Gundam Wing

Chapter 10

Luli Chang

Author's note and disclaimer: I need this distraction. I've taken the death of Robin Williams a little harder than I probably should. It probably has something to do with the fact that I've lost a lot of people in the last two years and refuse to actually deal with any of it. SO be prepared this chapter might not go well, I like drag my OCs down with me. I'm warning you guys do not listen to anything sad while reading this one because there is no doubt in my mind that I'll be listening to really sad music to this one.

At 11:30 P.M.: I'll come back and edit this part to let you guys know if this is going to be a bad chapter.

At 12:17 A.M.: Yea it's bad, I'm not even done with it and the feels just keep coming. I'm not crying yet, but it'll come.

At 1:15 A.M.: I REGRET NOTHING.

I do not own Gundam Wing.

Wufei's phone rang, for a minute he let it go, wanting to finish writing out an email to Heero about the latest case. Picking up the phone he wasn't able to get a word in because of Quatre on the other end was talking so urgently. The blonde was practically screaming, but he wasn't angry, he was panicking. There were doctors in the background and a woman screaming. His blood froze, his mind went blank and for a second he thought he might throw up. Wufei could never forget the blood curdling scream, Himeno used to wail like that in her nightmares. The baby was his only thought. He hung up on Quatre, already knowing which hospital she was at.

As soon as he ran out of his office, he saw Duo hanging out in the hallway with a female agent, who probably didn't know that he was gay. Duo caught the panicked and worried expression in Wufei's eyes and started following him out of the building. The braided pilot demanded that he drove; he was able to think clearer than his friend at the moment. The Chinese man didn't mind, he needed answers. Finding Sally's number in his mobile within seconds, her phone rang forever—even though it only made it to its third chime.

"Wufei—"

The Nataku pilot interrupted Sally, shouting into the receiver. "What the hell is going on? Is Himeno in labor?" Duo muttered something about Himeno only being seven months pregnant, but Wufei wasn't paying attention to him right now. "Sally tell me what the fuck is going on with my wife!"

Sally's voice was calm, quiet and apologetic. "It doesn't look good Wufei. And to be quiet honest I don't know if she's in labor or if she's…" The blonde doctor needed to pause, Wufei could hear her choking back tears, "Himeno could be losing the baby."

Wufei was furious. Not at Himeno or at Sally. He was furious because he didn't know what was going on, "How! Himeno just had a check-up last week! That idiot doctor said everyone was healthy! Everything was fine."

"I know Wufei, I know. Himeno gives me a copy of every doctor visit every time she goes." Sally stopped; a man was talking to her, and "Wufei I need to go. Himeno is calling for me. I'll see you when you get here, okay?"

Wufei threw his phone to the floor of the car and covered his face with his hands, trying to rub the evidence of fear from his face. Duo decided to keep his mouth shut, trying to talk to Wufei while he was like this was like poking a King Cobra while it slept. He just focused on driving through the lights as fast as he could without drawing the attention of the police.

Duo hadn't stopped the car when Wufei jumped out of his seat and bolted inside the hospital. Several nurses yelled for him to stop running, but he didn't hear them. He just continued yelling for Quatre, keeping an eye out for anyone he knew. Finally, he saw Quatre and Sally standing with a doctor. He stepped back and jogged towards them, ready to jump down anyone's throat.

"Where is she?"

"Wufei calm down." Quatre tried to level his friend; he grabbed him by the shoulders. Relieved to see that Duo, Heero and Trowa showed up when they did—he wasn't sure if he would be able to contain Wufei for much longer.

"No! Where is Himeno? Where is my wife, god dammit?" Wufei shouted, "What's happening to our child?"

"Please, sir, calm down and I will explain everything." The doctor coed calmly, raising his hands to stop Wufei from going into Himeno's room. "Himeno is fine."

Wufei was calmer, but still fuming. "What about the baby?" The boys stood behind their comrade, holding their breath—readying themselves just in case Wufei finally lost his patience. Sally and Quatre looked like they were close to tears, already knowing the prognosis.

"I'm so sorry, sir, but the baby is dead." The doctor paused and took in Wufei's face. The color ran from his face, "from what we can tell from the ultra sound is that the umbilical cord is wrapped around her throat."

Her. Her throat. His daughter. Their daughter. Wufei sunk to his knees, grief all-consuming. The doctor kneeled down and squeezed the agent's shoulder, informing him of the worst thing he could have imagined. Himeno still needed to go through labor in order to get the baby out. Wufei was on the verge of tears. Would Himeno even have the strength to go through it? She had gone through so much already and now this. Could his wife not experience happiness at all? Their child was going to bring happiness into their life, but now it seemed impossible.

Heero and Trowa helped Wufei to his feet and walked him to Himeno's room, but they didn't go in with him. They would stay for however long, but the four pilots decided to give the couple some much needed room.

