A/N: Anyone still following this...? The last month or so has been pretty crap so I'm sorry it's taken so long, but I have a fairly long chapter for you this time.

This is one of the first scenes I wrote for this story (how I wanted the end of the ep to go, sans dogs and the Feldman's), and it's probably too sappy and probably has errors, but I'm tired and struggling to keep my eyes open, and I was trying to get this up days ago. So here it is in, in all of it's - ahem - "glory". I'll go over it tomorrow if I have time and fix the errors, but feel free to PM if it's blaringly obvious :)

Enjoy :)

'Night, Deeks.'

'Wifey? Light of my life? Sugar Bear?'

Kensi snickered as she slowly walked out of OSP. There was no way he was hearing the rest of that story, at least not tonight anyway.

'Oh, Mr Deeks,' Hetty's singsong voice reverberated off the Spanish masonry ominously. Kensi could practically hear the gulp from her partner's throat as if he was standing beside her. 'About those handcuffs...'

Foot falls followed her out of the building then zooming past her as she made her way to the car. The giggle in her throat would not be squelched as her eyes followed her partner running like Captain Jack, bursting out the door. Kensi chuckled as she left OPS, walking slowly to her car. When her silly partner came back into her view, he was leaning against the silver SUV, arms crossed and waiting patiently. Anyone else would have been in a pool of their own blood for leaning against her precious car with his arms crossed over his chest, but he seemed to be the exception yet again, though tonight the sight of him there frustrated her. She wouldn't have minded so much if he wasn't propped against her door baring her from the step closer to sleep.

'Move it, Deeks,' she warned, popping the locks on the vehicle.

'Was that story even real, or were you just playing with me?' he asked, not budging, smirk forming on his features.

She was tired and sore and so not in the mood for this: she wanted to fall into bed, Lily beside her and just sleep for a week. This combination meant one thing: a dangerous Kensi.

Ever so slowly, her arms came out, hands splayed on the cool metal on either side of his body, inching closer to him. It was tempting with his taste still on her lips, to close the distance between them, giving into the feelings she's been harbouring for her partner. But Kensi abstained, watching his eyes get wider as she got closer. Strong arms that had held her sleeping form for the past few weeks, dropped to his side allowing her to graze her body against his chest. Brown eyes flicked down to his lips and back up to his azure orbs over and over as she drew herself against him. He stopped breathing and this time she did hear the gulp in his throat.

'I don't think you could handle the answer,' her voice sounding coarse and thick even to her own ears. The raspy words of hers were encored with a squeak when Kensi pinched the sensitive spot on his side, one that she had found entirely by accident when they had been playing house.

As he jumped, Kensi took the opportunity to pull the handle on her door and move him from her car.

'Not fair, Kensi,' her partner said a little sourly, not quite moving from her space and she was almost daring him to capture her lips and hold them hostage for eternity, because that 'cover kiss' did not last long enough. The way he looked at her, eyes flicking to her lips, made her think that he wanted to.

'Get in the car, Deeks,' she said brusquely after a very long moment.

The partners had agreed that as far as OSP were concerned they left separately, going separate homes to sleep in their separate beds. It wasn't the case.

Deeks walked around to the passenger seat of her car and got in with tension so thick there was a good chance she would have to get out her pocket knife just so she could see where she was going. It was a strange mixture of frustration, temptation, exhaustion, with a cup full of energy and a dash of heat. After this undercover OP, Kensi looked at Deeks differently. Damn it, she knew what he would be like as a husband, even if they only played their roles when they were in public; they still acted like their usual incorrigible selves when they were alone. It didn't matter though, because there really wasn't much difference between their private and public appearance. They teased and jabbed, she punched him in the arm when he got too cheeky like every other day on the job; but that arm would always find a home on her waist, bringing her flush against his muscular, lean body.

The touching was the difference and it soothed Kensi's fire towards her partner, letting go of the stupid remarks he had said. As soon as he'd touch her, the fight in her blood was gone and she'd meld into his side, her head against his shoulder or in the crook of his neck as they listened to whoever was chatting to them.

