Disclaimer: I clearly own nothing. (Of any value or substance that is)

JD's POV

It took 45 minutes and 3 beers, but it's finally over. Well, almost over. I've brought everyone up to speed - right up until today's adventure packed events.

I told them about everything –from the beginning right on through to the present with no interruptions (which is partly due to me asking for no interruptions but I'm pretty sure 1/2 the time everyone was shocked into silence and the other 1/2 Dr. Cox was most likely threatening them with his eyes). I told them how my Uncle (my dad's brother) Steven moved in with us when I was 7 years old and stayed with us for 4 years. I told them how he abused me, daily, for those 4 years. Abuse. In all its glorious categories. Sexual, physical, emotional, verbal…you name it. He was a jack-of-all-trades that one. I can't tell if I was too detailed, or not detailed enough. Either way, I'm willing to bet all my wages for this year that it's was far more detail than anyone had bargained for – even Dr. Cox and Dan, hell….even me.

True, Dan knew more than anyone else. I told him a lot growing up. But I think even he learned a thing or two tonight. He didn't know how soon it started. He didn't know about those times Uncle Steven would follow me into the bathroom and try to play the "you show me yours, I'll show you mine" game. Back then in those first weeks he would always make a joke out of it. Laugh it off, tell me to lighten up, he was kidding. Later he would tell me this was what people did and that he was only showing me how to be like everyone else – that I should be thankful.

Of course, he also told me that I couldn't tell anyone because it wasn't the sort of thing that people talked about and no one would want to hear it. He turned out to be more right about that than he could possibly have known.

I told them all that when I finally told Dan about how he touched me all the time and made me touch him – Dan thought mom and dad should know. That only got both Dan and I grounded for making up lies about family members. That was a continuing theme all through those 4 years…and ever after. Mom and dad even convinced Dan that what I was telling him was wrong and that nothing was going on. I stopped even telling him for a little while.

I told them about the first time Uncle Steven got physically violent with me while mom and dad were gone on a date. I realized later that their "date" was really one of several desperate attempts to save their marriage. Dan was upstairs studying and I was watching t.v. when he came in the living room – drunk. He always drank a lot, but I had never seen him that far gone. He grabbed the remote control out of my hand and without a word threw it across the room and back handed me. He sort of went ballistic – whipping me with his belt, kicking me in the back and stomach while yelling at me that I was nothing to anyone and that no one would ever love me. The weird thing was, Dan came downstairs to see what the hell was going on and Uncle Steven totally stopped. It was like he was scared of Dan – a scrawny 11year old.

He must have been worried that mom and dad would believe me now that I had visible evidence that something bad was going on, so he high tailed it on out of there. However, in the hours between his fleeing and mom and dad returning from their date he had time to come up with a pretty decent story. He caught them in the driveway and told them that I had snuck out of the house and got in a fight with some neighbor kid. He said he had gone over to smooth things over with the other kid's parents and that I had been throwing temper tantrums all night and kept changing my story about what had happened. So, by the time they came through the door they were prepared to think that anything I told them was a lie. I ended up grounded for a month, which of course meant I was home even more than I already was.

After that he saved those violent moments for the times no one else was home. Normally they weren't as sloppy as that first time. He was almost always completely obliterated when he would hit me, but after his close call he smartened up. He wouldn't leave marks that could be seen unless my parents walked in on me naked or something, and he was careful never to cause an injury that would land me in the hospital since that would raise suspicion. As it turns out, those times when no one else was home started coming more and more frequently as the years went on. After Dad moved out and Dan started Junior High it felt like I was home alone with him three times as often. As you can imagine those were also Uncle Steven's favorite times for…the other stuff.

That's been the most difficult to talk about. Pretty much eye contact has not been a possibility this whole time, but when I got to that day when I got back from school to an empty house and didn't close my door before changing out of my school clothes thinking no one was around...I had to close my eyes completely to tell it.

