Chapter 10: Decisions

"I can't believe I'll have to start my puzzle again!"

Amabella had been complaining about this every time she remembered that her toys and most of her stuff were back in suitcases. Effie had patiently explained that it had to happen because the puzzle would never fit the bags, and they would be leaving tomorrow anyway. But no, the four-year-old was too annoyed at having to do the same task again.

Haymitch's daughter, really. Through and through.

"We'll work on it together when we're home," Effie promised as she combed Amabella's hair. She caught the moody glance the little girl gave her from the mirror. "I promise! I know I'm not that good at it, but I will do my best."

Amabella sighed. "I don't like this room. I liked the village better."

Effie took a deep breath. "I know, baby. It's just for one night. You miss home, don't you? And Flower. And your own bed. Aren't you sick of sleeping with Mommy?"

"No!" Amabella giggled, and Effie shook her head, unable to be annoyed at her, even if she did take up a lot of room in bed for someone so small.

In truth, the hotel was perfectly adequate. It was a very new building and the rooms were much better than she had hoped — she even had a small sitting room adjacent to the bedroom. It was located near the town square and, even though Effie would have preferred somewhere that brought less memories, Twelve was so different from what it used to be that it hardly resembled what she remembered.

Of course Katniss and Peeta had assured her they could stay but Effie knew enough to give them the privacy they deserved. She certainly hoped to get a proper honeymoon if she ever got married. Not that she ever really thought about it these days.

Either way, the wedding was a success, photographs and articles would surely be all around by the morning, Effie and Felix had done their part in handling the press and releasing statements, and she had been successful in getting Amabella out of the perfect princess dress she loved so much and giving her a much needed bath. She was now a little drowsy from the bath and the excitement of the party, so Effie let her choose a comfortable cotton dress to wear.

"There you go," Effie said as she finished combing Amabella's locks. "What did you think of the wedding, baby?"

"It was so much fun!" Amabella said excitedly. "I think I love weddings. Can I be flower girl when you get married, Mommy?"

"Mommy is not getting married, darling," Effie laughed. "Come on. Time for your nap."

"I just need Bunny," Amabella said, quickly walking over to Effie's handbag and finding the battered stuffed rabbit.

She went to bed with no protests, and Effie tucked her in slowly, sitting on the bed and watching her. Amabella blinked sleepily.

"Nap with me, Mommy?"

It was really hard to deny her.

"Just for a little while," Effie granted, joining her on the bed. She snuggled close to her daughter, breathing in her soft smell. "Mommy still has work to do."

"Mommy, you work way too much, way too hard," Amabella sighed dramatically. Effie couldn't help but smile. She loved saying that, ever since she heard Felix saying it.

Her eyes slowly met Effie's, a sly smile on her lips. Effie laughed, which made the child giggle. She tossed and turned for a few moments, trying to get comfortable, and before long she was asleep, her deep breaths almost lulling Effie to fall asleep too.

Instead, Effie watched her.

She had been adorable at the wedding. Everybody was captivated. Effie would have to ask for her own copy of the wedding video, and she would cherish it. She was glad Amabella reconsidered playing the part; Effie would have never made her do something if she didn't want to, but she had hoped she was just a little nervous at the attention she'd get.

Her little miracle.

A moody one, sometimes, but Effie loved her so much. Amabella was such a sweet child. Seeing her today warmed Effie's heart — she was growing up so fast. And to see her with Haymitch too — dancing and laughing, walking together, hugging… it was everything Effie had ever wanted.

Haymitch didn't know how many times she nearly called him over the years.

Haymitch didn't know that she had actually completed one call the day she had been back from the hospital with the baby.

He never answered, and she never had that same courage again.

Even now, she had no idea what to expect from him. She knew he had never actually wanted to be a father, and she could respect that; even with Amabella being a surprise, Effie still had never had any illusions surrounding Haymitch. Her mistake was that she didn't have the courage of telling him that first time, when she had just found out.

Who knew, perhaps getting to know Amabella would actually make Haymitch reconsider his decisions around fatherhood. Meeting a little person who was actually half of him and half of her; it would have been scandalous ten years ago, surprising five years ago, and maybe it would make for some attention nowadays, but it was always a risk they were willing to take. They were stupid — she knew they were, and she couldn't blame Haymitch alone for this — not to use protection that night, but then they had also been lucky this never happened years before. It wasn't like they had always been so careful.

And still Effie could not regret it.

