Safety Dance

Disclaimer: I do not own the rights to Batman, The Joker, or any related titles, plots, characters, settings, etc. These rights belong to their respective publishers. I do not own the rights to Twenty One Pilots or any of their music, from which we get the title of this chapter. I own only the original elements of this story, the writing and publishing of which make me no money.

Heathens

Bear's first sign of consciousness was the sudden understanding that she was moving. The second was her realization that a seatbelt was supporting her face - cutting across her cheek and up her temple - so there was a fair chance she was in a car. With that, the recollection of her previous night flooded back and Bear used the haze between sleep and wakefulness to explore the events without having to deal with them yet.

After she had gotten the text from Frost, Bear had called Maggie, who in turn had called the commissioner. Bear had thrown most of her stuff into a bag, reflecting that it was handy she had already come up with an 'essentials' list after her conversation with James Gordon. By the time Maggie called back, Bear was pacing back and forth in front of her door, single bag placed neatly nearby.

Maggie had told offered to get Bear and they would meet James, but Bear refused immediately. "Tell James to start collaborating with Witness Protection. My family is in danger and I would feel a lot more secure about their chances if he was helping extract them." That had caused another round of phone tag, but Maggie told her James had agreed.

When Bear had thrown herself into the car, Maggie had filled her in on the plan while she drove in circles around Gotham City to make sure they hadn't picked up a tail. "I'm surprised there isn't anyone following us," she had confided to Bear.

"Don't be," Bear told her. "He never likes my apartment to be watched while he's there, so he dismisses his men. I think he meant to be there longer, but he was called away abruptly. Now, where are we going?"

Maggie's jaw had set into a grim line. "Somewhere the Joker won't expect, and that's the important thing."

"That's also not an answer," Bear reminded.

"Let's just say that, for all his brilliance, the Joker never remembers that other people can do things he doesn't expect. That's how you escaped his facility and it's how we're going to get you away from him now." Bear tried to protest again, but Maggie had shaken her head firmly. "That's all I can tell you right now. There's no knowing for sure that you haven't been bugged and we don't want to give anyone a head's up about our plan."

After a few moments of silence, Maggie had glanced over at Bear and given a kind smile. "Bear, you look like you're going to pass out. Why don't you put your seat back and try to sleep? It's going to take a while to get where we're going."

Bear wanted to argue, but it was getting close to midnight and she had been exhausted, so she leaned back and had quickly fallen asleep. It was a change in the road that woke her up now. They seemed to have moved from a smoothly paved road onto one that was much bouncier. Bear opened her eyes, squinting at what was revealed by the headlights.

They were driving toward a mansion. Where most large houses were set in the middle of rolling, manicured fields, Bear could tell that no one would see this one until they were pulling up to the door. Nearby brush, vines, and even trees had been encouraged to grow every closer to the house - close enough that the pale, rough-hewn stones of the walls were almost completely obscured by greenery.

Bear was reasonably sure Maggie was going to plow through the humble, unadorned door they were driving toward, but at the last second, she veered to the left and into a small, well-camouflaged garage. Once there, she turned off the car, beckoned for Bear to follow her, grabbed Bear's bag, and started for the door.

Still fighting off the grogginess that comes from having somewhere between two hours and not enough sleep, Bear rushed after her. Maggie was studying the door when Bear finally caught up, then she reached down to tap carefully next to the bottom set of hinges. Four precise raps later, the door swung open to show a surprised-looking woman dressed in worn, dirt-encrusted clothes, red hair piled elegantly atop her head.

"M-" she started, but Maggie cut her off with a sharp gesture.

"Possible bug," she said, nodding toward Bear, who was looking back and forth between the two while she tried to figure out what was going on. The woman nodded understandingly and motioned for them to step inside.

They followed the woman down a short hallway toward the room at its other end. Bear spent the first bit of the walk studying the redhead. It was nearly three in the morning, but she was fully dressed, fully awake, and seemed to have been in the middle of something when they arrived. Either she's a serious night owl or she doesn't sleep-

Bear's thoughts were cut off abruptly as they walked into the other room. It was immense to the point of being cavernous and seemed majorly dominated by an assortment of plant life. Vines wrapped around every vertical surface and various greenery sprawled across the horizontal ones. Some of the vines appeared to have wrapped up around the lights, some of which were completely covered by leaves. As a result, the light that filtered down was dappled, some green while the clear sources beamed out the rich yellow of solar-esque grow lights.