Just thinking about being wrapped up in him gave her warm tingles, but they were doused with cold water in an instant as the realisation hit her like an 18-wheeler.

Kensi was going to miss it. Desperately.

She was going to miss waking up to that stupid, scruffy face in the morning, she'd miss Deeks making her breakfast with sweats low on his hips, she'd miss curling up to him on the sofa (when they really didn't need to keep up the front) watching one of her stupid shows or a movie.

She would miss him even though he was still right there, right beside her where he always is.

But it's not the same.

She got away with the touches and giving into him because it was a ruse, an act, deception, their job. And now? Now it would take all of her strength to force herself back into old habits that she no longer wanted to have. Honestly, it would take more effort for Kensi to revert back to her old relationship with her partner than to slip into the persona of Mrs Marty Deeks- no, Mrs Justin Waring, damn it!

It wasn't much work on her part, hardly any, in fact and that's what scared her the most. God, she already knew she was falling for him, but going undercover as husband and wife really put her through the bender and she wouldn't know how to act. At first, anyway. But in practicality, the change was effortless. What scared her now, more so than the ease in which she became Melissa, was that all of it was one sided. There were times where she thought he felt something for her by the way Deeks looked at her, pushing a stray curl out of her sleepy eyes in the morning while they were still in bed, or when he burst into the bathroom, gun drawn, frantic from all the blood she'd trailed through the house, only to see a flash of hunger in his eyes when he realised she was fine and dressed in a towel.

Other times, he was cold, and that's when Kensi thought she was turning into a teenage girl with a crush on the popular guy that would never even look in her direction, let alone think of dating her.

Like right now.

Deeks hadn't even looked at her since they got into the car. Hadn't said a word, or moved his head anywhere from the passing dark scenery out the window. It's times like this where he is so un-Deeks like that it makes her feel weak and worthless and hates her stupid emotions and attraction with a passion.

It's then that another realisation dawns upon her.

It was never like this with Jack.

The emotions and feelings she had for Jack are nothing compared to the ones she holds for the man in the passenger seat of her car. The unrequited love she holds for her partner is tenfold of what she felt for her ex, and damn, Kensi can only imagine what it would be like if he actually felt the same way.

As if he was reading her mind, Deeks turned to look at her as they stopped for a red light. His face was expressionless for a second before his lips curled into a soft smile, blue eyes sparkling and it made all of her reservations about face and retreat. Kensi smiled back before watching the road again, silently kicking herself for her girly emotions. She had vowed after her ex that she would never revolve her life and emotions around a man; that she could be strong and never need another guy in her life again.

Enter - Marty Deeks.

He had this strange way of making her defences fall down, and yet, she's still herself, or Bad-Ass Blye as he calls her. Still that strong Special Agent who can handle herself and protect herself, who loves guns and knives, who isn't scared of anything... except losing him. Kensi is still Kensi, but with Marty Deeks, she's softer around the edges, and remembers that she likes to cuddle and spend lazy days in bed with that special someone, and wants to be loved.

It was after well midnight when Kensi and Deeks arrived at her family's house. She had called back at OSP to make sure that they were still awake before making their way over. The last thing Julia needed was Kensi and Deeks turning up unannounced on her doorstep in the middle of the night. The partners still hadn't said a word to each other, but with the lift in their mouths, something had lifted from the atmosphere in the car, making it a little easier for Kensi to watch the road and not worry about the tension in the cabin. Deeks had waited for her to come around to the pavement, before following a step behind to her family's door. Kensi flushed when she remembered the last time they had been here, half out of her brain with a hangover, clinging to Deeks like he was a very handsome and irresistible life raft.

Quiet whimpering met them at the door as she knocked. The harmonising sounds made Kensi grin. She had missed both of those fluffy faces. At the same time, the pair were drawn to each other as their dogs cried; him leaning forward and her leaning back. When their bodies touched, after the tension in the car, Kensi had expected one or both of them to jump away. To her happy surprise, they didn't. Deeks' body brushed against the back of her right shoulder and she waited for his arm to hook around her waist and pull her close. For the first time in weeks, it didn't; and it hurt.

