I know I haven't updated in a while, but I've been enjoying March Break ;3. Thank you for the reviews, they keep me going to post online. I did write some more though, so this story has about 6 more pages I can type out. But that's not the end of the story! I will end it sooner or later based on the feedback, but if the anime club at school is any representation, I think this story will be quite a bit longer. So anyway, enjoy this segment!
~ Belle
I was slightly worried by the way she kept her head down and didn't look at me. I knew it was her—I could see some of her pink hair underneath the shadow covering most of her face, caused by her hood on her cloak. I was also worried by the way she covered her face. Had she begun to doubt she was beautiful..?
I guess I helped form that doubt.
"Sakura." I said her name with recognition and she flinched like I'd attacked her. She wouldn't look at me either; I supposed the sight of me caused her pain as well.
I guess that's my fault too.
I inhaled slowly. I should leave. I couldn't help her. I was only causing her pain.
No. I have to do this.
She shook her head and kept looking down. I blurred from my current spot and appeared behind her.
*****
He was behind me, and I was waiting to see his chidori come through my heart.
It never did.
"Sakura…" he said my name again and my breathing hitched and broke. I felt a pinch in my hair and I realized my hood was slowly being pulled down.
Without warning I leapt away from him, causing my hood to fall anyway as I jumped into the forest ahead of my, leaping from branch to branch before landing once one the ground; he landed in front of me.
I stopped, and my heart became cold.
*****
She tried to run again. She was afraid of me. I wasn't letting her run this time. I had to make it up to her. She was still looking down, not allowing me to see her face.
"Kill me…" she rasped, her first words to me.
So that was a part of it too. She thought I was sent here to terminate her as a missing-nin. Didn't she know I couldn't?
I gently cupper her chin in both of my hands, ready to tell her I was not here to kill her. I coaxed her face up and she hesitantly brought her eyes to mine.
I wasn't prepared for what I saw. I looked into her eyes and immediately knew it would be one of those things that haunted me. Her rich green eyes were empty; all color had left them, having dulled them to a dark color. All of her sparkle, too, had gone, and her eyes looked like empty tunnels. I noticed her eyes had dark circles under them, accented by a tinge of red. I then noticed she had gone back to looking at her feet, because I by now had dropped my hands and taken a step back in shock.
She looked into my eyes again and I got another full dose of what I had done. She looked at me sadly, even, though she regretted being in my presence. She probably did.
No amount of anything justified causing her this much pain.
It was like I was looking into the eyes of death itself.
The guilt rippled through me as I wondered what she had done in the last couple of days. She stayed silent, and I didn't know what to say anymore. "Sorry" no longer seemed like enough…
*****
I averted my eyes from him, which were now scrutinizing me with such a power I felt self conscious.
I must have looked pretty hideous; when I first met his eyes it widened substantially and he took a step back in shock.
I was still watching him blurrily through my eyelashes as his eye roamed over the rest of my body and stopped on my abdomen where I knew he was seeing the hand sewn area that hid my scar. His eye widened again and he took half a step forward and I crossed my arms over my stomach.
"Sakura…" he began differently this time, a tone much more gentle than any I've ever heard him use.
I took a step backwards and nearly tripped. I righted myself before I fell.
"Why… Why did you come here?" I asked in a whisper.
"I needed to find you." He answered simply, and then continued. "It was a smart idea to exit on this side of Suna, but I knew you would go this way so I came around and entered Suna on this side. You friends are busy in town pursuing a shadow clone." He smiled a small smile I somewhat managed to make out through his mask.
"Well, you've found me." My voice broke. The pain in my chest was a steady stinging coming from inside my ribs and I could feel the moisture behind my eyes but I blinked it away quickly. I was not going to cry in front of him. "It's okay. I won't fight." I whispered.
The sound of surrender on my lips sounded pitiful to my ears, and I knew it would to his, too. The truth was I'd given up on living almost a week ago. He was my life, and it didn't matter to me what happened to me anymore now that I knew he didn't care. There is a very fine line between living and being alive, and I knew what side I was on.
The urge to fall to my knees and cry was strong, but I didn't do it. I didn't want him to think me more weak than I already was.
I find it slightly humorous how I know he'll never care about me, yet I still care what he thinks.
I sighed and looked down, waiting for my demise.
I could hear him moving and I closed my eyes and tried not to think about what he was doing, and in a way hoping he would take pity on me and do it quickly.
I've suffered long enough.
I flinched when I suddenly felt his arms wrap around me, strangely gentle for an attack.
I know I said it was okay, but I was still afraid. I couldn't keep myself from shaking uncontrollably, willing my knees not to give out so I could remain standing.
I was trembling so hard it felt like I was having a seizure, but my eyes remained dry. It was unlike any other feeling I've ever had, knowing I was about to die. It felt like I was about to have a weight lifted off my shoulders, and I was at peace with the fact that the one I loved was about to kill me. I scrunched my eyes closed and waited for the final blow, willing the shaking to stop.
He dragged me closer to him. Here it comes, I thought. This is the end…
He lowered his face so that his masked lips were at my ear. This moisture finally beaded at the corners of my eyes and ran down in two tiny trails down my cheeks.
"Calm down," he said softly. "I'm not here to kill you."
I was torn between feelings of relief and distress. He didn't kill me.
But I was still alive.
I was still looking down, the shadow created by my bangs concealing the top of my face. He went to resting his cheek on my hair, gently crushing me against his chest.
I was still shaking slightly, in his embrace. The pain in my chest had turned to a throbbing agony, my heart beating out a jagged, uneven, and disjointed rhythm while he hugged me.
My arms hung limply by my sides, and I was unable to hug him back. I just stood there, and a couple more tears escaped my eyes and fell to the forest floor.
He gently started running his hand up and down my back, trying to soothe me. But my heart rate wouldn't slow. My breathing hitched and broke.
He was doing this out of guilt, I suddenly realized. If he wasn't here to terminate me, he must have just come to check up on me, and then go home, content with the knowledge that I was okay.
Or maybe Tsunade sent him, because she'd want to know as well.
Then he was doing this out of obligation.
Suddenly I felt even less important.
Why was he here?
As if he heard me, he drew away, still holding my upper arms. I guess he, too, sensed I was unstable.
"I need to talk to you." He said. I looked at him and I saw an emotion flash across his face too quickly for me to identify it. I looked down again, ashamed of my appearance. He took my chin between his thumb and index finger and lifted my head up again.
"Don't look away." He somewhat pleaded. "Why did you leave Konoha?"
I felt some of the like drain out of me a little bit and I choked back a sob.
"I couldn't stay."
"Why not?"
"You of all people should know!" I choked, half strangled.
"Sakura," he began sadly. "You don't understand."
"No, I do." I said just as sadly. "You've made yourself perfectly clear."
He finally drew away from hugging me and saw that my hands were clenched and my lip was trembling.
--
What do you think will happen now?