Inside, Wufei stood there for a moment, not knowing what to do. He couldn't sit next to her; he felt he needed to be closer. He towered over her for a few minutes until he perched himself on his knees. Wufei clutched her hand in his left, brought it to his cheek and kissed every knuckle; all while his right hand caressed the side of Himeno's face. Her dark eyes fluttered open, his breathing hitched when she regained her senses. She glanced over at him and quickly turned her head away. He stood, while she curled into herself holding her stomach tightly, the tears she thought were finally done started. For a second, Wufei didn't know what to do, he almost went outside to get Duo, but he decided against it. Himeno would hate him forever if he let anyone else see her like this—she was too prideful.

So instead he shed himself of his Preventers jacket and tie and crawled into bed with her. Wufei wrapped an arm underneath her breasts while the other crossed over her chest—his head resting against the back of her neck and with every heavy sob from his wife his grip tightened around her. Himeno finally caved and wiggled herself out of Wufei's hold, turned towards him and buried her face in his shirt. He hooked his arms underneath her armpits, hugging her tightly while she cried loudly into his chest. The realization of their loss finally hit him and once the tears started they didn't stop. They dampened Himeno's hair, his body shook with the silent sobs and his grip around his darling wife became tighter. Himeno's arms had enveloped around his back, her nails digging into his skin, but he didn't mind it because he couldn't feel it.

The doctor and Sally woke them up an hour later. Wufei got out of the bed, rubbing his tired eyes, but Himeno didn't move. She stayed where she was, but protecting her baby with her arms.

"We need to induce your labor Mrs. Chang." The doctor said coldly—that bothered Himeno so much. She glared death daggers up at the doctor, warning him to step away or else he might regret it.

Sally took that as her cue to step in, she leaner over to Himeno and whispered, "Himeno the baby can't stay in there. She needs to come out or you'll die."

"Himeno please…" Wufei's voice was a cracked whisper.

Himeno's eyes softened seeing her husband looking so saddened, she nodded her head and apologized to the doctor.

Being only 29 weeks pregnant, the baby weighed two and half pounds and the nurse measured her at 15 inches. Himeno was too emotional and tired to look at her still-born daughter, but Wufei promised his wife that she was beautiful. The elderly nurse said that they give the parents of a stillborn a box with a hat that matches the baby's gender, some booties, a foot print and a picture of the baby cleaned up. The elderly nurse reassured them both that they could always look back, whenever they wanted, to see what their daughter looked like. They also needed the baby's name for the birth and death certificate. Himeno tried to control her sobbing, but she ended up burying her head in the pillow. Three days ago they had agreed on a name for both genders because they were idiots and didn't want to know the sex of the baby until he or she was born. Luli Chang was born and died on Thursday at three in the afternoon.

Himeno stayed in the hospital the next day, the doctors wanted to be sure that nothing else would go wrong. The doctor tried to speak to Himeno about PPD (post-partum depression) and other psychological issues that might pop up, but she wasn't listening. She wasn't there, not mentally—not emotionally. Himeno was still in shock that her baby was gone, that the baby bump that was still present was empty. Wufei took in everything the doctor told him, accepted the pamphlets the nurses gave him and had the number of a therapist if they both needed it.

Walking into their home was difficult. Himeno used to open the front door and only see the light and possibility of a little one running towards her mother to greet her. Now she just saw gray, no hope.

She had disappeared when Wufei walked into the house with the mail and he freaked out. He started running around the house, searching for her, until he found her the baby's room. She was standing in front of the crib, running her hand over the fox printed blanket. He walked up behind her, calling her name gently. She turned around, with fresh tears flowing down her cheeks. Wufei embraced her, his chin resting on top of her head while she cried.

After Wufei guided her out of the room, she wanted him to lock the door and hide the key.

"Are you sure, Himeno?" He asked holding the key in his hand.

She nodded stiffly, "yes. Just until I know I can handle it."

"Okay. Just let me know whenever that is and I'll unlock it for you." Wufei said tucking away the key into his jacket's pocket. "Come on, the doctor ordered you to be in bed rest for at least three weeks."

"I would rather get shot than be in bed for three weeks." Himeno groggily said as she followed Wufei to their bedroom.

"Don't worry. I won't let you get bored. I'll stay here and make sure you don't die of boredom. I'm sure the others will too." Wufei remarked.

"What about work?" Himeno inquired.

"I told Une that we'll both be out for a while and she knows why." Wufei felt Himeno's body go limp in his arm; he looked to her and saw the dread in her eyes. "Himeno, she and the others are the only ones that know. They know to keep the circle small."

Himeno was still nervous. All she could hear were the voices of the older woman at work that were jealous of her. She was young, beautiful and capable with a rich background married to a man that would lay down his life for her. And then there were the younger agents, the ones that admired her. No doubt they would back them and tell the old birds to back off. Strangely, Himeno found comfort in that.

Author's note: I told you guys I like to write tragedies! I'm such a sadist when it comes to these sorts of things! I'm a terrible human being! On that note, I have overwhelmed my emotion quota for the year. Leave your review (AKA your tears).