Disclaimer: I do not own 'The Loud House' or any other property in this work that I did not make myself.
Ten reasons
Chapter ten: Mad Science part one- The burden of genius
If one was familiar with Lisa Loud, then they would not expect the four-year-old genius to spend any significant time outside in her family's backyard; they would sooner expect her to be holed up in the bedroom that she shared with her baby sister Lily who, along with the Loud family matriarch Rita, was still stuck out in California due to the sheer incompetence that the airlines were showing right now.
But this is getting off subject. Lisa was in her family's backyard because she was, as usual, up to one of her many, many experiments. The reason why the brainy Loud sibling was in the backyard was because the experiment she was conducting required as much space as possible, space that simply wasn't available in her and Lily's room. Additionally, her two test subjects would most likely make a mess of things if they were in her and Lily's room.
Lisa's first test subject was Charles, a Pitbull Terrier and the Loud family's pet dog. He was sitting on the ground next to Lisa's other test subject, another dog who was far greater in size compared to the surprisingly small Charles. This other dog was a young adult male Tibetan Mastiff that had recently reached his full size. The two dogs sat next to each other obediently as Lisa approached them while carrying a small treat box.
"I would first like to thank the both of you for your time," Lisa said to the two dogs, "I am glad to see that dogs aren't only best friends to men, but to girls as well." Holding up the box she was holding, Lisa continued, "Now then, let's get on with the experiment, shall we? Now, as we all know, dog biscuits are made specifically for dogs. However, some humans, such as my older sister Lana, have been known to consume dog biscuits anyway. This got me thinking; what if there was a snack that was made while taking humans and dogs into equal consideration?"
Gesturing to the box that she held with her other hand, Lisa remarked, "That's where these experimental biscuits come from. Now, I already gave one to my aforementioned sister Lana, who approved of the formula that went into making these, so I have confirmation that some humans will find these experimental biscuits to be edible. Now all that remains is to see if members of your kind are willing to eat them as well."
The brainy Loud sibling took two of the experimental biscuits out of the box and tossed one each to Charles and the Tibetan Mastiff. The two dogs leapt up to grab the biscuits that were tossed to them respectively, and they both happily ate away. Smiling at the display, Lisa said, "I'm glad to see that I have two more votes on confidence in the formula for my experimental-" Lisa found herself cut off when Leni, her older sister and intellectual opposite, entered the backyard. With Leni at the time was Aggro Ace, a friend of Lisa and Leni's sister Lori and the Kendo tutor of their brother Lincoln.
Spotting the Tibetan Mastiff, Aggro said to Lisa in a mildly confused tone, "Lisa, what are you doing with Allison's dog?"
"Rest assured that Allison gave me full permission to borrow Fenrir for my latest experiment," Lisa replied.
"Ooh, what are you doing now, Lisa?" Leni asked in a curious tone.
Holding up the box of biscuits she was holding, Lisa explained, "I'm trying to develop a formula for a dog biscuit that can be enjoyed equally by both dogs and humans. I got the idea for it due to Lana sneaking biscuits from the box of dog biscuits we get for Charles from time to time." Upon hearing that someone has been sneaking biscuits from a box of biscuits that was supposed to be for himself, Charles made a confused-sounding noise.
"A dog biscuit that both dogs and humans can enjoy equally," the male Ace twin remarked in a tone of mild disbelief while crossing his arms.
Walking up to Leni and Aggro, Lisa held the box of experimental dog biscuits up to them. "Care to try one?" Lisa offered, "I need opinions from other humans than just Lana." Leni and Aggro both exchanged confused, mildly unsure looks before they both reached forward to take a biscuit from the box Lisa held. The two teenagers both bit into their respective biscuits, and after a few seconds, their eyes widened in pleasant surprise.
"Wow, Lisa," Leni remarked, "These biscuits are, like, totes good! In fact, the one I got tastes like vanilla!"
"Huh, the one I got tastes like hazelnut," Aggro said to the fashionable Loud sibling.
