Chapter 10: Ren Also Thinks Ruby Is Insane
Ren: Stevens' house, Ren's room, Sacramento: 2:00pm, 18 June

"Ren, I have to ask you something." Ruby said bursting into my room without a knock or the slightest warning whatsoever. I didn't even know the girl was here.

"Ok. Ask away." I said.

"Do you think I'd be bad to have sex with because of my accent?"

I blinked, and tried to determine if she said what I thought she said. It may have been a joke. But it had been pretty clear, and completely serious on top of that, "Ruby…I wouldn't have sex with you, and I don't really want to think about having sex with you. I love you to death…but no."

"I'm just saying in general!" She seemed very flustered, "Do you think it bothers other people?"

"Is that all you came to ask me."

"Oh…no, oh my God, no."

"How about we get to what you really wanted to ask me because that other question is really weird."

"Fine." She whined, and sat down in my computer chair, "You and Tawny-"

"Is there a point to what you're gonna say?" I interrupted her.

"Well, I went to talk to Tawny, and she was in a horrible mood. She was really mean to me."

"She's always really mean to you." I reminded her.

"Meaner than normal! She said mean things about my accent." She pouted.

"You would be in a bad mood too if you were in love with someone that didn't love you back." I defended Tawny, and it became apparent where the first question Ruby asked came from.

"So you don't care that she doesn't want to be friends?"

I had thought a lot about it, "If it'll make her happy then sure. Of course I still want to be friends with her, but if she can't then she can't."

"Oh my God!" She squealed, "Don't tell me you don't think she's being stupid!"

I shrugged. If she didn't want me to tell her, then I wouldn't.

"You're ruining my intervention!"

"You were planning an intervention?" Her heart was in the right place…at least I think it was.

"Of course!" She said it like it was something that should have been obvious to me as well.

"I went and talked to her dad about it yesterday…but then last night when I got back from getting Kate's stuff, I kinda understood."

"You kinda understood, but not completely understood."

I forced a bit of laughter, "I mean, it's logical. After she gets over me we can be friends again."

"What if she doesn't?"

"Why wouldn't she?"

"I, personally, don't see what she likes about you in the first place. No offense or anything."

"None taken. I know I'm boring. You tell me often enough."

"But…" She continued, "What if she's like really in love with you?"

"Is there some kind of differentiation that I missing here? If she doesn't see me or talk to me then she can't keep being in love with me. It doesn't last. Still being in love with someone after years and years is just something silly from Victorian literature. It doesn't happen in reality." I paused, "Right?"

She shrugged, "I just thought I'd throw that out there."

"What's it like to be in love with someone…like…really in love?"

"How should I know?" She said sharply, looking rather confused that I'd even ask her.

"But like…doesn't it feel different…or something?"

"Do you think I've been in love?"

"Well…" Yes, I did, "You have sex-"

"Don't tell me you're a crazy idealist that thinks you can't have sex without love too!"

"Huh?"

"Sex is sex. You don't have to have it with someone you love. I mean, sure you can have sex with someone you love, but you can have sex with anyone."

"I…I wouldn't. It's supposed to be special."

"If you wait for someone special you may die a virgin."

"Laying on the peer pressure mighty thick today, aren't you, Ruby?"

"Whatever floats your boat."

Yeah, my boat. That damned little thing I was sitting in alone. I shrugged, and thought that maybe I had read a bit too much Victorian literature for my own good.

"Do you think you might like Tawny?" She asked after a few moments of silence.

"Sure, I like her."

"No! In a lesbian way!" She corrected.

"Oh…I don't know."

"You don't know?" She seemed to be getting a little angry, and I didn't know why.

I sat and just looked at her, waiting for her to say something else.

"How can you not know?"

"Err…I don't know."

"Do you want to see her boobs!"

I was taken aback, "That just seems sorta rude…and I…I…"

"I give up!" She threw her hands in the air, got up and walked to the door. She turned, "I'm the only person that cares about you and Tawny's friendship. What the fuck?"

"Ruby, I care."

"Bullshit. You two are miserable."

"I'm fine." I lied. I wasn't fine, but I wasn't miserable. Miserable was a mighty strong word.

"Whatever." And with that she walked out of my room, shutting the door behind her.

I lay down and snuggled with my ancient stuffed monkey, Mr. Pookie. I was close to being fine, right? I had accepted what happened and that was the end of it. I was ok, I think. But everyone else had gone off to do fun things, and I was sitting alone in my room with the door shut doing nothing. That should have been some sort of sign to me, but it didn't register at the time. Ruby was out of her mind, and that did register. She meant well, but she needed to just stay out of it. She was going to make it all worse, I was afraid. Maybe she was trying to make up for her screw up that lead up to the fiasco. I dunno.

"Could I be in love with Tawny?" I asked Mr. Pookie.

He didn't answer, and I was glad.