STANDARD DISCLAIMERS APPLY: 2 + 2 = 5 and if you put two and two together, you will know Kenshin's not mine!
Quick little message from author: By the heavens, it has a plot! Yes people, I did a little recap on all the chapters I have planned and I came to several very interesting conclusions. One of them is that we are in this for the long haul (quite a number of chapters to be written and posted). My other realization made me jump off my seat and squeal for joy: "I found it! I found it! I figured out the plot!" I apologize for the long overdue posting of this chapter but many things have happened lately, including my father undergoing surgery.
I know this chapter isn't exactly as long as per usual and it's not as laugh out loud funny as other chapters but, what can I say? Lately I'm in a melancholic mood, doing a whole lot of reassessment and whatnot. This chapter is dedicated to Ocean Fish, who suggested the idea for this piece. It fit with my plot and with where I wanted to go so I thought I might as well please one of my reviewers, at the least.
By the way, I know this message is anything but little and quick and trust me, I'll stop bothering the lot of you in a second, but first I wanted to give a collective shout out to all my reviewers: feedback has been amazing and the amount of reviews I have received is astounding. Thank you all so much! ^_^ Not to worry though, the Reviewer Responses section will still be found at the bottom of the page, so scroll down after you finish reading this bit of the story.
I had this chapter typed out on my computer but I didn't post because I thought I should add more stuff; I read it today and realized that THIS is it guys: stretching it out would just make it cluttered.
Enjoy!
Chapter 10: A walk through the park
"I still stand by what I mentioned earlier: there was no need to yell."
"Well, excuse me for being concerned for your welfare; obviously someone else has to, since you are definitely not going to give thoughts of your own safety the time of day!"
"I wasn't going to die."
"Sure, dying is never a possibility for those who – oh, I don't know – throw themselves at speeding vehicles, maybe???"
"I did not throw myself in front of the car; I threw myself at you."
"Gee, that makes me feel so much better…"
"I'm sorry, I'm confused: aren't you glad you're alive?"
"If I recall correctly, I did thank you."
"Was that before or after you caused a commotion right in the middle of the street?"
"…"
"See? You're fighting with me pointlessly; there is absolutely nothing to argue about. You almost got run down by a car but, fortunately, someone was there to pull you out of the way. It really could have been anyone but, as luck would have it, it turned out to be me, and even that is not worth giving much thought. All that matters is that you came out of a perilous situation alive: be happy and think 'carpe diem'."
"You don't value your life enough!" Kaoru protested for the ten thousandth time that afternoon, giving her rescuer a very pointed look.
Kenshin sighed and resigned himself to the fact that, no matter how hard he tried, changing this girl's mind was like trying to plan a surprise party for Sherlock Holmes: unachievable, senseless and futile.
"So… are you or aren't you going to want fries with that?" asked an irritated voice exasperated beyond endurance.
And so, as it was with all things that were soon to occur between them, after Kaoru had her fun giving Kenshin a piece of her mind and after Kenshin got tired of 'oroing' and getting lectured in front of a crowd that clapped at their retreating figures, claiming that they had not witnessed 'a performance with such a vivid, realistic portrayal of human interrelations' since the last of summer's romantic comedy releases, they both stepped out of the spotlight for some 'quiet time' to think about recent developments in their lives; namely being a savior and being saved.
And so, as it would become usual in the relationship that they were soon to establish, 'quiet time' would always be many things but quiet, for Kaoru always had too many things to say and her counterpart would always have something, be it soothing or not, to answer back. In many ways one would always balance out the other.
That is how, balancing each other out - or more like bickering - they had stumbled into a local diner, he insisting she should go see a doctor in case she had sprained anything, she prompting him to leave her alone and think about himself for a change, to consider that he was the one that had crashed down on hard asphalt, whereas she had bounced back atop a cushiony body. In many ways, one would always seek to recklessly care for the other, without giving their own self the once over.
Scribbling madly into his little notepad, the aforementioned waiter took their orders and headed towards the counter, wary of relaying the information to the kitchen.
Those two, with their little lover's spat had annoyingly left him waiting for them to place an order a good fifteen minutes; he was trying his best to not loose it and ask the chef to stir spit into the girl's hot cocoa. Too bad he really needed this job…
"Hey Jiro, give me some hot cocoa and green tea for table four, pronto!"
"Sure thing Yahiko!" old man Jiro, in his odd looking disposable chef-hat, responded from behind the counter.
"Hey, have you seen Tsubame?" the young boy with tousled black hair asked.
"Short hair, shy smile, cute dimples, black apron?"
"Like if you didn't know who I was talking about."
