Pag: If you could just ignore Kat's last AN, I'm pretty sure all the blame is mine. She (and you) has (have) to deal with my tardiness and I have to deal with grammar and spelling. I think I have the good end of the deal. I seem to have severe time issues and a ridiculous amount of work to do. Who needs assassins when you have teachers and bosses to work people to death? I'll try to speed up the beta-ing.
Kat: True. Anyway, I might have a small *cough* HUGE *cough* addiction with the Percy Jackson franchise. But hey, the only year when I actually liked history class was in third grade, when we were studying Greek mythology, so it makes sense. Plus, I love Disney's Hercules. That Hades was hillarious!
Pag: My addiction is Reborn franchise, having an addiction to a franchise is nothing to be ashamed of, Kat. It's why we're on this site in the first place. (Do you think it's bad when I look at the word franchise and immediately think of frogs?)
Kat: You have a point. Oh! ZambleTheZombie changed her name. It's Acidic Rose now! Anyway, enjoy!
"Alright guys! Before we continue, I want to inform you that Zamble changed her name to Acidic Rose!" yelled Kat, thought the Vikings were focused on the movie, so they didn't really pay attention to her.
EXT. DRAGO'S SHIP - DECK - MOMENTS LATER
DRAGO BLUDVIST, a hulking figure draped in a dragon skin cloak, crouches over the prow of the fleet's grisly flagship, adorned in massive dragon bones and skulls. His scarred face is masked by thick, grizzled dreadlocks.
ERET (O.S.) DRAGO!
Drago turns to see Astrid, Eret, and the Gang being forcibly escorted onto the deck. Eret SHAKES HIMSELF FREE.
ERET (CONT'D) Get off me!
In the background, a sledge, loaded with Hookfang, Meatlug, Belch and Barf - all unconscious - is dragged onto the deck by armored dragons.
ERET (CONT'D) Always great to see you, my friend! Keeping warm up here?
"That #%$*&!" Astrid growled, letting out a long string of curses and some really painful threats.
"That's a colorful vocabulary." mused Valka.
"I've heard worse from her." stated Hiccup. "You should hear her when we have an early dragon training session."
"I had nightmares from that." shuddered Toothless, curling into a ball.
The soldiers disarm him, pushing him forward as Drago approaches.
ERET (CONT'D) Well, as you can see, I'm right on time with a new batch of dragons, just like I promised.
Hookfang awakens, groggily shaking off the effect of the blow- dart. He rears as soldiers struggle to reign him in.
SOLDIER #1 Watch out! He's waking up! Keep him steady!
SOLDIER #2 Give me some backup here!
DRAGO Drop the ropes.
They do so. Hookfang bucks and roars, chasing off the soldiers, then focusing on Drago as he closes in. The armored dragons avert their eyes and cower as Drago passes. Hookfang HISSES a warning, but Drago approaches, undaunted. Hookfang BLASTS. In a blur, Drago wraps himself in his dragon skin cloak.
"Is it just me, or is that cloak a bit familiar?" asked Kat.
The sticky, napalm-like fire splatters against the fireproof scales, enveloping Drago in dripping flames as he persists forward without missing a step. As the blast ends, Drago drops the cloak, closing in and holding a cold stare. Hookfang lets out a ferocious ROAR. Drago YELLS back with a fierce, savage scream, interrupting Hookfang and causing him to recoil. Drago whirls his bull- hook overhead and STABS it into the deck planks. Hookfang stirs, his aggression fading in the face of Drago's unflinching show of dominance. After a moment, Hookfang averts his eyes and lowers his head in submission. Drago places his boot upon Hookfang's snout, pressing it into the deck planks.
SNOTLOUT Hookfang!
RUFFNUT Hey!
ASTRID What are you doing?
DRAGO (quiet, to the dragon) You belong to me now.
"I'm burning him alive first chance I get." stated Hookfang.
"Can I film it?!" exclaimed Rose.
"Can I call Leo[1] to help?!" added Kat.
ERET And as an added bonus, I also caught you their riders. No extra charge.
Drago notices the saddle on Hookfang's back. His eyes wander to the saddle on Meatlug. Alarm flashes in Drago's eyes.
ASTRID What?! Are you kidding me?!
RUFFNUT But you were so perfect!
ERET Turns out, there's a whole bunch of them out there. They -
In a flash, Drago stops toward Eret and seizes him by the throat.
DRAGO How many?
As Eret chokes, stammering, Astrid whispers to the gang.
