Author's notes

Thank you all for the reviews and I want to especially thank Naolin who took the time to review each chapter :)

I don't forget to thank my beta-reader, Sayosi ;)

I do my best to update as often as possible so I can't write faster :P

Here's the update!

Legend:
Thoughts

Disclaimer: Yes, I own Mai-HiME. I like torturing the fans by not including any ShizNat interaction in the anime. Of course, it's false.

Time To Grow Up : chapter 10.

一〇 Breakdown, part 2.

Four o'clock. A long-haired girl was lying on her bed. She was unable to sleep. She was unwilling to close her eyes and see the same person hurting her. She didn't want to be told the truth again.

For the first time in her life, Shizuru was egoistic. She didn't give any news to Natsuki for her own sake, because it would make her suffer.

She remembered her own words, "In the future, we will not always be together". She said this sentence casually, but now she realised that it was utterly true. They wouldn't be able to stay together forever. It was already afflicting to leave high school. Therefore Shizuru had to accustom being separated from Natsuki.

So, thinking about the reaction Natsuki had when she confessed she would always love her whatever would happen, made her sick. That was why she became an insomniac.

At the same time, almost ten thousand kilometres away...

One week ago, Mai had convinced, or rather forced, Natsuki to return to class. Though, afterwards she believed that maybe it wasn't a good idea… Indeed, Natsuki was like a hurricane that no one could stop.

Some pupils, who were on the way of the hurricane, were reprimanded, "Get out my way!"

Natsuki was definitively back at school; everybody took in her slaughtering mood.

Witnessing of the scene, Kikuchi took Natsuki's shoulders to stop her and scolded her, "Are you stupid? What has happened to you lately?"

Natsuki looked at his hands that were laying on her and threw him her most dreadful glare. "What do you think you are doing? Move away!"

Suiting the action to the words, she knocked him down and left. Kikuchi was sitting on the grass, taking his jaw in his hand. Mai ran to him to get news of what happened. "Kikuchi-san, are you okay?"

"Was I knocked over by a truck?"

Mai smirked, "Ah ah… Sorry. She's in a bad mood".

Amazed, Kikuchi repeated, "Bad mood? That is a euphemism. What is her problem?"

"It's a long story…"

Mai had tried several times to draw closer to Natsuki. Nonetheless, she knew her lonely friend well, and when Natsuki wanted to be alone, she had to be alone for fear of being punched like Kikuchi was just right now.

However some people, especially one boy, didn't understand that…

Nearly eight hours later in Paris. It was lunchtime. Shizuru was eating with other colleagues, young trainees like her, in the cafeteria.

"So…" said one of the young people, surprised, "Every morning you prepare that!"

Shizuru smiled, "We call that a bento".

"Oh, ok. But, how do you have the time at the morning?"

Always so calm, the Japanese girl answered, "With a good organisation, you have always the time". Especially when you don't sleep.

"Aah? And have you ever tried occidental food?"

"Yes, but I am not fond of it."

"Really? Have you tried, for example, hum… ah… fried chicken?"

"Yes, I did, although, I don't like it as well."

"Oh…" The boy was as amazed as if Shizuru had said that the Earth was flat. "Ah! What do you think about, err…" He asked the girl next him, "How do you say 'frites' in English?"

The girl took a pensive look and replied, "I think it's 'french fries'".

The boy laughed, "He he, 'french'".

Seeing her friend boasting, the girl elbowed him. Then, she enquired Shizuru, "So, Shizuru, have you ever tasted french fries?"

The two young people hadn't noticed that Shizuru was voiceless for almost five minutes. The young man was worried, "Err… Are you okay Shizuru? You know, it isn't a problem if you don't like occidental food. Plus, I think that your food is healthier".

Shizuru left abruptly, "I'm sorry…"

The two Frenchies stayed there looking at each other in astonishment.

"You'll get sick if you don't stop eating like this. You know that it isn't good to eat raw fish every day? Eh, taste this!"

"No, thank you. There is so much grease in it that the ceiling of the Sistine Chapel could be repainted."

"Huh? Oh, c'mon Shizuru."

