Because I had many requests I decided to post this chapter before saturday. Just a small warning, this is the last pre-written chapter I have for this story... I will try to keep my updating schedule and update every saturday, but I can't promise...
Day 11 - The Journal
I wake up and look at the clock on the nightstand. It's only a little after 7 in the morning, so I still have time until I have to get up. I stretch and notice that my ribs no longer hurt and my headache is almost completely gone. Actually, I feel good. I sit up and frown when I see a box lying on the chest of drawers. I get up and see that there is a note on top of it.
Anastasia,
The outfit I want you to wear for today is in the box. I expect breakfast at 8:30 am.
Christian Grey
I open the box and inside is a pair of black Louboutains high heels and a black lace teddy. Okay, so he likes lace lingerie and high heels. It's just us here, so I can do this. I take a quick shower, blow dry my hair and leave it open as there were no instructions how to wear my hair and dress in the teddy and high heels.
Arriving in the kitchen I need a moment to find everything I need and start to make breakfast. Since I know that Christian is all about eating healthy I decide to make fruit salad, egg white omelette and a green juice for both of us. Just when everything is ready Christian emerges in the kitchen and sits down at the breakfast bar.
"Good morning, Anastasia."
"Good morning, Sir" I say as I place his breakfast in front of him.
"How are you feeling this morning, Anastasia?"
"Very good, thank you Sir, my ribs don't hurt anymore and my headache is almost gone."
"Good, sit and eat. Is the coffee ready?"
"Oh, I am sorry. I didn't make any coffee. I'll get right on it." I hurry over to the machine and start the coffee. So, much for living healthy... having coffee first thing in the morning is not good.
"Don't you drink coffee with your breakfast, Anastasia?"
"I try to avoid it, Sir. I recently read in a health magazine that it is best to wait with the first coffee of the day until you are up for at least two hours, the body produces natural cortisol which wakes you up, so it is best to have the first coffee about two hours after waking up, so it keeps you more productive. I switched to having a green juice with my breakfast and it makes me feel more energetic throughout the day." I tell him and he rubs his chin thoughtful.
"Well, I guess it doesn't hurt to try. So, what's in this green juice?"
"Green apples, lime, parsley, kale, cucumber, celery and a tiny bit of ginger" I watch him take a sip and he seems pleasantly surprised by the flavor which was pretty much my reaction after trying it for the first time.
"It's good. I think I could get used to it." he says more to himself than to me so I sit down and we eat in comfortable silence and I put everything away and clean after we are finished while he watches me. Actually, I feel a lot more naked in this lingerie than I would if I were naked. Maybe it is because he is watching my every move...
"I am going to work out for a while. Make yourself at home, Anastasia. Are you still planing to cook for us tonight... you know the german meal you talked about?"
"Yes, it's all here, Sir."
He nods and leaves. I am bored. There is nothing for me to do here, so I go back to the guest room, flop down on the bed and grab my purple Macbook Pro from my overnight bag and decide to do some research. After all now that I know Christian is Sir, I can almost rule him out from my list of suspects. All I need to do is find out if he really was away on the weekend Emma went missing. And 20 minutes later I have my proof. There are pictures of Christian at a function in London at the time Emma disappeared.
So, now my main suspects are Jack Hyde and Matt Turner. Both knew Emma and Jack was her Dom. If he found out about Christian and Emma he might lost it and killed her. Though he seemed to genuinely care for Emma, of course that could have been all a show he put on so he wouldn't seem guilty of anything... I decide that I need to talk to him again. I just need to come up with a good excuse for doing so. Hell, he is an editor, I could just give him a call and ask him if he could help me getting published once I have written my book. Since Jack is away for the weekend I decide to call him on Monday and do a little more research on Kate.
After clicking through articles she has written recently and some from her time in college I stop when I see that she has done an interview with Christian for the college newspaper. She never told me that she met him and wow looking through the question they are very personal. It's a little odd that all those people I met somehow know each other in one way or another and Emma knew them all too. Maybe she discovered something that she shouldn't have... great now I am sounding like a conspiracy fanatic again.
I decide that I have done enough research for one morning and as I am not allowed to do exercises for a week I decide to play the piano a little. I make my way upstairs and find Christian in the kitchen pouring himself a coffee.
"Do you need anything Anastasia?"
"No Sir, I ... I was a little bored and I thought I could play the piano for a while, if you don't mind."
"No, that's fine. In fact, I will get my laptop and listen to you playing. Can you play classical pieces?"