Julia opened the door and her tired smile gave them a once over before saying, 'Coffee,' as she stepped aside to allow them in. They were mauled on sight, and not just by their dogs. Lily and Monty didn't know which of the partners to go to first, attacking them with kisses and beating their legs with wagging weapons, swapping back and forth between the pair after a few seconds. Kaylee had bounded down the stairs full of energy and hugged them so tightly - Kensi was afraid she was going to be crushed to death by those small arms - only to have the girl trudge back up the stairs not five minutes later; all of her previous energy diminished.

Julia ushered the partners into the kitchen and put the coffee pot on. Kensi and Deeks took up stools on the breakfast bar, dogs at their feet, curled up and content their owners were around and they weren't planning on letting the pair leave their sight.

'Kensi!'

'Huh?' her mother's voice had snapped her out of the little reverie she was in, thinking about the case, thinking about her partner. Her fingers had traced her lips back and forth remembering the kiss she had forced on him at their swinger neighbour's house. It was just lips on lips, pressure and force pushing two pieces of flesh together. Nothing. It meant nothing. And it had made her feel hollow, all those horrible emotions rushing back to her in the instance she thought about it. It was definitely not the first kiss she had imagined with him – and yes, she had thought of it – until she felt pressure push back against her mouth, moving his lips against hers. Deeks had kissed her back sending her pulse erratic and colour to her cheeks. She felt a spark that made her tingle in the tips of her toes – and then they were interrupted. The soft movement of his lips ended way too quickly, only lasting for a few heartbeats before their neighbours startled them.

For an instance, she almost forgot where she was, that they were on assignment and their 'Happily Ever After' wasn't real. Kensi knew it was greedy and ... wrong because they partners, but she needed his lips again, and other parts of him, too. And she needed it for a lot longer than just a few seconds.

'Are you two ok?' Julia asked, looking at the pair curiously.

Neither of them had realized they were leaning into each other, shoulders touching slightly, their bodies aching to be near each other. Kensi glanced at him for a moment, expecting him to jump away from her again, but he didn't, he was too far gone into his own memories of the case and their contact was beyond normal now for him to really notice. He was in a pose similar to her, elbows resting on the counter while his fingers rubbed the skin of his left ring finger; where his wedding ring had been for the short few weeks they were together as husband and wife.

'Sorry, mom. It was a long case.'

'Bad?' Julia asked. She never asked too many questions, but this time, with the way the partners were acting, Kensi knew she was concerned and her curiosity getting the better of her.

Kensi hesitated and could feel Deeks stiffen beside her. She could lie with a hint of teasing and say it was the worst assignment she had been on, suggesting that the entire reason was because of the man beside her; but she couldn't. Memories flashed behind her eyes: waking up next to his warm, pliant body; watching him cook for her; the intimate moment on the couch talking about her future mutant progeny (and didn't the offer of his fathering said children have her heart going a million miles a minute); and that God awful, terrified look his face wore as he burst into the bathroom, getting replaced by ... heat when he realised she was ok. Kensi couldn't bring herself to tease because she wanted all of that to be real, with every beat of her scarred heart.

'Not entirely,' Kensi finally decided to go with. A little puff of air was released from the man beside her; obviously he was holding his breath at her answer.

Julia smiled knowingly. She locked eyes with her daughter, and Kensi cringed a little. The woman had an uncanny ability to read her daughter, better than Deeks did. Julia knew something else had gone on with the partners, and with the way she was looking between Deeks' little tick with his ring finger and Kensi's constant rubbing of her lips, it wasn't hard for her to put the pieces together.

Kensi even saw the moment when it clicked for her; saw her mother try and school her features as realisation dawned. Her eyes silently asked if the partners finally crossed that line they had been dancing along for a year. Kensi shook her head slightly though her mother didn't believe it.

Deeks was totally oblivious to the silent conversation, still playing with the skin around his knuckle. Kensi's left hand moved over her partners, pushing it back down on the counter gently. He smiled at her wearily, looking about as tired as she felt. Kensi knew the OP had taken its toll on him too; they were probably going over the same things about the assignment. Well, she kinda hoped he was stuck on the same things as she was.