"I am sorry Natsuki, I will not eat this."

"It's only french fries! It's good! Say 'aaah'."

"If Natsuki wants to feed me, she will have to find another way…"

"What?... Eh, SHIZURU!"

Even the sight of french fries made Shizuru think about her. She was so disheartened… I am so pathetic…

Two days later, in Fuuka High-School…

In the classroom, just after the end of the lecture when the students started to leave the room, Natsuki didn't move. She was still at her desk with her elbow lying on the table and her chin resting in her palm. She was looking through the window while frowning.

Kikuchi squatted next to her, worried about his 'friend'. "Hey, Natsuki, what is your problem? You look so angry." Saying these words, he gently shook her arm.

Natsuki turned her head violently, and looked at him with so much hatred. Then, she kicked him and made him fall.

The impact was so violent that Kikuchi was propelled on a few meters moving several chairs in his way.

After that, the vixen stood up, "I told you that…" She didn't have the time to finish her sentence; a teacher was entering into the room.

Sensing the flurry, he asked, "What happened here?" He inspected the classroom and appended angrily, "What is this mess? Kikuchi-kun, what are you doing on the floor?"

"Oh, I am sorry, it is no…" Kikuchi tried to explain. However, he was cut off by the others pupils, who were afraid of Natsuki. They claimed, "Teacher! He was punched by Kuga-san."

The person concerned ground her teeth and clenched her fists, Bunch of tattletales! You'll pay for that.

The professor looked at Natsuki and ordered, "Kuga Natsuki, I won't tolerate such behaviour! Please immediately go to the Student Council". He pointed his finger to the door, waiting for Natsuki to go out. The latter sighed in exasperation and left the room.

The high-tempered girl could have left the school, but what was the use? She would have more problems than she already had. Moreover, going to the Student Council wasn't a big deal and it was worth it for Kikuchi's KO.

That boy! Why doesn't he just leave me alone?

She finally reached the Student Council room in where the President, his Vice-President, and the Executive Board Leader, Yukino, were sitting.

As soon as the rebellious girl was seated on a chair, the president scolded her, "So… I just got a call from Uchiyamada-sensei. Your attitude is outrageous. Where do you think you are?
I know that the past year you got a lot of advantages because of your friend's status, but this time is over. Now, I'm the new president, and I will not let you do what you want!"

Natsuki, who was looking down, slowly raised her head, ready to throw her death-glare. Who do you think you are? You can't hold a candle to Shizuru…

Yukino chose that moment to speak discreetly to the president, "Err… Sorry, President… Hum… May I speak to Kuga-san, please? …I think that it's only a temporary problem. Err… I would like to try to reason with her".

The president was curious to see how such a shy girl like Yukino would be able to calm such an impetuous person like Natsuki. For this reason, he merely shrugged in agreement.

Yukino bowed and thanked him. She asked Natsuki if she would like to go outside, in the corridors, to talk. Natsuki didn't decline the proposition, as she couldn't bear anymore the new president.

The introvert girl said composedly, "Kuga-san, I won't reprimand you for your act…"

"Ok, thank you. See you later." Turning back, Natsuki was on the point of leaving.

"However…" said Yukino louder, "I would like to know why you are so angry".

This sentence stopped Natsuki. She turned to Yukino, exacerbated. "Why does everybody worry about me? I'm fine, ok! So leave me alone!"

She turned back again and Yukino interrupted her for a second time by saying, "So… It doesn't have any connection with her departure, right?"

Calmed down, Natsuki didn't move anymore. Without facing the other girl, she questioned, "How do you know that?"

"Well, Haruka is my friend…" She timidly laughed, "And she is very talkative". At last, she enquired, "Please tell me, Kuga-san, why do you have a grudge against Fujino-san?"

The blue-haired girl was silent ten seconds and then, she uttered a sob, "You can't understand…" and she quickly ran away.

She ran herself out of breath. While she was running, the words said by her friend reiterated themselves in her head.

"Why do you have a grudge against her?"

Because she abandoned me!

But she didn't have a choice.

I don't care. She should have stayed with me!

Why?