In looking so curiously around the room, Bear found that not all of it was filled with plants. One corner, partially tucked away under a balcony, was filled with workout equipment and a mat set up for sparring. There was a woman over there as well, delivering what would probably have been a very painful kick to a standing punching bag before turning around. Her brown hair bounced behind her as she strode smoothly over to them in simple black workout gear. "M-"

Once more, Maggie cut off someone attempting to say her name. "Possible bug," she warned, gesturing at Bear. The woman smiled, reached into one of the many pockets in her deceptively tight-fitting pants, and pulled out a small device that looked sort of like a lighter. She flicked it smoothly, holding it out in Bear's direction, and waited. A few seconds later, Bear heard a small pop! and something buried in her hair made a sizzling noise.

Naturally, Bear yelped and began digging at her hair, but the brunette woman stepped forward, gently pushed Bear's hands out of the way, and began carefully extracting the crackling thing from behind her ear. She hadn't noticed earlier, but now that she stood so close, Bear could see that the woman was as pretty as the redhead, though it wasn't immediately noticeable under the flush from her recent workout.

Finally, the woman pulled a small, dark clip from Bear's hair, dropped it casually on the floor, and stomped on it. After a few confirmation treads, she crouched to paw through the remains of the device. "A bug," she said softly, voice smooth and silky. "You were right, Maggie."

Maggie looked anything but happy about the information. "Is it a tracker, too?"

"No. Have you said anything that would lead them here?" she asked, staring up at Maggie and Bear with piercing green eyes. As Bear shuddered with the thought that they looked similar to the Joker's eyes, Maggie shook her head. "We are safe, then."

She smoothly rose to her feet while Maggie turned to Bear. "I'm sure he knows that you're gone by now. I'll call James and make sure your family is safe."

Bear nodded and Maggie drew back down the short hallway slightly. "What is all this about, Selina?" an unfamiliar voice asked.

Bear turned enough to see the redhead in her peripheral vision. She was the one who had spoken, voice husky and slightly hoarse where the other woman - Selina - had spoken much more smoothly.

Bear heard that smooth voice once more as Selina answered, "We already decided we would help her if we needed to."

"But we didn't expect her this soon," the redhead argued.

"What do you expect, Pamela? She probably isn't the one who determined the timeline."

"But still-"

"Sorry to inconvenience you in the flight for my life," Bear said acerbically. "It was a choice between getting out now or being stuck with that whack job until he killed me. I'm sure if you told Maggie that you don't want me here, she'll help me find somewhere else."

"There is nowhere else," Selina disagreed.

"We are… uniquely… qualified to help someone like you," the other woman - Pamela - pitched in reluctantly.

"How?" Bear asked, unable to fight her suspicion. How were these women going to fight off the Joker when an entire police force was unable to do it?

The women exchanged glances. "We'll explain, but first, can you tell us what happened that you had to come here now?"

Bear stared into Selina's green eyes, wanting to trust the woman but unable to push down the suspicion of her recent life. "I don't know if that's a good idea. I don't know either of you and Maggie isn't here right now."

"Well, I'm Selina," the brunette introduced, somewhat needlessly.

"And I'm Ivy," the redhead said.

Bear frowned. "I thought it was Pamela."

Ivy winced. "Only when someone is mad at me."

"You were telling us about last night?" Selina prompted politely.

Bear sighed, but told them the story, never mentioning the Joker's name directly. Still, when she was done, Selina hissed out a curse. "Look, Ivy, she's covered in bruises!"

"I noticed," Ivy said dryly. "I think I have something for them." She swayed across the room and began rummaging through a cabinet filled with small, unlabeled jars. After snapping on a pair of gloves, she came back across the room and began dabbing a rose-scented balm on the bruises across Bear's throat, arms, and hand.

Ivy spoke softly as she worked. "You're safe here, you know. You're among friends. We all understand what it's like to be hunted by… obsessive admirers."

Bear didn't doubt that. No doubt the curvy, polished redhead had multiple admirers who wouldn't take no for an answer. And with the way Selina walked and the weight of her green-eyed stare, she probably hadn't escaped that kind of attention, either.

Before she could ask about how they intended to stave off the Joker, Maggie strode back in the room, looking stressed, but smiling. "Your family is safe," she said in greeting. It was the best thing Bear had ever been told. "They made it into witness protection about an hour ago."

"And the- he can't get into wherever he took them?" Bear asked.

Selina gave a short, mirthless laugh. "Oh, he could. There's nowhere the Joker couldn't get into if he wanted. The only question is if he wants to."

Ivy nodded. "By putting them in witness protection, the idea is to make it hard enough for him to get to them that it just wouldn't be worth it."

It wasn't exactly comforting, but it was more believable than a sudden, magical answer to all of her problems, so Bear took heart in the explanation.

"I do need to leave, though," Maggie added. "In case someone is tracking the car, they'll have a harder time finding you. Are you okay staying here?"

"I guess, but what's the plan, exactly?"