"Of course, anything specific you would like me to play, Sir?"
"Something soothing." he says gets his laptop from his study and I sit down on the piano bench while he sits down on the sofa. Something soothing... I think for a second and smile. This might not be what he wanted me to play, but I decide to play River flows in you, which is better known as Bella's lullaby from Twilight.
I start to play it and when I'm finished I change to Rhapsody on a theme by Rachmaninov. I play two more pieces when I hear him get up and he stands right behind me.
"Play the first song again Anastasia, the piece from Twilight. You will play it until I tell you stop, if you stop or climax I will punish you. Understand?"
"Yes Sir" I whisper and for a moment I wonder what he has on his mind, but then his fingers glide across my collarbone and further down into the bra cups of the teddy I am wearing. He starts to massage my breasts slowly and I close my eyes and try to concentrate on pressing the right keys on the piano, which isn't exactly easy because he is now playing with my nipples and as he pinches them hard I hit the wrong key.
"Careful, Miss Steele. Don't mistreat my piano or there will be no orgasm for you this weekend" he whispers into my ear and I whimper a little.
"Hush, no sounds ... I just want to hear the music" he whispers and teasingly bites my earlobe. How on earth am I going to keep playing like this? Soon his hands are all over me and I do my best to keep playing... but it's hard.
"Tell me Anastasia, are you wet for me?"
"Yes, Sir"
"How wet?"
"Very" I moan and one of his hands slides under the teddy to find out if I told him the truth, which I did and he groans when he feels how wet I am.
"Do you want me to fuck you on the piano, Anastasia?" he growls into my ear.
"Yes, please Sir" my voice is so husky I barely recognize it myself, but I want him, now!
"Stop playing!" he orders and I immediately stop. I sit there and wait while he closes the lit and then he makes me stand up and slowly strips the teddy of me so I am naked except for my high heels.
He slowly walks around me and then lifts my chin. "You are a very beautiful woman, Anastasia. Do you know how beautiful you are?"
"No Sir" I whisper. I mean I know I am not ugly and before Peter decided to cheat on my I even considered myself as beautiful, but now I am not so sure.
"You are. Say it!" he snaps and for a moment I hesitate, so grabs my hair and pulls my head back a little. "Say it, Anastasia."
"I am beautiful, Sir" I whisper.
"That you are, a beauty like yours is rare, don't ever forget that." he says, lifts me on the piano and then pulls on my legs until the are hanging over his shoulders and my ass is suspended in the air.
"Hold on to the piano" he orders and I do as I am told. When his tongue makes contact with my aching clit a deep moan escapes me, but this time he doesn't seem to mind and I am glad because his tongue is magical and I have no idea how to hold back my orgasm.
"Do you want me to fuck you?"
"Yes" I gasp.
"Beg me!"
"Please, Sir, please" if he doesn't fuck me soon I will lose my mind!
"No... no. You have to be more specific, Anastasia. I want you tell me exactly what you want" he says playing with my desperate need to have him... but if he wants me to be more specific I can do that.
"I want you to thrust your thick cock inside me and fuck me hard..."
"Oh my goodness!" I freeze when I hear those words cried out from a female voice followed by Christian's gasp "Mom!"
Mom? Mom! His mother? Oh. My. God. I am naked on a piano with Christian's head between my legs and his mother just walked in on us? Can I please die now?
Christian quickly lifts me from the piano and I hide behind him, seeing his mother who has turned around, but is still standing there. I don't care if I am getting punished for it, but I make a run for the stairs and hurry into the guest room. Fuck, his mother. I am so embarrassed I want the ground to swallow me up. Jesus H. Christ, she heard what I said... she must think I am a slut.
Great, this has to be the single most embarrassing moment of my life. I sit down on the bed and wrap the duvet around myself. Maybe I should get dressed and leave, but just when I think about it the door opens and Christian comes in. He looks not pleased at all.
"Get dressed, my mother wants to meet you." he snaps and my eyes widen. Meet his mother? Why?
"Anastasia, do not make me repeat myself!" oh boy, he is fucking pissed, so I hurry into the walk in closet and quickly put a white knitted dress and some leggings on, instead of the high heels I slip some flats on and quickly put my hair into a messy bun and follow Christian downstairs.
His mother gets up from the sofa the moment she sees me and my face is a flame. How am I supposed to look this woman in the eyes?
"Hello, I am Grace Trevelyan-Grey. Christian's mother and you are Anastasia, right?"
