A/N: No need for long notes on this one. Read and review!

Disclaimer: Characters & Twilight Saga references are Stephenie Meyer's. Not mine. I would have done so much more with Edward and showers…I'm just saying.

X. Gravitron

The evening had not been going exactly as I'd planned. While I was having a great time, I hadn't seen anyone spark Jake's interest other than me, and it was a little frustrating. Plus, like always, I kept losing sight of the fact that I needed to keep my eye out for this elusive other woman, and I wondered if I'd missed her. Maybe she'd been right there, and I'd missed her because I was tripping in the funhouse.

After trying to haul around the giant panda bear for thirty minutes, I finally handed it off to a little girl waiting in line for the carousel. She couldn't have been older than six, and she jumped up and down excitedly over the black and white bear that stood taller than her. Her mother thanked us for the gift. I was happy to get rid of it. As hard as Jake had to work to win it for me, I was not looking forward to explaining it to Edward if he ever decided to visit my room again. I was worried that Jake might have been upset that I'd given it away, but the look on his face told me that he was just as pleased that the little girl could have such an impressive prize. I nudged him knowingly, and he smiled brightly. It was just one more endearing quality that made up his personality.

We tried out a few more rides, including the Ferris Wheel. I was eager to get on it and see far above the crowds. Despite all the distractions, I hadn't lost sight of my goal, and I knew that the giant wheel would give me a bird's eye view of all the fair-goers. It would also give Jacob a chance to see her. The movie in my mind of his imprinting shifted gears: instead of their movie theatre encounter, he would see a beautiful young woman from the top of the ride, and he'd call down to her. In that instant they would be drawn to each other, and she'd wait for him to descend from the top. Then they'd lock eyes and float away together, and I'd happily have to find my own ride home. I knew who I'd call.

And as we travelled up to the top on the ride, I frantically searched for her. Jake sensed my tension, and misinterpreting, he pulled me back and into him, rocking the seat. I felt his hand reach around me until they rested on my opposite hip. In the gentle breeze of the rotating wheel, he relaxed next to me closing his eyes. He sighed deeply contented, and snuggled me closer. He nuzzled my hair, and I felt his warm breath on my head as he breathed me in. I had nowhere to go, and I focused on having the ride end. I'd never felt so trapped in all my time with Jake. When finally the ride ended, I bolted up so fast it made the whole seat rock.

This was starting to become a trend. I wanted to get back to the casual playfulness that I was supposed to share with him, so I walked toward the more intense rides. I needed something distracting, that would put distance between me and the thoughts that were swirling in Jake's head. Something easier.

We approached a strange looking ride that I hadn't noticed before. It was shaped like a spaceship and it was spinning out of control. In the dark, it was hard to miss, all lit and screaming. I wasn't sure if that was the people inside or the ride itself, but it looked distracting. I pointed to it.

"What's the Gravitron?" I asked Jake as he came up behind me. We both stared at the strangely foreign ride.

"Hmm. I don't know. Let's find out." Together, we made our way up the ramp to the entrance. From up close, it really did look like a spaceship, and I felt like we were about to take off into the sky. Inside, a circular railing was in the center, and along the walls were black angled pads. There were no seats, and I watched the others in front of me as they casually leaned against the mats facing the middle. We were in a round room, the hollowed out center of the vessel.

As the ride began, it spun, picking up pace quickly. Before I knew it, I was pushed against the pad, my back squishing securely against it. I tried to move my arms and legs, but they felt like they weighed a ton, and they flopped back down on their own accord. The sensation of spinning so quickly put pressure all over my body and in my head, and I found it dizzying, but it was welcome, like warmth. It made me numb as we spun at 3G's, and I found myself laughing at the feeling of it. The benches that we were on slid up to the ceiling as we swirled faster than imaginable. It was exhilarating, and the tips of my fingers tingled. When it slowed and ended, it was too soon for me. I got down slowly, wobbling just a little, and made my way to the door with the rest of the riders.

As we got off the Gravitron, I staggered a little down the metal ramp to the steady ground below. My equilibrium was all but gone from the fast gravity defying spin that we'd just taken, and my head felt a little constricted now that we were back again. This was not generally a good thing for someone like me. I stood still for a moment, trying to steady my legs, grasping the railing surrounding the ride. A couple of deep breathes, and I was pretty good again, grounded by the normal lack of movement. I couldn't believe how fun it was. Where else could you be spun like a top until your feet leave the floor?

I turned around to tell Jake how much I'd enjoyed it, but he was not right behind me. For a second, I panicked, wondering how I had lost him. He's been right behind me as we left the ride. Then I saw him, and for a moment I felt the relief rush over me. Until I really looked at him, that is. He too had clutched the edge of the railing, trying to steady himself from the sea legs that the ride had given, but he had yet to let go. Upon closer inspection, he was sweating and his eyes looked heavy as he tried to stand upright with no luck. I couldn't believe my eyes, seeing my tall, strong friend crumpled with sickness.

I went over to him quickly, and grabbed his arm. He looked up at me and I could see how tired he was, his eyes sunken and skin washed out.