As she tried to move her hand away from his, Deeks' index finger and thumb snagged her ring finger. Her mind instantly went back to when Hetty had first placed the boxes on their desks, telling them about the undercover operation that would they would embark on in two days... as a married couple. Both had baulked at first, complaining to Hetty's retreating back. Kensi hadn't looked at the offending black box on her desk for hours, ignoring the nagging and elation singing in the back of her mind until she couldn't take it any longer. Six hours had been long enough, she had reasoned. As soon as Kensi opened her little velvet box, Deeks was in front of her taking it out of her hand and pulling her from her desk chair.

'It's only right if your husband puts these on your finger,' He had told her quietly. Kensi wanted to say something about Deeks not really being her husband, but he already had hold of her hand, thumb tracing her bare ring finger. His blue eyes held hers as he slipped the diamond engagement ring on her finger, thumb once again tracing her finger, but this time over the cold metal. Next was the wedding band; he still held her gaze as he slipped it on her finger, meeting the engagement ring.

'With this ring I thee – temporarily – wed,' Deeks whispered, a little smile toying at his lips as his eyes shone at her.

Kensi's heart fluttered in her chest, damn him for being sweet. He was too good to her, even when she pushed him away. He turned to leave her personal bubble that he usually disregarded when she caught his arm, leading him slowly back to his desk with the matching little black box. Kensi's fingers trailed down Deeks arm finding his ring finger as she plucked the gold band from the open box. She really should have said something about the fact it was open. Had he been looking at it all day?

'Only right if your wife does this,' she repeated back to him.

Kensi knew that he was smiling at her with that little smile that he reserved for her. The one that said he cared for her way more than a partner should. The particular curve was getting more and more frequent lately and she tried to ignore it, but it was getting more difficult each passing day.

'With this ring I, thee – temporarily – wed,' She whispered, voice thick and heavy with emotion that she usually kept hidden. Damn him!

'You may now kiss the bride?' Deeks asked; hopeful. Kensi was glad for the humour; he had a knack of knowing when she needed the retreat.

'You wish, Deeks.'

'Eeeevery night, Wifey,' he replied, broaching into her space more, noses almost touching. She loved that he challenged her; not many men did, even less survived it. In fact, she was pretty sure he was the only one still breathing.

Sam and Callen chose that moment to come in and ruin their moment, making jokes about the newly 'wedded' couple.

As her mind found its way back to the present, Deeks still had his two fingers around hers, a little longing in his eyes. He missed those rings on their fingers. So did she. Kensi hated it when he took her aside when they got back to OSP and gently pulled those rings off her fingers. She hated it when her hand had stretched out finding his ring finger and slowly took his.

'Go home, you two,' Julia said quietly. The woman shifted a little, uncomfortable that she was in the room while her daughter was very wrapped up in a moment with her partner.

Deeks reluctantly let go of Kensi's hand, grabbing the bag both he and Kensi had left with all of Lily and Monty's food and other bits and pieces their dogs loved. He moved to Julia, kissing her on the cheek and thanking her once again for taking care of Monty – and Lily. Kensi smiled at that.

He grabbed their leads, hooking them up and heading out the door to the car. Kensi got up from the stool and went to her mother.

'What happened?'

'We were married for three weeks,' She sighed. Kensi watched as her mother gaped at her, excitement bubbling under the surface. Julia looked like she was going to burst.

'And?!'

'It was... different. It, um... gave me a taste of something that... I haven't wanted in a long time.'

'Honey-'

'I don't know,' Kensi huffed, a little frustrated with herself. 'I need to get my head back together.'

Julia walked Kensi out to her car where Deeks and their dogs waiting for Kensi. Lily and Monty were wagging their tails as the women got closer and Deeks looked like he was almost falling asleep.

'Will we see you next Sunday, Marty?' Julia asked the sleepy detective.

'Sunday?'

'Mother's Day. I'd really like you to come. We're going out for dinner.'

Kensi squeezed her mother's hand slightly. She didn't know much about his mother, it was a warning to not press too hard. Family was sensitive for both of them, and Julia didn't know about Deeks' father and what he went through as a kid.

