Why was it so cold? The room was pitch black, and the covers were pooled at the end of the bed.
I groaned, and with my eyes still squeezed shut, I tried to maneuver my foot into the sheets. My toe collided with something cold, hard and fleshy.
"Jack, what are you doing in my bed?"
He had his arms folded under his head and was reclining next to me. "You called me."
A pillow covered my head, and yet his voice still rang loud and annoying. "No, I didn't."
"You did too. I was about to fall asleep and then all of a sudden I hear 'Jaaaaccckkk mooooorrrrrreeee.'"
I pulled the pillow hard over my head as if to suffocate myself, an option that did not seem too far away. "I didn't say anything, Jack. I just woke up."
"You were sleep talking. Must've been some dream."
Why yes. Yes it was.
"Stop lying and get out of my room. It's 2:30. Can't you just let me have one night of normal sleep? Go do something meaningful with your life," I mumbled and turned over. It was still freezing and the comforter had disappeared from the bed.
"2:30? It's 5:30 in the night. You dyslexic or something? Get up already," he said and shook my shoulders. "If you don't get up, Emilie's going to come in here and she's not going to be as nice as me."
I smacked his arms away and rolled farther along the bed and tried to delve back into my sexy dream. My limbs were so heavy from sleep and if I opened my eyes I felt like they would fall out my face. The bed was so soft, but so cold. Why couldn't he just leave me in peace?
I huddled into a smaller ball and shivered. "Jack, go away. I'm begging you. Its freezing and you're not helping."
He put an arm around me and pulled so that we were pressed up against each other. "Better?" he breathed
My eyes twitched as his coldness permeated my skin. "Get off me! You're freezing! Are you trying to torture me or something? Just pull the cover on the bed and go away," I shrieked and struggled away from him.
"Don't yell at me!" He growled and pushed me off the bed.
I hit the floor with a thump and rolled around before and crawling under the bed. At least it would be warm and cozy under there.
A few moments passed and I let my body relax and eyes droop. Then he pulled me out by my ankle.
"Wake up damn you!"
"WHAT DO YOU WANT!?" I screamed. He dropped me on the bed with a jolt and winced.
"What do you want" I whispered again, and suppressed dry sobs.
"I want you," he leaned close to my face until I could feel his cold breath against my lips. "To get up!"
"Go call that model and get drinks or something. Ask someone on a date. Jump off a cliff. I don't care! Let me sleep!"
"Get out of bed!"
"Damn it, Jack! Leave me alone! Or I'll kill you! I swear I'll kill you and then you'll be DEAD! NOW GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY ROOM!" I screamed and started kicking him off the bed. He took the blows with a sigh. "Fine, you wanna play hardball? I'll play hardball. Emilie!"
In three seconds I was yanked out of bed by the ankle and thrown into my ultra super special massage shower. Using my own baby to betray me. I curled into a ball on the slick, icy floor of the tub.
The bright fluorescent lights burned through the eyes that I still refused to open.
"Get up, get up, get up!" Emilie crooned as she poked and prodded at my huddled form.
"Please!" I sobbed. "Just leave me alone. All I want is sleep!"
"I'm sorry, but no. Can you believe Jennifer's party is in one week? We haven't gone shopping once! How am I supposed to present you to decent company while you're wearing garbage rags?" She said and began undressing me. "Think of it as your debutante ball. It's the first time all the lords and ladies are going to see you as a part of my family. You have to look snazzy."
She yanked my pants down while I yanked up, simultaneous actions that resulted in a loud rip.
Finally, I was naked and huddled on the floor while she stood over me with a hand on the tap. The cold water tap.
"We have a long day today." She smiled. 'Whoosh' went the water as I cursed everything that ever existed in the universe.
Silent tears swirled down the drain and I felt the life being sucked out of me. What just happened? Wasn't I in bed a few minutes ago sleeping sleepy sleep and dreaming sexy dreams? Why was I on the floor with ice water being poured on me?
"Stop crying, you're depressing me. The faster you finish the faster you can fall asleep in the car," she said and knocked on the glass. "Oh, I have a good idea. Don't move."
