Authors Note: Hey! So I got this chapter out with in a month! pretty good right? You should remember what happened in the last chapter since it really wasn't that long ago that I posted it. I hope you in joy this one, its got some fluff, and angst, and drama, and rumors. So I covered most of the bases. My longest chapter too, so feel privliged, or at least rewarded! I do ask to get reviews. I remember when I first started this story, with in 25 minutes of posting a chapter i would have 15 reviews, now, after 5 days I get, maybe, a total of 7. I ask please review, I like critizism. it helps me. If there is something that bothers you, let me know I'll see what I can do. but, please review, i don't even mind the ones that say "update soon please!" I like knowing my story is being read, and that I'm not just attacking Steve (my computer) for nothing. Any way, enjoy, and review!

How Do I Fix My Head?

"Hello, This is 911 what is your emergency?"

"My name is Edward Masen I live on 87 Dale Lane. We have just been threatened." Edward spoke quickly into the phone while I buried myself in his chest, trying to get a hold on myself.

"They will be here in a minute, Bella." I gripped him tighter knowing that he was the only thing that was holding the two sides of me together, the first being the one moving on and focusing on the future, and the other, afraid of what comes with forgetting. Together those two pieces balanced me to remember the right things and forget the bad ones. Apart, one would take prisoner and I have a feeling that the small part of me that wanted to forget, is not strong enough to defeat my tortured other half.

Just then the sound of sirens filled my ears and a cop car pulled into The Masen's drive way. Some one knocked and Edward pulled me along side him to the door. It opened to reveal a tall thin Man in a police uniform. He was looking at us hesitantly as though it might be a prank, but then as he saw my tear stained face, I think he recognized me from the television.

"Edward, what exactly happened?" the officer said as Edward stepped aside for him to enter.

"I don't know, we got home and checked the messages this played." He pressed play again and I put my face once again to his chest. He wrapped his arms around me and hummed in my ear. "Sheriff, I don't know what to do! She has already been through so much." I heard Edward say, though, my hearing was muffled by his embrace.

"Edward, I promise to look in to it, for now, though I'm going to send some one down here to keep an eye on this place. We are going to make sure you are safe at all times. Surrounded. I will do my best to protect you." Sheriff Durden said. I would have thanked him but I was too ripped apart.

Why did this happen to me? Why did someone have to be obsessed with finding me? Why did they need me dead? All I want to do is forget that day happened.

The Sheriff left after a few more cop cars arrived and surrounded the place. Edward called Elizabeth to make sure she would come home right away. Then he carried me up the stairs to my room. He Sat with me on my bed, mostly because I wouldn't let go. He put a finger under my chin and tilted my head to his and kissed me softly on the lips, and then hugged me to him. We lay down and I wouldn't unclench my arms from him. I could not, would not, sleep a lone. This was something I could not face and I needed Edward. He hummed my lullaby, and while it didn't put me to sleep at least I could relax for a while.

I didn't get any sleep and when Elizabeth came home she thankfully allowed Edward to stay with me. I don't know how many hours it was before the sun came up, but when it did, I knew that I hadn't slept at all. Edward was sitting against the headboard, his eyes closed, still with his arms around me. I was glad he was able to get some sleep and I decided to just watch him for a while. He was beautiful in everyway. His lips were soft and squishy in all the right ways, and his face had just the right amount of awkwardness to make it amazing. Of course I was only able to enjoy the view for so long, before my brain repositioned its self on the object of my restlessness.

Why did this have to happen to me? And why when things were going so well? Was I not meant to be happy? Was someone going to take Edward from me soon as well? The though of losing him was worse than losing my own life. Even though I had known him for a little over 2 months and already I had such strong feelings. That was my problem I got too attached. I wish I hadn't gotten Edward mixed up in all of this. If it weren't for me he wouldn't have to worry.

I couldn't stand not hearing his voice any longer so I softly kissed his, as previously mentioned, squishy-in-all-the-right-places lips. He smiled under them and opened his eyes.