"She's out back." Jiro stated, suppressing a grin.
"I'll be right back then." Yahiko spoke, barreling off to meet up with the girl in question.
Jiro headed into the kitchens and began his search for a kettle with a smile on his face; that kid was so obviously crushing on the meek little waitress that it was a wonder he could put two words together every time she was around. Ah, young love!
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"Yuck: ancient, stale donut!" Kaoru complained with a grimace, spitting out a mouthful of the offending ring shaped delicacy.
Wordlessly Kenshin offered her a napkin; embarrassedly Kaoru wiped her mouth and mentally reprimanded herself. Who in their right mind would want to see a girl spew out chewed up doughnuts, or anything else for that matter? Why, oh why couldn't she be normal?!!
"Maybe we should have eaten at the diner like you suggested." she acquiesced long after the suggestion had been made, nervously wringing her hands in her lap.
"They didn't sell donuts at the diner." was his simple, brief and pertinent reply.
Sullenly nodding her head, Kaoru accepted that this was the way Kenshin usually handled himself: calm, concise, composed and thoroughly breviloquent; it made her feel as if Aoshi had grown a second head and she was currently sitting next to it.
Where had the friendly boy she had been chitchatting with less than an hour ago run off to? Most likely she had scared him away with her imposing personality.
Who was she kidding with the whole 'I'm so confident that whatever you say or do or think has no power over me; I'm the way I am and if you don't like me then you can just keep on walking' attitude? Everyone else around her, apparently. Everyone else but herself.
"You know, you're right; I was being too picky. Stale donuts: that's what I get for being picky! See? I learnt my lesson: next time, I'll just conform myself and realize that to eat or not to eat a donut is no big deal and not really 'the' question. Some things are more important than a stupid donut, like say, learning to compromise. I guess being an only child does have its minor setbacks…"
"I never said you were too picky and I'm not complaining that we didn't eat at the diner. You worry too much about what other people might think." he asserted, both in his defense as well as hers.
Kaoru's eyes widened in disbelief, but she quickly averted her gaze back to her lap, hopelessly trying to hide the blush that had just pervaded her cheeks. He had just seen right through her; not that her apology hadn't been a dead giveaway, but still…
One would think that after all her screaming and bantering she had managed to efficiently cover up insecurity and instead project a clear image of self assuredness. Life was not without its fair share of surprises; that was for sure!
Surprises… Kaoru wasn't one for them, especially when they had nothing to do with presents. This gloomy atmosphere surrounding her on a sunny autumn day, outside, sitting on a lovely little bench, at a quaint little park, with a moody little Kenshin was, a little surprising, not to mention eerily disturbing.
Conclusion: just like the warmth of the sun fought against the chilliness of the breeze at that very moment, she too would have to rebel. So be it then: let the revolution commence!
"Kenshin..." she trailed off, preparing herself for her first attack.
However, what followed then made all thoughts of the art of war dash out of her mind faster than you can say 'oro'.
"You know, I was just thinking about that couple sitting over there. They're probably octogenarians, have dealt with all of the problems and hardships life can, in a general scale, offer the regular human, most likely have children and grandchildren, have awoken together in the same bed for the past 50 years or so, and they are, somehow, still sitting there, side by side, holding hands." Kenshin spoke softly.
"Probably. Makes for comforting thoughts, hunh?" his own companion whispered gently, the hint of a smile on her placid face.
"Actually, I don't know. I just keep wondering… will we ever have that? Will we ever be able to grow into them one day? Will we ever have that beautiful an autumn day so many years from now? Will we be able to make others think along these same lines someday? Will we ever love as much?"
As puzzled and as touched as she was by his melancholic spiel, she instantly knew the answer. As flustered and as taken aback as she was by the depth of thought he displayed and confided in her – not to mention the fact that he used the term 'we' continuously – there was no hesitation for the girl with bright eyes who had almost lost her life that very same afternoon.
Whilst the leaves fell from the trees and the sun shined gold all across the planes of her determined face, she instantly knew what she wanted to say, what she wanted him to hear, what she wanted him to believe:
"No, we won't."
Disconcerted, and relatively put down by her unenthusiastic riposte, Kenshin quizzically stared at the figure of her, bathed in cascading sunlight, standing before him with a driven expression splayed across her frown.
How could someone so beautiful be so certain of future misery? How could one as young and fancy free as herself be so sure that they would not be rewarded with that kind of life? How could someone as sweet – when she wanted to be, anyway – as her be marred by this world's bitter truth? How could this be allowed? More importantly, why was she, all off a sudden, smiling?