"Jake! Are you okay?" I tried to support him, but his weight was too much. He straightened as much as he could, but the sick look on his face did not disappear.

"Yeah," he said, struggling to maintain his manliness in front of me. "I just need to eat something. Get something in my stomach."

I looked at him disapprovingly from under his heavy arm, unsure about his assessment.

"Jake, are you sure? I mean, if you're not feeling well…"

He straightened completely, no longer using me for support. His face became determined, and marched off to the nearest food trailer. It was bright pink, lit up by the hundreds of bare yellow bulbs that ran in rows over its outside. It had brightly painted pictures of cotton candy, lemonade, and pretzels all over.

"I'm fine now. I'm starving, and that ride really threw me for a loop." He smiled at me, though I could see that he was trying hard to maintain the façade. I looked up at him, still unsure whether this was a good idea.

"Okay, I guess. I'll buy." I hesitated but finally approached the counter and looked up into the high booth at the man. "One lemonade and…" I looked at Jake expectantly.

"One funnel cake," he told the man behind the window. Immediately, he went to work, filling our order. I grimaced as he picked up the funnel, messily filled with batter, and squeezed the handle over the fryer. Thick noodles of batter poured out of it into the oil, snaking and winding themselves over each other until they formed a tangle of fried dough. He removed it as it turned golden brown and plopped the heap on a plate. Then he took a cylinder of powdered sugar and dusted it heavily all over. I watched as the sugar melted into the doughnut, mixing with the hot oil that pooled on the surface and shown. He placed it on the counter and went to get my lemonade.

Jake reached around me and took it, wafting the smell to me. It made my stomach turn slightly, the aroma of overused grease and sickeningly sweet sugar, and I wondered how Jake could possibly want that after feeling so ill. He eyes were huge as he looked at the spaghetti-like clump.

"Want some?" he offered, but I shook my head quickly, reached for my just-delivered drink, and paid the man. He dove into the funnel cake, licking goo off his fingertips as he quickly devoured it.

At first, it looked like he had been right, as he greedily ate the mound of dough. My mood lightened at that, happy that he was feeling better. We wandered around the carnival grounds for awhile, while Jake munched his funnel cake and I sipped my lemonade. The sun had disappeared, and the lights from the rides and games illuminated the small area around them, deceptively bright. We were making another round past the carnies, and Jake's treat was almost gone, when he suddenly stopped with a horrified expression on his face. He searched around frantically, tossing his funnel cake in the effort, and heaved his body toward the nearest garbage can. Sticking his whole upper body into the can, he noisily threw up all of the disgusting confection. It was another reason for me to hate them. I walked over to comfort him, unsure whether or not he'd want me to. I knew how men could be about those things. He continued to lean over the trash for a moment longer, though it seemed to me that he was done. I rubbed his back reassuringly. He pushed me away gently.

"Bella, please," he whispered hoarsely. "I don't want you to have to…"

"Have to? Please, Jake. In case you haven't noticed, I'm not a delicate flower." I handed him my lemonade, and he downed it quickly. His eyes were sunken in even worse than before. I sighed, defeated once again. "Let's go home, huh?"

I dragged him back to the car with a great deal of effort. He was heavy, and not walking properly. Even the few blocks that we needed to go were enough, and I was relieved when we were at the car. I put him in the passenger side and rolled down the window a little so that the cool air would perhaps help him feel better. Then I climbed into the driver's seat, adjusting it to fit my short legs.

He tried to protest, but Jake was in no shape to drive. He still looked pretty green, and I didn't know how safe it was for him to drive. He curled up like a ball in the seat next to me as I drove through Sequim towards home. By the time we were out of town, he was asleep and I was left with my own thoughts.

Despite the fact that I enjoyed most of the day, it had been a loss. Again. I wondered what I was doing wrong. Maybe I was trying too hard. Maybe I just needed to let it go on its own. But I didn't have that kind of time. In fact, I was running out of it, because it wasn't just Jake's happiness that was riding on this. While that was my main concern, other things were factors too that led me to want this so badly. For one, I wasn't getting any younger. Every day went by, and with it, I aged that much more. My mortality looked me in the mirror every day, and while the changes from one day to the next were not obvious, over time they were. I could see the difference in myself from when I had first come to Forks, and the idea frightened me. I was willing to put in the effort to do this for Jake, my protector, but I couldn't put off my change much longer if I wanted to keep up with Edward.

Then, there were the Volturi. I hadn't thought much about them since the night of the big fight, but I didn't knew what they had planned for me or when they'd come. My fear was not only for myself, but for the vampires that protected me. And all the Quileutes who did the same. What would happen to them if they came looking for me? I shivered at the thought. Their presence in my world frightened me.

"Bells?" I heard Jake whisper in the dark. His voice melded with the air streaming in through the cracked window, so that it was soft enough that I barely heard it. I thought he'd been sleeping.

"Yes," I whispered back, unsure if I'd imagined him or not. He turned away from the window then and watched me for a long time. I keep glancing at him over and over waiting for him to continue while I focused my attention on the road.