I guess I didn't hear Uncle Steven come home. I did however hear him coming down the hallway and I tried then to close and lock the door, but he was too fast and he broke the lock by forcing the door open before I had a chance to fully flip the lock into place. The lock never got fixed.

I told them about how he raped me that day. I told them about how that seemed to unleash even more of a monster in him. Up until then the sexual abuse had been stolen touches and gropes, odd suggestions and questions, porn he would make me watch, and games he would make me play. Those just weren't enough anymore after that. That day I had the first of many "mind escapes". I blacked out most of that memory until that night it all came back to me in my dreams. That would become a pattern - an intentional one. I created worlds for myself to retreat to, and eventually that leaked into my everyday life. I was regarded as the weird kid in school and I slowly lost the small handful of friends I had. Even the teachers didn't know what to do with me. They all just thought I was flighty, and one teacher was adamant that I had ADHD and kept trying to get my parents to get me on drugs.

I was so horrified and ashamed after the rape that I kept quiet about it for a long time. It didn't help that Uncle Steven was very good at making threats about what would happen if I told anyone anyway. Dan had heard me thrashing around in my sleep and had noticed that I seemed even more skittish around Uncle Steven. He began to ask me questions about it. One night after another...um…"incident", I was having a particularly graphic dream and Dan came in to wake me up. I just broke down in front of him and told him what had been happening. He was scared and livid and told mom and dad - even though I warned him not to. History of course repeated itself and they were angry with me for telling these "disgusting lies" all the time. They couldn't figure out why I would do that to my own family, and I'm sure they thought I was a pretty twisted 8 year old for coming up with those types of stories. Dan was fairly persistent though and kept trying to talk to them about it. It only made things worse, and it caused me to be perpetually grounded. Not that it changed anything since I had no friends and no place to go. Mom and dad even made me apologize to Uncle Steven once in front of them. The repercussions of that were….horrific.

For that first year I heard mom and dad fighting a lot, and quite often I would hear my name mentioned during those fights. When dad moved out a few months before my 9th birthday I was left with the distinct impression that I had something to do with it. Dad didn't really give me that idea – it was mom. I mean, she out right told me that it was my fault - that my lies destroyed the family and ruined her life. She was a total mess for a long time…I guess she still pretty much is. Dan took it all pretty hard, too. He must have been so confused. His little brother was a mental case, his Uncle was a perverted freak, his dad up and left the family, and his mom had lost all control. He was so young. Dan never said as much, but I think mom and dad's theories of my lies being the cause of all of this had planted a seed of doubt in him. He responded to everything by getting out of the house as much as possible and he stopped trying to convince our parents that I was telling the truth for a long time. I can't blame him. If I could have gotten away, I would have too. I just didn't know how.

I told them about how I had a growth spurt when I was almost 10 and I thought that maybe since I was bigger now I could fight Uncle Steven off. That only resulted in spurring on his creativity and helping him realize his love for weaponry. Things were worse after that. Mom was working a lot and was always going off on dates as often as she could find them, thus beginning what Dan and I would later refer to as "The season of rapid fire weddings". Dan joined every sport and extra-curricular activity that would have him and was always gone off to some practice or friend's house. This of course left me even more vulnerable to Uncle Steven's various attacks.

Uncle Steven was...well...moody I guess. I never knew which version of him I was going to get. Sometimes he would be almost affectionate and tell me things like, "you're so beautiful, I'm only doing this because of how beautiful you are. No one loves you like I do." Usually when he was in one of those moods he would actually "cuddle" after he would rape me. Even though he was generally more gentle during those times, I hated them the most. They lasted longer, and I always found them profoundly more disturbing. For some reason my mind was less able to escape when he was in those moods. So I was normally forced to suffer through it without the help of my fantasy worlds.

Most of the time, though, he was more violent. He would tell me that no one would ever love me and that this would be the only kind of love I would ever get. He would tell me that I was worthless and expendable and that was why no one would ever save me. I found it interesting that he would sometimes inadvertently admit that he was doing something that I needed to be saved from in those moments. When he was in those moods it was over more quickly, but he was much more rough. Thankfully these were the episodes that I was the most able to hide from in my mind - at least until later that night when my mind would betray me in my sleep.