She found a bottle of bubble bath and poured it into the frothy water and bubbles surrounded my nakedness. She let me wallow there for a few minutes before deeming me clean enough to get dried off.
"See, you're clean now. No big deal," Emilie said as I pulled a shirt on. "Jack! You can come in now. She's dressed."
Jack needing permission to harass me in the shower? Waiting until I was fully clothed? I must've still been dreaming.
He leaned against the doorframe with concern written on his face, "She doesn't look too good, Emilie."
I stumbled down and hit my head on the door edge. "Blargle sleep now for me to…"my words died down into a hobos murmur and I rested my heavy head on the toilet seat.
"We're here!"
I jumped and unstuck my cheek from the leather of the limo seat. "Huh? Where am I?" I grumbled feeling an odd sense of déjà vu.
"Demigods Mall. We're going party shopping. I bought you a croissant and some orange juice for breakfast. Meet me in Nasty Clown when you guys are finished eating. And don't take long," Emilie said and jumped out of the Limo. The moon was beaming down on Gold Tat Mall, a huge glass and gold structure that held the most expensive and fancy clothes in the area. I had only seen it on television shows about rich teenagers and fat mobsters.
"We won't!" Jack called and slammed the door. He threw the food at me. "You like bread and juice, right?"
I picked at the croissant and wrinkled my nose. "Eggs. I want eggs and pancakes."
He sighed. "Ok, fine. Let's get baby her pancakes." He opened the door and began walking toward the mall.
"Wait, you don't want to eat first?" I called and followed him. We were about to enter the huge stained glass doors with gold spires curling around the individual panes. Pretty fancy for a mall. Through the glass I could see I grand chandelier hanging down from the ceiling, showering all the little stores with candlelight.
"It can wait. Let's feed you first."
Being selfless? Listening to other people's needs? Something was wrong.
We entered Demigod Mall and my breath was stolen from me. It had to be the fanciest, gold-est, tallest, shiniest place that I had ever been in. The ceiling was high and carved with images of angels and demons. The stores were all lined up with their glorious window displays filled with clothes and jewelry and pretzels. Oh, the smells of perfume and sugared goods permeated the air and my mouth watered from the juicy food opportunities.
"So, you said you wanted pancakes? There's this restaurant that lets you put anything you want in the…what are you staring at?"
I pranced down the wide corridor, pressing my face to the storefronts and giggling. Clothes and shoes and clothes and shoes and ooh! jewelry! And for once in my life, I had the money to pay for them all. So much beauty in one place! I spotted the store Emilie talked about
Nasty Clown was a store that, surprisingly, sold evening dresses. Emilie was enveloped in a big gray dress and was twirling around in tall tri-mirror set while clerks sized her up and presented her with accessories and snacks.
"This is lovely," I said and picked up a long layer.
"That was quick. Enjoy breakfast?" she asked and pouted to the mirror. "What do you think of this dress? I think I'm more of a spring yellow."
I opened my mouth to respond, but was yanked away from her and escorted to a nearby dress rack with darker colors.
"What are you doing? Let go of that!" A woman's thick southern accent poured in my ear.
She was round and tall and bosomy with bright lipstick and long painful fingernails. Her hair was done up high with ribbons and tassels, as was her dress. She looked like the owner of a brothel. "How old are you? Shouldn't you know by now that gray isn't your color? You shouldn't even be touching something like that. Now, I think you should be concentrating more on red or lavender. Maybe even a summer peach? Hm? What do you think?"
I glanced at Emilie who was ignoring me and then back at the lady. "Do I know you?"
"Of course! You are the Hunters' Sang Royale and I'm telling you that you can't wear gray."
"…Right."
"Now put this on, and then this and then that, ok? Go!" She pushed the three colors at me and then led me to a large regal room.
The dresses really weren't my style, but eh. What the hell?
I undressed and pulled the red strapless up and tried to maneuver the zipper. Unsuccessful.
