Author's PenName: Dysis Nyx
Author's Note: -clears throat- I…uh….I apologize for delaying on this for a butt load of long time. The whole college thing kicked my butt and all. I vow though that I will be regular and constant with these updates till the last and final chapter of this story! Again, and sorry for the delay. -gives cookie- Here my peace offering. -cookie has a bite out of it- Sorry, I like cookies too.
Disclaimer: I do not own the story, movie, or characters of the movie or history of "Troy".
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Briseis looked from Achilles to the corpse laying motionless next to her as she seemed to be having a hard time grasping all of this, "I thought he was your cousin?"
Still holding her stare, Achilles would have laughed, but not now, "Yes, he was. Patroclus, was my cousin and the dearest soul in my life."
Now the girl seemed scared, skittish…and utterly disgusted, "He was in love with you."
The audacity of her pronouncing that and looking upon Patroclus with disgust outraged Achilles. If she had not backed away, he would have struck her with all the pain in his body. Not with his heart, because no pain lingered there. Only hate controlled his beating center.
Once she hit the wall, Briseis muttered, "Did you love him?"
The look he gave her caused her to run.
He did not know from what she ran. Was it the truth? Was it from him and his anger?
At this point, he did not care.
Sinking to his knees, Achilles tried so hard to hold back the beast that was calling for blood inside him. There was so much rage and so much anguish. He was living in Hades' torture. Damned for life…
A roar so loud and so pained erupted from the mortal god's throat as he begged with the heavens to relieve him of this pain.
A gentle wind caressed Achilles' face as he opened his eyes to see Patroclus crouching in front of him.
"Why are you doing this to yourself, cousin? Live, Achilles, and stop this torture." the spirit pleaded with him.
When he reached out to touch him, Patroclus flinched away, "I already told you. We cannot touch."
Slamming his fist into the ground, Achilles roared again as tears now burned so strong in his eyes, that Achilles could not hold them back. His pain was too great and the hurt was so constant. His voice edged on the brink of breaking as he snarled, "Then why return to me? To mock me? To taunt me? I cannot take this. You are a spirit from Hell!"
His blazed by the end of his anger. Although remorse coursed through Achilles as he saw the pain flash in Patroclus' eyes at the last statement.
Only silence passed between them at that point.
Finally, Patroclus rose to his feet and walked past Achilles, "I am sorry. If you want me gone, then I will not stay."
Achilles arose to his feet, "Patroclus! No! I-" he cut off his words. Achilles to weaken himself to say that. He would not make himself weak. He would not bow before someone who was not even alive.
Patroclus turned around and looked at him, "That's what killed me more than Hector's final blow." his eyes met with Achilles' "It was always your damned pride, Achilles, that killed me."
Before Achilles could say anything, Briseis yelped from her spot near the wall, "A spirit…"
Achilles breathed out slowly and nodded, "Yes, Trojan slave, Patroclus still lingers here in this world. He haunts me more than he did when he was alive."
Her steps took her to him immediately. Briseis was gripping at him desperately, "Let me help you, Achilles! Please! If you let me in I can save you from yourself…" she dropped her voice to just above a frantic whisper, "…from him."
Achilles ripped out of her grip and stalked across this temple turned tomb. He roared as it paced about it, "Damn all of you to the River Styx! What do you want of me? Both of you require a price I cannot afford to pay! I cannot, nay! I will not open such vulnerability only to be killed in the end because the price I paid was such a foolish-"
He stopped when he caught Patroclus' ghost white face staring at him with an agry face covering up the tears in his eyes. For the first time, Achilles saw past himself and his own damned pride and arrogance. For the first time…he saw what truly lay in Patroclus' eyes…he saw the heartbreak…the confusion…the dying…
He dropped to his knees and buried his face in his hands as he trembled with anger. This time it wasn't the kings, it wasn't Hector, it wasn't the Fates or the gods.
It was himself.
Right now, Achilles hated himself.
He stood up slowly and skulked over to Patroclus' body. He laid his hands on the table and hung his head. Briseis wanted to reach out to him. She wanted to touch him.