"Yes, it's nice to meet you, Dr. Trevelyan-Grey."
"Well, it would have been nice to meet you earlier, Anastasia, but my son seems to think introducing his girlfriend to his parents is not necessary." she says a little hurt and I have no idea what to answer. His girlfriend?
"Mom, please! It's not Anastasia fault, we just met recently. Anastasia and I wanted to make sure our relationship would work before we wanted to tell everyone. But I guess now that you know, we can just make it official. So, Mom, meet my girlfriend, Anastasia Steele. Anastasia I am pleased to introduce you to my mother Grace Trevelyan-Grey" Christian says and I am not sure what to do... his girlfriend? Oh my god, how can he lie so smoothly to his own mother?
Can I believe anything he told me when he lies so smoothly? I know this is not the right time to think about this so I just give his mom a warm smile and put on my happy face as Christian wraps one arm around my waist. I play along with his charade and like a good girlfriend I offer his mother something to drink and ask her if she wants to have lunch with us which she politely denies.
"So, it was a pleasure to meet you, Anastasia and I will see you on Saturday. Christian has asked you, right?" she asks me and I have no idea what she is talking about.
"No mom, you've beat me to it, but we will be there, don't worry." he says and gives his mother a kiss on the cheek before escorting her to the elevator. When he returns his mouth is pressed into a hard line.
"Leave!" he hisses.
"I... I'm sorry, Sir ... I"
"Get out now" he yells and kicks one of the bar stools across the kitchen. I don't lose anytime I dart upstairs get my stuff and I am out of the penthouse in less than two minutes. And it is not before I am safe in my apartment sitting on the sofa that I start to shake. Maybe I got this all wrong. Christian lied so smoothly to his mother and his outburst... he actually scared the hell out of me.
I know he was out of town when Emma disappeared, but what if she really was travelling first and he was so mad that she left without telling him, that he tracked her down and just lost it? Fuck, I must not think like this... I must not think like this...
To distract myself I decide to make lunch. Cooking always distracts me. So, I look through the contents of my fridge and pantry and decide to make tuna rolls for lunch. But even while I cook I can't get his outburst out of my head. I am not even sure if this means that our contract is over... and if not, maybe I should end it. Maybe this all was a bad idea, maybe I am in way over my head and soon I will be the one who is missing.
No, I can't think like that. A 25 year old woman just disappeared and no one in this world cared enough about her to find out what happened to her. That's just not right... if she is dead, then she deserves to be found. I started this and I will go through with it. If in the end it turns out that I got it all wrong and Emma is alive, living happily somewhere else, then I will be happy for her. But if not she deserves to get justice and I never met this woman, but I feel so drawn to her that I need to know what happened to her.
In the evening I start to think about what to make for dinner when I hear someone knock at my door. I open and find Christian who to my surprise is holding a beautiful bouquet of flowers in his hands.
"Hi, can I come in?" he asks and if I am not mistaken he is nervous. I take a step back to let him in and usher him into my livingroom.
"Can I offer you a drink, Sir?"
"Forget the Sir for now, just call me Christian. We need to talk and um... these are for you" he hands me the flowers and I frown.
"My shrink told me that I needed to apologize for my behavior" he mutters and I smile.
"Well, apology accepted, I get a vase, do you want something to drink?"
"Yes, a white wine if you have."
"Sure" I quickly go to the kitchen put the flowers in a vase and get two glasses of white wine.
"Thank you" Christian says as I hand him the wine and takes a sip. "I didn't mean to scare you earlier, Anastasia. I have ... anger issues. When ever I feel like I am not in control I get very angry. What I usually do in situations like that is to take my sub into the playroom and have her completely surrender to me. I couldn't do that with you and it only fueled my anger. I want our arrangement to work, so I have to earn your trust first and of course we have to work up to the scenes I have in mind with you. I needed you out of the apartment so I wouldn't be tempted to order you into the playroom anyway. I had my shrink come over, we talked and after that and a five miles run I felt the need to explain to you what happened."
I look at him... he sure has some demons and I am not sure what to think. The rational part of me tells me that I should end this now. But the other part of me doesn't want to. There is something about Christian that makes me feel safe, even though this seems ridiculous after his outburst.
"I would understand if you want to end the contract... but I would like it if you wouldn't do it. I want you Anastasia and I know we can make our arrangement work." he says and before I can even think about it I hear myself say "I don't want to end the contract, but ... what about your mother?"
