AN: This just gets harder to write... I love how some of how really don't agree with me about what Ianto did... thank you for such wonderul, insightful and thought provoking reviews.... You guys have been fantastic! One day I will write a happy story!!!!!

I believe Ianto is capable of anything when given the right pressures or motivations... here's me justifying what I have done.

A STOMACH FULL OF RATS PART 10

Jack was truly lost for words and Ianto shrunk back into the seat.

"I was livid Jack, Canary Wharf had happened only a week before and Lisa was..... she was.... and so many people had died and everyone was lying about what happened.I'd lost everything. I was just blinded with rage when I saw him."

Jack shifted slightly and restarted the engine. "We'll talk about this after Owen's checked you over." A wall came down between them. Ianto wiped at his face and said nothing feeling rotten to the core. The early morning dose of painkillers starting to wear off.

"You are one fucked up son of a bitch, you know that don't you?"

"Go to hell." It was half hearted at best.

Owen said very little throughout the exam, except asking relevant questions. Ianto kept his responses as monosyllabic as possible, though he winced when Owen examined his abdomen and the two surgical incisions, both sets of staples had been removed the day Ianto had discharged himself from the hospital. The final thing Owen looked at was the bit injury to Ianto's leg. He pulled away the dressing expecting to find a pussed up mess, but the wound was clean and well tended. Ianto watched as Owen re-dressed it.

"Will that scar?"

Owen was startled by the question as he peeled off his latex gloves and picked up his chart to write in it.

"Yeah, most likely. Who has been looking after it?"

"I have, I just keep taking the tablets and changing the dressing."

"How are you feeling in general?"

Ianto shrugged. "I'm sore, I can't do much and my stomach feels like it's full of rats, but I was told it would for a while."

"You're a twat, why didn't you call me or something? You should have not have removed yourself from hospital."

Ianto snorted. "What do you care?"

Owen dropped the chart and rounded on him. "Actually, personally I don't give a shit, you're a whining, miserable git, who betrayed our trust, but I am your doctor and much as I dislike the idea it is my job to keep you well. So stop pissing about. You keep taking the tablets the doctors discharged you with and stick to the diet and you bloody well see me again at the end of the week, am I clear?"

Ianto flinched back, he'd never seen Owen quite so mad. "Yes, crystal."

"Good now piss off and make me some coffee."

Ianto sidled off the exam couch. "I.... er. Right." He left the autopsy bay a little stunned, cautiously mounting the stairs only to face Tosh who was waiting at the top, having heard Owen yelling. She offered a concerned smile and Ianto forced one back.

"Are you ok Ianto?"

"I'm fine. Owen wants coffee, what's new?"

Tosh gently rubbed his arm with her fingertips. "I'll help if you like."

Ianto sighed, grateful because he wouldn't mange working the big coffee machine with his ribs aching as they were; he thought he probably should have just stayed in bed, not that Jack would have let him get away with that. Tosh was fussing in her shy way, clearly annoyed at Owen about something other than his treatment of Ianto. Ianto realised it had something to do with Gwen when the woman stepped in through the cog door and Tosh barely acknowledged her. Ianto wondered what he had missed, but realised it wasn't hard to guess. Gwen greeted him with a welcoming hug, that made Ianto freeze as he tried to tolerate the gesture.

"Oh Ianto, welcome back, how are you feeling?"

To his surprise she seemed genuinely interested. He smiled hesitantly. "I'm ok thanks. Owen's a bit cross with me for letting myself out of hospital."

Gwen cooed with understanding. "He's quite right, you shouldn't be at work."

"Oh, no I'm not.... Jack just brought me in for a check up. I'm going back home just as soon as I've........"

"Ianto my office!" It was Jack bellowing from the gantry.

"...... finished being bollocked by Jack." He added the smile fading away.

Gwen petted his arm. "Don't worry love. It's just good to see you on your feet." She went straight down to the autopsy bay and Tosh and Ianto both rolled their eyes at the same time.....

xx

As soon as Ianto was settled on Owen's exam couch Jack scuttled up to his office and shut the door. Ianto's revelation had shocked him and he found that he really didn't know what to do about it. He went to his desk and sat down burying his face in his hands for a moment. In years gone by Jack knew he would have done the same thing, he'd killed for far less in the past. The trouble was yet another layer of Ianto Jones had been revealed to him, one he hadn't expected ever to see. He knew the feelings were there, the deep loyalty and the lengths he had gone to for Lisa, the trauma of losing Liam at such an early age...... Canary Wharf. Jack wondered what horrors Ianto had witnessed there, but it wasn't difficult to guess, though perhaps harder to imagine. Something had clearly snapped when Ianto murdered Liam's killer. Jack understood that, but not in Ianto. He'd already made the decision not to discuss this with the rest of the team. Ianto didn't need that, Torchwood certainly didn't. Jack needed his team back, whole and cohesive and at every turn he seemed to be failing in making it happen. The same thought kept rolling around in his mind, did he care enough to make it happen? He glanced out of his window to see Tosh working at her terminal and every so often she'd glance in the direction of the autopsy bay whether for Owen or Ianto, Jack did not know. He hoped it was for Ianto, but he doubted it. Owen had no interest in her. Tosh's inner fire and passion was almost always directed at some piece of new tech, something she could fix or build, something that wouldn't hurt her feelings or dismiss her. Jack sighed with frustration, he could see them all falling apart.

