Chapter 10

Look at me
My depth perception
Must be off again

Cause this hurts deeper
Than I thought it did
It has not healed with time
It just shot down my spine

Saliva - Rest in Pieces

"What the hell is going on?"

Standing from her chair, Stella tore her eyes from Beth and looked at the others in the room, "Guys could you give us a moment." She said, her tone leaving no room for argument. Both Hawkes and Danny stood, the pair of them struggling to look at Beth. Flack had stood and had eyes for no one but Beth, wanting nothing more than to reach out and touch her, but after a not to subtle shove from Danny he followed everyone else out.

As Stella shut the door, standing beside Beth the younger woman spoke, her eyes still locked with Macs, "He's back isn't he?" she asked, her body not relaxing when Stella rested what was meant to be a comforting hand on her shoulder. Without waiting for Mac to answer she shook her head, "Why wasn't I told?" she felt betrayed and it showed on her face.

Mac dropped the file he held onto the desk, his hands coming to rest on his hips, "You weren't told because...because you're not involved in this case." He told her firmly, Beth took a quick step forward struggling to hold back the tears in her eyes.

"Why the hell not Mac, you have no right whatsoever to do this! I know him better than anyone here, I can help." She argued, standing her ground as Mac stepped around the table coming to a stop in front of her and laying his hand over hers as it rested on the back of the chair.

"Beth, this is too personal for you. You're involvement could jeopardize the case. I know how much you want to catch him, but you have to stay out of this one." He told her. Beth shook her head,

"You can't keep me off this?" her voice shook slightly, as she struggled to squash down the extreme amount of betrayal she felt. This case had haunted her for two years, she knew she belonged on it and couldn't understand why Mac was pushing her out.

Mac sighed, and looked down for a moment before he spoke again. "My decision is final Beth, now go home, and take a couple days." It was an order more than a request. Beth continued to stare at him, her whole body vibrating with anger, as she shook her head, roughly pulled her hand from his and headed out the room.

Stella winced as the door hit the wall with a bang before she turned to Mac, "Mac, are you sure this is the best thing for her?" she asked needing him to reassure her it was the right thing to do. Mac continued to stare in the direction Beth had left as he answered,

"We need to have clear heads to even have a shot at catching this guy; it's to personal for Beth. It's the right thing to do Stella."

"Beth wait up." Beth came to a stop on the steps outside the lab, unable to ignore Flack calling out to her anymore.

"What do you want?" she asked refusing to look at him, as he came to a stop in front of her, slightly out of breath.

"Beth look at me." He said gently, his hand trailing down her arm before his hand took hold of hers. Beth faltered and looked at their hands, taking a breath she forced herself to look up, "Talk to me please, and stop shutting me out."

"What is there to talk about Don?" she asked quietly, with a shrug of her shoulders, "You know what happened those 2 years ago and you think talking it out is going to help?" she pulled her hand from his and shook her head.

"Why didn't you ever tell me?" he asked, Beth looked up at him,

"It has nothing to do with you Don, it's my history, my life, my problem," she said as she attempted to walk past him, Flack however wasn't finished, reaching out he took hold of her left arm and pulled her back, turning her around to face him.

"Beth I care about you god damn it! I want to help you but I don't know how, I need you to talk to me!" he exclaimed, "Just please let me in. Let me help you." His voice was pleading, and it broke her heart. It would be impossible for him to understand, Beth barely understood it herself. Beth found herself unable to hold back the tears any longer.

As they spilled over her cheek she looked up into Flack's eyes, the Detective almost staggering back from the pain shining in her eyes. "I can't." She told him, pulling her arm back as a sob broke free. Shaking her head again she took a step back, "I can't Don, I'm sorry." Wrapping her arms around her stomach she turned and quickly hurried down the rest of the steps, not once looking back as she crossed the street.