"Well, I hate to lie to my mother, but since she believes you are my girlfriend I think it would be best to just play the part for my family, as long as our arrangement lasts." he says looking uncomfortable with that and I take a huge sip of wine.
"That bad, huh?" he says with a smirk, but if I am not mistaken he sounds a little hurt.
"No, just... I hate to lie and this is going to be complicated. We need to come up with a back story and..."
"Backstory?"
"Well, if someone asks us how we met our answers should be the same. Then there are other things we need to come up with, like our first date and things a couple should know about the other."
"Like what?"
"Birthday... things you hate, things you love... hobbies ... oh do you snore?"
"How would I know if I snore?" he asks and I giggle.
"I don't know, but I guess if so far no one has told you, we will just assume that you don't snore."
"Do you snore?"He chuckles.
"No, but I talk in my sleep."
"What?"
"I talk in my sleep."
"How do you know that you do that?"
"Several people told me."
He raises one brow and looks pissed. "Excuse me if I am wrong, but I assumed other than your ex and now me there was no one with whom you were intimate."
"There wasn't, but I had sleepovers with my girl friends and as a small child I would some times have nightmares and sleep in my parents bed. Oh, and since I want to be honest, I did have sex with a woman once." I murmur a little embarrassed and his eyes nearly pop out of his head.
"You are bi-sexual?"
"No, I was just curious and I live by the philosophy that you can't say you don't like something until you have tried it. It was good, but I never felt the need to repeat it. Have you ever tried something with a man?"
"What? No! I am not gay!" he looks appalled and I laugh. "Sorry, but for someone who takes part in a lifestyle like BDSM I thought you would be open to try new things."
"I am, if it includes a woman. Anyway, I think it is best if we both compile a list with things about us the other should know."
"Okay, so what was your mother talking about earlier when you told her we would be there?"
"The charity event, you know... the one you told your mom you couldn't attend."
"Oh... okay, well I will just tell my mom that I have changed my mind."
"Are you going to tell your parents?"
"Tell my parents what?" I ask confused.
"That I am your... boyfriend" he says and I pale.
"Not if I can avoid it." I mutter and he gets to his feet.
"I see, well then it will be best if I leave now." he says clipped and I am not sure if he is hurt or pissed.
"Christian wait... I am not ashamed of you or anything like that. I just don't want to make this anymore complicated than it already is and if I tell my parents that I have a new boyfriend they will expect us to come to Chicago so they can meet you. My dad... he is like the biggest control freak ever when it comes to me and he will grill you. So if you want me to, I can tell them, but be prepared to make time in your schedule, because my Dad will demand to meet you ASAP."
"I understand, I guess you are right, it would only make things complicated... we will talk about this if your parents should find out about us. So, do you still want to cook for me tonight?"
"Sure, though I have to cook something else, the meal I wanted to make takes three to four hours to cook and it's already 7 pm, so how about we stay here and I cook a stir fry for us?" I ask, though secretly I also want to stay here, because after his outburst I don't want to go back to the penthouse and give him a chance to drag me into the playroom.
"Works for me" he says and follows me into the kitchen. "Can I help you, Anastasia?"
"No, just sit and enjoy your wine." I give him a smile and he sits down at the breakfast bar.
"Do you enjoy to cook?"
"Yes, it's relaxing and I enjoy trying new recipes. I took some cooking classes while I was in college and the rest I learned from my Mom, my Grams and my Nana. Do you cook?"
"No, my kitchen skills only go so far as to the knowledge of how to heat things in the microwave." he says a little embarrassed.
"Maybe I could teach you some things." I grin and he chuckles.
"Believe me, Miss Steele, you wouldn't want me to ruin your kitchen or mine for that matter."
"Fair point well made, Mr. Grey. Can I ask you something?"
"Sure."
"How did you become a Dominant?"
"There are clubs where one can train"
"No, I mean when did you start and how did you know that this is what you like?"
He looks like he is miles away revisiting memories he doesn't like at all. "I was fifteen and a friend of my mothers introduced me to the lifestyle. She wanted me to become her submissive. I... was out of control at the time, desperate to fit in and she promised me that she could help me to get there. Anyway, after a month of her beating the shit out of me I was at her home ready to go into the playroom and suddenly Faith came in." he finishes his wine in one large gulp and I refill it for him.
