Windfall
Chapter X
A Splendid Predicament
Nutty woke up inside a pile of candy wrappers. He yawned, and groggily looked at his unslept bed. He made his way to his lavatory, "brushing" his teeth using a lollipop for a toothbrush and sugar as toothpaste. He went to his kitchen, ground jelly beans for his "coffee", and put on an abundance of sugar on the cup. After drinking his "coffee", he put on some candy and lollipop on his fur, admiring himself as he looked at the mirror.
He checked his cupboard for some "nourishment" but found nothing. He panicked a bit, before he composed himself. He went to the grocery to buy some sugar and candy. He went to the usual places where they put such items on display. They were empty. In a rush, he pushed his grocery cart around the place, looking for those sweet items, but the grocery seemed to lack what he craved the most.
He went to the cashier, who was Cuddles at that time. "Excuse me," Nutty said excitedly, before laughing. "Can you tell me where you keep the sugar?" he asked as soon as he stopped laughing.
"Hello Nutty. That would be aisle 5, as usual," the rabbit said.
"But there's no sugar there!" Nutty said.
"I could have sworn that there was just a delivery yesterday," Cuddles said, getting some records from under the counter. "There you are. See, we have deliveries for sugar and candy just yesterday, and it was placed on the proper aisle."
"But it isn't there!" said Nutty, now becoming more restive.
"Toothy," Cuddles called, and the purple beaver, who was mopping the floor, went to where Cuddles and Nutty was.
"Yes Cuddles?"
"You were the one who put the sugar and candy in place yesterday, right? Could you show Nutty here where you put it?" the yellow rabbit asked.
"Easy. Aisle 5," the buck toothed Tree Friend said.
"You're lying. Nothing ain't there!" Nutty said, jittering and shouting.
"C'mon. I'll show you," said Toothy leading the squirrel to aisle 5.
"See its—what? Where did all the sugar go?" asked Toothy. "I just put it here yesterday. Uh oh, it's lost."
"Lost? What do you mean it's lost?" Nutty said, grabbing the beaver by the apron. "You can't tell me it's lost!"
"I'm sorry, but it's lost. This is the place where we put the sugar, and there's nothing here," said Toothy. "Nobody transferred it as far as I know either."
"Don't you have any in storage?" asked the squirrel in desperation.
"Sorry, but no," said Toothy.
The green sugar-addicted creature screamed and ran out of the grocery.
He decided to go to places where they might be sugar. He first went to the diner, where Flaky was currently working.
"Sugar! Candy! Sweets!" he shouted his order in desperation.
"I'm sorry, but w-w-w-what is y-y-y-y-y-your order ag-g-g-gain?" asked the Flaky.
"Anything sweet!" he shouted.
"Well, I t-t-think I know what to f-f-f-f-fix you with," said the porcupine, going to a large cabinet to retrieve a large bag of sugar. But it was empty. "That's strange. I could have sworn there were fresh deliveries."
She looked further. It was then that she realized that the syrup, candies, in fact, anything sweet, was missing from the diner.
"Looks like it's your unlucky day," said Flaky. "All things sweet are missing. Someone stole them. I better report this to the police."
"Gaahh!" Nutty shouted, abruptly running out of the place.
Nutty went to all the places that he knew contained sweets, but all were lacking anything sweet. Even the vending machines were empty.
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Lammy was woken up by a loud knock on her door. "Coming," she sleepily said as she yawned a bit before opening the front door.
A blue streak grabbed her by the shoulders and pushed her against the wall. "Okay missy, give us the kryptonut!"
Lammy got the wind knocked out of her by that action and hit her head on the wall, disorienting her. "What are you talking about?"
"Don't play dumb!" Splendid said, his grip tight. "Sniffles heard! You stole that kryptonut!"
"I didn't steal anything!" said Lammy.
"Let's see," said Sniffles as he entered her room, and returned carrying the large green glowing nut shaped jewel. "Now what do you have to say for yourself?"
"Yes. That is the kryptonut! Keep it away!" Splendid said, letting go of Lammy and visibly recoiling.
"Oh! That thing? I bought that!" Lammy said.
"Oh you did? Don't lie! I heard Handy call Lumpy that you killed the Mole to get this jewel!" Sniffles accused.
"I bought that from Disco Bear!" Lammy shouted. "Yes, Mr Pickles killed the Mole, and yes, I know you think I really did it, and yes, I got the jewel, but I returned it, and bought it the next day! Handy just misinterpreted the scene! If you want to blame someone, blame Mr Pickles."