ASTRID Drago doesn't have them after all.
DRAGO HOW MANY?!
ASTRID Hundreds! A whole island full!
His grip tightens around Eret's neck as he turns to Astrid.
ERET I wouldn't worry about it. My men are hunting them down as we speak.
They won't know where you're hiding. I promise you that.
Astrid nods a covert signal to the Gang - she has a plan.
ASTRID Oh, yes they will!
Drago drops Eret as Astrid advances, staring Drago down. Eret tries to signal her to stop, but it's no use.
ASTRID (CONT'D) They know we're missing and they have tracking dragons. If you so much as touch us, Hiccup is gonna-
DRAGO - Hiccup?
ERET He's not a problem. Really. Trust me.
"I take offence. I'm lots of trouble!"
"Tell me about it." sighed Toothless.
ASTRID He's only the son of Stoick the Vast...
Drago's eyes narrow upon hearing Stoick's name.
ASTRID (CONT'D) ... his heir to the throne of Berk... and the greatest dragon master this world has ever seen!
"Is it just me, or is it weird to hear someone praising Hiccup?" mused Kat.
DRAGO Dragon master? I ALONE control the dragons!
"Fat chance!" exclaimed Rose.
"Fat like your face!" chimed in Kat.
"His face is kinda deformed." Pag stated lazily. "And Byakuran controls dragons better."
TUFFNUT Nope.
FISHLEGS Sorry!
ASTRID And unless you let us go, right now, he will blast through here on his Night Fury and blow your entire fleet of ships to splinters!
Eret slips away, trying to distance himself from the tension.
RUFFNUT Then they'll be crying like babies!
SNOTLOUT Funny and beautiful.
FISHLEGS Good one, babe!
Ruffnut groans, exasperated by their smarmy advances.
TUFFNUT Yeah. Like babies. They always cry. Real tiny ones...
Drago grabs Eret by the face and bears down on him.
DRAGO First there was one rider. And now all of Berk. (TO ERET) And YOU led them to me.
He THROWS Eret across the deck.
ERET Drago!
DRAGO CEASE ALL PREPARATIONS! WE MUST ATTACK THE DRAGONS RIDER'S NEST AT ONCE! (SAVORING IT) WE WILL TAKE DOWN THEIR ALPHA... AND THEN WE WILL TAKE BERK!
"Well, that worked out well." muttered Hiccup.
Soldiers CHEER in the thousands.
ERET You're overreacting!
DRAGO And get rid of him.
ERET Drago, please...
The soldiers HURL throwing knives at Eret... But Stormfly lands in a blur of wings, shielding Eret from the flurry of blades. She whips her tail, throwing spikes in all directions.
ASTRID STORMFLY!
Stormfly ROARS protectively, hiding Eret within her wings, until a well-blown dart sinks into her neck, bringing her down...
ASTRID (CONT'D) NO!
Revealing Eret, gawking in shock.
INT. DRAGON MOUNTAIN - OASIS - MORNING
Hiccup reattaches his flight suit while standing on a ledge overlooking the utopian nest, teeming with dragons. Several babies race in to hassle Toothless as he naps.
HICCUP (DETERMINED) Well, bud, we can't wait around for Drago to attack this place. We've gotta find him first. Let's go.
Suddenly, a thick hand clamps down over Hiccup's face - muffling his scream! Toothless whirls around to find STOICK, towering over Hiccup. He calms Toothless with a touch and releases Hiccup.
"Why does that happen every time I try to leave a place?" asked Hiccup.
STOICK Easy now.
HICCUP Are you kidding me? How'd you get in here?
STOICK The same way we're getting you out.
HICCUP We?
Gobber appears in the arch of a tunnel.
GOBBER All clear!
STOICK Toothless. Come.
They hurry back into the winding corridor.
HICCUP Dad! There's something you need to know!
STOICK Yeah, yeah, tell me on the way.
"You still don't listen to him." sighed Rose, shaking her head disappointed. Next to her, Kat did the same.
"It's sad." she added.
"To be fair, Hiccup tends not to listen either." Pag said. "It's probably Stoick's fault. You can really see where he gets it from."
"Hey!" the father/son duo shouted.
HICCUP This isn't an on-the-way kind of update, actually...
STOICK I've heard ENOUGH, Hiccup.
HICCUP ... more of the earth-shattering development variety.
"...earth-shattering..." snickered Kat, with a devilish grin that freaked the shit out of most people. Literally, a couple of Terrible Terrors couldn't hold it. However, the grin quickly disappeared, as the young girl looked ready to burst to tears and wailed "Leo!" before hugging a pillow to her chest.
