yeah so I forgot to mention this before but brace yourselves for the feels. By the way we're probably going to cross post this series on AO3 and wattpad. Graphic depictions of violence, Hajime-centric, Mentions of rape, and other cans of worms.

xxx

"Do you want to be a mommy miss Hajime?"

Hajime's entire being came to an abrupt halt at the simple but heavy question asked out of innocent curiosity.

Did she want to be a mom?

Hajime was unsure. It belatedly occurred to her that she never even considered this possibility. She had never considered what she wanted aside from giving the decision to someone else. It through her for a loop when she actually tried to think about a proper answer to it.

"I-I'm not sure. I mean, how could I even be a proper parent if I can't even handle people touching me let alone a child of my own. Not to mention I'm still really young myself and I'm a ninja and an orphan so I wouldn't know the first thing about parenting and I'm rambling now aren't I...oh dear."

Shun looked at her quizzically for a bit before regaining that inquisitive gleam in his eye. If anything her personal issues seem quite effective at distracting him from what he went through.

"Miss Hajime? I know this scares you but can I hold your hand? It can be practice!"

She faltered a bit before pulling herself together again. It was just a kid. It was just a child. Nothing to worry about. It'll be fine. She decided it would be within her best interests to focus on breathing so she nodded and closed her eyes while waiting for the outside contact.

She felt clammy, her stomach rolling into complex knots as she trembled. She was hyper aware of the rustling of cloth from Shun and his clumsy gait as he moved close to her.

Breathe in.

She flinched minutely when one of his fingers made first contact with the palm of her hand but otherwise stood ramrod still.

Breathe out.

Rinse and repeat.

"A-are you okay miss Hajime?" he asked.

She could practically hear the quivering of his lips and the worry in his eyes. She was sure that if she looked at him now she'd see tears in the corners of his eyes.

"I didn't hurt you did I?"

At those words something somehow managed to unfurl within her and she felt the pent up energy leave her all at once. She fell to her knees and opened her eyes.

"It's ok-I'm ok." she mumbled haltingly.

She said it over and over again in a mantra, pulling Shun into a hug and burying her face in his hair. In turn whatever dam that been previously holding back Shun's flood of tears burst. They stayed in that position together for close to an hour, shaking and crying, until they felt drained of everything they had.

"How about we camp here for the night?" she said after a while.

Dazed, he nodded back to her slowly.

Sighing deeply she fumbled her way through the summoning jutsu. With a poof a large clouded leopard appeared before them which startled a jump out of Shun.

"Hajime! Are you okay? You smell distressed!" the feline fussed over her.

Smiling she nodded, "I'm alright Hisoka don't worry. I was wondering if you could help keep watch over us While we rested?"

The feline that had been a flurry of probing sniffs, cleaning tongues, and gentle paws halted his movements. Hisoka sat back on his haunches eying the two in front of him and nodded.

Shun watched him stalk away in silent awe and that got a small smile out of her. It was refreshing how little it took to please the boy. It was time for bed, she decided, humming a tune to herself softly while holding the younger child closer. Hajime would answer his question when she had more brain cells to work with.

It was while listening to the faint sounds of Hisoka's long tail brushing against the bushes in reassurance and Shun's steady evening breath that Hajime felt herself begin to drift.

Anri grabbed her hand and for once it didn't bother Hajime as much as it normally would.

"No! No! NO! Please god no!" she cried.

It made something snap inside of Hajime.

"If you touch one fucking head on her head you best believe I will feed you son'bitches to my cannibal friends back home." she grounded out through gritted teeth.

They leered at her.

"Fine we'll fuck you and make you watch while we fuck her too!" one of the men exclaimed.

They all cheered joyfully and began stripping. The ringleader of the group, the one who started this whole fiasco, sauntered over to Hajime with a wooden baton in his hand.

"Since you're so chatty how about we fill that mouth of yours." he smirked before sending the baton crashing down onto her stomach causing her to let out a gasp of pain.

They took that opportunity to fill it with something else, beating her stomach whenever she gained the peace of mind to try and bite back. Beside her Anri was getting only slightly better treatment, however the dull terror that settled into the other girl's eyes left an unsettling nausea in the pit of Hajime's stomach. In the end it was Anri who threw up several times while choking on the seed of several men who decided it'd be a great idea to discharge inside her mouth. At that time the men that loomed around Hajime decided it would be funny if they used the baton as a phallic object.

It splintered painfully within her and all the hate that built up within her blew out like a candle as she felt herself begin to disconnect from it all. She shut down.

Hajime didn't regain her senses until after it was all done and over with. Limply she forced herself to sit up and crawl over to Anri. She felt the crusty, sticky dried sperm flake off her skin and tried to ignore the leaking she felt between her legs by focusing on the other female. in her crawl she stumbled over a few objects. Namingly the baton she was achingly familiar with and the crumpled up seal that had previously blocked off her chakra. A dark urge shot through her as she felt her chakra unfurl from within her.

Wake. Anri. Now.

"Anri sweety you have to wake up now. Come one we have to leave. I have to bring you back to Mai, yeah? Please get up!" she whispered urgently.

Anri had stared blankly at her until she mentioned Mai. Then she broke into hysterics.

"Mai! Mai! Mai! Please!"

Hajime's eyes hardened and she summoned a handful kunai from a few of the seals along her body, handing a few to Anri. The relief she felt at being in control enough again to do that was indescribably euphoric, but she would feel more relieved the minute they were back in Iwa.

"Let's go home."

Gasping Hajime sat up