Danny watched in the background, his own heart aching for his friends, he didn't know how to help Beth. Or to help Flack but he did know he was going to help get the son of a bitch who had started all this. Stepping up to Flack he let his hand grip the man's shoulder, "Come on man, it's time to get back upstairs." He told him.

Flack tore his eyes from Beth's retreating figure, and slowly turned around to face Danny, "I don't know how to help her Danny." He said, struggling to hold himself together. Danny nodded in understanding,

"There's nothing much you can do for her right now Flack, you just got to hang on in there, make sure she knows your there for when she's ready to talk." He told him. Flack nodded and the two headed back into the building.

As they entered the conference room Lindsey was talking, "So where do we start Mac?" she asked. Mac looked at her,

"We go over all the evidence from the cases here, see if we can't find something we missed before." He told her, Lindsey nodded taking hold of the box he held out to her, "Flack, we're going to need more info on the latest two victims."

Flack nodded, not meeting the older man's eyes as he turned and headed back out the room. Watching him go Mac sighed, knowing how hard this must be hitting him.

"Hey Flack, fancy grabbing a cold one after work tonight?" Angell asked as she settled herself onto the edge of Flack's desk, some 4 hours after he left the crime lab. Flack however didn't acknowledge her presence; he kept his eyes trained on the paper in front of him, wishing she'd get up and leave on her own. Frowning slightly Angell looked at him, a slow smile creeping on to her face as she pulled the file from out of his hands, "Come on, you work too hard." She laughed.

"I'd rather not." Flack answered cuttingly, not sparing her a look as he snatched the file back off her. Angell sighed leaning forwards slightly,

"Come on, I thought maybe we could pick up where we left off the other night." She said quietly, shocked when Flack abruptly pushed away from his desk, before standing up and glaring at her.

"Back off Angell!" he growled, no longer in the mood to try and be nice, "I'm not interested okay, nothing is going to happen here and since you have a hard time understanding that, I've been to the Chief and requested that he no longer have us be partners!"

Angell had the decency to look highly affronted and embarrassed as she looked around the bull pen. Many of the cops around had turned after hearing Flack's raised voice. Standing from his desk, she looked at Flack for a moment longer, before turning on her heel and storming out of the precinct.

Flack watched her go, unable to regret losing his temper with her. Shaking his head, he dropped back down into his chair and re-opened the file in his hands. Glad that at least one nightmare was over and done with.

Two days had passed since Beth had discovered Mac had reopened the case, and she hadn't been allowed back to work. Mac had stupidly given her some time off, which in turn wound her up even further. He was keeping her out the way, and she hated that. Mac was keeping her out of the loop, just like it turned out her old team back in Washington had.

Holding the phone to her ear, Beth struggled to hold in her anger as her old boss picked up the phone, "Why the hell didn't you tell me you had spoken to Mac about this case Giles?" she demanded to know, not even bothering with a greeting, instead she shot straight to the point as she paced the length of her apartment.

"Look Beth, you've made this case to personal..."

"Because it is personal Giles, that bastard killed Todd and he very nearly killed me! I belong on this case!" she exclaimed, her fingers raking through her hair as she took a breath. On the other end of the line, Giles sighed deeply, sounding tired as he answered her,

"Beth I gave Detective Taylor my opinion and he happened to agree with me. You're safer away from this..." Beth cut him off with a laugh

"That's bull and you know it. He's back and keeping me away from this case, will not keep him from finding me. He knows I'm still alive, and you and I both know he'll be back to finish what he started." She reminded him, not allowing him time to answer as she hung up. Turning around quickly she launched the phone at the wall, with such a force it shattered and fell to pieces on the floor.

Pacing through her apartment, Beth began to open drawers and cupboards, not really sure what it was she was looking for. Slamming them shut she turned in frustration and slammed her hands down on the counter in front of her. A knock on the door caught her attention, and taking a deep calming breath she walked over to it, pausing before she opened it.

"Who is it?" she called, her eyes fixating themselves on the drawer which held her gun.