Maggie glanced behind her at the other two women. "We can explain it to her," Ivy offered.

Maggie smiled at her gratefully and before Bear could protest, Selina walked up to the soon-departing woman and hugged her. "It was great to see you again, Mags. Can you come hang out with us soon?"

"You are allowed to visit when there aren't active crises and death threats, you know," Ivy reminded, obviously smiling.

"I know, I know," Maggie agreed. "I'll be in touch soon. Thank you again, so much. Bear's important to me."

"Are you sure you don't want to stay long enough to see… You know?" Ivy asked.

"We can go get her," Selina offered.

Bear frowned. Up to this point, she hadn't even been aware there was a third member of this household. Before she could dwell on it overly much, Maggie was pulling her into a hug. "Take care of yourself, Baroness. You're going to get out of this, I promise."

"Thank you, Maggie. I can never thank you enough for everything you've done for me," Bear said sincerely, all hints of frustration gone.

"It was my pleasure, Bear. Take care of yourself." With that, and a wave to Ivy and Selina, Maggie was gone.

Bear turned to the other two women. "So what's going on? No offense, but I don't think you two are going to be able to take on the Joker. Not and survive."

Ivy smirked. "I can see why you would think that, but we have a secret weapon."

"Something the Joker doesn't expect," Selina agreed. "We're going to win, and with any luck, the Joker will be gone for good."

"What's the secret weapon?" Bear asked, ready to see some kind of proof of the Joker's end.

"I'll wake her," Selina offered and disappeared up the staircase toward the second floor.

"Do you need anything?" Ivy asked suddenly in the silence. "I can get you some tea, or find a place for you to sleep…"

"No, thank you. I'm fine," Bear replied, slightly surprised that it was true. It was nearly six in the morning, the sun would rise soon, and she had gotten a few hours of car sleep, but the adrenaline was keeping her going now. "Why did you decide to help me?" she asked. Ivy looked taken aback and Bear explained, "This is a lot of trouble, a lot of danger, for someone you don't know. What are you getting from helping me?"

Ivy seemed to consider this. "Well, Selina was all for helping you from the start. She has… an interest in Batman, and the Joker is by far his most dangerous enemy. Working to protect you seems like the most direct way to end him and thus protect the Bat."

Bear nodded, trying to to let her surprise show. "And you? Why are you doing this?"

"I hate the Joker," Ivy revealed, heat in her voice for the first time since Bear had met her. "I think his death will bring healing and protection for many. If you are to be included in that, so much the better."

"Thank you," Bear said awkwardly.

They stood in silence for another few minutes, Ivy strolling around to check on her plants. Bear was almost falling into a trance as the other woman stroked leaves and murmured reassurances to the various plants, but her attention was soon drawn by the reappearance of Selina.

In her oddly-gliding gait, Selina descended the staircase, followed by an unfamiliar woman. White-blonde hair flowed down her back in waves and her blue eyes observed Bear sharply from behind wire-framed glasses. She was clad in a simple white blouse and jeans, bare feet silent on the floor when she reached the ground level and approached behind Selina.

"Bear," Selina started, "This is Harleen, Harley for short. She's going to help us with your problem."

In a flash, Bear's mind overlaid the image of Harley Quinn - no doubt remembered from some long-ago newsreel - over the petite woman. She gaped. "You're Harley Quinn! And if you're her, then…" she glanced at the other two, remembering bits of new articles and scraps of office conversation. "You must be Poison Ivy, and I would bet that makes you Catwoman!"

Bear looked to each of the respective women in turn, who glanced at each other bracingly before looking back to Bear. "Yes," Ivy confirmed eventually. "Those are the names we're known by, but we're working toward something new now."

Harley smiled hesitantly. "We're gonna kill the Joker."

"But- But why?" Bear asked incredulously. "You got out. You got away. Why risk coming back?"

"Did he torture you?" Harley asked. The question was abrupt, but there was a sincere concern in her blue eyes.

Bear nodded.

"Me too, hon. Me too." She shook her head and gulped before speaking again. "I can't let him get away with that again. I'm real sorry ya went through all of that, but I'm gonna take care of it once and for all. I wasn't here when the shit hit the fan the second time, but I'm coming back with a mop."

"He was supposed to come get me this morning. He was going to make me move in with him," Bear admitted. "I'm sure, with the bug, he knows that I'm gone."

"Let me handle that," Harley assured.

"He's probably going to call," Ivy added.

Bear grimaced. "I don't think so. Why would he want to tip his hand by telling us he knows I'm gone?"

All three women laughed. "Trust me, honey," Harley said, still chuckling. "He's gonna call. This has Mista J written all over it."