Because… because…

Without knowing it, she found herself in the garden on the back of the Kazahana's Residence, the Flower Garden.

Meanwhile, in Paris, Shizuru was starting her day. She was putting some documents in order.

Her supervisor came, puzzled. "Wow, Shizuru-san! You are already working!"

Shizuru didn't understand. It is eight o'clock; work starts at eight o'clock, so… Where is the problem? "Did I make a mistake?"

"Oh, no, no! I'm not accustomed to it, that's all." He smirked. "Normally, when work begins at eight, the employees come at half past eight. They drink some coffee, chat, and then they begin to work at… hum…" He looked up, thinking. "At ten o'clock… Then, break time!"

He laughed.

"So… Shizuru-san, do you want to drink some coffee with us? Oh, or some tea. I know that you prefer tea. Oh, and maybe you can show us the preparation?"

Shizuru faintly grinned. Her employer's accent was terribly dreadful, but he was kind. Maybe too much enthusiastic, but he made Shizuru laugh. She really needed it.

"I am sorry, sir, but I would like to finish my task, if you allow me to do that."

"Oh… It's weird… I think you work too much, Shizuru-san. The last week you didn't even take a break. Maybe work pace is more sustained in Japan, but I think that it's too much work for a young lady like you." More seriously, he added, "I'm really worried about you".

The Japanese girl merely smiled. "I am fine, thank you for caring, mister Dupont."

"Call me Pierre, it's fine." And he left.

Shizuru resumed her task while thinking about her manager's words. He was right. Since she got here, she didn't stop working. But why?

Shizuru had always been a hard worker, but at this stage it was madness. She worked so rigidly that she didn't even have the time to think.

Here we are…

The reason why Shizuru worked herself to death was to prevent herself from thinking. She knew that if she started to fall into her thoughts, she would be more heartbroken that she currently was.

That was why Shizuru was afraid to sleep, afraid to have nothing to do, afraid to think about it. For this same reason she didn't call her friend or even send a mail.

Her feelings were messed up. She didn't want to see Natsuki, although she needed to be with her. She dreaded to hear her voice, but she wanted to speak to her.

That she desired the most right now was to tear out that thing which was in her chest. That thing which harmed her so much. That thing which was racing each time she heard the name of Natsuki.

Why did she have to love someone who would never return her feelings?

Not only could love be a marvellous thing, but also the evillest pain in the world.

Natsuki stood in the flower garden. She delicately touched a flower.

The memories of this day played in her mind, the day that had eternally changed her life.

It was three years ago. She was about to crush a flower in her hand…

"Flowers, huh."

"You shouldn't do that."

Natsuki turned abruptly to the voice. She saw a chestnut-haired girl with crimson eyes.

"Beautiful flowers are to be loved", the other girl smiled, "Since it's doing its best to bloom during its short life".

The slightly blushing junior high school girl was upset for having been seen crushing a flower. She thought she was alone, but that wasn't the case. She sharply asked, "Who are you?"

Without leaving her smile, the high school student replied, "My name is Fujino Shizuru. And you?"

Natsuki became suspicious. "Kuga… Natsuki."

Shizuru's smile grew wider. "Natsuki... that's a nice name."

Why does the famous Fujino Shizuru want to speak with me? "What do you want?"

Even if Natsuki was speaking with a very rude tone, Shizuru stayed calm and unaffected. "I can't talk to you without having a reason?"

"Yeah…"

Since that day, Shizuru didn't stop hanging around her. She had protected her younger friend from going down a slippery slope. She prevented Natsuki from turning out like Nao did.

Yes, Natsuki became what she was now thanks to Shizuru… So, if one asked Natsuki if she was angry with Shizuru, she would probably answer 'no'.

No… Natsuki wasn't angry with Shizuru. She was angry with herself because she wasn't able to stop her friend. She knew she could have, but she didn't do anything.

Because of the sudden realisation, Natsuki couldn't prevent herself to burst into tears. Her legs abruptly became weak. She kneeled down, burying her head in her hands.

The girl was so depressed that she didn't notice the person standing behind her.

End of chapter 10

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