"Uh, help? I need help. Lady? You still out-OH!" I yelped as the zipper was pulled up by a cold hand.
"You know you shouldn't run off in such a big place. You could've gotten kidnapped or something," Jack muttered as he arranged my hair around my face. He held me at arm's length and then shook his head. "Nah, not your style. Let me see the peach one."
"Get out."
He made a face and fell back on a velvet chaise that honestly had no business in a dressing room. In fact the whole place looked like something you might find in a castle. The walls had fancy wallpaper and there was even one of those tall folding dressing wall thingies. Awesome.
"I would like to, I really would but I can't," he said and kicked off his shoes. "After you left, a bunch of girls started chasing me; normal stuff. They seem to be rowdier than usual though."
I rolled my eyes.
"He's telling the truth, Cassie!" I heard Emilie yell through the wall like a voice from heaven…or hell. "Look outside."
I peeked through the door and saw a tall red head talking at the front desk. "You didn't happen to see Duke Jack Hunter come in here did you?" The clerk shook his head and she mouthed 'no' to a bunch of girls lurking outside the store.
Jack shrugged and flashed a carefree smile, "What can I say? I'm irresistible."
I sighed and decided to end this possible incident before it started. "Leave me out of this," I said and walked to the cash register still wearing the red dress. "Charge this to the Hunter's account, please. Hey, you know where I can get some pancakes?"
I had gotten my pancakes fairly quickly and was eating them on the balcony overlooking the parking lot. The red dress was bit unmanageable, but I had gotten the hang of not dripping syrup on it.
"Um, ma'am? Sorry to disturb you but there are two people requesting audience with you." A waitress said.
"Is it the young duke and duchess?"
She nodded.
"Tell them that…I'll meet them in the car and also that I'm not here," I said and dove into the waffles.
"We heard your voice, idiot," Emilie said at the door of the balcony. "Ew, what are you wearing?"
I glowered at the waitress and rubbed a hand across my face. "Is it time to go home yet?"
"Heavens no!" Emilie barked with a laugh and pulled me up. "The girls, there are so many, just keep following us around. They won't leave! You need to do something, and fast. Otherwise they might follow us home and then there's gonna be a big mess!"
"What am I supposed to do? You expect me to teleport you guys out of here or something? " I said and tried to find the waitress. I needed some eggs now.
"Don't be a coward! I did all I could, now it's your turn. You're good at calming people down. They've got Jack cornered in the front," she said and pulled me away.
The glass French style doors of Peter Pancake were closed to the dozens of girls beating on them. They all jumped up and down and made desperate pleas for Jack to have their children.
Oh dear.
"Get out of here! If they break through they'll eat you alive!" Jack said furiously and waved me off.
There was only one way to get a crowd of teenage girls off your back.
"Uh, shoo! Go away girls!" I said.
They quieted and narrowed their eyes at me. Ok, maybe not that way. But I knew another way!
"Who's that?"
"Who the hell is that and why is she in there with Jack?"
"Why is she dressed like a piñata?"
"She looks like a piñata."
"That's a nice dress."
"I guess. She doesn't have the top for it though. She should try a wrap."
"Definitely."
"Red makes her look kind of scary. Like a bloody swamp ghost."
"Ok, hush girls…sisters!" I shouted slightly embarrassed, but if my plan worked, I was going to be more than slightly embarrassed by the end of it. "I am one of you! I am of your common plight! I too love Jack and have come to-to um…"
I glanced at Emilie who was goading me on.
"Bask in his Jackiness!" I finished. "I too have been ignored by the hot guys of society and come here in hopes that my feelings will be returned by he, the hottest of the hot. I know how you feel. You feel rejected by cupid. You have lost all hope of ever finding love. But sisters, listen to me and listen well. I am going to go out on a limb and draw Cupid's bow and arrow myself. I might be successful and I might not, but either way the pain is mine. My only wish is that you live through me so that you may be spared the hurt of imminent rejection and only experience the possible joy through my eyes, as I go down on one knee and set my heart at his feet."