"We won't?" he questioned, filled with abrupt dread. He hadn't been expecting another vocalizing the truth to hurt this much…
"No. Obviously, no. Thankfully, no. They are only the example, and everyone knows that when you fight, you fight to surpass, not to be a mediocre equal. No way: we struggle to be better and much more than others, to go beyond their standards. With that in mind, of course we won't have that, we won't be them, we won't have that day and we won't love that much.
See… that's the thing about complacency, why it's so hard for me to sit back and do as others do, to conform myself with that which others give me. I'm sorry, but I desire much, much more. That's why I believe that we will have much more than that, we will be much more than them – we will be 'us'.
We will have many beautiful days; we won't stick to the one sunny day, we will crave a thousand more! And, as for love… we will love so much more! We will love in style, in color, in the full of its very meaning. We will live and breathe love. We will be love."
In this life, one comes to understand that few things rarely make sense, that all can only be taken in stride. Many a time, others who deem themselves wiser than those who dare to pose such disconcerting questions, relay on those that they qualify as 'less knowledgeable' or, in layman's terms, 'ignorant', the scoop and lore that explains how to live life in three easy to follow steps: feel, think, act. In short, the perfectly congruent equilateral triangle of successful living.
Without meaning to sound like American Idol's very own Simon Cowell or That 70's Show's Fez, sometimes, some must beg to differ, to refute all supreme theories; to stand up and fixedly cry out "I disagree!" before shutting the door in the sophists' faces with a heated "Good day!"
To feel, then think and, correspondingly, act is all nice and dandy, but the heart is much more layered, is so much more than it is given credit for.
To think that emotions and human behavior can dexterously slide into a regular pattern: therein lies true ignorance!
Sure, the absolute state of congruent being is a route many attempt to roam, but the road less traveled by makes all the difference in the world. Frost's alternate path provides moments that defy description, retelling and what we, as human beings, have come to regard as logic.
In this hazy existence of ours, it is natural to come to an understanding: anything rarely makes sense and it is to this law that we must abide. However, there is a constant tug of war, a persistent brainstorming session whose only objective is to reveal some form of reason capable of justifying the chaos and madness that is living without understanding life.
Through letting go - more often than not a purely subconscious act – magic comes into play: all of these dogmas hammered into us from birth vanish; Pavlov's bell stops ringing and only the true warmth of a soul can be seen. Exposed and stripped down to the bare essentials, to feel outshines the balanced symmetry of the favored polygon, curving the rigidity of straight lines into smoothness and the cyclic infinity of all things coming full circle.
Sensory override and the strong pull of instinctual who-knows-what left a terrified, breathless china doll chewing on her bottom lip, stark horror clouding her vision as the dispassionate and dully seasonable cascade of bright orange and yellow leaves continued its regular process of 'detach from branch…AND… fall'.
The old couple, sitting on a wooden bench not too far from the spot our two lead characters occupied, remained entirely unaware of the chain reaction their unassuming presence had triggered.
The old oak, maple and chestnut trees - victims to their deciduous natures- stood tall and unmoving, allowing the years to detach themselves from their arms and crawl at their feet, unenlightened and entirely ignorant of the magnitude and importance of that which had just transpired.
A whole park knew not the pressing role that it had played in the future of two, momentarily speechless, beings.
A girl frozen in the revelations of her own heart failed to comprehend the significance belied in the manifestation of her spirit.
A boy awed by such unseen openness, optimism and honesty reeled in the afterglow of a turning point that he couldn't quite touch.
The 180º shift had so subtly come to pass, that it would take a season or two before the full effects of the forming sphere blossomed into full view; before two unknown, unpronounced lovers admitted to this sudden occurrence.
In the meantime, denial and feigned ignorance, promoted through sheer will, successfully represented bliss:
"So… that's option A. Option B is… umh… you thinking that I'm some sort of crazy person who goes around giving passionate speeches because her nose has spent way too much time buried behind Deepak Chopra and Khalil Gibran books, which isn't: a) that far from the truth, and b) something that I could actually blame you for thinking.
So… yeah… I tend to get a teensy bit carried away when I… when I… do that thing I do, I guess!"
In the back of Kenshin's reeling head, the words registered but their meaning was completely lost to him. That she would apologize for such a heartfelt confession from her part was something he simply could not fathom, especially after he had been the one to initiate the whole 'waxing poetic exchange'.
He would not deny that she was a little over the top when conveying her beliefs but, all things considered, it was rather something to admire; not everyone was brave enough to give themselves away like that, with such candor.
"Is there ever a third option in all of this?"