"Until then, let's talk about the plan," Selina suggested. "After we get this call from the Joker, we're going to go meet him. You'll stay here an hour or two after we leave, then you'll go get in the specially-rented car. It was rented under a false name, so it shouldn't be traced to you or us. When you get into it, drive until you're out of state. We've programmed an address into the GPS already. That will be the place where you'll meet up with witness protection and they'll get you to your family. Understand?"

Feeling a little dazed, Bear nodded. It sounded like a fairly foolproof plan, but so little had gone right lately for her, especially if the Joker was involved...

Bear's phone rang softly and she pulled it from her pocket with shaking fingers. Harley took it gently from her and set it on the floor, sitting cross-legged in front of it. The others joined her as she accepted the phone call and immediately activated the speakerphone feature.

After a brief pause, the Joker's deranged voice floated through the still air, seeming utterly alien in a place filled with so much life. "Oh, Teddy Bear… I really hate when my toys wander off. I'm not gonna let ya go that easily. I'm comin' for you. Be ready."

Harley leaned in and the change into her Harley Quinn persona was so complete that it took Bear a moment to process. Her eyes widened just a tad too far and her mouth stretched into a smile that nearly rivaled the Joker's. "Oh, Mista J… Guess who's back?" Her voice kept the sickly sweet affectation, but added a hint of poutiness. "Your Teddy Bear is gone, I took care of that. She was… easy."

Even as she gave a rich, rolling siren's laugh, she patted Bear's knee, comforting her about her own hypothetical death. Meanwhile, the surprise emanating from the Joker was palpable, even through the phone, but Harley's short speech seemed to have given him time to adjust.

"Why, my little Harley Quinn. I haveta say, when I pictured you… heh, resurfacing, it wasn't quite in this sense. We'll set up a meeting. There are some things I wanna discuss with ya: mostly, not touching my fucking toys."

Bear winced back at the rage in his voice, but Harley seemed unconcerned - eager, even - as she purred, "Yeah, Mista J? You gonna try an' hurt me?" She gave another laugh when he growled out an affirmative. "Good. Tell ya what: I'll meetcha at the Crown. We can reminisce over all of our good times... " She trailed off before cracking, "That should take up a solid minute."

The Joker snarled, "Ooh, babydoll. You'd better be ready. Daddy's coming home and he's not happy. I'll be at the Crown in an hour."

"I'll see ya then," Harley promised breathily before disconnecting the call.

"Are you crazy?" Bear asked as soon as it ended. "This place is at least two hours from Gotham and you have to be planning something to keep from getting killed by him."

Selina chuckled. "Bear, villains don't exactly work on schedules. When the Joker said 'an hour', we can count on it not being an hour."

"My guess is that he's either there, close by, or hours away," Ivy chimed in. "To get there on time would be asking to walk into an ambush or have one set up outside the building in case you did manage to leave alive."

"We won't be going in until we've got everything set up and ready to go," Harley summarized. "Girls, I'm going to get dressed in my old costume."

"I'll make some phone calls," Selina volunteered. At Bear's questioning glance, she explained, "We've decided to act on a temporary truce with Batman and the GCPD. They're letting us help to increase their chances of taking the Joker alive."

"I thought the plan was to kill him?" Bear asked.

"Of course it is," Ivy said with a wicked wink. "As soon as I've changed into my own fighting gear, I'm going to whip up a few surprises for our side."

Following their instructions, Bear had found the rented car in a tunnel formed from carefully-placed vines and began following the GPS. It was fortunate the feature was enabled, as she spent most of the drive bouncing between a sleep-deprived haze of weariness and the adrenaline of true fear, mixed with visions of the three heroic villains setting out: Catwoman - claws sharp and at the ready, Poison Ivy - vines curling menacingly up and down her limbs, and Harley Quinn - gleefully spinning her iconic, over-sized mallet.

Finally, Bear ended up in front of a nondescript, strip-mall-esque building. When she found the courage to enter, she found herself in a small room with her family and several government employees, identified by the IDs clipped neatly to their lapels.

She only had a moment to see this before she was wrapped up in a hug from Victoria. "Shh… It's okay, Baroness. You made it. You're safe."

For the first time in far too long, Bear could agree.

Author's Note - That's all I've got for you! I warned you back in Chapter One that I'm not much of a DC fan, so I thought it would be appropriate to leave Harley and the Joker fighting as they tend to. As for not giving a conclusive answer on the outcome, you decide. Does Harley kill the Joker? Does he kill her? Do they forgive each other and hunt down Bear and her family? Your choice.

Whatever you decide, thanks for reading this twisted little story. You guys are an incredible, unbelievable, unexpected fan base, and it's been a real thrill writing for you! Hope you all enjoyed and may you find Bear's peace, Harley's zeal, or the Joker's intensity, whichever best suits you. Pick your poison.