me who had a reputation of sticking my nose in.
Part of me also didn't want to know the truth. Part of me didn't want to have to deal with the complications of having to deal with all his baggage as well as mine. It was much simpler just to have him hate me and be done with it. Wow, this was a record. One day and I already had made somebody hate me. I walked off to the house and shut myself in my room. Closing the blinds and turning out my music quietly, crawling under the blankets and trying to tune the world out.
Now I could just forget he had ever said anything, right? Now I could just date a normal, pretty girl and not have to deal with the hard stuff that would come with me being with a guy, because even though people say that gays are accepted, there are always those few that'll give you a hard time about it. Because there'll always be a couple assholes in the world. And I will always be a coward. I crawled out of under my covers and went downstairs. I was not going to let this affect how I spent my evenings. I caught view of the driveway on my way downstairs, and saw that the van was gone.
I sighed in relief and turned the corner on the stairwell, only to be met with a very flustered looking Demyx being pinned to the wall and ravished by a very frustrated looking Zexion. In the Hallway! Neither of them noticed my presence, so I snuck downstairs only to be followed by the moans Demyx was making under Zexion's hands. I groaned. Fuck my life. I searched the rest of the house to discover that the hormonal teenagers and I were the only ones in the house. I shoved on my chucks and grabbed my coat and headed out the door. No way was I staying cooped up in the house alone with them.
I started making my way over to Hayner's, hoping that being around an old friend would help me feel like myself again, and not so.... dirty. And disappointed, the only thing was, I couldn't figure out what I was disappointed about. The walk was crisp and rejuvenating. And by the time I arrived I felt like a new person. I knocked on the door of Hayner's house, the green paint flaking slightly with age, and smiled softly when Hayner's sweet as honey mother opened the door. I bounded up the stairs to Hayner's room, and closed the door on my problems. I could think about them later, later was easier.