"Right. Got any proof of that?" Splendid demanded.
"Proof? Yes," said Lammy as she went to her room, and went back, and gave them a piece of paper. "That is the receipt from Disco Bear's jewelry shop!"
Splendid read it. He suddenly became red. "Oh my God. This is really embarrassing," said the superhero.
Sniffles grabbed the paper. "I don't understand. This says that you really bought it. Where did you get the money?"
"I sold a piece of land to Lumpy, remember? The money from that is more than what that rock is worth."
"Oops," said Sniffles. "I guess I never should make assumptions. I'm sorry."
Splendid was the first to go to the door. "I'm sorry, Lammy, but duty calls!" He flew away.
Sniffles watched as his hero flew away. "Well, I better go now!"
Lammy was about to reply when she saw Mr Pickles standing at the top of the door, holding a poker, behind Sniffles. The Pickle was about to strike the anteater in the head as the inventor stepped out of the house.
"Don't Mr. Pickles!" Lammy shouted as she saw the pickle swing the poker. Lammy closed her eyes as she jumped and grabbed the poker, then was horrified to hear a loud scream from the genius scientist. She opened her eyes, and to her horror, the poker was buried in the broken skull of Sniffles.
"Lammy! What are you doing?" asked Splendid, who returned upon hearing Sniffles' scream. He saw at a distance what appeared to be Lammy swinging a poker at the back of the anteater's head.
He landed in front the lamb. "Why did you kill Sniffles?"
"I didn't! It was Mr Pickles who killed him!" Lammy screeched, pointing at an inanimate pickle besides her.
"Lammy, I think you better come with me," said Splendid. "Don't worry, I won't hurt you."
"I didn't do anything!" she cried as she retreated back to her home.
The flying squirrel followed, intending to arrest the sheep. "Don't worry. I'll make sure you'll be alright."
"Get away from me! I'm telling you, it was Mr Pickles," she said as she backed up into her wall, standing beside the kryptonut.
Splendid stopped at that, not wanting to go any further. "Now come here, and be a good girl," he coaxed. He thought of ways he could arrest her without getting near the kryptonut and getting sick. Then he decided to simply blow away the big rock through the wall and away from Lammy.
He breathed deep, opened his mouth wide to ready himself for the effort.
Lammy felt helpless, until she saw Mr Pickles somehow jump to Splendid's shoulder, with a sharp knife ready to slit his throat open. "No Mr Pickles, don't hurt Splendid, it'll only make things worse!"
She looked around for a way to stop her friend from committing another murder. Then she saw the glowing rock besides her. She took it and threw it at Mr Pickles.
Splendid ignored that last statement, thinking that she was being crazy once more. His eyes were closed and his were mouth was wide open, stretching his cheeks to the limit. He was about to release a strong wind to blow away everything, when suddenly, something big entered his mouth and his cheeks contracted to their normal size. He tried to spit it out, but it was so big. It made him too sick to be able to again stretch his mouth and spit it out, and thus got stuck.
He staggered outside the building, and began vomiting uncontrollably. Splendid did not hold his vomit this time around, learning the lessons of the last time he tried that. But it did him no good, because he simply continued vomiting out his organs, and the kryptonut in his mouth blocked most of the vomit from coming out.
Lammy was looking from outside her window in horror and fascination at the death struggle of the superhero. The invincible Splendid was on his knees! That was something new to the lamb. She saw the flying squirrel inflate from his own vomit as the kryptonut in his mouth kept everything inside. Then he exploded, organs flying everywhere. The kryptonut flew high up in the sky, then dropped, coincidentally, on the chimney of Lammy's house.
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"Good riddance! That idiot deserves that!" Mr Pickles said after the death of Splendid.
"Mr Pickles! Why do you keep killing others! You shouldn't have tried to kill Sniffles and Splendid! Everyone will blame me!" Lammy admonished her friend as she picked up the kryptonut from her chimney and wiped off the vomit.
"It's their fault. They accused you of stealing! I couldn't let them get away with that!"
"But I'm going to be blamed for that!"
"I'm not letting them get you for something you did not do!"
"I know, but you can't just keep killing them!" said the lamb.
"I'm sorry if they blame you," said Mr Pickles.
"They all think I'm crazy, and now because of this rock, the beautiful glowing rock, they are after me!"