Amabella scrunched up her face in her sleep, and turned away from Effie, a soft snore escaping her lips. Effie let out a chuckle and quietly left the bed.

She knew exactly what she wanted to tell Haymitch this evening. She didn't want him to make any harsh decisions, and she'd give him time if he asked. She could do this alone — his support would have certainly helped, especially when Amabella had still been a baby, but now she was used to doing things her own way and handling what came with raising a child alone. She could live with whatever decision Haymitch made.

She just hoped he could too.

Haymitch waited impatiently in front of the door; there was a 'Do Not Disturb' sign by the door handle and he briefly wondered if maybe he should have called before showing up but Effie was the one to specify the hour for their meeting of sorts. He had enough faith in her to think that she wouldn't forget.

Before long, however, the door opened, and Effie greeted him. She was dressed in a pair of black skin tight pants and a loose blue blouse — and flat shoes. He was still not used to seeing her so… practical.

He shook the doll he had been holding in front of her.

"Brought Wilma," he said by way of greeting.

Effie immediately took the doll. It was ugly, in his opinion. Bright purple hair and the dress was simply hideous.

"Thank you. You know, this was mine when I was little. I don't know why my mother kept it. Sentimental value, or something," she rolled her eyes and stepped aside. That explained a lot. "Do come in."

The hotel room was simple for Capitol standards, but it was certainly a luxury for Twelve. There was a small sitting room — the television was muted, but Effie had been watching the news — and a door that Haymitch supposed that led to the bedroom, and sliding doors that led to a balcony. It was one of the few hotels in Twelve, and the newest one too — clearly an improvement from the others.

He sat down on the sofa — the only other option was an armchair that was currently occupied by a big brochure. As he expected, Effie took the brochure and put it on the coffee table, and took a seat on the armchair.

"Uh, where is she?" He found himself asking right away.

Effie ran her fingers through her hair — slightly damp from a shower, he noticed. There were no traces from the wedding on her. "Asleep. She had a lot of excitement for one day. I only had time to give her a bath before putting her down for a nap."

Haymitch nodded. It all still felt so surreal.

"We'll hear when she wakes up, don't worry," Effie added.

"Okay," he folded his hands in front of him. He was glad of the distance between him and Effie. He needed to focus. He came here prepared and he knew what he wanted to say — he could only hope Effie would be understanding. "How much does she know?"

He watched as Effie took a deep breath. "She has a very basic notion of everything. She just started preschool and she has plenty of classmates who only live with one parent. She knows she has a daddy, but he doesn't live with us and she hasn't been very curious so far."

Haymitch pursed his lips. "Yeah. Guess she's still young."

"She hasn't had any reason to miss having a father yet," Effie said bluntly. "The only child she's had more contact with is Levi, and his situation is hardly traditional. So to her, it's just very normal."

"I think we should tell her. As soon as possible," he told her firmly. "She's still young, the shock will be smaller. I don't want her to think we've fooled her somewhere down the line."

Effie nodded slowly. "I couldn't agree more."

"I'm not sure how… I'm still thinking about the whole being a father thing. I won't lie," he chose not to look at Effie. "I'm not cut out to be a dad. I don't want to disappoint her. I gotta be focused to do this. I… I need time."

He did look at Effie then. She was processing his words, but ultimately nodded; she closed her eyes for a moment.

"Of course," she said. "I understand this is a shock. You didn't ask for this. I don't want you to do this unless you're a hundred percent in, Haymitch," she gave him a pointed look. "This is my daughter. If you decide to be her father, I'm willing to help the transition in any way I can. But if you decide to step away, it needs to be now. Not later. Not after she's attached."

He raised his palms up in surrender. "That's why I'm asking for more time."

"Okay. It's only sensible," Effie agreed.

"I also want to know where we stand," Haymitch continued, "legally."

"You're on her birth certificate," Effie replied. This surprised him. "I wasn't going to, but I wanted to make sure you were listed. Just in case something happened to me. You are her father," she said. "We can… do blood tests if you want. I won't be offended. But there was no one else, she… she's your daughter."

"Did you think of telling me?" He asked abruptly. "I'm not questioning her paternity. I know she's mine. But when she was born, did you think of telling me?"

Effie sighed. "Countless times. It wasn't… she was a good baby. But it wasn't easy."

Haymitch nodded thoughtfully. "Regardless of my involvement… I want to help. Financially," he clarified, and Effie was already protesting. "I know you do well on your own, but I got the money and I ain't using it anyway. She's the only family I've got. I want to help. At the end of the day, my money is hers."

