AN: I am officially caught up with what I've written. This chapter took several days, so I didn't get to stay ahead the way I wanted. I'm hoping to get 11 finished today to have it posted tomorrow, but if I don't, it should definitely be ready by Monday. After that, who knows. Thank you for the reviews. It makes me feel good to know that people are enjoying my stories. Have a wonderful holiday weekend (for you US people).
Chapter 10
Elizabeth made her way down the hallway in the ICU. She stopped in front of the glass doors of room 6. Her brief flashback took her to when she was 14 and the moment before she walked into Will's hospital room after the car accident that killed her parents. Will had miraculously been fine other than some scratches and bruises.
This situation was not going to turn out the same. Elizabeth already knew that. They had known this time would come for months. It still didn't make Elizabeth feel any better. She wasn't angry like Henry, but deeply saddened that she would never get to have a strong relationship with this woman who had nurtured two of the people she loved most in the world. And that Ann's death would have such a deep impact on them.
She slid the door open and stepped in. As Elizabeth came closer, Ann turned her head and smiled. "I almost fell back asleep waiting. Damn meds."
Elizabeth sat down on the edge of the bed and took Ann's hand into her own. "I'm sorry. I think they had to find me. I was with Henry away from the waiting room."
"How is he?" she asked.
"He's working through it. It will take some time. He will be fine," Elizabeth said
"It helps that you've already walked this road. You know what to expect."
"I do, but everyone grieves differently. I will be there for him. For them both."
"You have no idea the peace that knowledge gives me. I had faith that God would work everything out, but seeing it happen before I go has been an unexpected joy." Ann squeezed her hand.
"I'm glad. I'm certainly happy that I had the pleasure of knowing you." Elizabeth smiled.
"I wanted to see you because I wanted to ask you to do something for me. If you are willing, I have a job for you. Patrick knows they exist but he is such a man, he would never remember to take care of these in a timely manner." Elizabeth studied Ann, trying to figure out what it was exactly she was being tasked with. "In the house, under the bed are five shoeboxes. Each shoebox has one of the kids' names on it, and it holds letters for each of them for milestones in their lives. I would like you to be in charge of giving the recipient their letter at the appropriate time."
Elizabeth thought about her own life and how many times in the past few year she would have loved to have some words of wisdom from her Mom. She was trying hard not to break down, but Ann wasn't making it easy. "I would be honored to be the caretaker and distributor of your letters."
"Thank you. I knew you would be the perfect person for the job." Ann relaxed back against the pillow as if a weight had been removed. "There's one more thing. They just told Patrick that Beth can't come back here because she's not old enough. Evidently the fact the I'm dying and want to see her one last time didn't make a convincing enough argument, so I need you to help figure out how to get her back here without Nurse Darkheart catching us."
"Is Darkheart her given name?" Elizabeth laughed when Ann rolled her eyes. "I think I can do that." Elizabeth said, eagar for a distraction that would be useful and bring joy to Ann. "Wait here. I'll be back in a minute."
"Like I can go anywhere," Ann remarked.
Elizabeth laughed, "Right."
She stepped outside the door into the hallway. The nurses' station was at the opposite end. They could see the room, but would need to be specifically looking. Elizabeth eyed the door about ten feet from room 6. She felt sure it opened into the main hallway where she and Henry had been sitting earlier. Approaching it cautiously, it didn't appear to have any kind of alarm on it. She carefully opened it and peered out. She had been correct. Her plan was to just use that door, but she quickly realized that it was locked from the other side.
Elizabeth looked around for something to keep the door from locking and smiled broadly when she spied a small table with comment cards. "We value your opinion" was printed across the top. "Your under age policy is stupid. That's my opinion, but thanks for putting these in a handy spot," Elizabeth murmured as she folded a couple cards up, pushed the door open, stepped into the main hallway and placed the cards over the deadlatch so that it wouldn't catch.
Looking around, Elizabeth hurried to the waiting room, where she found Beth with her head down coloring. "Beth, Grandma Ann wants to see you. Do you think you're ready?"