"It's Stella!" came the muffled reply, relaxing slightly Beth opened the door and forced a smile onto her face as she looked at the other woman. Who for the past 2 days had been dropping in to be sure Beth was okay.

"Hey can I come in?" she asked, as Beth nodded and stood aside, opening the door a little further.

"Sure." She replied quietly as Stella smiled and stepped inside, her eyes immediately locking onto the battered remains of Beth's phone. "It broke." Beth said simply as she saw what Stella was looking at. Instead of pressing the subject Stella nodded,

"So how you doing?" she asked, taking in Beth's tired appearance. Closing the door Beth shrugged her shoulders, her arms wrapping themselves around her stomach

"Fine." She answered shortly, "You want a drink?" she asked, not waiting for an answer as she walked into the kitchen. Stella watched her worriedly before following, leaning against the door frame as she watched Beth switch on the kettle and lean against the counter,

"I can't stay too long, I have to get back to the lab," she explained, not needing to say anymore as she watched Beth nod. A silence fell over the kitchen before Beth finally looked up at Stella,

"I can't sleep." She said, shaking her head as she ran a hand through her hair, a habit which became more obvious when she was frustrated. "I'm stuck here in my apartment, because Mac won't let me work. I have all this stuff which I can't do anything about because I'm not allowed..."

"What stuff?" asked Stella, watching as Beth frowned. Looking up at Stella, Beth realised that if she was stuck, unable to help on the case she may as well give them what she already knew. Even if it was all she could do.

Without saying a word she walked out of the kitchen, taking Stella's hand in hers as she did. Pausing at the door leading to the spare bedroom, she looked at Stella for a beat before pushing it open and stepping inside, "Beth what...what is all this?" Stella asked as she stepped slowly into the room.

Stopping in the centre of the spare room, Beth waved an arm around, "This Stella is everything I know..."

"You started up your own investigation?" Stella said, as she looked at the various clippings and photos on the wall. Beth nodded, crossing her arms,

"The papers called him 'The Butcher' because of the way he carved into his victims." She took a breath, her eyes locking onto a picture on the wall, "That was his thing, he'd cut into them, slowly...and he'd be careful not to do too much damage at first, it lasted longer then you see." Beth shook her head, and squeezed her eyes shut as she pulled down the sleeves of her jumper.

Stella stepped forward and wrapped her arms around Beth, glad when the younger Agent leaned into the embrace. "He destroyed so many lives and he's still getting away with it Stella..." she pulled away and looked up at Stella, "I haven't seen my family in over 2 years, because I've been afraid for them, I couldn't risk him going after them." She told her, her heart aching at the thought of her family.

Stella shook her head, one hand running over Beth's messy curls, "We're going to catch this guy Beth, I promise you that." She told her firmly,

"I've wanted to get him for so long you know, I've let this obsession ruin my life. I push away all the people I care about…"

"Like Don?" Beth looked up at Stella and shook her head, "Flack's a good friend Beth, and whatever Angell has made you believe is all lies. He cares for you, a lot more than I've known him to care for anyone before," she said. Beth turned away from Stella and wiped away the tears that filled her eyes. It hurt too much to let herself think about Flack at the moment, so pushing all thoughts of him aside she looked down at her desk.

Picking up 4, extremely thick files she turned back to Stella and held them out. "This is everything I've been able to find out over the last 2 years. There's a more detailed look into his past, there's his family tree, academic achievements, his likes, dislikes, everything we could ever want to know and more." She said crossing her arms.

Stella smiled softly and nodded, holding the files tightly, "Okay. I'll get these back to the lab, and we'll look over them." Stepping forward she let a hand rest gently on Beth's cheek, "Try and get some rest, you know where I am if you need to talk."

Beth nodded, thankful Stella was being so understanding and not pushing her, "Thanks." She whispered, the ghost of a smile on her face as she watched Stella turn and leave the apartment, the door closing with a quiet 'click' behind her.