Sometimes Uncle Steven would get really confused and kind of bounce back and forth from mood to mood. In these times he would often blame me for what was happening to me. He would be really flattering one minute and then angry the next and hit me and say that I was doing this - that there was something wrong with me and I was making him behave this way. These were the most frightening of them all. I soon learned that it was then that he was the most apt to be careless. I was the most in danger of getting really hurt.

It was after one of those episodes that everything went spinning out of control. Uncle Steven was particularly confused and sloppy one day. He had grabbed a knife for his weapon of choice to keep me at bay and I had gotten cut up pretty badly as a consequence. Dan happened to come home between practices to find me in the bathroom trying to clean myself up. By now I had given up trying to convince anyone that he was hurting me. Even Dan – whom I hardly even saw. I was almost 11 at this point and I had gotten pretty good at administering basic first aid on myself.

Uncle Steven had gone off to a bar when he was "finished", as he often did afterwards. So it was just me and Dan. I remember his face when he saw me in the bathroom just in my underwear. He completely lost it seeing me like that. He threw up a few times and couldn't stop crying and yelling. I didn't say any of this to them. They don't need to know about Dan's emotional break down.

I had never seen him like that before - or since. It all just hit him like a tidal wave, everything he had tried to hide from. He held me for a full hour while he cried and told me how sorry he was for leaving me there with Uncle Steven. It wasn't his fault. I still don't know if he believes that. After he pulled himself together he called the cops. He did all the talking pretty much. I decided to become mute. The police officer waited for Uncle Steven to get home and questioned him. I don't think anything would have been done if he hadn't been drunk at the time and he ended up punching the police officer.

This kicked off the beginning of the end. When mom found out he had been arrested she got pissed and told him that she wasn't posting bail and that when he got out he wasn't coming back to the house - at least not right away. Apparently my Uncle could be quite the charmer. He had caught the eye of the secretary at the police station and shacked up with her for about a month.

Those were the quietest, most peaceful 4 weeks I had ever known. They would have been perfect if Dan hadn't taken up the crusade of convincing mom that Uncle Steven was an abuser. It was pretty much a daily ritual for Dan to randomly bring it up and try to get me to confess to mom what had been going on. I would normally just start crying and could only nod in agreement here and there as Dan tried telling her some specifics. She just started hitting the bottle and the singles clubs hard and ignored it all together. I guess it wasn't all that peaceful now that I think about it.

As it turns out, the poor secretary had a son about my age and Uncle Steven had had found a replacement for me. Although, when her son came to her and told her what was happening it didn't take her long to actually believe it and press charges. The night she called to have him arrested, he beat her up pretty badly and then ran out of her house and came back to ours. Mom, Dan, and I were all there cleaning up after supper. He came storming in and charged me. He grabbed me by the neck and started shaking me, choking me, and yelling that he was going to kill me. Dan pulled him off me and mom actually went to call the police. Uncle Steven was starting to figure out that things weren't looking very good for him, so he booked it and tried to leave town. He was caught after running a red light and taken in. There was a warrant out for his arrest.

Dan didn't let me follow the trial, and Mom didn't let me testify or press charges, so my story never got brought to trial. I have no idea what happened, but I think that a lot more charges on him were found to have him put away for 15 years. I know that the single mom from the police station and her son won their case, along with some other families that came forward.

He had kept himself quite busy over the years as he moved around. No one else from the 4 years he was with us came forward besides the woman who started this whole trial. I felt so guilty for that, though. I knew that if I had done something earlier, if I had ignored my parents and gone to the authorities, or a teacher, or something when this all started...that poor boy wouldn't have had to suffer. The thought still makes me sick to my stomach.