"Umh… let's just say that middle ground is for balanced people and, as you can see, I don't quite fit in that box of chocolates. I mean, first I'm love – the actual thing - next thing you know, I'll be proclaiming myself an asteroid or something!"
"An asteroid?! Just out of sheer curiosity: where do you come up with these things?" he inquired good-naturedly.
"Well… I'm not- I don't- I don't even reckon that I'm giving my brain time to process my thoughts before they leave my mouth, so that's not making me any more coherent than I was when I spouted Zen love ideals or when I made a very disconcerting comment regarding my sanity and an asteroid, but the source of this befuddlement and psychotic bout... it's pretty darn clear: when I get nervous I ramble.
Presently I'm constantly digressing and I'm gushing away like there's no tomorrow, which seems a whole lot like rambling to me, which can only mean that I'm nervous and the only thing I can see for miles that would manage to get me so… so… agitated, jittery and annoyed is you.
I don't see any caffeine anywhere, I didn't even swallow the first bite of my donut, so this neurosis cannot be made justifiable with the excuse of a sugar rush; hence, you're the one making my screws come loose.
Hey, guess what Kenny? Congratulations! Being around you turns me into a basket-case!" Kaoru prattled in a flurry, stopping short from screaming like a Banshee more out of self respect than anything.
"What? Why would I make you nervous?" the clueless youth wondered aloud.
An extremely flustered up girl deadpanned: was this guy for real?
"You mean you have no idea whatsoever as to what it is that you do, or rather don't do, or more like do, then suddenly revert to not doing that could stress me out and make me skittish and snappish and solicitous all at once?" she asked, eyes growing wide like saucers, disbelief written all over her face.
"If I'm not entirely wrong, people turn to asking questions when they don't have the answers. I asked a question, so I'm assuming that means I don't know the answer to it…"
"See??? That's what's bothering me! You have these weird mood swings that make it really hard for me to know how to act around you, or handle you, for that matter.
One minute you're all 'Mr. Knight in shining armor', then you switch gears and end up coming off as witty and cynical, yet calm and approachable, suddenly you become Aoshi's replica - whom I don't know if you've had the pleasure to meet yet, but I assure you, the use of his name is never to be taken lightly or as complimentary – and when I think it's all through, you make this profound observation of life that can only make you come off as endearing and sensitive, if not a tad 'mal-du-siècle' and then you dial back into your 'Mr. Nice guy' routine.
You make no sense, you're worse than a girl PMSing, you bring me ever so close to hyperventilating and, I swear, that quiet, condescending thin lipped smile of yours can put anyone on edge." she discoursed, with a pointed finger here and a stomped foot there.
"I think that's the first time that someone complains about my smiling; usually people just prompt and hint that I should do it more often" he replied gently to the lengthy diatribe.
Kaoru sighed and stood up from the bench, gingerly picking up a fallen leaf from the dirty ground. What was it about him?
"They're right: you should." she voiced softly, a watery smile coming to rest itself upon her mouth as she let the leaf slip from her hands and get picked up by the breeze, its destination unknown, course uncertain.
Kenshin closed his eyes and took a deep breath, allowing the sun to seep into his bones and protect him from the biting gust of wind whipping his bangs away from his face. What was it about her?
"Come one; take me home Batman." she spoke, causing him to open his eyes, just in time to drink in the exquisite sight of her with the woven threads of silken ebony that were her hair flying wildly about her and her sparkling eyes caught in a sunbeam.
"Lead the way."
As she began to walk deeper into the wooded park, he realized that the nearest exit lied in the opposite direction, and said as much:
"Wait! We're going the wrong way; the closest exit is behind us!"
"I know. Ever heard of a shortcut?"
Shrugging his shoulders, knowing he could never win and didn't, in fact, want to, he slipped into a leisurely pace beside her.
The old couple sitting beneath the willow looked on as the youngsters slowly disappeared from sight, remembering a time when they used to be like them: when they had strolled through this very same park, when they had shyly and unassumingly courted each other, when they had wondered if they would be able to remain together forever, if they would ever age happily, blessed with the rise and fall of love's easy breathing.
Back then, they had been so young, so innocent and so in love; now, they were sluggishly withering away and wise beyond their years.
They had discovered that love's breathing was, in truth, quite labored and at times heavy and ragged. They had perceived that love's fiery passion waned slightly and faded into a candle's gently flickering flame.
They had discovered that love was not all that it was cracked up to be: timeless and incapable of aging, it was so much more…
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Reviewer Responses:
To missaw: So sorry I didn't update sooner, as you and many others requested; November has just been a very hectic month, and will continue to be until mid-December. I don't know if you will be able to qualify this chapter as 'awesome' like last tme, but I'm content with it, if not happy. Thanks again for the continuous feedback; you keep me going strong!