"Well I'm glad to see that the experimental flavor formulas that go into the biscuits seem to work," Lisa stated, "I've developed multiple flavor formulas that, to dogs, resemble flavors that they're used to in the various treats that are given to them. Dogs should taste flavors such as chicken, liver and beef from these biscuits. However, to humans, the flavors should resemble popular flavors of coffee creamers, such as the French Vanilla that Leni got and the hazelnut that Aggro got. Lana said that she got caramel."
"…Impressive," Aggro remarked, surprised that Lisa is able to pull off inventing formulas such as the ones she said went into the biscuits she made.
"I'm going to need to try these biscuits out on a few more dogs and humans before I can say for certain whether or not this experiment is a success," Lisa said, "But from all of the positive feedback I've gotten so far, I'd say that this is looking to be yet another success-" The brainy Loud sibling was cut off and gave a yelp of surprise when Fenrir nudged her from behind with his nose. Lisa turned to face the large dog, who proceeded to paw gently at the box of biscuits that she was holding.
"Aww," Leni gushed, "I think he wants another one of your fancy biscuits, Lisa!"
"Well I can see that," Lisa stated in her usual dry monotone as she obliged Fenrir's apparent request for another biscuit.
Later, Lisa was up in her and Lily's room, going over the flavor formulas that she invented for her experimental biscuits. Satisfied with her double and triple checks, the brainy Loud sibling put all of her supplies related to her latest experiment away, safely and properly, before she walked over to a desk, pulled a drawer open and removed a mechanical pencil and a small spiral bound mini notebook that could fit into most back pockets on pairs of pants. With all of that in hand, Lisa walked out of her room. Making a right turn, Lisa walked over to what was once a linin closet but had been converted into a bedroom for Lisa's brother Lincoln.
Seeing that the door was closed, Lisa knocked on it a few times, not wanting to barge in on her older brother unannounced. "Lincoln, are you in there?" Lisa called out, "I would like to borrow your assistance for a moment, please!" About two seconds later, and the door was opened by Lincoln. The sole Loud boy was wearing a slightly baggy orange t-shirt, a pair of orange sweatpants and a pair of socks.
"What's up, Lisa?" Lincoln asked kindly.
"I don't suppose you're busy at the moment, are you?" Lisa began.
"Well I was getting ready to head to the store with dad to help him pick up something," Lincoln replied, "Why?"
"I'll only be needed about a minute of your time for this, Lincoln," Lisa said.
"Well alright then," Lincoln agreed, "What do you need me to do?"
"Drop your pants," Lisa replied, completely straight-faced. The four-year-old genius's dry monotone made it all too clear that she was being serious.
"I…I beg your pardon?" Lincoln said in a mildly shocked and confused tone.
"Your sweatpants, Lincoln," Lisa reiterated, "Drop them. Drop them as if you're getting ready to read one of your comic books."
"Oh, umm, about that, Lisa," Lincoln began in a mildly unsure and uncomfortable tone, "I've gotten used to keeping my pants on while reading comics. In fact, I've taken to wearing socks whenever I read comics as-"
"I need you to trust me on this, Lincoln," Lisa said, cutting her older brother off midsentence.
Sighing gently in a resigned tone, Lincoln did as his little sister asked and dropped his pants, revealing that most of his left leg was horrifically bruised and covered in scars. Lisa took her mini spiral bound notebook and proceeded to write down various observations that she was making. When she was done, the brainy Loud sibling flipped her mini spiral bound notebook closed, tucking the notebook and her mechanical pencil into the back pockets on her pants.
"That will do, Lincoln," Lisa stated, "Thank you for your time."
"Umm, sure," Lincoln replied in a mildly confused tone as he pulled his sweatpants back up, "No pro-"
"I would also like to…apologize," Lisa said at length, interrupting her older brother again. Hearing this caught the sole Loud boy off guard a bit.
"Apologize?" Lincoln repeated, "What for?"
"I understand that the nature of my request might have made you feel a bit uncomfortable," Lisa explained, "And although I have something in mind with the notes that I just took, that still doesn't excuse the fact that I not only made you drop your pants in the second-floor hallway, but that I might have made you recollect memories that you'd rather leave in the past. That being said, I apologize for any discomfort that I might have made you experience just now."