Beth looked up, her eyes red rimmed and puffy. "The nurse said I couldn't go back because I'm too young and I don't get to see Grandma."
"Come with me." Beth stood, leaving her coloring behind. "Is that for Grandma?". Beth nodded. "Take it with you.". They stepped out into the hallway. "I know that we tell you to follow the rules, and you should. But, occasionally you'll run across a rule that is just plain dumb. I'm sure they have the no kids rule because kids are loud or snotty or they touch things or whatever, but Grandma Ann wants to see you and you want to see her, so I'm breaking the rule to make that happen. I know I'm breaking it and I know I might get in trouble and whatever my punishment is, I won't complain."
Beth grinned. "I don't get permission to be sneaky very often."
Elizabeth shot her a look. "That's because you aren't supposed to be sneaky."
Beth smiled. "Okay, Beth. I'm going to step through and make sure no one is around and then I'll get you and we walk quick like to Grandma's room. Got it?"
Beth nodded. "I was born for this mission." Elizabeth laughed and shook her head.
She stepped into the ICU and looked both ways. No one was around and the nurses' station was abandoned. Elizabeth pulled the door the rest of the way open and motioned for Beth to come. The moved quickly to room 6 and Elizabeth slid the door open to find Nurse Darkheart taking Ann's vitals.
Elizabeth was startled and turned to shield Beth from view only to find Beth had disappeared. Elizabeth did her best to mask her shock and went to Ann's bedside. Ann looked a little stunned too since she knew that Beth was about somewhere. The nurse finished and left the room. Elizabeth stepped out into the hall and looked up and down the hall for Beth. She slipped out of the room next door and grinned. "I am good at being sneaky."
"Just like when you only wanted to wear jumpers to school and you hid your pants under your mattress. That wasn't so sneaky." Elizabeth teased and Beth turned bright red.
"How did you know?" she asked.
"You wadded them up and there was a big lump in the middle of the mattress. Geez kid! I'm not dumb, Elizabeth said, ushering her into the room. Beth giggled and ran over to Ann's bedside. Elizabeth stayed back, leaning against the door watching for anyone who might come down the hall. She pulled the curtain so that Ann's bed wasn't visible from the hall.
"Elizabeth helped me be sneaky and come back here. We broke the rule because it was dumb. I made you a picture."
Ann laughed softly. "I didn't much care for the rule myself. Tell me about your picture."
"This is you wearing all white in Heaven and here are all of the angels singing in the choir and here's St. Rose Duchesne. You are talking to her, telling her about the saint project I did for school. You'll do that won't you?"
"I'm sure there are a lot of people in Heaven, but if I happen to run into St. Rose, you can bet I will tell her all about your project.". Beth smiled happily.
It took a little effort, but Ann managed to shift herself to one side. "Come up and lay next to me would you?" Beth quickly climbed up and tucked herself into Ann's side. "Mary Elizabeth, I think you've grown since this summer. You are almost too big to curl up next to me. It's hard to believe that you were only this big when you were born." Ann cupped her hands together. "You could fit right in my hands with room to spare, but they wouldn't let us hold you right away. The only way we could touch you was to reach through a hole in your covered baby bed and stroke your tummy with our finger. Back then our fingers looked huge against your stomach.
"But not now, right Grandma? I'm a big girl." Beth smiled up at Ann.
"Now you are most definitely a big girl." Ann paused and then took a shaky breath. "You know I'm going to have to go soon."
Beth nodded in agreement saying, "I know, that damned cancer."
Ann laughed. "I think I need to mention to Grandpa the importance of using nice language. But anyway, I won't be far. I'll only be a prayer away. You can talk to me about anything, okay?"
"And it will be cheaper than a phone call." Beth added.
"That it will be. And I can listen anytime." Ann wrapped Beth up in a hug. "Try to be patient with the rest of your family. They aren't as accepting of this reality as you are. Show them lots of grace. Oh, and I need you to do me one more favor." Beth looked up at Ann. "The next time you see your mom, tell her that I love her very much. She isn't going to get to come back to see me and I want her to know that, okay.?"