"Thanks... where was I? Oh yes, Faith walked in and fuck me, she saw me knew right away what was going on and beat the shit out of Elena. They had been best friends for years, but the one thing Faith would never tolerate is to bring minors into the lifestyle. She gave me two minutes to get dressed and leave with her. I was shocked and didn't know what to do, hell, Faith was so mad she scared the crap out of me, so I followed her and she took me to her apartment. She managed what none of those asshole shrinks I was seeing at the time managed to do, she got me to open up. And by the end of the night she told me that I am not a submissive, she told me that if anything I would be a dominant one day."
He smiles at the memory and I have no idea what to say, he was lured into the lifestyle at 15? Christ, that is so fucked up.
"Faith also told me that I was too young to make that decision. She told me to go through highschool and college, try the girlfriend thing and if it wasn't for me and I was still drawn to the lifestyle I could come to the Black Satin and she would help me train to become a Dom. Let's just say highschool and college was a miserable time for me. I was trying to fit in, but I didn't. I went on a couple of dates, but ... it didn't go well. I have issues about touching and those girls were all over me. So, I went back to the club at nearly 20. Faith still thought I was too young, but I convinced her that I knew what I was getting myself into, so she caved in and I became a Dom."
"What do you mean, you have issues about touching?"
"That's a story for another time, now it's my turn to ask you questions, Miss Steele." he tries to sound at ease, but I can tell he does not want to touch that topic.
"Okay, what do you want to know."
"Why exactly did you decide to leave Chicago, I mean, I know that you left because of your ex, but you could have just avoided him."
"It was not just him. It was the media and all the awkwardness. As you know my father is very successful and the media always talked about me like I was Chicago's princess. I ignored them mostly and tried to live a normal life. I didn't mind the paparazzi occasionally taking a picture of me, but they became so intense after my break-up with Peter that my Dad had to hire security for me. I saw my picture on the news every day, I couldn't leave my apartment without them hunting me and all those lies in the news it was just too much. And then my friends... Peter and I grew up together, so we always had the same friends and now it was awkward for them... you know should they invite both of us for dinners and parties or only one... what would happen if I would see him with my former best friend and all of those things. In the end I just had enough, I just wanted to be me again and not Anastasia Steele, the girl who got cheated on by her fiancé and best friend. So, I decided to move to Seattle, I love the town, my grandparents used to live not far from here so I know the area."
"Don't you miss your family and going out with friends?"
"I Skype with my parents or talk to them on the phone every day at least once and as for going out with friends... I was never that kind of girl. I mean sure I went to parties in college or went to clubs some times, but I am the most happy if I can stay at home, cook a nice meal and spent the evening on the sofa with a good glass of wine reading a book or watching a movie. It may sound boring, but I saw to many of my friends from highschool and college losing focus on the important things like getting a good degree and building a career by partying their life away."
While I am talking I continue to cut the veggies and put them in the pan. Christian nods in agreement of what I just told him and then frowns. "You know, I just realised I am your rebound guy" he smirks and I laugh.
"I don't believe in such things, maybe some women need a rebound guy after a break up, but I don't need it. It's like some women who cut their hair after a break up, I wouldn't do that... but then again maybe moving to Seattle was my thing to do to cope with the break up."
He clears his throat and seems worried to ask the next question, but does it anyway. "Do you still love him?"
"No, the more I think about it the more I realise that Peter was just a safe choice for me. I knew him all my life, I knew all of his flaws and good sides, there was nothing unexpected. Boring in a way, but safe. Though to be honest I only now realise that he was and still is a selfish ass. I was always the one to make sacrifices so our relationship would work and I would have continued to do so, if he hadn't cheated on me. I was constantly worried what I would do without him and the sad truth is I am way better off without him."
While we are having dinner we come up with a story about how we met and where we went for our first date, so our stories match if someone asks us. After dinner we sit together with a glass of wine until he gets up.
"I have to leave now. I'll see you on friday, I can't wait to get you into the playroom."
"You can fuck me now if you want to" I smirk and he raises one brow at him.
"Miss Steele, I am shocked that you would talk so bluntly. But, as tempting as this offer is, I have a lot of work to finish tonight and an early breakfast meeting tomorrow, so I need to go."
Shit, I was so hoping he would fuck me tonight, well I guess my vibrator it is for tonight, I think to myself as I walk him to the door.
He leans down and presses a soft kiss to my lips. "Friday, and do not touch yourself I will know if you do and spank you for it" he whispers into my ear and with that he is gone, leaving me hot and bothered. Shit, how am I going to wait until friday without touching myself?