So now, I am sitting here watching the tears, that I hadn't even realized had fallen, dry on my hands as I prepare to head into the next chapter of this saga. I can't bear to look up to see the faces of Turk, Carla, and Elliot in front of me on the couch. From time to time I'd hear a gasp, a sob, a whimper, or a soft "Oh, JD" come from someone...but other than that I hadn't even really noticed they were in the room. I may as well have been talking to myself or narrating into a tape recorder - which in hindsight may have been a way better idea. I could have just handed them the tape and told them to listen to it while I hid in my room. Oh well. It's too late now. It's too late for a lot of things.

Dan had gotten up, sensing a "page break" in the story, to get more beer. He's been silently drinking the whole time. Dr. Cox has been standing next to me like a statue. Every once in a while he would put his hand on my shoulder, but other than that there wasn't a sound or movement from him this entire time. He's probably going to be sore when he finally decides to move.

I feel bad that I've taken so long with this. I should have thought about that. Everyone must be so uncomfortable. Oh good grief...uncomfortable wouldn't even come close to describing how everyone is feeling right now. And it's all thanks to me. I feel like I held all my friends' eyelids open and forced them to watch horrific home movies of my childhood all night. I kind of want to jump up and pull them all to me in a huge hug and wail at the ceiling that I am so sorry that I did this to them. I guess the need to stay as disconnected as possible from this whole thing wins out since I stay where I am. I realize though, that this is where they actually become involved. This is where there is a connection between them and this whole repulsive scenario. So, I'm going to have to forfeit that need to disconnect at least a little in order to continue on. Damn it. I need more beer.

"Ok. So...I guess this is where it might start to make sense that I'm bothering to tell you guys any of this at all." I clear my throat, which I am suddenly aware is really quite dry after I've been talking nearly non-stop for close to an hour. The three beers I've already gone through have only managed to leave a bitter taste in my mouth. But, even so I'm working away on my 4th. Deep breath. Here we go again.

"Close to a week ago I was at that little market - the one with the muffins you like so much, Elliot. I swore I saw him. It was a brief glance, and as far as I knew it would have been impossible. It scared the crap out of me non-the-less. I guess I started acting a little 'off' at that point. Um...I talked to Dan the next day and as it turns out he had been released from prison, so...it really could have been him."

"I looked it up on the online sex offender registry and found out that he lives here. On the other side of town, but...yeah. Dr. Cox you caught me looking at the website that morning. That's when I accidentally hit you with my chair, which I never apologized for, so...I'm sorry."

"Dan showed up the next day right before I uh, fainted...in a very manly way. The janitor was there, looking through the websites that people had been to. So of course, he was looking at the sex offender website, trying to guess who had been looking at that. I think he figured it out."

Huh, maybe he should have been here. Oh Lord, I'm really losing it.

"Um...the next night I'm pretty sure Uncle Steven tried to get in the apartment while you guys were out at the bar. That's why the deadbolt was locked, I wasn't really watching Pet Cemetery." I hung my head and stared at my hands again. "I'm sorry I lied."

"I guess that brings us up to date...up until today anyway. He came to the hospital today. He...h-he locked us in the bathroom. I don't think anything...happened…but I kind of, uh...don't remember most of it. Just some shoving and talking. I don't know. I guess I had one of my black out moments." I look up in Turk's general direction, "That's the guy the janitor chased out of the hospital, by the way."

I let out a shuddery sigh, gently set my 4th bottle of beer (still 1/2 full) on the floor next to me, and for the first time raised my head to look directly at Turk, Carla, and Elliot. I see my friends, the people I just want to protect from pain and sorrow and I see that I failed. They are clutching one another and their eyes are glossy with tears. I did that. They look scared and lost. I did that. There is a man out there who is after me - who knows where I live. Only it's not just me who lives here. Carla and Turk are in danger…because of me. If anything were to happen to them...

Before I am even aware that I'm about to cry my body convulses with a powerful sob. It sounded so loud, echoing in my ears. I bend myself in half and bury my face in my hands.

"I'm so sorry!" My voice is thick and unsteady. It's embarrassing, but I can't stop. "He might come back. He might come here! It's my fault you have to be a part of this. None of you should have to know...should have to worry. I'm so...so sorry. I-I...I should leave."