"What if she doesn't believe me?" Beth asked.
"Elizabeth will have a letter that I wrote to give her too. Hopefully between the two of us, she will believe it. If not, we have to leave that in God's hands," Ann said. "I love you so much. I don't ever want you to forget that. You were one of the best surprises of my whole life!"
Beth beamed. "I love you too Grandma. And, when you see God, I would appreciate it if you let him know that I really do try to be good. Sometimes things just get away from me."
"God already knows your heart, but when I get there, I'd be happy to tell him again." Ann kissed her cheek. "I'm going to rest a while. Tell Grandpa that he needs to go home and rest a while too.
Beth hugged Ann and kissed her. "I'll miss you lots, but I'll pray every day and talk to you so I don't feel lonesome, okay?"
"I will be looking forward to it every day."
Elizabeth stepped forward wiping her eyes. "Beth, I think it's time to go and let Grandma rest."
Beth slipped off the bed and took the hand Elizabeth offered. "Elizabeth," Ann said. Elizabeth stepped over to the bed and Ann reached out. Elizabeth leaned in for the hug. "Take care of them for me, and let them take care of you." Elizabeth nodded, afraid that if she spoke, the sob she was holding back would escape. She kissed Ann's cheek and gave her a watery smile before leaving the room. She and Beth slipped out through the side door and came back into the waiting room.
Henry stood when he saw them and Beth raced into his arms. Her sobs erupted with such force that Henry staggered back and fell into the chair behind him. After a long while, Beth finally calmed down, and she looked at Henry. "I didn't cry Henry. I didn't let Grandma know how sad I was because I didn't want her to feel bad that she's going to die. I was brave."
Seeing Elizabeth and Beth walk in, Henry stood, but there was nothing that could prepare him for the look on Beth's face as she plowed into him. Her tears fell in sheets from her eyes and he couldn't do anything but just hold on to her. Out of sheer determination, Henry had willed himself not to cry all day long. Then she was on his lap, her heart breaking and he just couldn't do it any longer. Elizabeth's hand was on his back, her head pressed to his, and his tears fell. Beth made her proclamation and Henry looked up, finding the rest of the family all gathered close.
"Beth's right," Erin said, wiping her own tears. "Mom needs to know that it's okay to let go. She's hanging on for us." Erin rose and headed toward the door leading to the ICU.
Shane was by far the most stoic of the McCord clan and took initiative to be the organizer of things that needed to be done. At 17, he felt like he needed to be a man. Henry saw right through it, but had let him do his own thing up to this point. Now, Shane was on fringe of the group, wanting to be part of it, yet afraid of being part of it. As Erin left, Henry made eye contact with Shane. He saw the same pain in Shane's eyes that he felt in his own heart. He stood and deposited Beth in Patrick's lap. Henry walked up to Shane and put his hand on Shane's shoulder. Shane didn't immediately give in. Henry slid his hand over Shane's shoulder to the middle of his back and pulled the two of them together. Shane resolve crumbled under Henry's embrace. "She shouldn't have to suffer through this," he said. "It not fair."
"I know. It's not," Shane hugged Henry back and they stayed that way for a while, saying nothing, just wallowing in the middle of the despair in that moment. Erin returned and Shane took her place.
Erin sat down next to Patrick. "She's asleep. I just whispered to her and told her it was okay to let us go. That we have each other and would be fine."
"Mr. McCord," the nurse said, appearing in the doorway. Patrick edged Beth off his lap and followed the nurse. Henry moved to Erin and Elizabeth sat on the other side of Henry.
Beth stood in the middle of the room alone. Everyone was in their own world when she said, "She's gone," and climbed up on Henry's lap, resting her head in the crook of his neck.
Shane appeared in the waiting room. When they all looked up, he just dropped his head. It was an hour later when the McCords collected their things and made their way to a home that would never quite be the same again.