"Are you feeling any better?' he asked me.

"Only because you're awake." I said, and immediately regretted it. Who says stuff like that? Couldn't I do anything right? Edward must have seen the look on my face and guessed my thoughts because he kissed me and that cleared my mind quite a bit!

But once I felt the absence of his mouth, I felt the presence of my predator. No matter how much I tried to pretend it wasn't happening, he was looking for me. Who ever he was, he scared me. He took the two people I cared about most, and killed them. I had much more people that I cared about now. What if he came after them?

"You're thinking to much. Just let me in Bella." He said, and then realized what the words could also mean. "Woops, didn't mean it like that! Dirty minded girl." He said shaking his head.

I smiled at him. Knowing that there would be few times to do this in the next few weeks I kissed him again.

"I'm scared Edward. I'm scared he will come for you or for Elizabeth or Alice or Jasper or Rosalie or Emmett. I don't want to be the cause for their lives to end. I'm scared of being taken away from you. I'm scared you'll be taken away from me." I wasn't allowed to keep going because he crushed me to his chest. He kissed my head and started to speak in his ever-calming voice,

"Bella, I won't let any one take you away from me. We have the police for protection and as long as you want me to be, I'll be here. I will never leave you. I know I said before that I loved you but I couldn't even begin to understand what that meant until these past couple of weeks. You are truly amazing. You have been though far too much and I will keep you safe." He said that, and I wanted to believe him. I wanted to think that everything would be okay. I wanted to think that if he protected me I wouldn't feel guilty, but I knew that if he protected me, I would only be responsible for more pain.

How could this boy, this wonderful boy, put him self in danger for me? What was I worth? I'm an orphan, nothing extraordinary about me. My parents died. He shouldn't have to be with some one who has baggage and brings catastrophe when she has nothing to offer.

"Edward, I'm not going to be your burden. If this truly is happening, I don't want you to feel obligated to help me. You shouldn't have to be with some one who causes this much trouble and I can't even give you­­­–––" I was cut off by his lips moving with mine.

"Silly Bella, how could you even conceive that thought? You are not a burden. Don't ever think that again. When I told you that I thought I loved you I wasn't just saying it. I wasn't sure of my feelings then because they were so new, but now. Oh, I know I love you. You think of others before your self. You're the most compassionate girl I have ever met. You are so strong it astounds me and you are mine. I wouldn't have it any other way. That is of course unless you don't feel the same about me." He said the last part looking elsewhere and I turn on the bed so I wasn't sitting on his lap but right in front of him.

"Edward Anthony Masen, I love you more than I can stand it some times." I said forcing him to look at me. He kissed me again then. It was a wonderful kiss. His tongue touched mine in an explosion of hormones and excitement. I don't think I had felt anything as wonderful until that kiss. When the kiss had ended, we got out of bed and I went to take a shower.
Getting to school was, well I dare say it was interesting. Although still scared, I was a bit more relaxed with Edward holding my hand. We were driven to school by a police car with a few others driving behind us. Once we pulled into the school parking lot all eyes were on us. I was never comfortable in those situations and my classmates ever judging eyes were all focused on the cop cars, until Officer Diffner opened the back door and Edward and I climbed out. Every single person in that parking lot who wasn't already looking in our direction, was looking there now, and I couldn't do a thing about it.

The night before we were told that we were going to be escorted every where we went and while have police officers around all the time would be an attention grabber, at least we would be safe.

People were whispering, with one exception of some one yelling "HOLY SHI—"before some one smacked him in the arm. As a precaution, we would have police officers guarding the perimeter of the school, and also there would be one outside of the class that we were currently in.

Once Emmett was told our story, he took it upon himself to be there every time we walked down the hallway. I told him it was completely unnecessary, but he didn't listen. What I had learned about Emmett was that he was extremely stubborn. That's how he got Rosalie to agree to go out with him the first time. He just wouldn't take no for an answer, and eventually she wouldn't either. She fell for it, the charm, the protectiveness, everything.