'Unless you have plans?' Julia added, sensing Kensi's concern.

'No, no.' Deeks responded quickly with a sleepy grin. 'If you want me there, I'd be happy to come.'

'Bye, mom.' Kensi said, hugging her mother and going to the driver's side. The keys were already in the ignition for her.

'Be safe,' Julia waved as they drove off.

*~-=.oOo.=-~*

Kensi drove to Deeks' apartment; both Lily and Monty were out for the count, it was like they hadn't slept at all while the partners were on assignment.

Now well after two, the adrenaline rush had worn off and exhaustion was setting in.

He was really going to miss this assignment, and Deeks hadn't said that about any of his undercover OPs, but this one was different. Somehow it was always different with Kensi. He's going to miss going to sleep with her every night and waking up to her every morning.

He remembered that first night they spent together. They were both exhausted from unpacking their belongings around the house, adding little keepsakes and photos to make it look like they were actually in the commander's life. He had found it too quiet during the day, in this sleepy little neighbourhood. He missed the sound of the ocean and cars passing on the road outside his apartment. And he missed Monty - Lily too, if he's being honest.

He crawled into bed on the right hand side, happy that his back was getting some rest. Kensi shuffled in from the bathroom, but stopped as soon as she saw him sprawled on the bed. He hadn't thought that maybe he'd have to sleep on the couch for this assignment. They hadn't really talked about their sleeping arrangements. They were both adults, and they could sleep in the same bed together. It would have sounded ok, if not for the blaringly obvious: he was in love with his partner who was about to sleep beside him.

'I can't sleep on the left side, Deeks.' she mumbled, a yawn following her words.

Too tired to complain, banter, or argue, Deeks simply lifted the covers and rolled to the opposite side of the bed. He released the little breath he was holding and hoped to God that little Marty wouldn't make an appearance in the morning.

He felt the bed dip behind him and the covers moved. Deeks thought about rolling over and watching her drift off to sleep, but that would be a little creepy. The sound of her breathing floating around in the room, and he listened to every relaxed inhale. Kensi's not panicking about this, so why should he? Deeks stayed on his side until the mattress moved again, and he felt her warm, tired body pressed up against him, an arm resting on his waist gently. He felt every breath she took.

'I miss Lily,' she whispered quietly on his neck. 'And Monty.' Deeks smiled and rolled over to look at her in the semi darkness, his hand coming out and resting on her hip. He waited for the slap, but it never came. She was probably exhausted like he was. Either way, Deeks took it as a good sign; especially with her arm now draping entirely over his waist.

'I miss them, too. They'd be all snuggled up with Kaylee by now.'

'I wish they were snuggled up here.' she murmured, and he inclined his head in agreement.

A hand came up and brushed the hair out of her face, as her eyelids started to close.

'Goodnight, Melissa.'

'Goodnight, Justin.'

He listened long enough to hear her breathing even out, and a few little endearing snort snores. He watched her snuggle into her pillow and felt her arm tighten around his middle.

'Night, Fern,' he whispered again before he kissed her forehead gently. He wiggled down the bed a little further, getting even closer to his partner and getting comfortable while sleep slowly took him into its endless depths.

As much as he complained about Kensi taking up the entire bed when they were playing house, she never really did. There were some days when he woke up with her pressed tightly against his body while it was teetering precariously on the edge of the bed. Other days, he would pressed up against her. Though most days, they'd be somewhere in the middle, limbs tangled up together. They were like magnets, forever finding each other in the tangle of sheets. But that first morning, Deeks had woken up in the exact same position as when they had fallen asleep. They hadn't moved an inch.