"There, there." Rose patted her on the back, at the other girl sniffed. "She's still not over Blood of Olympus."
"Does that happen a lot?" Hiccup asked reluctantly. He wasn't so sure he wanted to know the answer.
"Tons. You should have seen her after Mark of Athena."[2]
"...I'm starting to think I shouldn't read it." Pag said wearily. "You see, this is why I try not to finish all my favorite series. Emphasis on try because it never works" The figure muttered. Chien shook his head and drank his tea. "The ending of a good series usually amplifies the feels. The feels become too strong and that happens... Maybe we should hypnotize her to forget the series or something. Get restarted on PJO and HoO... Never mind. Bad idea. Forget I said anything."
STOICK Yeah, just add it to the pile.
HICCUP Dad, unlike most surprises I spring on you, this is one you'll like. I promise! You just have to handle it delicately, so...
They round a tight bend in the corridor to find Gobber staring blankly at something unseen in the next chamber. He shuffles past Stoick and Hiccup, dazed.
GOBBER Uh, you might want to take this one. Oh, boy.
Stoick draws his SWORD, then braves into the chamber ahead.
HICCUP Dad, can you put the sword away... please?
Stoick GASPS as if seeing a ghost... and drops his sword with a clatter.
"Dramaaa." sings Kat, who had recovered from her previous breakdown.
Valka stands some twenty paces ahead of him, blocking the path. She lets out an audible SHUDDER upon seeing him. He removes his helmet slowly as Hiccup, Gobber, and Toothless appear at Stoick's side.
VALKA (RATTLED) I know what you're going to say, Stoick. How could I have done this? Stayed away all of these years. And why didn't I come back to you? To our son.
Stoick steps towards her, wide-eyed and speechless. Dragons emerge from the recesses behind Valka, hissing protectively.
VALKA (CONT'D) Well, what sign did I have that you could change, Stoick? That anyone on Berk could?
VALKA (CONT'D) I pleaded so many times to stop the fighting, to find another answer, but did any of you listen?
GOBBER This is why I never married. (BEAT) This and one other reason.
Contrary to popular belief, Gobber's secret wasn't so secret anymore. After they were returned to Berk, the blacksmith came out to the people of the village. After all, they had accepted the relationship between a dragon and a human.
"At least he wasn't forced to admit it by a stupid love god[3]. Gods, Cupid is an ass." muttered Kat.
"You really need to let it go." Rose sighed exhausted.
"Let it go! Let it go! Can't change the past anymore! Let her go! Let her go! Why did they only close that door!"[4] sang Kat, way off key too.
"She doesn't need to." Pag said grumpily. "Cupid was evil!"
"I thought you haven't read that part yet." Rose said.
"How could I not know?! There were freaking spoilers all over the net." Pag growled.
Kat and Pag got together and started planning revenge on Cupid. He was going to pay for what he did.
With a groan, Zamble shoved her face on a pillow. This was a lost battle.
Stoick continues to close the gap, mesmerized. With every step, Valka becomes increasingly flustered. She backs into an ice wall, with nowhere to go, and Stoick just a few paces away.
VALKA (TEARFUL) I know that I left you to raise Hiccup alone... but I thought he'd be better off without me. And I was wrong, I see that now, but...
Stoick gently reaches a hand toward her face.
VALKA (CONT'D) Oh stop being so stoic, Stoick. Go on... SHOUT, SCREAM, SAY SOMETHING!
STOICK You're as beautiful as the day I lost you.
His words snuff her retort, rendering her speechless. She softens despite herself, yielding her cheek to his palm. He caresses her skin as a reluctant tear runs through his fingers. He PULLS her into a KISS. She resists briefly, then gives in. The surrounding dragons softly RETREAT in kind. Hiccup gapes, warmed by the sight of his parents reunited.
"I wouldn't say as beautiful." mused Stoick, earning a frown from his wife. Before she was able to say anything, he pulled her in for a kiss. The whole theatre burst into coos, whistles and clapping, but the married couple couldn't care less.
"You're even more beautiful."
[1] Leo Valdez, from Heroes of Olympus. I know I'm sick... But I don't care :3
[2] ... I might have spoiled the end now. But, ok. And Mark of Athena... Why, Rick Riordan, why?!
[3] Three words. House of Hades.
[4] A parody I found at YouTube. Just search Let it Go Heroes of Olympus Parody by 94Ariel.