"But you have to admit, seeing Splendid actually die is a sight to behold! The paper hit lists his deaths at two. And now, you're the first resident to directly kill him!"
"But why did he die? All I did is to throw the glowing rock. Kryptonut? Is that it? Yeah, that's why I heard them call it, and it landed inside his mouth, and it made him all sick and vomitty!"
"That's his weakness. And now we know why those two are after it. My friend, you now hold the power over the town superhero!" Mr Pickles proclaimed proudly.
Then they heard a knock on the door.
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Cuddles felt guilty of the way he had treated his girlfriend. He acted a little bit overprotective when he learned that the raccoon twins were after her. And he did not take her side when Lumpy proposed the House Arrest of Giggles in Petunia's home.
He wanted to make it up for her. He volunteered to be a guard so he could spend more time with her, but trying to prevent Giggles from going out of Petunia's home made their relationship even worse. He briefly considered trying to help her escape, but decided that it was not wise to defy Lumpy.
He went to the Moose's trailer. He wondered if he was there or at the farm. He looked at the schedule of jobs at the Newspaper, and found that Lumpy had given himself a day off from all his work. But he hoped that Lumpy would, as he usually does, spend his time off at his trailer.
He knocked on the door. "Coming!" he heard a low voice shout. The door opened, and Lumpy looked at him. "Cuddles! Come in, dear friend!"
"How are you doing, Lumpy!" Cuddles greeted him as he entered.
"Doing nothing!" the moose replied, laughing as he offered the rabbit some snacks and a cup of coffee. "It's my day off! Free from any work! And I'm doing nothing!"
"Speaking of work, I need a favor."
"Anything for you, dear buddy!" said the moose.
"Well, I want to take Giggles on a date. Do you think you can let her go just one night?"
"Oh I'm sorry, but I can't decide that."
"You can't? But you're the chief of police! You decided that she's under arrest!"
"That is correct! But I am not a Police Officer today. Ask me that when I'm in uniform. Like I said, today, I'm doing nothing, so unless it's an emergency, or a special case, I won't talk of work," the Moose said. "Let's forget about that for a while. Want to go on some hiking, Cuddles?"
Cuddles was seeing the side of Lumpy when he's not at work. Lumpy, it was true, was the boss, the head of the town practically speaking, the one who assigns all the jobs, and the one who gave orders. Yet he was also a friend. That could be seen in how he interacts with them when he's not doing any job. He doesn't boss them around, he would spend time with them in the playground, and he could sometimes act with care towards his friends. But the moment he's on the job and that job happened to be that of your boss, he won't care of any friendship and boss you around.
They were in Lumpy's Lincoln continental, driving towards the base of the mountain. They drove past Lammy's house, when suddenly, Cuddles shouted.
"SPLENDID!" he said. "OH MY GOD!"
Lumpy slammed the breaks and looked on where the rabbit was pointing. "Is that Splendid the Superhero? And what's happening to his head? It's becoming bigger!"
Then there was a large explosion. Lumpy's car got covered with guts and blood. The two friends stepped out and looked at where the superhero had once been. "Did he die? Did the invincible hero just die?" Cuddles asked, not believing what he had just seen.
"Yeah. His third death! Where is that reporter Splendid when you need him," said the moose as they approached the place.
"This is Lammy's house. Near the edge but still inside the town," Cuddles said, recognizing the place.
"Well, let's see if she knows what happened," said Lumpy. They went to the door and knocked.
Lammy opened the door. "Yes?"
"Hello Lammy," said the moose, and saw the corpse of Sniffles inside, with the poker still stuck on his brain. "I take it you killed Sniffles?"
"No I didn't! It was Mr Pickles who killed Sniffles and Splendid!" Lammy shouted, pointing at a nearby inanimate pickle.
"You were the one who killed Splendid the Superhero?" asked Lumpy, disbelieving what he heard.
"It was accident! I threw a large rock at him, it got stuck in his mouth, and he just, well, exploded! I can't believe it either!" said Lammy. "I'm so sorry! It was Mr Pickles' fault! Please don't arrest me!"
"I still can't believe that you killed him! Splendid!" Cuddles said.
"Don't worry, I'm not a police officer today," said the moose. "Let's go and maybe we can still get on that hike. Bye Lammy."
"I still can't believe what I saw," said Cuddles as they walked to the car.
"What do you think about her?" asked the moose.