He had been the first to wake, watching her slowly rouse from whatever dream she was having. As he eyes opened, her mouth curled up and her cheeks flushed with red. He ignored it of course, that and the pang that went straight to his groin. A sleepy, shy Kensi was beautiful, and Deeks had to keep his mantra of 'She's your partner,' rolling around in his brain to stop him from leaning in and kissing her silly. But they had stayed like that for hours, it seemed, just taking the sight of each other in, until her stomach had growled. With a great deal of strength, he managed to pull them both out of bed and into the kitchen where he made her breakfast for the first time. She had waited patiently and silently, eyes following him around the kitchen as he cooked. Another pang was sent to his groin when she moaned into the first mouthful of pancake, a rich and glorious sound that made his heart swell in pride as she dug into the food he had prepared. And call him a pansy or a Nancy, but cooking for a woman you've fallen for and have her moan greedily and devour every crumb on her plate was absolutely orgasmic.

Deeks had been living out his ultimate fantasy for the last three weeks, and his heart was sinking with every passing second because the closer they got to his apartment, the closer he got to the reality of being just Kensi Blye's partner, nothing more. He wouldn't get to wake up next to her every morning, wouldn't make her meals, wouldn't get to slip his arm around her waist and pull her close. No more cuddling up on the lounge or carrying her sleepy form up to their bed, no more gushing over how fantastic she was to other people and how lucky he was to have her.

No more marital bliss.

Absolute heartache. That's all he could feel at the moment.

Yes, she was still with him, still his partner, but Deeks was a greedy bastard and he wanted more. What they had during this operation was perfect because it wasn't. They still bickered like crazy and she hit on occasion, they went to bed angry some nights and woke up in each others' arms. But the entire thing was amazing.

Stupid Hetty with her stupid missions that made him want things that he couldn't have.

There were many a night that he dreamt of waking up next to Kensi, swollen stomach protruding in the sheets, a little body curled up between them that definitely wasn't Lily or Monty: a girl about three years old, the spitting image of Kensi but with his blue eyes. Kensi would roll over as she woke and smile at the two of them, little arms wrapped up in his shirt with a brown head of hair tucked into his neck. Her fingers would trail through the little girl's hair, rings that he had given her sparkling in the morning sunshine. Hope, love and promise shone out of Kensi's smile and he was happy. Absolutely happy.

On mornings when that dream haunted his sleep, he'd startle awake and reach for Kensi, finding only a flat stomach under his fingertips. His heart would sink when he remembered the sleeper cell they were hunting, but she'd cuddle into him still in the grasp of slumber and he'd think it wasn't so bad.

Deeks should have known better, because now it felt horrible. It was sinking in now that he wasn't going to get the future he dreamt about, because Kensi wasn't stupid enough to feel anything for him - as much as he wished it to be true.

When she pulled up to his place, she didn't want to let him get out of the car. He could feel it in her eyes when she looked at him and then up to his apartment. Deeks hesitated with his hand on the door handle, grasping the piece of plastic as his mind whirled and debated, steeling his nerves as the apprehensive words spilled out of his mouth.

'Come up, Kens. You look like you're about to crash.'

She laughed a little, too freely. Oh yeah, exhaustion had kicked in. 'Hetty said in our own beds.'

A clawing need started in the pit of his stomach at her warm giggle. He had to have her curled up by his side for one more night. Kensi was addictive. Like Ecstasy or Ice, one taste and he was hooked forever. But he'd settle for her sleeping in his apartment if she wouldn't lie beside him without the ruse of being happily married. 'I don't care, I'll sleep on the couch if you want me to, but I'll feel better if you stayed with me tonight.'

Kensi didn't reply, just pulled the keys out of the ignition and got out gracefully. She turned to find Deeks still in his seat, stunned that she wasn't fighting him on this one, that she was willing. Her brown eyes met his, sending him a pointed look, before he shook himself out of the stupor and joined her on the sidewalk. She opened the car and Lily and Monty ran up to the foyer door and waited patiently for them, tails wagging as the partners slowly made their way to the building. The dogs bolted again, bounding up the two flights of stairs to his apartment. Deeks heard the soft whimpers and he knew they had made it outside his place. Deeks kept his eyes on the ground as he trudged along behind his partner; her tired body setting the snail's pace. She could have gone at the speed of light and he would have followed her, right behind her regardless.