For a moment she didn't move, but after running a hand tiredly over her eyes she glanced at her watch. Grabbing her jacket and bag she moved toward the front door, pausing for a moment before she turned and opened the drawer which held her sidearm. Removing the magazine she counted the bullets before loading it up again and placing it in her bag. Grabbing her badge, she fastened it to a chain around her neck, tucked it inside her jacket and left the apartment.

Beth walked out of the hospital, clasping a tub of sleeping pills tightly in her hand. It hadn't taken much to convince her Doctor to prescribe them. As much as Beth hated it, they were the only sure fire way she was getting any sleep tonight. Tucking them away into her bag she began walking down the street, heading back home. It was late afternoon and the streets were full of people heading home from work.

Then without any warning, the heavens above the city opened with a loud crack of thunder, and heavy rainfall battered down onto the streets of New York.

Despite everything, despite her mood, Beth laughed, and watched as the people out on the streets began running for cover. Not being one of them, she slowed her steps, enjoying the feel of the rain as it fell down. It was like always, the rain filled her with a sense of comfort and it was nearly as if, despite everything that was happening at the moment, that all was right with the world and she had nothing to worry about.

It had taken half an hour longer than usual before she finally reached home and upon entering her apartment Beth had bolted the front door and headed straight for the shower. Allowing herself to indulge in there for an hour, Beth reluctantly got out and dressed. Taking the pills the Doctor had given her she began her nightly check of the apartment.

After checking the door was locked she checked the windows before grabbing her side arm and switching on the safety. Heading into her bedroom she shut the door, before tucking her gun under her pillow and climbing in to the cold bed. Shivering she looked around the dark room, a familiar sense of loneliness washing over her.

Turning her body to the side Flack had occupied on the nights he had stayed Beth sighed, letting her hand run over the empty space. Closing her eyes she finally let down the wall that held all thoughts of him back and slipped into a peaceful slumber.

Morning.

An incessant buzzing woke Beth up the next day. Smacking her hand down onto the alarm clock, she groaned and rolled over, curling herself deeper into the covers, feeling a little more human after having the best night's sleep she'd had in a long time. Stretching her arms above her head, she kept her eyes closed enjoying the feeling of waking up slowly.

As her arms left the comfort of the duvet however she shivered, a frown etching its way onto her face as she opened her eyes. It was freezing cold, and as she pushed herself up into a seated position she immediately noticed the window open. Hadn't she checked everywhere before she went to bed last night? About to throw off the covers, she froze, her blood running cold as her eyes caught on the pillow beside her.

Swallowing down the sick feeling rising in her throat, Beth fumbled under her pillow for her gun. Holding it to her protectively she fought against the tears that filled her eyes, and tried to control the violent shakes that had begun taking her over.

There on the pillow beside her lay a long stemmed white rose. Reaching a hand out, Beth shakily picked up the note that lay underneath it. Closing her eyes she began unfolding the parchment, a loud sob escaping her as she opened her eyes and read:

'We'll be together soon. Two more to go.'

Yet another long chapter hope you enjoyed it! Remember reviews are love! Thanks as well to all those who've added me over the last few chapters.

N1kki1984 - Hey glad your enjoying the updates! I am getting one up every other day so yeah quite fast lol. As for evil Jess, well I'm not going to say much she will get worse in the upcoming sequel!

Donna - Yes that was probably the longest review I've ever gotten lol but it was fab and made me smile like always! It was so hard not having Beth give into that kiss but she's not going to put up with any crap! Glad you enjoyed seeing the way everyone reacted to the video as well I was unsure about that bit for a while. Thanks for listening to me whine over this sequel as well hun!

Elaine - Thanks again for your fab review huni! Your not the only one struggling to understand Mac's decision, I was as well lol Angell is going to cause so much trouble for Beth in the sequel...like a lot!