Jasper having heard every thing was our rock. He just, comforted. He didn't obsess about it like Alice and Rose had, bombarding me with hugs and soothing words. He looked at us, gave Edward and I a small smile, and said,

"I hope this gets better for you, you both deserve it."

After school was over we were escorted back, to the house and I was glad to be there. I hoped so much that I would be able to sleep that night because, well, because that day had been exhausting. Fending off the rumors that were coming at us in all directions was a job all in its own. They ranged from, Edward and I heading an armed robbery to a bank, to Edwards mother was abusing us, that was dispelled quickly when they say that neither of us had any scars. It was ridiculous how fascinated people were with OUR lives.

As Edward and I ate the left over Chicken Parmesan in the fridge, I was completely aware of the Police cars in the drive way and I could feel their presence. Its not like I wasn't grateful for the protection, its just, I felt like a prisoner. I think Edward caught on to my feelings and walked around the table pulled me out of the chair and into his arms. Oh, his arms. They were everything I couldn't possibly imagine. They were warm and inviting, and strong and being there with my face on his chest and my arms around his waist, with his hands rubbing my back, I felt free. I looked up to him and said the words before I could control them.

"You smell really good." Realizing what I said I froze, I felt his chest rumble and I heard him laugh softly, a noise I had survived almost 24 hours with out hearing. I heard him laugh and I couldn't control myself I jumped and wrapped my legs around his waist and kissed him. I guess he was surprised because he didn't catch me right away when I jumped so I had to wrap tightly around him. Then, as any boy would, He wrapped his arms around me and kissed me back.

"We…. Should….go….up…stairs." He said between kisses. I knew what he meant, but I stopped kissing him to look in to his eyes. He was a little confused and then he looked embarrassed.

"No! Not like that, I just mean, I don't want my mom to walk in, and see us, well you know see us, um, like this." He said. I smiled and kissed him again. "I missed that today." He said.

"Missed what?" I said legs still wrapped around his waist, kissing his jaw.

"Your smile." He said walking towards the stairs. He gently unwrapped my legs from around him, and placed me down, grabbing my hand. "Come on, let's tell Steve we're going to bed." He said and we walked to the door and peeked out, Edward told Deputy Steve that we were heading to bed for the night and he nodded and walked back to his post.

As soon as the door was shut I kissed him again. And He grabbed my hand and we ran up the stairs to his bedroom. With the door shut, I mauled him. I kissed his face, his neck, and then finally his lips. I needed to forget that I was being stalked and prowled upon like and animal. The best way to forget is to divulge into something that will help you and make you feel good.

When we had finished with our teenage pleasant war, lips swollen, and adrenaline pumped, I leaned into his chest and smiled brightly. During this wonderful battle his, as well as my, shirt had been removed. I was in my bra and my pants, and he was in his pants with is chest all bare and beautiful. I must admit I had enjoyed it so much that I hadn't wanted to stop, I was pushing for everything, but Edward, being the most amazing person and boyfriend that anyone could have latched on to, stopped us. When I asked why, this is what I was told,

"I love you Bella, deeply and you don't even have an inkling of how much it kills me to refuse you. I won't take this from you when you are vulnerable. I know you love me too, at least I hope to everything in a higher power that you do, but I don't want you to regret this. It's a difficult time in your life and you shouldn't give up something like this because you need a thrill. I want you to be my first time, and I want to be your first time as well, but it won't, can't be just a distraction. So lets leave it here." He said.

"You have no idea how much I love you." I told him.

Authors Note: So there you have it! A nice long chapter with a little bit of everything.(or most things if your going to be particular about it) Now, I am leaving for France in two days, I can garentee that I will not have a chapter for you. But considering that coming home, I will be alone on a plane for 7 hours, I'm sure I can get inspired. so yeah, I probably won't update until after July 10th. Wish me a fun trip! Review please!!

Love,

Bananapenguin, your resident banana fairy!