*~-=.oOo.=-~*

Kensi's face burned as she moved up the stairs. Embarrassment shone because she was lucky enough to be staying with her partner another night. She was so glad when he invited her upstairs, not sure that she was going to be able to sleep without him by her side. He was shocked when she didn't say no to his offer, and Kensi wasn't sure if that made her happy or sad.

As they walked up the second flight of stairs, the crappy green carpet under her feet, her mother's voice drifted through her brain. Mother's day. It had been so long since she'd celebrated it, but the guilt and pain of what happened fifteen years ago always plagued her, but this year, with everything going on, it had snuck up on her. And honestly, she should have known her mother would invite her partner. They hadn't talked about his family, save for his monster father, and that was only in passing... mostly around the time he was shot; when he found out that the man had died in '98. Family hadn't really been a conversation topic between them, and with good reason, but since Lily had come along and she introduced him to the Feldman's, that had changed. But what about his mom?

'About, Mother's Day,' Kensi started tentatively. 'You don't need to come if you have plans. I feel like mom pressured you into it.'

His warm chuckle followed her as they rose. 'I didn't have any plans, and she didn't pressure me.' They got to his door and he turned to her, sadness in his eyes. 'Though, if you don't want me to come-'

'I didn't say that. I just- you don't want to spend time with your family?'

He opened the door and led her inside closing it behind them. Kensi thought he was following her, but he wasn't. Deeks was leaning against the door, bag slipping off his shoulder. His head was down and he looked defeated.

'What is it, Deeks?' her tone was oddly kind, even to her own ears as she walked back to him.

Kensi could see the beginnings of tears pooling in the lower lids of his eyes as he looked back up at her. Her heart ached with his pain. 'You are the only family I have, Kens,' Deeks whispered and looked up, finding her eyes. Oh, his blue eyes held too much hurt. She both hated and loved seeing him like this: loved that he was this open with her, that he trusted her with his pain, but she hated seeing him hurt. It was irrational, but she wanted to do anything to take away the hurt, making the carefree mask he wore daily no longer a mask.

'Callen, Sam, Hetty, Eric, Nell; they're family too, a different kind of family, but your parents and brothers; and that amazing kid sister of yours... I know now what you meant about them being so welcoming because they've done it to me too. Sucked me in.'

'They have no intention of letting you go either,' she said gently. Kensi couldn't take it anymore, and had to touch him. Her hand went straight for that scruffy cheek of his. 'And I'm not letting you go either.'

In the dim, she saw his eyes darken, and a shiver ran though her body. He had never looked like he wanted her more, or any other girl that she had seen him with. And then it faded. Control had kicked over in his brain and he let out a massive sigh.

It was one of the things she admired about him, but right now wished that he had done what they both needed, and closed the very short distance between them. And she wished she had the courage to do that when his control took over. But tonight wasn't the night. Instead she went somewhere in between, closing the gap between them and kissing his other scruffy cheek, a little longer than necessary and just a little too close to his lips. Maybe she was egging him on slightly, pushing that wondrous control of his. She took his hand and led him to the bedroom.

'Come on. We need sleep.'

'Ok,' his voice was rough and dark as he followed her. He scooped up his pillow from the right side of the bed and turned to leave. Where the hell did he think he was going?

'Martin Andrew Deeks, get your ass back in here. You think I'm letting you sleep on that death machine you call a couch?'

Deeks froze at the door and turned slowly. Kensi had never used his full name before, ever. No matter how pissed off she was with him. That's when she realized that it was a very wifey thing to do. This assignment had changed them just that little bit too much. But God, she wouldn't have it any other way.

As he looked back at her, she could see his dark blue eyes taking her in, and that heat returned for a split second.

'What? You think you're the only one who reads personnel files?' she joked, trying to hide the incredible wife-y-ness that was filling the room with an increasing rate.

Deeks walked back to the bed, chucking his pillow back where it was and crowded her, pushing her limit.

'My couch isn't that bad.'

'I've slept on it. It's terrible.'

'You just want to sleep next to me, don't you?' the teasing cockiness wasn't really in his voice now. And he knew it. It was more of a statement and a dare lingering under the surface. But she wasn't going to let him know that she had gotten used to his warm body beside her a she slept.