"She's crazy. She thinks a pickle did it when she kills someone."
"Yeah. But I can't arrest her because it was not intentional. There's no malice. I talked to her lots of times, and she really believes it was the Pickle who did it," said Lumpy.
"It would be like arresting Good Flippy for the evil done by Evil Flippy," Cuddles said as they entered the car.
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The next day…
Splendid had just arrived at his office in the Daily Acorn. That day, Lumpy was working as the editor.
"Splendid!" shouted the moose.
The flying squirrel, with glasses on his eyes, hat and tie, went to see what Lumpy wanted.
"Splendid, I've got some news that I want you to cover. First, the sugar and sweets have disappeared from this town. Check it out," said Lumpy. "And secondly. You know Splendid the Superhero? The same one with the same name and appearance as you?"
"Yes, I know him," asked Splendid.
"Well, Cuddles and I saw him die yesterday. Besides Lammy's home. I want you to go and check it out," said Lumpy. "But don't forget the sugar crisis! Sugar is very important! Very important, like if you're Nutty! But you're not! But even if you're not, it's very important! Now there's a thought! Sugar disappearing in thin air, especially after delivery! Sugar, sugar, sweets, candy, all sweets gone! Gone, I tell you! Finding out that it's gone, like I did when I went to the store, is enough to make you crazy! Did you know that I once switched sugar with cement? Ha! Ha! Ha! That was a dumb mistake, but could you blame me? The bags are so much alike! Literally! And it was on the top of a pile of cement with identical bags! So you can't blame me! Oh where was I? Oh yes, check out Splendid's death first, then look at the disappearance of the sweets in this town."
Splendid blanched. Someone saw him die. He had hoped to keep it a secret, but obviously, that became impossible.
"I see you're shocked too that someone like him could die just like that," Cuddles, who was working at the Daily Acorn that day too, at the typewriter, said. "I was shocked too! I never expected to see him die like that! I know that he died at that school explosion, but to see it with your own eyes! That's something! That's really something. He was invincible!"
"Yes, I know," said the reporter, the topic very uncomfortable for him.
"You want a partner? I can always call the Mole if you want."
"Thanks, but I'd rather work alone," said Splendid.
"Suit yourself," said Lumpy.
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Nutty was getting desperate. He had hoped that the sugar would reappear after a day, but when he went to the grocery, there was neither sugar nor sweets of any kind. He hopped on his scooter and went to the other places where he would expect to find sweets, but there was none.
Looking around, he saw Mime balancing on top of a giant ball. It transformed into a jawbreaker the closer he looked at it. His mouth watered. He parked his scooter, and jumped and grabbed the jawbreaker.
Mime fell to the ground at the sudden disappearance of the ball underneath him. He turned around and saw Nutty eating the piece of rubber, his teeth sinking into the soft material. Horrified, but unable to look away, he walked backwards, watching as the ball was punctured and deflated. It flew all around, Mime staring at it with mouth agape.
Which was a mistake since it flew so fast and his open mouth was so big that it flew right into his mouth, and into his throat. The Mime clutched his throat as he gasped for air, but it was futile as he collapsed and died from lack of oxygen.
Nutty was disappointed when his "jawbreaker" suddenly flew away and went into Mime's mouth. It was only then that he noticed that it wasn't a jawbreaker, but a big inflatable rubber.
"Psst."
Nutty looked around. He saw nothing.
"Psst."
"Who's there?" he said in panic as he looked for the source of the sound.
"Over here."
The voice was unmistakable. It was a friendly voice, and he remembered the good things the owner of the voice did to him. He went to the alley where the voice came from.
"I heard you want something," a figure in the shadows, wearing a hat and a trenchcoat, said.
"Yeah. We've been watching you," the other, wearing a trenchcoat too, but without a hat, added.
"Shifty! Lifty! Am I glad to see you!" Nutty shouted, remembering the time when they gave him a truck full of candy, so much so that the candy literally stabbed him. They also provided him with video games that one time he was "cured" of his sugar addiction.
"Ah yes. I know what you're looking for," said Lifty, and opened his coat. There was a single candy.
"Gimme! Gimee! I want it! I need it!" Nutty shouted frantically as he saw it.
"Sure. But it'll cost you!" said Shifty, as he snicked.
"I don't care!" Nutty said as grabbed a handful of dollar bills from his pocket and tossed it to them.