A small but sincere smile on his face, Lincoln gently patted Lisa's right shoulder. "It's okay, Lisa," the sole Loud boy replied, "Science isn't a comfortable thing all the time, after all."
"Ain't that the truth," Lisa replied, finding some small measure of humor in what Lincoln said about science just now.
"But it's still pretty amazing, if you think about it," Lincoln went on.
"You have no idea how long I've been trying to get everyone-" Lisa began, but now she found herself interrupted by Lincoln, instead of the other way around.
"Especially all of the stuff that you've done, Lisa," Lincoln began, "Seriously. You've made a pair of shoes that lets people walk on the ceiling, cookies that make people glow in the dark when eaten, and a machine that you used to fix your eyesight, which is weird since you still like to wear your glasses anyway." Relaxing a bit, Lincoln said, "You've done some pretty amazing things, Lisa."
The brainy Loud sibling was surprised to find herself flustered by the praise her older brother was giving her. "Well, umm…" Lisa said while at something of a loss for words, "…Gee, thanks for the vote of confidence, Lincoln."
"No problem," the sole Loud boy replied, "Now if you'll excuse me, I need to go put on a pair of pants and my shoes." Gesturing to the sweatpants he was wearing, Lincoln said, "I don't think that I can get away with wearing sweatpants to the store."
"It would be a rather bold fashion statement on your part, yes," Lisa agreed in her usual dry monotone as she regained some of her usual cool, "And I believe I speak for the both of us when I say that we should both leave the fashion world to Leni."
"Speaking of Leni," Lincoln said, "She told me that you made some sort of dog biscuit that both humans and dogs can enjoy equally. Is that true?"
"She ended up getting a biscuit that tastes like French Vanilla to humans," Lisa explained. With a look of mild concentration on her face, Lisa added, "If I recall correctly, that particular biscuit would taste like beef to dogs."
"I don't suppose I can try one of them when I get back with dad, can I?" Lincoln replied.
With a mildly amused smile, Lisa said, "The more humans I have try the biscuits, the better. In fact, I believe that I still have some of the-"
"Some of the what now?" Lana's voice said, cutting Lisa off and making both her and Lincoln turn to see Lana standing there. She was holding the box of experimental dog biscuits that Lisa had earlier while chewing on one of the biscuits herself. Finishing the biscuit that she was eating, Lana reached into the box for another, but the tomboyish Loud twin came up empty. "Aww man," Lana remarked, "This box is empty!" Looking to Lisa, Lana asked, "I don't suppose you got another box of these bad boys lying around, do you? They're pretty good."
"…I'll have to make another batch, it seems," Lisa remarked dryly.
Later that day, after Lisa had set aside some materials that she would be needing for a secret project of hers, she went right to work on getting two more batches of the experimental dog biscuits ready. The reason why she decided to prepare more than just one batch is because of how quickly Lana worked through what should have been a mostly full box. The appetites of some of her sisters have never ceased to pique the brainy Loud sibling's interest.
Right as the biscuits were finished baking, Lisa pulled them out of the super oven she invented, carefully making sure none of them burned while being baked. If it hadn't been for the fact that Lynn Sr., the father of the Loud siblings, pretty much had the kitchen downstairs as his domain, then Lisa wouldn't have had to invent her super oven, even though the super oven bakes twice as quickly and twice as efficiently as the oven in the kitchen on the ground floor.
As she set the latest tray of biscuits to come out of the oven on top of the oven to cool, Lisa heard Vanzilla pull into the driveway since she had her bedroom window open. With the tray set on the oven top, Lisa pulled off her baking mitts, tossed them onto her bed, and removed the apron she was wearing and tossing that onto the bed as well before leaving her room. The brainy Loud sibling placed a sign on her bedroom door that said 'EXPERIMENT IN PROGRESS: DO NOT ENTER' after closing it; she did not want Lana or any of her other sisters with large appetites to come in and eat all the biscuits before they even had a chance to cool. With the sign in place, Lisa went down stairs to greet her father and her older brother.
When Lisa had gotten downstairs, she and her sisters saw that the men of the Loud family had done quite a bit of grocery shopping; then again, given the size of the family, this was pretty much par for the course. "I hope you girls are ready for another new experience," Lynn Sr. said to his daughters, "Because we're going to have fajitas for dinner tonight!"