He wasn't sure how long he had been watching, but he heard Owen's raised voice and saw Tosh rise from her seat to investigate. Ianto came up from the autopsy bay and then Gwen arrived all cheery and refreshing, like a tonic. Ianto obviously did not enjoy being hugged.

Jack went to his office door and opened it. He yelled.

"Ianto, my office!"

Jack stalked back to his seat, plonked himself down and waited. A moment later and Ianto was there, tapping on the door frame.

"You wanted to see me, sir?" He kept his tone mild and neutral and Jack appreciated it. He gestured.

"Close the door and sit."

Ianto did as he was asked, his movements still awkward with discomfort. Jack picked up a pen almost tempted to chew on it, he put it back down and folded his arms across his chest.

"What the hell am I going to do with you?"

Ianto shrugged.

"Why did you tell me about Liam?"

"You asked."

Jack scrubbed his hands over his face. "Yes... yes... I meant about his murderer."

Oh, that. Ianto looked down at his hands and then braced himself to look directly into Jack's face.

"I'm tired of secrets Jack. I am tired of feeling tired. I want you to trust me."

"I should hand you over to the police."

Ianto nodded at the statement of fact, recognising that it wasn't meant as a threat.

"I could do more good here, prison would be wasteful."

Jack couldn't argue the point. "So why did you tell me? Is this some way of you telling me that you're going to kill me one day because of Lisa?"

Ianto baulked. "What?"

"Well?"

"No.... sir. No not that. I hate what you did, part of me hates you for doing it, but it wasn't Lisa. You shot Annie with Lisa's brain in her head and it was all wrong, that whole bloody night was just so fucked up." Ianto sank his face into his shaking hands not wanting to go over all that again. "I need to know that I can trust you."

Jack leant forward across his desk. "And you think that me keeping your dirty secret is the way to do it?" He hissed angrily.

It was going the wrong way again. "No Jack. Not in that way. If you want to ring the police, then fine... do it. Lets face it I have nothing to lose. I was just trying to be honest with you, make a start. Clearly I misjudged that." Ianto's left hand went to his gut and hissed with pain paling visibly. "Shit."

Jack shot up and came round the desk. "You ok?"

It took a moment. "Yep, really. No.... I feel like shit."

Jack sighed and went and fetched Ianto a glass of water from the jug next to his whiskey decanter. He pressed the glass into Ianto's hand. Ianto sipped cautiously because his stomach needed caution.

"Thanks."

Jack sat back down. "How did the medical go?"

Ianto took another sip of water before replying. "Owen seemed pleased, if a little pissed at me. He told me to rest and follow the instructions from the hospital and I have to see him again on Friday."

"Make sure you do."

Ianto nodded and then a silence settled between them as Jack watched the younger man intently and Ianto watched him back.

"You have a long way to go Ianto, before we can start trusting each other."

"I know that."

They were quiet again until Ianto finished the glass of water and put the empty cut crystal on the desk.

"What are you waiting for Jack?"

The question startled him and Jack frowned. "I don't understand."

Ianto picked at his fingers for a moment. "You behave like you're waiting for something, like you're only half here. One minute you care, the next you dismiss, as if you're not sure."

Jack had to smile. "No one could ever accuse you of being unobservant." He then checked himself, maybe he shouldn't have said that. "Believe me I care, more than I want to." He added.

Ianto didn't look convinced and recognised the deflection. He gazed out of the window. Tosh was back at her station.

"Is Tosh alright, she seemed, a little sad."

Jack was eternally grateful for the change of subject.

"Owen's being a dick."

"You mean Gwen?"

Jack nodded.

"I thought she had a boyfriend?"

"Since when did that make a difference?"

"It would to me." Ianto replied without thinking. He dipped his head. "Was there anything else sir? I'm tired I'd like to go home."

Jack lunged to his feet and grabbed his greatcoat. "I'll drive you back, I have an errand to take care of anyway."

Ianto wondered if he really did. "Thank you, sir."

Jack nodded. "One day you'll drop the, sir, though you have no idea how sexy that is."

Ianto rolled his eyes and a faint smile graced his pale features and Jack was privately delighted to see it no matter how much crap there was between them.

AN: I hope this is working I am not sure it is.... still fun though!