Ryuk disappeared after seven days leaving Naomi blinking wondering if she had finally become somewhat sane; she ended up deciding that she hadn't because in the next moment she was drooling over the image of an outraged and very confused Light Yagami. For some reason he seemed to be having a brain lapse, because his personality had been warped from that of an old man to a five year old (he had skipped adulthood and adolescence altogether).
Before he had been eerily silent, now he piped up every five seconds to protest his charges. For he was, as he claimed so vehemently, completely and utterly innocent. He even suggested that he might have been framed by the evildoer. Naomi wanted to bash her head against a computer, because she knew that Yagami Light was Kira. She had always known, he practically told her himself. And now instead of threatening her by blaming her suspicion on insanity he was just disregarding it all together, it was insulting.
And because of Light Yagami's confusion Naomi herself became confused, what happened to her self-assured stalker, the man who sat so still on the park bench? What happened to his dark and accusing eyes that looked far older than they should have? What had happened to his sardonic sense of humor, his sense of irony? It all appeared to have faded with the shinigami and she was hopping from one foot to another in frustration. She almost wanted to call Ryuk back, to summon Mr. Snuggles back with him.
But no, instead she was stuck with a whining Yagami Light and a whining Amane Misa and a very bored and frustrated L. A bad combo at best, but when they were at their worst she was considering suicide as a viable option. She hated her life so very much.
(And without her shinigami pal to vent to she was left writing in a blasted diary like some hormonal teenager. If Mr. Snuggles ever found it she would be doomed to an eternity of hellish torment, the old Mr. Snuggles that is the new one didn't look particularly bright enough to find it. Or bored enough to care.)
The worst however was the look of horror on L's face when she walked into work wearing her very own Lolita outfit, or perhaps it was when Matsuda commented on how pretty she looked. Pervert-san was right, L was a complete bastard.
"Don't force me to employ a uniform policy, Naomi-san, I wouldn't want Matsuda-san to be too distracted by your comely legs." L took a sip of his over-sweetened tea and proceeded to stare disapprovingly at her white legs.
"Goddammit did you just call my legs comely?" She really hoped he hadn't and that she had just hallucinated the moment and it was all some horrid nightmare, unfortunately she was wrong.
L continued to drink his murky tea (which she had once again forgotten to poison), with an evil expression on his face. Pervert-san, it was the perfect nickname, it almost made up for the fact that Misa Amane was a man-stealing pseudo Lolita whore. Almost but not quite, she would still have to be destroyed.
Just after she was tortured of course, Naomi needed to find some popcorn in order to watch. Revenge tasted like salty butter, sweet salty butter.
I just figured out you are turned on by handcuffs
…
What the hell?
Author's Note: Not the funniest I've ever done but eh, have to have a plot sometimes. About her being able to see Ryuk, I might get to explaining that in about ten chapters or so or I might not at all. I figured it was worth mentioning since it's been asked about in two reviews. As for our comma metaphor contest Demetra's in the lead, Ivory Goddess in second place and the rest of you can battle it out. If you wish to join the contest find a creative way to complain about my lack of grammar skillage. Thanks to readers and reviewers, way more than I ever expected when I began writing this. So reviews?