Effie was quiet. He meant it — Katniss and Peeta wouldn't need financial help, and even making donations and having wasted a lot of it in booze he still had more money than he could spend. The least he could do was provide for the child he fathered.

"She's not the only family you have," Effie said softly. "Katniss and Peeta would be offended to hear you talk like that. And I know I'm just the mother of your child, but I like to think we're more than that."

Haymitch smirked. "More than my kid's mother?"

She rolled her eyes. "You know what I mean. If you decide you want to do this, I… I'd be happy if we could become friends."

"Friends," he tried the word in his mouth. Felt weird. "Sure."

"I can tell her when she wakes up, if you want to," Effie offered. "That way you can have some time before we leave in the morning. Just to spend some time with her as… a parent, I suppose. You don't have to actually do any parenting, she doesn't know how this works, so it's not like it should be a mess. I was planning on taking her to dinner downstairs in a little while anyway. You're welcome to join us."

Hell, Effie could talk. Haymitch blinked, trying to comprehend all that she had said — and she was nervous, even if she pretended not to be — and while it wasn't something he had envisioned he supposed it was only right. Who knew when they'd have another opportunity? The more he thought of it, the more he thought Amabella should know right away. It had been bad enough for him to be shocked at the whole situation; it was best to have this done and over with before the kid was old enough to hold a grudge.

"Yeah, sure," he nodded after a moment. "You're lucky you won't be around when I tell the kids."

Effie cringed. "Do you think they'll react badly?"

Haymitch shrugged. "Not badly. They'll be surprised. Katniss might threaten me," he added, and Effie appeared nervous. "Don't worry, I can handle it. I'm more worried about handling the kid in question."

Effie did smile at that. "I think you'll be fine. She likes you. That's a good point in your favor," she looked at the clock nervously. "And you brought Wilma."

Haymitch let out a chuckle. "Yeah," he gave her a side look. "You got a lot of your toys around, Sweetheart?"

"Oh, please," she rolled her eyes. "My mother had a box of my old things. I managed to save a few dolls when I learned I was having a girl. And as for other toys," she gave him a look, "I'm sure I don't understand what you mean."

"I didn't mean anything," Haymitch arched his eyebrows. Effie glared at him. "I do remember this one time in the penthouse—"

A pretty flush spread around Effie's neck and bosom.

"Stop it," she hissed. "Leave it to you to remember that, but not remember that meeting we had the next day. It was devastating."

Haymitch rolled his eyes. "Not my fault I remember good stuff."

Effie groaned and looked away. "Seriously, Haymitch. We have to stop with this. We can't just…"

"Just what?"

"Just… flirt and tease and have intercourse and go on with our lives!" She hissed. "We can't do this anymore. It's… we have to think about her. She deserves more than this—we're too complicated."

"I wasn't saying anything!" Haymitch defended himself. Effie did not budge. "Focus. Okay."

A loud thump was heard from the bedroom.

"I mean it, Haymitch," Effie warned, standing up. "I'll go check on her. Just… make yourself comfortable."

He couldn't really make himself more comfortable because he was tense as hell — although the view of Effie's ass as she turned around made for a good distraction, as brief as it was.

"And stop staring at my derrière," she said, without so much as a glance to him.

He didn't, but she disappeared into the bedroom a moment later.

He was still tense.

He tried not to think of the muffled voices coming from the bedroom — it was clear Amabella was up. Maybe Effie wouldn't tell her, in the end. She had stalled telling him so maybe she'd just choose to tell the child once they were home and he was far away — it was weird to think that life could simply go back to what it was and what it had always been after this. They still had so many issues to talk about, and he knew Effie was right about their relationship — whatever it was.

Besides, it would take a while for him to feel comfortable after she hid this from him for so long.

Although… this was Effie. He did trust her. It was implicit; despite the issues they all had, he had always trusted her, even if he questioned her judgment and mental faculty at times.

Haymitch stood up. He could leave, he supposed. If Effie didn't tell Amabella, then he had no reason to stay. It wasn't like the girl could expect much from him. As Effie said, she didn't know dads in general. She wouldn't know what he should do.

He looked at the doll on the coffee table, and took it. He had found it in his favorite armchair at home.

He wouldn't leave. Despite what he decided to do later on, the kid deserved more than this. He wouldn't bail — they lived in a free country now. She wouldn't be a target of the government because she was related to him. She wouldn't have to see any reapings or be afraid of getting her name chosen. She would live in a different world that he had lived — and Effie had lived as well.

