Confusing Questions

4 am in the morning and I'm wide a wake. This wasn't unusually, but the thing that was keeping me up was not of the recurring nightmares, but of the events that went on yesterday with Jake.Over and over again my mind replayed the image of him kissing me and me breaking his heart. Let alone the recurring questions in my head.

Was I just attracted to him or was there more?

Did he hate me or was he just not interested with begin friends with me?

And the kiss…………..

Because I enjoyed the kiss did that mean I was into him more than I thought?

Why does it have to be me? Me of all people, to have this implicated on the them. Life really was a pain in the ass, and there is no way of getting used to it.

*******

"Seth! Seth!"

I'm trying to get Seth to wake up but to no use. I could use the iron again..hmm…..but thinking back I better did Seth and Jacob sleep like the living Dead!!!

Jake, I let out a little sigh.

"come on Seth we better get going or we'll be late so wake up!!!" I gave him a very powerful slap across the face. Seth pulled a hand to his cheek and rubbed softly.

"GOD LEAH !!!,you don't have to slap me!"

"well, I had no choice,…so get up or I'll give you a slap that will make you weep like a baby!!"

Seth rolled of the bed, like the idiot he is, and walked to the bathroom.

When Seth was done after a very short period of time, we made our way to Emily's, unfortunately Emily and Sam wedding was today and we was all getting ready over there.I was heading over to Emily's mum's house because we were getting changed there and the boys over at Sam's ,I am somewhat glad they were getting married but would of liked it to be another day rather than today, sadly I'm under a dark cloud.

"hey Leah!! So glad you could make it !!" Emily greeted me at the front door with only half her hair done.

"hey em's ,how's it going"I gave her a quick hug and let go.

"great" She pulled me into her house clearly excited.

"my hearts pumping like crazy Leah, I've never been so nervous in my life!"

Rub it in will you,geez!

"come on em's just try and calm down and enjoy it !"

"Aright, maid of honour" Emily joked, and yes you heard right I'm maid of honour to my ex's fiancé who is also my cousin.I guess your wondering why didn't I say no and slap her cross the face? We'll 1) where family and I do love her 2) I want to rub it Sam's face that I'm well over him and can handle coming to his stupid wedding.

"come on Le we still got loads to do" She took a look at me,top to bottom.

"…and we still have to get you in to the world hottest dress."Is she crazy maid of honours don't wear hot dresses we're so posed to look old and stupid.

"you are kidding me, a hot dress for the maid of honour?"I asked her while she dragged me up the stairs.

She nodded " yeah, you wouldn't think I'll make you into an old granny, did you?"

"well I guess I thought you will 'cause all weddings have big green puffy dresses."

"well mine doesn't" she place her hand against her chest and I caught sight of her diamond ring which once belonged to me.I tired to ignore the twinge of jealousy I lead me to her room where everyone was getting ready even my mum was there.

"Leah,how come your so late ,I would of thought you would have been here ages ago. Thinking that's it's your cousin big day" Unlike some people, my mum still thought I had a grudge against Emily And Sam, which is not true we'll maybe still Sam.

"Mum seth was playing dead again so it's his fault"My mum rolled her eyes and walked out, guess where I got all the rolling of the eyes from?.I sat down when Rachel came over to do my hair. She picked up a brush and brushed through my hair.

"Leah can I ask you something?" Oooo! this sounded juicy.

"sure, spill"

"well since you and Jacob are like…" I caught hold of my breath.

"you know like good friends, I was wondering if you knew what's going on with J."

"what do you mean?" I knew where this was going.

"lately, well yesterday mainly, his been really down" She put down the brush and grabbed the hair straightners.

"I mean like depressed down, do you thinks he's back on Bella."

I knew exactly what was wrong with him and that I was the one who caused it.

"Maybe, he hasn't said anything to me"

"oh,ok" I felt really bad I hurt the person I loved most almost like a second brother and now I was lying to his sister/ best friend ,I might as well head for the whole family.

After the whole 'making me beautiful' session it was time to see the pulled out a dark plum colour dress mini dress from the wardrobe. Which would only long enough to reach half of my thigh. It was strapless less and had a tiny gem stud flower in the corner. It was exactly the same dress as all the other brides maid but mine was a darker shade.

"oh Emily you seriously shouldn't have? This must of cost loads"

"well it is the least I could do"Emily whispered,I think she went back to the Oh-I'm-so-sorry-for-doing-this-to-you-leah Emily.

I put the dress on and walked down to the living room where everyone was waiting for the bride but I was last to arrive.

"wow Leah you look great!!" Rebecca said

"don't you think it's a little ,you know…"My mum gestured with her arms hovering her thighs.

"…..short?" My mum cared about me to much it was almost irritating.

"no no don't be silly Sue.." Emily's mum said grabbing a seat near my mum.

"…it's longer than the dress we wore when we were younger."Then they both began to giggle. The rest of us just stared at each other.

"come one Emily, were all here now so you can come down. Now !!!" Rebecca shouted.

Then we all heard foot steps coming from the looked gorgeous, she wore a Satan white strapless dress. Long and puffy, with a small amount of sequins on the bass of the dress, her hair up in a tight bun, her makeup done perfectly, she looked unbelievably beautiful.

"Emily! Is that really you!, you look to good to be true!" Emily's mum was in floods of tears and my mum was trying to reassure her that today wasn't a day to be crying and that she'll make her mascara run. Typical for my mum to say that.

"of cause it's me Le!" Her voice sounded whiny and full of all rushed over to Emil's side making sure we haven't forgot anything, and congratulating Rachel for her super skills of beauty.

"ok Ladies enough goggling and a wowing the cars out front." Kim said from outside.

We arrived at the church on time, everyone settled into their chairs, and us brides maid's and groomsmen were left behind figuring out who we have to walk into the church with, imprints linked arm in arm, dates linked and couples linked arms. And as usually I was left alone with no one to walk in I was wrong Jacob had no one as well.

"come Le link with Jake so we can get going."

Jacob looked totally miserable, His hands were in his the grooms men wore black trousers and a white, buttoned down to fourth button, they were such show looked anxious and Jacob looked so zoned out it was surprising he was remembering to breath.

"come on le"

Everyone looked back.

"ok! I'm moving"

I walked towards Jacob and placed my arm on his so we were linking like everyone else.

He looked down, and looked seriously hated me. We all moved forward toward the alter.

Jacob let go of my arm once we reached our places on the all the sudden I felt really cold, in away I wanted him to hold me again , I felt almost bare without him.

"why you pouting for?" Seth was standing besides me he was so Tall he was almost Jacob's height and he was getting big to, it was hard to believe it was by bother….wait did he just say I was pouting? I never pouted even as a child, my mum always said I was stubborn but never stubborn enough to get upset.

"I'm not pouting" I argued

"you so are" Seth said it in a really girly voice.

"what you so upset about?"

Was I upset that Jake let go of my arm? I am so messed up.

"nothing"

"whatevea u say sis"

Seth walked away and went to chat with Embry who was standing near Jacob talking.

I stared after Seth but my eyes seemed to set on Jacob and that very moment all I wanted was for him to hold me like yesterday.

Thnks for da review I've been struggling with many things like spelling and making the whole thing flow but should get better..

Xxlilmisstrouble-

*Blackwater* coming soon!