'Nope. You can sleep on the couch if you want; I was just trying to save your back. But don't complain to me tomorrow.'

'I could make you sleep on the couch,' he threatened.

'Nope, I'm sleeping in here, on this bed. We both need a good night sleep, so how about you stop your pointless banter and get into bed.'

'You're calling me on the pointless banter?'

'Yep. I'm tired and so are you, so shut up and come to bed,' she said walking around him and going through his draws before finding sweats and an old top.

'Make yourself at home,' Deeks said with only a hint of sarcasm in his voice.

'Already have,' she smiled cheekily back to him.

Kensi headed straight for the bathroom, leaning back on the door as soon as it closed. Her head hit the wood with a thump, resting it there as everything that she had said and done caught up with her. What was she doing? Kensi should have said 'no' countless times; accepted his offer of his bed alone, but no, she hadn't. She had basically told him he was going to sleep beside her, or else. It was definitely not the way to separate herself from the man by sleeping beside him. What did she expect? That one night sleeping in the same bed as themselves would have him fawning over her?

Stupid! she moaned and banged her head again before actually changing into the clothes she stole for the night. And sleeping in his clothes, smelling like him to their core, being soft and inviting, wasn't going to make her departure any easier. No matter what her semi-rational brain said, that muscle in her chest that had been silent for years now, had found its voice and was making her do all sorts of crazy things... that made her feel light and amazing.

After Kensi left the bathroom, she put some dry food and water out for the dogs, ambling about a bit to make sure that Deeks had had enough time to change so she didn't barge in on him only half dressed or less. The image her mind created of Deeks with only pants on, and then on his boxers... and then nothing at all - oh God, what was she doing! - had her sinking back into his kitchen counter, moaning lightly and biting her lip, trying to get a hold of herself before she faced her partner.

A couple of mintues - and as many deep, soothing breaths - Kensi made her way to the bedroom, stopping for a moment in the lounge room. Lily and Monty were curled up on the couch together, facing towards each other, limbs touching as they melded. Kensi smiled at them, sound asleep underneath the picture of dogs playing poker. She liked to think that she wouldn't be in her partner's apartment like this if it wasn't for that fluffy white anomaly in her life. If not for Lily, Kensi would have gone home, hopped into her own bed and over thought every detail about the case.

Kensi quickly snapped a photo of the sleeping pooches with her phone and sent it to Deeks before she went back into his bedroom, only to find him on the left side of the bed waiting for her. Her heart leapt out of her chest. He had done this a few times when they had been 'married', other nights, he had fought her for it. There had been races to the top of the stairs, bets and wagers, but the nights he was already under the covers on the left made her wish that it was real. Deeks smiled at her as she walked over and slid beneath the cool sheets. She turned off the bedside light, plunging the apartment into darkness.

The warmth and the smell of him surrounded her, making her content and fuzzy, and even though this was the first time sleeping in his bed, and the first time sleeping next to him as Kensi and Kensi alone, she was having no trouble drifting asleep when she should have been nervous as hell like she was before.

Kensi felt the mattress dip behind her, his hand coming to rest on her hip gently.

Did Deeks think she was asleep?

His body slowly moulded behind hers, making them flush against each other. No, he knew she was awake; he was waiting for her protests. Kensi didn't move. She wanted his warm body close to hers so she wasn't going to stop him. When there were no slaps or kicks to his shins or his boys, Deeks got braver: the hand on her hip trailed slowly along her stomach, wrapping around her middle and his legs moved up behind hers, tucking neatly into her bent ones. A content sigh left Kensi's body, her eyes closed as a smile tweaked at her lips. He felt like home. His face settled near her neck, hovering dangerously close to her skin with his warm breath sending tingles though her body.

'Not letting you go either,' Deeks whispered to her.

Her heart and stomach did a synchronized flip and Kensi relaxed into him. Her arm moved to cover his as it grasped her, holding him in place around her waist. Deeks wriggled closer, making sure there was no free air between them and rested his face against her neck, just behind her ear.

'Good,' she murmured, sleep taking over her as she settled into her partner's inviting embrace.

A/N: Thoughts?

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