"Well, for that price, we could give it to you," said Lifty, giving the candy to Nutty, before picking up the money from the ground.
The green squirrel was happy as he clutched the candy in his hand. He tore off the wrapper, and put it in his mouth.
Words cannot describe the sweet sweet pleasure he experienced of something sweet touching his tongue for the first time in more than a day. It was like heaven, and he floated contentedly, relishing the heaven sent taste. But it was gone all too quickly.
"More! More! Oh please, give me more!"
"We would want to! I mean we really like you!" Shifty said.
"And we would want nothing more than devote our lives giving you candy, but…"
"But what? But what?" Nutty shouted.
"It took us very long and hard to look for this candy," said Lifty. "We nearly died too. Just for you. But because we like you very much…"
"We would again look for more candy," Shifty said, "But it would take us a long time to get the candy. Remember we have a sugar crisis, and we need time to look for it!"
"But don't worry. We'll do our best. If you come back here tomorrow at this exact hour, we may have some more sweets just for you," said Lifty. "Tomorrow, at ten o'clock in the morning, remember!"
"Really? Thank you! You guys are the best!" Nutty said before leaving, jumping, jittering towards his scooter.
The raccoons just snickered as the green squirrel disappeared.
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Splendid was in his reporter's outfit. Normally, he would go as a superhero, awe whoever he wanted to interview, and get whatever information he wanted from star struck fans. Except for Pop. The father wasn't as star struck as the other Tree Friends. The flying squirrel always felt the need to don his reporter outfit when he wanted to talk to Pop.
Splendid would not have taken the job if Lumpy didn't assign it. But Lumpy's the boss, and he did not want a pay cut that not doing what the moose wanted entailed. Or get fired for disobedience. After all, he had the perfect job.
He was officially a reporter at the Daily Acorn. But he was more than that. He held the entire operation together, since he was the only one who worked full time at that paper. All the others worked part time, sharing newspaper time with their other jobs. The weekly paper—since they don't have enough staff for a daily paper—was not a thriving business before. Splendid had also worked at other jobs—he remembered with horror that he worked as a waiter, a doctor, a truck driver and even a dogcatcher—just like the others. But he set his sights on only having one job—that of a reporter.
He first convinced Lumpy to give him more work at the paper. Lumpy was skeptical but granted him one month at the paper without pay. Splendid took the chance. He did all the jobs assigned to him efficiently and effectively, using his superpowers to do most of the work at home, while doing some at the office just so the others could see him work. He could type a long article in just a minute, and he could write interviews faster than a speeding bullet. He also designed the layout of the paper, and made it look good and professional. And he got most of the news too, since he could easily combine the job of being a reporter and superhero. In short, he could do his job very very fast, leaving a lot of free time. Most of the other staff would write simple op-eds, contribute pictures, write single articles or columns which would be given to Splendid, or do clerical work in the building.
He did the work so well that Lumpy was happy to permanently assign him to that job. Happily, that exempted him from the requirement to rotate to other jobs. His newspaper salary increased substantially. The only thing he had to be careful about was his boss, Lumpy. Lumpy as editor was hard and sometimes capricious.
Lumpy would review and look over the final product. More often than not, he would demand changes. If Splendid did not get the changes done, it would mean pay cuts. So he usually gets it done a day or two before the actual publication so he would have time to accommodate changes.
The reporter studied his editor's moods, likes and such and learned to tailor his actions to the moose's personality. For example, Splendid would not hesitate to slant the news to suit his boss. Thus, the flying squirrel, for the most part, got along well with Lumpy. Occasionally, however, he would demand some things unwelcome to Splendid. But he really likes his job, and so puts up with the sometimes unreasonable demands of his boss.
Sometimes, Lumpy demanded that he take along partners, like the time he was forced to bring along the Mole. It was something that he intensely disliked since it would mean he had to do his work without his powers.
He disliked like his current assignment. He really did not want to go back to Lammy after what had happened, but he had no choice.
He knocked on the door.
The door opened. "Yes?" the lamb greeted. She looked warily at the reporter.
"Lammy, I presume? Hello, I am Splendid, the reporter. I may look like the superhero, but I assure you, I am not him. I just happened to have the same name as he."
"Oh, well, what can I do for you?" she asked.
"Oh nothing really. Lumpy saw Splendid die yesterday, and he said you said that you killed him, as well as Sniffles. I am here for an interview, if that is alright with you."
