Chapter 10 - The Last Thing I Ever Wanted To Do

Edward drove us to school that morning, unsurprisingly everyone still stared as I exit the car. My eyes locked on Jessica as she snarled in my direction. The temptation of watching her squirm under my intense gaze was desirable but I reframed, for now. "Let's head to English Bella." Edward said in my ear after he caught sight of Jessica's stare. I smiled and headed to Mr Mason's classroom.

We were still a few minutes early so Edward struck up conversation. "I don't know how you do it."

"Do what?"

"The last 100 years of my life have been hard and have changed me in many ways. Life has dragged on for me, it isn't easy living this existence every day. I don't know how you manage to keep sane let alone smile and laugh."

"I haven't always been this way. There was a time when I despised what I am. Many times. I murdered my own mother at birth, and created a race that lives by killing human beings. Life that I cherish. But after many years I accepted what I am. I cannot live like human's. I was never like them. There is nothing that can change us back into human's. I've tried everything I could possibly think of. So I learn to live with it. I know who and what I am and I've learned to be ok with it. I've accepted it and that makes it easier."

His eyes bore into mine as I spoke, taking everything I said into account. Mr Mason called the class to attention then before Edward could open his mouth to respond and we fell into a comfortable silence. I spent the next few hours avoiding conversing with the human's as much as possible like the Cullen's did. I walked out of the last class before lunch to come across Emmett walking in the direction of the cafeteria.

With Mike quick on my tail I strode over to Emmett and put on a big fake smile and clung to one of his large arms. He looked down and raised a brow in question before his eyes trailed back to Newton behind us and Emmett smirked. "Does someone has a crush on our little Bella?"

I rolled my eyes at him. "Don't start."

Emmett chuckled before putting on a very serious face and the sound of his voice rose. "That kid that was annoying you yesterday better stay away, otherwise I might just have to make him."

"Really that's all you've got?" I asked him in a quiet voice.

He shrugged "I'm enjoying this, I don't want to scare him away completely." He said truthfully.

My small arm that was linked with his flexed and I felt him flinch in pain. "What kind of big brother are you? Aren't you meant to protect your innocent little sister?" I put on my sweetest voice and widened my eyes like I was about to cry.

Emmett stopped walking and just watched me for a few moments. "Your good." He said finally.

I grinned. "Thank you."

"I'm pretty sure your innocent pout beats Alice's and that's saying something." I laughed and pulled him into the cafeteria.

"So how's day 2 of Forks High School Bella?" Alice asked after we were sitting down together.

I shrugged. "It's alright I guess. The human's aren't that bad, apart from a select few. What else do you guys do to pass the time?"

"We play games, keep up-to-date with everything going on in the world, we attend functions sometimes for school or with Carlisle and Esme when they have work functions. We have family in Denali, vampire's like us that feed off of animals. They visit us or we visit them every couple of years for a while. Other than that we usually just stick to our hobbies and spending time together as a family." I nodded along.

"What about you?" Alice asked.

"I read a lot, learn anything I can get my hands on, I go in and out of human populated area, but mostly stick to my home. Sometimes I get jobs, when I'm travelling. Everything changes rather fast and I enjoying seeing the differences every few years."

"Maybe we could all go travelling together soon!" Alice suggested jumping up and down in her seat excitedly.

"I'd like that, it would be fun to enjoy experiencing everything with someone else." I couldn't help but let my thoughts wonder with the possibility of the Cullen's and I travelling from country to country.

When we returned home that afternoon Carlisle asked me if I would like to go for a run with him. "I'd love to." I smiled and we ran together until we found a small stream and Carlisle gestured to a rock that I walked over and sat on.

"You have something on your mind Bella." It wasn't a question. I nodded slowly, my eyes drifted to the water flowing down the mountain side.

"I have enemies Carlisle. The reason I have always won against any enemy that tried to reign was because I had nothing that could hurt me. Physical pain, I can handle. My mother was dead, I never knew anything about my father. I had friends but it wasn't much of a friendship, their thirst for blood always complicated things. I have never been close with anyone like you and your family are. I can see the love you all share for one another. It beautiful. I wish that I could have something like that."

Carlisle sat on the rock next to mine and stared at me until I looked up. "You can have that Bella."

I shook my head sadly. "No I cannot. If anyone thought that I had weaknesses they would use that against me. My feelings for every member of your family could bring them great harm. That is why I cannot get too close. I couldn't bare it if something happened to them simply because I care for them."

I could see Carlisle understood what I meant. Our world was a dangerous one. He didn't want any harm to come to his family and neither did I. "There is something between you and Edward, isn't there?" Carlisle asked softly.

I held his eyes and nodded. "Yes. Which is why I cannot act on any feelings or further push things for us both. You must understand that I would never do anything to hurt him, and being with him would end in pain. I don't know what to do. The direction we are heading now, will lead to more between us."

I could see the pain form in Carlisle's eyes. "He has been my family longer than anyone else. I understand Bella, but I can see a difference in him since you entered our home."