He wouldn't bail.

After what seemed like an eternity, the bedroom door opened — by Amabella herself. She was wearing a bright yellow dress, and her hair was in pigtails — a little messy from sleep, but cute. She looked a bit like she had before the wedding — shy, and unsure. Effie stood behind her, and nudged her forward slightly.

"Go on, darling," Effie said softly.

Haymitch walked slowly towards the door, and crouched down in front of her.

"Hey, Bella."

Her eyes were wide as they met his. "Hi," she said quietly. "Mommy said you're my daddy."

He wasn't prepared for the wave of emotion that hit him as she said those words. Gray eyes staring back at him. Her expression made him remember the day he had seen Effie again months after the quell. Uncertain. A little wary.

"Yeah," he croaked. "Yeah, I am."

"Is that why you danced with me today?" Amabella asked him suspiciously.

Haymitch chuckled. He heard Effie laugh as well, but didn't look at her.

"No," he said honestly. "Well, yes, but also because all princesses deserve a dance, don't you think?"

Amabella nodded shyly.

"Unless I was a bad dancer," Haymitch cringed. "Did I step on your foot?"

That made her giggle. "No! I stepped on your foot!" She looked up at Effie, then again at him. Then she noticed the doll he was holding. "Wilma! She ran away from home yesterday."

"Right. Quite the Rebel, this Wilma," he handed her the hideous doll, but Amabella seemed very happy as she hugged the doll. "She was sitting on my favorite chair and everything."

"She does that sometimes," she said seriously. She looked up at Effie again, seemingly questioning something. "I… I don't know what daddies do. Mommy said that's okay."

"Yeah, it's okay," Haymitch nodded. "I don't know either. We can find out together, yeah?"

Amabella nodded, smiling softly at him. She took a tentative step towards him.

It wasn't going so bad.

"Do you know what we should do first?" He asked.

She thought his question over, her tongue peaking out from her lips.

"Have ice cream?" She asked.

Effie interrupted then.

"Not before dinner, young lady."

Amabella made a face, and Haymitch did the same.

"Maybe when your mommy isn't around," he whispered, but it was still loud enough for Effie to hear. She pretended not to, and Amabella giggled.

Before he could tell what happened, she was throwing her arms around his neck, doll forgotten on the floor, and hugging him. It took him a second to hug her back.

This time, he did look up at Effie, and she was blinking repeatedly — trying not to cry. He gave her a smile, and patted Amabella's back.

"Daddy?"

A warm feeling spread over his chest as he heard the word directed to him for the first time.

"Yeah?" His voice wasn't as strong as he hoped it would be.

"Since you brought Wilma back, can I give you something?"

She pulled away slightly, eyes twinkling.

Haymitch nodded. "Sure."

"I wanna give you a swear jar!" She said excitedly.

Effie snorted behind her.

Haymitch cringed slightly.

"Can I, Mommy?" Amabella looked back at Effie.

"We can buy your daddy a swear jar," Effie granted her. "He does need one. Why, I should have given him one years ago."

Haymitch glared at her, and Amabella giggled, hugging him again and giving his cheek a kiss.

Even with a swear jar, it didn't go so bad at all.

There were a few restaurants in Twelve nowadays — not that many, but enough that there were a few options. Haymitch led them to the best out of them, in his words — which meant that perhaps service wasn't the best or the place wasn't the fanciest but the food was good. Effie was pleasantly surprised. It had been a good choice.

She did allow Amabella to have ice cream for dessert — she herself passed the opportunity, but watched as both Haymitch and the little girl devoured chocolate ice cream with much gusto.

"Are you gonna live with us now, Daddy?" Amabella asked in a small voice, watching him with attention, in between spoons of ice cream.

Haymitch coughed — clearly the question was unexpected.

Effie decided to answer herself.

"No, darling. We live in Four, which is a long way from here," she explained. Amabella still looked bewildered. "Remember how I told you sometimes daddies didn't live with mommies? It still counts. Besides, where would we find room for your father?"

This made the child laugh. "With Flower!"

"The chicken? Good heavens," Effie humoured her.

It gave Haymitch enough time to recover. "You don't see me putting you with the geese, do you, Princess?"

Amabella giggled. "No."

The subject forgotten — thanks to Haymitch prompting to do a magic trick, something completely disgusting as he got a spoon full of ice cream into his mouth, and then back again on the spoon once Amabella had seen it wiped clean — and it did not help matters when Amabella tried herself the magic trick — spoiling it when she swallowed the content of the spoon before she could remember herself — prompted a pleasant dinner.