"You know, we should literally look into somehow getting that cookbook back to Bobby's mom," Lori remarked.
"We'll cross that bridge when we get to it," Lynn Sr. replied to his oldest child.
"Hey, are those cakes?" Lola asked as she pointed to some of the grocery bags.
"Oh yeah, those were actually Lincoln's idea," the Loud patriarch said.
Nodding in confirmation, Lincoln explained, "Well when I saw that there was a bit of extra money left over, I figured that getting some dessert would be nice. Dad thought that it was a good idea, so we stopped off at the store's bakery section to pick up a few chocolate cakes."
"Chocolate?!" the sisters all said excitedly and in unison with each other.
"Wait a minute," Lana remarked in a mildly confused tone, "Not that I'm complaining about it, because let me make it clear that I am not complaining, but why did you get multiple cakes? Wouldn't one cake cover everything?"
"There are currently eleven people at our place of residence, Lana," Lisa pointed out, "One cake is simply not enough to cover that many people, unless it was either cut into very small pieces and or was a very large cake." Gesturing to the grocery bags that had the cake boxes in them, Lisa went on, "Since our father and brother got multiple cakes, I'm going to assume that there weren't any large cakes where a single one would be able to cover the entirety of the family currently in residence."
"Those cakes were actually on sale," Lynn Sr. pointed out, "But anywho, help me get these grocery bags into the kitchen, alright girls?" The Loud sisters all replied in the affirmative before they went about helping with taking bags into the kitchen so that the groceries could be put away. While the girls were doing this, Lynn Sr. stopped short, then sniffed about the air. "Was one of you girls using the oven while I was gone?" the Loud patriarch asked.
"Not the oven in the kitchen, if that makes you feel any better," Lisa stated dryly.
"What are you talking about, Lisa?" Leni asked, "We only have, like, one oven in the house."
"Not true," Lisa replied as she began to explain, "You see, I invented a super oven that's twice as quick and twice as efficient at baking as the oven in the kitchen. How else do you think I've been able to prepare the experimental dog biscuits that I've created?"
"You have an oven in your room, Lisa?" Lynn Sr. asked his genius daughter.
"Relax, I can disassemble it once I'm done with making the experimental dog biscuits," Lisa replied.
"They're really good, dad," Lana remarked, "Lisa made them so that both humans and dogs can enjoy them equally."
"…" Looking to Lisa, Lynn Sr. said, "…Did you say it's twice as efficient and twice as quick?"
"It also uses half as much electricity and it is half as likely to result in burning the food you're trying to prepare on or in it," Lisa explained.
"I…don't suppose you can do the same to the oven in the kitchen, can you?" Lynn Sr. asked, looking mildly hopeful.
With a knowing smile, Lisa replied, "It'll take some time, so I would suggest waiting until tomorrow to have me work on upgrading the oven in the kitchen." With a look of consideration on her face, Lisa added, "Although if what you've been saying about the oven in the kitchen is true, then it may be better for me to replace it with the super oven in my room altogether."
"Well in that case, dinner should be ready in about an hour," Lynn Sr. said to his kids.
"Oh, we got time," Luna said to her dad, "Well, I know that I got time. I was figuring that I should get some more music practice in."
"I literally have to text Bobby," Lori remarked in a worried tone, "He told me that one of his and Ronnie Anne's cousins has gone missing, and that his family has been going all over their town for a while trying to find him."
"One of their cousins has gone missing?" Lincoln remarked in a shocked tone, "Who is it?"
With a gentle shake of her head, Lori replied, "I don't remember which one my Boo-Boo Bear told me it was. All I know is that it's one of the boys."
"Well that is just terrible," Lincoln said in a concerned tone, "I hope they find their missing cousin soon. I wish I could do something to help."
"I literally agree with you, but it's kind of out of our way," Lori remarked, "Although I'm certain that both Bobby and Ronnie Anne would appreciate the moral support." The sole Loud boy gave a nod of agreement before he and the rest of the Loud family finished going about putting the groceries away.