As I spoke their skeptical face turned to big puppy dog eyes as they watched me act like a big sappy romantic idiot. The people in the restaurant had grown silent and were watching and eating like some sort of in flight show.
I grimaced and got down on one knee and took his hand. "Jack um…uh,"
"Foxworthy," Emilie said.
"Corinthian," A girl in the crowd suggested.
I nodded my thanks to them and continued. "Jack Timothy Corinthian Hunter, will you go to Jennifer's Staying Alive for over a Year anniversary ball thingy with me? Please?"
The girls all smiled encouragingly at me as they forgot their previous rage and obsession. Nothing distracts better than a good love story.
Jack just stared at me slack jawed, evidently trying to ruin the plan.
"Say yes, boy!" A man in the back called.
"Say yes, Jack!"
"Say something!"
"Open your heart!" The girls hollered. They were fully ensconced in the scene now. They were no longer a pack of crazed girls; they were my audience living vicariously through me.
"Um, y-yes?" He stuttered and swallowed nervously as a blush spread across his cheeks.
The crowd erupted in applause and I swore someone was throwing flowers.
I stood and pulled Jack down in a low bow. The girls cheered some more and then dispersed leaving Peter Pancake a safe place to eat pancakes again.
"Thank you, thank you!" I said and smiled graciously as I pulled Jack out the door.
He followed in a daze and Emilie ran after us, bags in hand.
Once we were out of sight, he reared back and we stopped.
"That was brilliant!" Emilie cried. "Right Jack? You can't write stuff like that! That was gold."
"What can I say? When you're good, you're good. We're probably the best actors in the world. Right Jack, or should I say Timmy?" I responded.
He nodded absently and stared into the distance.
Emilie and I exchanged looks.
"You ok, Jack? You look a little spacey. The girls didn't touch you inappropriately did they?" she asked.
He shook his head.
"Hungry?" I suggested.
He paused and then shook his head, "Not really."
There was a pause, and I ruffled the edges of my huge crinoline. Why was I still wearing this?
"Did any of you guys take my clothes from the dressing room?" I asked.
"What's the matter, Jack? You're killing the mood," Emilie said, totally ignoring me.
He looked down and then shook his head. "No. I-I just…Did you really ask me out on a date or was that just for show?"
He examined his fingernails like he didn't care but he kept throwing sidelong glances at me.
"I asked you out on a date?"
"Yes! Just now in the pancake house. You asked me to go to Jennifer's party with you," he said and threw his hand down in indignation.
I was a bit shocked. "Weren't we always going to go to the ball together in the same car and then leave together in the same car? Wasn't that a date already?"
"That doesn't count!" He said.
"Uh, I'm going to call for the Limo," Emilie announced and ran off.
"What do you want? Movies and dinner or something?" I meant that as a joke but he looked pretty serious.
"Well, yes! It's the first time anyone's ever asked me on a date and I wanted it to be special," He snapped and folded his arms.
"What do you mean first time? You've been on hundreds of dates. I know because I've been on them!" I responded.
"I've taken girls on dates. I've never been treated to one. I've always been the one to make all the arrangements. It's the first time anyone's ever asked me on a date and now I found out I'm just going to be driven to some stupid party!
"Fine, we don't have to go to the 'stupid party'. You can wait for 'the one' and have the perfect 'first time'. We can just drive in the car like I said before," I made bunny ears for each quotation.
"Ok, ok! I'll do it if you want to…I just don't think I'm ready for that."
I sighed and threw an arm around him giving up on normalcy. "No, we can wait. This is not the type of thing you rush into. I want you to be happy during your first time."
He shook his head and smiled sweetly. "It's ok. I want to do it now. I know that it will be special no matter what."
I smiled back. "I'm glad that I have the honor of being your first time. I promise that it will be perfect."
We hugged. "Will it hurt?" He whispered.
Hurt? What were we talking about again? I pulled out of the hug and gave him a look- and that's when I noticed Emilie staring at us with the limo waiting behind.
The look on her face summed it all up, so her following sentence was quite unnecessary. "Were you guys talking about fucking?"