"I didn't kill them! It was Mr. Pickles!" the lamb said, pointing to an inanimate pickle on the floor.
"Well, why don't we go and have a talk about it?" said the reporter.
Lammy invited him in and they went to the living room, sitting on opposite ends of a long couch.
"Let me begin. Who is Mr Pickles?"
"Oh, Mr Pickles is my best friend. In fact, I think he is my only best friend. With him around, I don't think I can have any close friends. Friends, maybe, but best friends? Mr Pickles doesn't like it."
"Right. So how is Mr Pickles as a friend?"
"Well, Mr Pickles is the most wonderful friend there is. He is there when I have problems, he listens to me when I need someone to talk to, he gives me useful advice, and he protects me when someone wants to hurt me. Unfortunately, he's not a very good judge of character. He thinks everyone is trying to get me, and well, you know what happens. It's just that nobody else can see him, and I get the blame."
"Okay, let's get on with what happened yesterday," said Splendid.
Lammy told Splendid the events of the day before. Splendid realized that Lammy really believed she was just trying to save people from Mr Pickles. In the process, she accidentally killed those she was trying to "save". He wondered if the Pickle really might be real, but looking at it as it lay on the table in front of the couch, he dismissed the idea as ludicrous.
"Have you ever thought of going to a therapist?" asked Splendid.
"No. I have no reason to go there. I am normal, and nothing is wrong with me. I am not crazy," the lamb declared.
"Oh right. Well, I am sorry that the superhero thought you were a thief," said Splendid. "I visited the superhero this morning just before coming here. I told him I was going here afterwards, so he gave me a letter. I think you should read this before anything else."
Lammy nodded as she got the envelope, tore it open, and read the letter.
Lammy,
Hello, citizen. I am Splendid the Superhero.
I want to apologize. I am investigating the disappearance of three gems, known as kryptonut, from the museum. Since you already figured this out, I am telling you that kryptonut is my only weakness that could kill me.
Sniffles, when he went to your house to finalize the sale of land to Lumpy, saw the glowing rock in your room. He also heard from Handy and Lumpy that you killed the Mole and took the kryptonut. So it was logical that he thought that you stole it after killing Mole. Logical, and wrong. You showed us the receipt, and you showed that you bought it from Disco Bear.
I am still convinced that the kryptonut you have was the one stolen in the museum. Somehow, it ended up in the hands of the Mole, then Disco Bear. But I know now that you were not the one who stole it. For that, I'm sorry for barging in and accusing you without looking at all the facts.
As you know, I died. It's a rare event, my third death ever. My death could only come from exposure from kryptonut. A long time ago, I crushed a kryptonut into fine powder, but I accidentally inhaled it. I died. Yesterday, you tossed the kryptonut into my open mouth. You know what happened next.
I would've happily kept this is a secret, and I would have asked you to do the same. Except that Lumpy and Cuddles saw my death, and you told them you or Mr Pickles did it. Lumpy owns the paper, and maintains the death list. That's the one thing that he wants to keep accurate, as well as the kill tallies. Which meant that each death, whenever possible, would have to be recorded, and those who's responsible also listed. The last time I've died, it was possible to hide the fact that it was kryptonut, since it was self-inflicted.
Lumpy already knows that I died, and that you and Mr Pickles were responsible. My only request is that please, don't tell anyone else, except Splendid the Reporter, with whom I have complete confidence, that I died because of kryptonut.
It would be very bad if everyone would know of my only weakness. It would be a disaster if my enemies found out about it. I beg of you, don't reveal it.
Thanks.
Splendid the Superhero.
Enclosed with the letter was an autographed picture of the superhero.
"I could do this, but what do you want me to do?" asked Lammy.
"When people come and ask how you did it, and believe me, they will, just don't tell them that it was that green glowing rock that killed him," said the reporter. "Just tell them that it was a rock. You're not technically lying, since kryptonut is a green glowing rock."
"Oh I could do that," said Lammy. "Tell the superhero that I accept his apology, and that I won't tell anyone else about his weakness."
"He will be glad to hear it. Believe me, he will be very glad!"
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The next day…..
Nutty stepped into the alley where he met the raccoon twins the day before. It was nine in the morning. He was supposed to be there at ten, but he was too eager and too starved of sugar to wait.
"Guys? Shifty? Lifty?" he called out as he parked his scooter nearby. The day before had given him hope, and it was all he could do to keep his desire in check.
