15 Ways to Annoy Mirage
1. Slip massive amounts of sugar into her food.
2. Say "Oh, don't you worry darling! I'll take care of the monsters, you just stay back where it is safe!"
3. Try to convince her to wear sexier and far less practical clothing.
4. Ask her, over and over, why she takes orders from a big oaf like Cliff.
5. Constantly goof off behind her while she is navigating or piloting, and stop any time she looks over her shoulder.
6. Try and recruit her to the Federation.
7. Keep jumping out of the shadows and pushing her off of the walkways at Arkives.
8. Every time she gives an update of the situation, especially when she uses some large scientific or space jargon, wriggle your eyebrows and say loudly "So THAT is what they call it these days."
9. Tug on her braid.
10. Say "I can see why they call you Mirage - you are so hot you create heat waves! YEOW!" and then make a bunch of annoying animal sounds, wolf whistles, and cat calls.
11. Ask her which Quark leader she preferred, Maria or Cliff, when both are present.
12. Imply that she is pretty much a female replica of Cliff after seeing her fight.
13. While she is at the controls (cockpit?) peer over her shoulder and point at various buttons, dials, and levers, and say "OOOOH! WHAT DOES THIS ONE DO?"
14. Tell her that those lines around her neck are a bad fashion statement.
15. Ask her where the bathrooms is at strange and inappropriate intervals.