Things were working out, at least. Maybe not the way Effie had imagined it, but they were. It was clear that Haymitch was trying, and Amabella was finding the whole thing a novelty — messy magic tricks aside, it was nice. Watching them together, though, made Effie want to go back a few years and tell Haymitch earlier.

Oh, well. What was done was done.

"Mommy?" Amabella asked. Effie hummed her reply, focusing on the little girl sitting beside her. "If we move here, are we gonna live with my daddy?"

She could feel Haymitch's eyes on her before she even spoke.

"No, darling. If we move here, we'll have our own house. With a backyard," Effie added.

"So I can have a kitten!"

"I said we'll see what happens, hm?" Effie touched Amabella's nose and the little girl blinked.

"Can I go play now?" she asked, pointing towards a small children's area in the restaurant, just a few tables from them.

Effie eyed the playground with careful attention, deciding not much could come to harm in such a small place. "Okay, but just for a little while. We're leaving soon, baby."

Amabella was off without so much as a glance behind her, entering the little plastic house and exiting from the other side a second later, exploring the room. Effie fidgeted in her seat, and looked at Haymitch slowly.

He was arching his eyebrows, already waiting for an answer to an unspoken question.

"I've had a job offer. Here in Twelve," Effie told him. "I'm still not sure if I'll accept it. Truth be told, I'm waiting to see how we deal with… this whole situation before making a decision."

Haymitch leaned towards her on the table. "So you're considering it?"

Effie nodded. "It's in a different area, and it would give me more time with Amabella. It doesn't pay as well as the government but Twelve is less expensive than Four, so… I am considering it, yes."

"What's that got to do with our situation?" Haymitch asked nonchalantly. "You want the job, you take it. If the kid knows, you probably want it."

Effie did her best not to roll her eyes. "It's not that simple."

"Why not?"

"How am I going to explain to her that her father who lives across town wants nothing to do with her?" Effie asked him. "It's a possibility. It's easier to make excuses if we're not here. So, yes, it is very much related to our situation."

He sat back on his chair. "So basically it all comes down to me."

"No, Haymitch," Effie said impatiently. "It all comes down to her. Don't you get it?" she took a deep breath. "I want what's best for her, and I hope we can do this together, but it's your decision to make. Not mine," she added, then looked back to her daughter. "Amabella, time to go!"

"It's still early," Haymitch commented, looking anywhere else but at her.

"We have an early train to catch in the morning," she reminded him, reaching for her purse, but he held her arm while taking his wallet from his pocket. "It's fine, Haymitch, I…"

"This one's on me. No big deal," he insisted, just as Amabella reached the table, slightly out of breath and eyes twinkling. Effie's heart broke just wondering how anyone would not consider being in her life. "Hey, munchkin."

The little girl looked at him with interest. "What's a munchkin, Daddy?"

"Short stuff," Haymitch answered her. "Small people. Like you."

She crunched up her face. "I'm not that little."

"Sure you are," Haymitch argued. "Your mom is little too. She only pretends to be tall in those high heels of hers."

Effie let out a snort as she slowly stood up. The little girl giggled.

"But Mommy is tall," she argued.

"For now," Effie interrupted the conversation. "Maybe you'll grow up and be taller than me, then you'll think I'm short," she joked. "Come on, baby. We should say goodbye to Daddy. We have a big day tomorrow."

"I won't forget the swear jar, Daddy," Amabella said, throwing her arms around him to give him a hug.

Effie watched her scene quietly, trying to control her emotions as well as possible. Haymitch and Amabella exchanged quiet words, and she gave him a loud kiss on the cheek before coming back to her mother, her little hand reaching for Effie's automatically.

"I can walk you back to the hotel," Haymitch said, standing up as he tossed some bills on the table.

"It's just the next building," Effie said. "No need to worry."

He nodded. "I'll see you when I see you, then."

He used to say that to her when he left the Capitol each year after the Games. It had been bittersweet then.

It was devastating now.

So Effie simply nodded, and when he made no move she stepped away, taking Amabella with her. She smiled when the little girl looked back happily and waved him goodbye, and a part of her was already wondering if she had done the right thing by telling her the truth.

The next morning, early at the station, she carried a half asleep Amabella in her arms before following Felix into the train.

Haymitch never showed up.

A/N: We're nearly at the end! Two more chapters to go. What did you think of this chapter? Let me know!

Next chapter: Effie and Amabella are back in District 4, but there's a surprise.