"It's a little bit early, don't you think?" a voice said.
Nutty turned and saw in the shadows, a green raccoon. He was wearing a hat. "Shifty? I'm sorry. I can't wait!"
"We figured out as much," the second voice said, as he too emerged from the shadows. He had no hat.
"Yeah. So did you bring it? Did you bring it?" the sugar-addict asked.
"Took us awhile, but just for you, we did our best," said Shifty. "Lifty?"
The hatless twin opened his trenchcoat and took two pieces of sweets. One candy, and one lollipop.
"Of course, these ain't free," said Shifty.
"I don't care," said Nutty as he gave Lifty a thick wad of bills.
"Here you go," said Lifty, taking all of it.
Nutty quickly unwrapped the candy and put it into his mouth. He jittered around the alley as he savored the sweet taste. He laughed and shouted in joy, jumping up and down as he savored the moment.
After that, he unwrapped the lollipop and licked it. He licked it and licked it, savoring the taste for all its worth.
After finishing the lollipop, he turned to the twins. "Do you have more?"
"Sadly, no. It took as a while to find it, but our friend only gave us two," said Shifty.
"Your friend?" asked Nutty.
"Oh yeah. He has sugar, candy, you name it. Unfortunately, he isn't very sharing," said Lifty.
"But you've gotta get more candy!" Nutty pleaded.
"Well, he is very demanding. You see, he wanted something done before he'll give us more candy. Naturally, we would like to do it just for you, but we can't," said Shifty.
"But why," said Nutty.
"Because we can't. But you can. We think that he can be satisfied if it is you, Nutty, who went there, not us. Then if you do it, he could give us some candy that we can give to you."
"What do I need to do to get candy?" Nutty asked, desperate.
"Well, as you know, in the past few weeks or so, Giggles and Petunia have been in that house, stuck, guarded," said Shifty. "I want you to volunteer to be part of the guards."
"What's going on?" asked the green squirrel.
"If you would ask them what's the purpose of all of that, they will tell you that they are protecting them from us," said the hatted raccoon twin. "And it is true, we tried to rob them, and to steal from them, but haven't we robbed everyone else? But our friend, the one who supplies us with candy, said that there is another threat that would hurt Giggles and Petunia. It was fortuitous that they are guarded, since that meant that they would be also guarded from the new threat."
"You see, Nutty, our friend requested that we provide more protection to them," said Lifty. "We can't do that because they'll arrest us if we go there, but you could. Our friend would be very happy if Giggles and Petunia got another one to guard her from the new threat."
"Oh. Sure. But who is your friend that gives candy?" asked Nutty.
"Oh it's a secret," said Shifty. "You're not supposed to even know about him. But we're letting you know about him because you're our friend."
"Yes. Our new best friend," Lifty confirmed.
"Oh. But who is new threat?" asked Nutty.
"He didn't tell us either," said Lifty.
"Okay, I'll do it!" said Nutty.
"Good. Now here's what you need to remember. Don't ever tell anyone about this. Don't tell anyone about our friend, our involvement, the new threat. If you tell anyone, well, our new friend will get mad, and there will be no candy," Shifty instructed.
"So everything's a secret? Gotcha!" Nutty said. "I'll be the best guard there is and not tell anyone why!"
"Good. After your shift, go here in the alley, and we'll give you your reward," Lifty said.
"But you must tell us everything that happened there. Tell us who is there, what their routine is, what the girls were thinking, everything!" Shifty added
"But remember, our friend knows everything, so if you tell anyone else what we told you, or that we even met you, you'll get nothing," said Lifty.
"No problem! As long as you give me candy!" he said, before saying goodbye, and leaving on his scooter.
"Okay, pay up, Shifty," said Lifty. "He took it hook, line and sinker. I was right, and you lost."
Shifty grumbled a bit before handing Lifty some coins. "I can't believe that actually worked! That story is so ridiculous I don't think even Nutty would buy it!"
"It's Nutty! Take away his candy, and he'll believe anything you tell him as long as it's going to give him his fix!" Lifty said.
"Oh my God! Our Friend? A New Threat?" Shifty said, laughing, "He sure is gullible! Gullible!"
"Oh yeah. And if that idiot follows our instructions to the letter, well, Petunia and Giggles will be ours!" Lifty said.
"We better prepare a place to stash them after we kidnap them!" Shifty said, and the two raccoons snickered as they walked back to the van.