His voice was low and ominous, "My life is nothing. I am a soldier. It was and is my sole purpose for being. I live to serve one man and shed the blood of everyone else. Patroclus was more than that. He was life. He was hope. Upon his true birth, he showed me a new side to men. Not all of us were hateful, murderous creatures. Not all people were liars and deceivers. He was all that was good." his back shook and tensed in anger, "Where I had sinned, he had saved. In only a moment I saw the truth of what he was. Only beauty flowed in his blood. I would take his place in this tomb. Patroclus did not deserve what was issued to him, Briseis. He deserved to love, to laugh, to…" he choked on the word, "…live."
Briseis cried, because she knew now she would never be what Patroclus was to him. So this was what love was. It broke her heart to give him up…but then again…she never really had him. She started to walk towards him, but stop when Patroclus' spirit beat her to it. He stood beside Achilles reaching his hand out but stopping himself. His words were only meant for Achilles, but Briseis still listened, "Achilles, "I was never as good as you thought. I have sins carved in my skin just as you do. I did not die in some great cause. I did not die for the Greeks or for some king. I died for you. I died trying to prove to you that I was good enough for all you-"
Achilles pounded his fist, "Damn it! That is not wanted I wanted for you, Patroclus."
Sighing, Patroclus asked, "Then why did you bring me?"
Achilles growled, "Do you not fear me, Patroclus?"
That made a bittersweet smile cross Patroclus' face, "I am dead, Achilles, what have I to fear from you?" before Achilles could answer Patroclus continued, "She is gone. She left just a few moments ago."
Achilles stalked off to another part of the temple. The air was thick and musky in there. It choked Achilles like a collar. He paced about growling and muttering the entire time. He began to actually form words with his tirade.
Patroclus watched his diatribe with a heavy heart. It was clear the emotion he could invoke in Achilles was pain and anger. It would have been better off if he had never come under his tutelage. He hung his head low and murmured, "I am sorry I ever loved you..."
Achilles stopped his golden head slowly turned to face Patroclus, "What did you just say, cousin?"
Patroclus looked up and repeated, "I am sorry I ever loved you, Achilles."
Before Achilles could reach him, Patroclus disappeared like a fading memory you just can't get your mind around. He stood there alone in the temple calling out his name on a roar. Be damned the gods for ever cursing him with their envious hatred. Be damned himself for never being able to let go of his ill-fated arrogance.
Footsteps.
Achilles looked to see Eudorus standing there. The man had only worry on his face as he watched the turmoil. Arising to his feet, Achilles wipe all emotions from his face and stalked over to the body he began cleansing Patroclus' corpse. His voice was back to his normal emotionless demanding tone, "After I prepare the body, we will burn him and I promise I will shed Hector's blood. Do you understand, Eudorus?"
Daring to take another step, Eudorus asked, "Will you then have what you seek, my lord? Will Hector's death really appease you for the loss of your cousin? I knew Patroclus, too. He was a good lad. Full of spirit, potential. The men-your men, Achilles, they, too mourn the boy's loss. Most of all, we mourn the loss of our leader's livelihood. We all know that you die with the boy." he bowed respectfully, "Let me know if there is anything I can do, my lord."
Achilles' voice called out to Eudorus as he left, "Eudorus!"
The man stopped, "Yes, my lord?"
Achilles looked up at him thru his pain-coated eyes, "Help me prepare him."
Eudorus nodded.
It would have been a simple request for anyone who wasn't Achilles. Right now, Achilles was letting Eudorus in to help him. Achilles never asked for help. He was the great Achilles. He needed no one. Right now, he was far too angry and far too ravenous for blood, not to have some humanity in his heart. Eudorus knew what it took for Achilles, so he kept silent and obeyed whatever Achilles told him.
After they had almost finished, Achilles said, "I will do what is right by him, Eudorus."
Eudorus put his hand on Achilles' shoulder, "You already have, my lord."
Achilles let out a long breath, "No, there is still more I must do."
Eudorus looked at his leader through sympathetic sights, "You cannot bring him back, my lord."
Achilles growled through clenched teeth, "I'll be damned if I cannot."
to be continued