The following day, Lisa was in the kitchen, having just finished up replacing the oven in the kitchen with the super oven she invented for the purpose of baking her experimental dog biscuits. Standing next to the brainy Loud sibling was Lynn Sr. "There you go, father," Lisa said as she got up off of the floor, "The super oven is ready to go."
"This ought to make getting dinner ready even better!" the loud patriarch remarked with more than a hint of excitement in his tone, "Thanks again, Lisa!"
"If possible, I don't suppose we can try that enchilada recipe from Mrs. Santiago's cookbook again, can we?" Lisa asked, "The last time we had it, it was rather-" Lisa was cut off when there was a knock at the front door. Lynn Sr. went to answer the door, with Lisa following along out of curiosity that was part in due to Lisa being a genius and wanting to know as much as possible and the rest due to Lisa being a four-year-old child; genius or no, a four-year-old child will always be curious.
To the surprise and mild concern of Lynn Sr. and Lisa, a police officer was standing at the front door. "Excuse me, sir," the police officer said as he spoke to the Loud family patriarch, "But are you Lynn Loud Sr., the owner of a green and white multi-passenger van made between the 1964 and 1970?"
"Yes, officer," Lynn Sr. replied, "My oldest daughter Lori was using it to pick something up for me from the hardware store. She also brought her younger brother Lincoln along because she figured that she'd take him to the comic book store." Looking concerned, Lynn Sr. asked, "Is there something wrong?"
"Huh," the police officer remarked mostly to himself, "So that explains the teenager and the kid." To Lynn Sr., the police officer continued, "I'm sorry to inform you about this, but your van has just been involved in a traffic accident."
"Traffic accident?!" Lynn Sr. exclaimed in alarm, "What happened?!"
"According to eye witnesses, a red car rammed your van on its right side, causing it to plow into a traffic light and knock it over," the police officer explained, "Not only did the red car drive off after hitting your van, but witnesses were unfortunately unable to get a good look at the license plates on the red car before it took off."
"What about my kids?!" Lynn Sr. asked as his worry grew, "Are they okay?"
"Even though your son was sitting on the side of the van that was hit, he wasn't injured," the police officer said, "At least not enough to warrant a trip to the hospital; paramedics on scene were able to give him the necessary treatment. As for your daughter, she was rattled by the experience but got over it quickly enough." Jerking a thumb over his shoulder, the police officer continued, "I can give you a lift to the Royal Woods Police Department where your son and daughter are waiting to be picked up. Your van was taken to the police impound lot since it was involved in a crime, but once evidence is gathered, we can have your van repaired and returned to you."
"Thank you, officer," Lynn Sr. replied, "Let me just inform my other kids that I'll be heading out for a while and why."
"I'll be waiting out by my cruiser," the police officer remarked as he nodded in agreement, "If it's any consolation, I'm terribly sorry about all of this." As the police officer turned to walk out to his cruiser, Lynn Sr. closed the door and turned around.
"Father," Lisa said as she looked up at the Loud patriarch, more than a hint of worry seeping through into her usual dry monotone, "Will my siblings involved in this matter be okay?"
"From what the police officer just told me, Lori and Lincoln will be just fine," Lynn Sr. replied to his four-year-old daughter. Lynn Sr. finished right explaining what he was going to have to do before he went about summoning the rest of his daughters to the living room to tell them what's going on and what he has to go take care of. Leaving his two oldest daughters in charge while he was gone, Lynn Sr. took his leave with the police officer, leaving the other Loud sisters mildly freaking out, worried about what had happened.
Lisa was especially worried.
END, TEN REASONS CHAPTER 10
Author's notes:
Now that it's Lisa's turn to be in the spotlight, she's going to have a go at making an antagonist pay for what said antagonist had done. However, unlike her sisters before her (or her sisters that will come after her), Lisa has a genius-level intellect. She is going to be putting that genius-level intellect to good use, mark my words.
As a side note, the little bit about one of Bobby and Ronnie Anne's cousins going missing is something of a subplot for the story as a whole that I put in because drama. I haven't decided yet where I'm going to go with this plot, though. I also haven't decided which cousin should be the one to have gone missing yet, nor have I settled on the missing cousin's ultimate fate. All that I determined is that Carlota is not the cousin that went missing.