Yes! Yes. I should leave. My sobs stop almost as abruptly as they started. I straighten up again and wipe off the remaining tears on my cheeks.

"He won't bother you if I'm not here."

Oh my God. I am brilliant. I could almost smile. I have to get moving, he could come at any time. I sniff and maneuver my legs to one side of Dan (who is sitting on the floor directly in front on my chair) and stand up. I have a task. A mission. This is good. No...this is more than good. This is great!

"Scarlet, I don't think that's a very good idea."

What? Yes it is.

"W-what do you mean?"

Dr. Cox finally moves from his spot and steps around Dan and over to me. I follow his movement with my eyes and notice that Turk and Carla have stood up as well. Dr. Cox stops in front of me and places his hands on my shoulders.

"This guy tracked you down at the hospital today. If he really came here the other night that means he has figured out where you live. I'm thinking he would be able to find you if you moved. You need to stay here, where there are people to make sure you're safe. You can't be alone."

"Oh."

My shoulders hunched and my head dropped to my chin. This isn't how this is supposed to work. I'm not supposed to interrupt everyone's lives like this. I'm not supposed to put everyone is harm's way. Dr. Cox takes his hands off my shoulder and I feel someone take my hand and pull me into a hug. It's Carla. My arms feel unnaturally heavy. I don't return the hug. I let my head fall onto her shoulder and the tears start to flow again. I'm so tired. I don't have the energy to control the way my body moves. I can't stop myself from shaking with every sob. My legs feel like jelly and have this sudden fear that I'm going to do that thing where you collapse into a sniveling pile of tears and anguish. They do it all the time in movies. There's been more than enough drama tonight.

"I...I think maybe I should go to bed."

Carla pulls out of the hug finally and wipes my cheeks with her thumb. I flick my eyes up to her face, but I don't leave them there long enough to really look at her. I don't think seeing her eyes would be overly beneficial at this point. I'm pretty sure I can conjure up an accurate image in my head anyway.

"This was exhausting." I try to laugh to lighten the mood some. It just kind of sounds strange and loud in the quiet room.

"Yeah, Bambi. I think that's a good idea."

I nod and start to shuffle my way to my room, my head bowed. I can sense that there are people behind me, following me. I turn to say goodnight and am caught in another attack hug. It's Elliot, and this time I actually return the hug. We don't say anything. She pulls away and steps aside and I find myself staring at Turk's chest.

"Um...thanks for coming...good night guys."

That sounded idiotic. I turn to open my door, but Turk stops me with a hand on my arm. I look at it.

"JD."

I wait.

"Just...come get me if you need anything."

I nod again and finally am able to go to my room and close the door. So that's it. It's been done. They know.

My feet drag me to my bed and I feel myself fall onto it.

They know.

I close my eyes and roll over onto my side, tucking my hands between my knees.

They know!

I feel my face contort with the oncoming tears and I turn my head to silently weep into my pillow.

Everything hits me all at once. Realizing that all my secrets are out in the open now, that everyone will look at me and see what that man did. I will never look the same to them. I just reopened all those wounds. Remembered and relived all the horror. All the guilt. All the fear. All the shame. Everything is here, settling in my chest, creeping up my throat - choking me. There is a gaping hole from today's encounter and I am afraid to fill in. I feel like such a coward. All the things I never wanted to face again are all there. I'm trapped in my room with it. Alone.

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Author's Note: Ok people. I am so sorry that you all waited this long for this piece of crap. I re-wrote the damn thing a couple times. I tried writing out JD telling everyone instead of writing a narration of what he had already said. I nearly had that finished when I decided to try it this way and I think I like this one better. But they were both such utter rubbish that I'm rather embarrassed submitting it at all! So, with a heavy heart I give you this most horrendous chapter. Here's hoping I can write something better for the next chapter! Thanks for bearing with me and I hope you'll stick it out for the next one and forget this chapter ever happened.