I gave him a small smile. "He's changed me also. I feel free and happy when he's around. I've always been so tense, never being able to relax. But around him my whole body melts." We sat in silence for a while after that and both took a few minutes with our thoughts. I knew what I had to do, and I didn't like it one bit. It was the last thing I ever wanted to do. But I knew if I wanted to protect Edward than this was what I had to do. "It has to end, now." Carlisle's eyes closed in pain before they looked up at me. He nodded.

The next month passed slowly, school got easier slightly. I spent my time with the Cullen's trying to avoid Mike, Jessica and Lauren as best as I could. In the afternoons I'd spent time, playing Xbox with Emmett, listening to Jasper's war stories, Rosalie showed me a few things under the hood of her BMW, I refused to go shopping with Alice again but I agreed to online shopping as long as we spent no longer than an hour doing it at once. Carlisle asked questions about my life, I didn't hold anything back. I trusted the Cullen's. Esme would ask for my opinion on some blue prints she was working on for their next house, after they left Forks. I talked to Edward but only when we were in the company of the family. At night I would disappear into my room to read.

I was purposely avoiding time alone with Edward again and he knew it. I didn't want to hurt him, which was why I pulled away now rather than later. I hated the space between us and I couldn't help the constant craving of his touch that I had also avoided since that night hunting together. I didn't have a choice, this was my only solution. I would never forgive myself if something happened to Edward because of me. I knew he could fight and probably even better now that he had extreme speed on his side, but it was a risk I wasn't willing to take. Meanwhile I kept tabs on the vampires around the world like I always did. I still didn't have any answers as to why the Volturi let Maria's army get so much attention from the human's. I wasn't sure if they were just being slack or if the brothers had some ulterior motive. Probably the latter.

I knew I had to leave to go find the answers. I had a sick feeling in the pit of my stomach that something bad was going to happen and each day I put it off and stayed with the Cullen's the worse I felt. I sighed loudly as I stared out the glass of my bedroom. I walked into my closet and changed into a white summer dress and a black leather jacket pulled on a pair of black sandals. I sighed again grabbing my phone before closing the door to my room. I walked slowly downstairs taking everything in as I went. The Cullen's were all in the living room laughing about something silly Emmett said.

They all looked up at my entrance. "I need to talk to you all" I announced slowly. They all had looks of concern at the toned of voice and my frown.

"Bella why can't I see you all of a sudden?" Alice asked. I stopped her visions from working on me so she wouldn't stop me from doing what I had to do.

"I'm sorry Alice. But I didn't want you to see me leave, I know you'd have done everything to stop me."

"You're leaving?" Edward asked, his face was horror stricken.

I nodded suddenly finding the floor very interesting to stare at. "I have to, something is going on with the Volturi and I need to do get to the bottom of it. It's my job. You have to know the last thing I want to do right now is leave. But I have a bad feeling about this. I can't say if I'll be back soon or in a long time from now, but I will be back. You have all shown me so much, and I'm honoured that you allowed me into your home and into your lives."

"Can we come with you?" Rosalie asked. "Maybe we can help with whatever is going on?"

I gave her a sad smile and shook my head. "No Rose, I won't put any of you in that sort of danger."

"Please Bella" Alice begged.

"I'm sorry." I shook my head again.

Esme looked like she would be crying if she could, Carlisle held her close as he watched me. He nodded as I silently begged him to understand. "No, Alice. Bella is right, we would only be putting ourselves in danger if we went with her. The Volturi already see us as a threat because of the size of our family."

I frowned. "They what?" I asked stupidly.

Jasper answered my question. "Well, besides them we are the largest coven Bella and three of us have gifts that could rival some of their own. They see us as threats that wish to over throw them one day." I blinked a few times, stunned.

Were the brothers that stupid that they thought these lovely people in front of me would over throw them? Did that mean that they would intervene with the Cullen's if I didn't make a move first? My eyes widened in realisation, my love for this family grew as did the sick feeling in the pit of my stomach. It was them, the Cullen's. Maria's army had travelled North, there are only two covens anywhere even close and the Cullen's were one of them. That's why the Volturi didn't kill Maria she hadn't served her purpose yet. "Bella? What is it?" Edward was in front of me now trying to get my attention.

"Jasper, would Maria hold a grudge against you?"

I caught him off guard with my question. "It wouldn't surprise me, I was her second in command. I can't imagine it would have been easy for her after I left. She wouldn't have had the skills to control them like I did with my gift. Why do you ask?"

I looked at each member of the family, urging them to see the truth in my words. "Maria's army wasn't too far away when I found them. I thought it was strange that she had moved north but I dismissed it thinking she just wanted more territory. The Volturi hadn't done anything when they were getting too out of control, it's why I stepped in. Maria's army was created to destroy something, you are the closest coven. The Volturi didn't step in because they want you dead. The Volturi... their... their after you." I whispered the last part.

I apologise that this chapter seems kind of rushed. I would have put more into what happened after Bella took a few steps back from Edward but I honestly don't like writing about hurting someone. Most of my stories don't have such a hard time with love. In saying that, I'm working on one now (not Twilight related) that is about a broken relationship. Maybe when I've finished that I'll come back and fix up this chapter. But I didn't want to leave you guys hanging so I've posted it.

-Skye (FeminineHeroes)