To Bob-san: Life's full of surprises isn't it? So, no, Kenshin wasn't the driver (he already has enough guilt to work through without having to worry about almost killing Kaoru). Thanks for the review!
To EnjeruJoshin: I was thrilled with your last review! My writing has amazing energy and I manage to make your heart pound when you read? That's all a girl needs to hear to be super duper delighted, not to mention ecstatic! Thank you so much for the encouragement and for taking such pleasure in reading this! Thanks, thanks, thanks… trails off to infinity…
To Rhapsody07: I'm glad to know that I can still squeeze some laughs out of you. I realize that the tone of this chapter was a bit more serious and, I guess it does seem like I'm stalling but, I want to establish solid grounds for these two characters. Thanks for reviewing and sorry again for taking so long to update – sometimes life gets the better of me!
To Neko Oni-chan: And isn't it ironic, don't you think? Sorry about that – the whole taking so long to update, especially just when you decided to review thing – but I have a lot of things going on right now. I suspect that after mid-December things will be a bit calmer. Well, in answer to your question: yes, there's some of my life rant here. The thing is, I have to adapt everything to the situation I'm portraying and to Kaoru's personality, which isn't precisely like mine, so it's not all mine, but hey, where else am I going to get inspiration, if not from myself and the world I know?
Thank you very much for all those lovely compliments: I can't believe that there are people like you out there, who actually really like this 'thing' that I freely call story. Thank you for believing in my writing abilities and, just so you know, your review was truly inspirational. Indeed. ^_^
To chibi-ken14: Me? Annoyed? More like surprised and immensely pleased! I still can't get over the fact that you love this story; to me, it's mind-boggling. I don't know if this will seem like another 'perfect' chapter (your words, not mine), but I quite liked the final product, in this case. Thanks so much for your kind words sweetie and so sorry for the long wait!
To dark-luv-dove: Aw… Enough of your blabbering? But I quite like your blabbering! Blabber away, I don't mind! I'm on your favorites??? Wow! That's… unexpected, to tell you the truth. Thanks so much for that and also for reviewing and psyching me up: where would I be without readers like you? I don't even want to think about it. In answer to your question, no I have not read your story yet, but don't worry; I'll gladly get right on it! Bye for now! ^_^
To Ocean Fish: Hey pookie! Where have you been? No more updates from my favorite pookie, at least not in a while. Don't worry; that makes two of us. Funny: you see my review response and squeal; I see your review and squeal… we're like the 'I scream, you scream, we all scream for ice-cream' duo! Well let's see: you proposed a walk in the park and, if I'm not mistaken, our two favorite characters are strolling about one of those. You requested something touching to the soul; I don't know how touchy-feely this seemed to you, but for me… let's just say I fear that all my teeth will rot and fall off in a little while. Walking her home… hmm… I'm not sure if I will get round to narrating that in the next chapter. If not, it will at least be implied that he walked her home. So many choices: so little time… Thankies for the review and I'll talk to you some more some other time, 'kay? Bye-bye pookie!
To Venus smurf: First off, I just have to say that it feels great to have my very first reviewer back! I missed you lots! Your reviews continue to be as long as ever and that makes me, as usual, very happy. Also you have made my over inflated ego soar to new heights with the amazing quality and amount of compliments you keep kindly bestowing upon me; I don't know if getting me all high and mighty is a good thing, but it feels nice, flattering and boosts my self-confidence: all in all, good stuff. Kaoru sprouting horns and singing karaoke? Maybe in an 'Angel' crossover; you never know… hahaha. As for Beshimi's sexuality; believe me, I too put it into question when writing about him. I've decided he's not gay, that he just admires Aoshi in an obsessive sort of way, that does no less to freak people out (not that I have anything against homosexuals; prejudice is so pointless). Funny thing, my stories crack you up; your reviews crack me up! You say the sweetest things, but always laced with such good humor, I can't help but smile and often giggle. Kaoru has probably been crushing on Patrick since pre-school and as for his height, I don't know how to convert it to your system, but it is in fact, as you guessed the metric system that I used. Let's just leave it at 'he's tall' and 'who cares? It's not like he has a chance with Kaoru anyway'. Hahaha.
Well deary, once again, so happy t have you back on board, so glad that you are enjoying this new fic as well and, till next chappie. Good night!
Well my darlings, this is it. Thank you so much for your unwavering support and I hope that you check out my next update. As for now, good night and good riddance (just kidding guys, you know I love you all, right?). Nighty-night then!!!