"When are you going to let him go?" At first his question confused me. I thought maybe he was asleep and just talking like I did, but when I looked over at him, his eyes were clearly open and alert. His face was ashen and he looked tired, but he was clearly awake. I sighed, realizing what he was talking about.

"I…" I let my voice trail off. He was still watching me, and I shot him an apologetic look. I could not answer his question, because there wasn't an answer.

"Bella, I love you. I'd give anything for you. I will give you everything. Wouldn't you miss everything? The sun? Your family? Your friends? Don't you think that you'd miss all that?" He looked away, out the window. For a long time he just watched the landscape pass us by in the dark. When he spoke again, his voice was quiet again. "Wouldn't you miss me? Wouldn't you miss life?"

I stared guiltily out the windshield. He was right, because I would miss all those things. I would miss being able to go out freely into the sun. I would never be able to see it again without looking over my shoulder. I would miss my family, especially Charlie, and my heart ached at the knowledge that I'd never see him again after my change. I'd miss my friends, too. Especially, I'd miss Jacob. I didn't know what it would be like after I'd been changed, but I was sure it was not what I would want—he would not look at me the same way, if at all. I felt my chest cripple at the idea that I wouldn't have him anymore and I sagged over a little at that. But what would I do without Edward? I pushed it out of my mind, because I didn't think I could deal with that kind of pain.

"Jake, I…" Again, I continued sadly, but couldn't finish. He turned back to me and looked at me. He put his hand up.

"Please, just think about that—all the things you'd give up. I want you. I need you, and I am the best thing for you." His tone was resolute, and he sat up straighter in his seat. "I don't want to waste time. We have something here. But I can't do this if you won't let him go. Bella, I am the only thing for you. I'm not asking you to die."

"He's not asking that of me."

His gaze hardened angrily. For a minute, he looked like he wanted to fight with me, but then he softened tiredly. I continued to stare straight ahead. I couldn't look at him for fear of seeing his anger again. He turned over in his seat once again.

We drove in silence. I was doing everything wrong. My heart hurt at the choices I'd made, at the confusion that I'd brought upon the men of my life, and on myself. And I didn't understand it. Why was I confused? I loved Edward, but when Jake and I were together he became my strength, holding up the weight of the world for me, He'd give up everything for me, put it all on the line, unabashedly. And he made me happy, in his own way.

But what would I give up in the process? What had I alreadygiven up?

I'd seen heaven and I'd chosen to come back to earth to feed the world's hungry. I needed to find a better source of food.

"Jake?" I didn't know if he was awake, but he turned in his seat at the sound of my voice.

"Hmm?"

"Will you go to Seattle with me?" I posed the question already knowing the answer. I already knew Jake would go to the ends of his own little earth for me if I asked. He sat up a little straighter and an excited glint came in to his eye, despite his lingering sickness

"Of course. When do you want to go?"

I hadn't thought that far. "Um, soon. I'll let you know."

He smiled sleepily at me, and sighed contently. He knew that this would be a long trip. He knew that it was an important trip, and he knew that when I'd asked him, I was asking a lot. What he didn't know was that I couldn't go alone with him. It was a little selfish of me—and it hadn't really worked out the last time we'd tried—but I needed Edward to come too. I needed him to know that he still held my heart, and the only way that I could let him know that was by showing him. I couldn't tell him, but he could come and see how much I still needed him. How much I would always need him.

When we got home, I roused Jacob as much as I could and brought him into the house, slung over my shoulder. He was able to stumble along, though he was still obviously feeling sub par. There was no way I was letting him drive home with as sleepy as he was. I opened the door to the house and he stumbled over to the couch, immediately collapsing on it. It was late, and I made a quick call to Billy to let him know that Jake was sick and would be staying at our house. He didn't seem concerned.

I tucked him onto the couch and covered him with a blanket. He immediately turned over and curled up, and I stood there watching him quietly. His body rose and fell with his heavy breathes. When he was like this, so vulnerable, it reminded me that he was such a wonderful person. He was so peaceful, and a part of me wanted to hug him. He was so good, and it was a reminder of all the things that drew me to him in the first place. As he quietly snored, he looked like the teenager that he was, his face soft and youthful. And he wasn't trying to throw himself at me. That was another plus. I sighed, and went to go turn off the front porch light and lock the door. I stared out the front window, revelling in the quiet darkness of the night. As I stood there, I thought I saw the trees shift, just a tiny bit, and I smiled, knowing that all the things that were haunting me would be driven far away by my diligent protectors—inside and out. I smiled to myself and breathed deeply. Then, I stole upstairs to my room and closed the door.

Chapter Notes: Hi-ho Seattle! Edward's back kids! I can't wait to see what you think. So please review! I truly adore all the love and patience! And did I mention that we'll get to see Edward back? Yay! Thanks!

Also, if you get a chance, please check out Cwinche's story, The Hunt. It takes place in S. Meyer's world, but with another set of vampires, and it's really developing into a great read! Thanks everyone for your continued support!