Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight or any of its characters...meh...

Thanks for all the reviews!! Sorry this took so long, I was limited to about a couple of hours on the computer seeing as they've blocked fanfiction at school *gasp* so unfortunately I'm stuck with my unreliable laptop. This is more of a filler chapter because the major funny part is coming next, but there's still plenty of action so it's not completely useless. Enjoy...

Breakfast at Mallory's

My limbs rebelled as I struggled to sit up. Moonlight streamed through a gap in the curtains and the room was deathly quiet, apart from some strange snorting sound. I thumped my pillow, trying to make the oddly rigid thing more comfortable. It wouldn't budge so I thumped it some more, wriggling about on the bed. Damn pillow.

"Mpfgh..." The pillow emitted a weird noise. I froze. "Ugh..." Suddenly, it began to shift beneath me.

"What the…" I shot upright as realisation dawned upon me.

"Bella?" Ok, that was no pillow.

"Err….err…Edward?" I stuttered. Aw crap! I did not just fall asleep on top of Edward Cullen! I tried to avoid his gaze as I leant over to switch the lamp on. Instead, I ended up colliding with someone else. "Alice? Jazz?" Jasper turned the lights on. Each of the cottages were identical so it was hard to discern which one we were in, though I doubted anyone had moved us out of the Cullen's. Edward sat up on the sofa, stretching his arms out, and Rosalie and Emmett were still laying on the loveseat, Emmett snoring softly. The kids were also sprawled out across the floor, completely unaware of what was going on.

"Wow. I don't remember falling asleep." Alice rubbed her eyes.

"What time is it?" Edward yawned.

"1 o'clock in the morning," Jasper said, glancing at his watch. "How come our parents didn't wake us up?"

"They're probably talking in one of the other houses," Edward guessed. "It's not exactly that late." Sure enough, their cars were parked in the driveway.

"What?" Rosalie began to wake up and the moment she saw Emmett lying to next to her, she bolted off of the sofa.

"Rise and shining, Mr Emmett!" Edward grinned, pulling his brother off the seat. Emmett landed on the ground with a resounding thump.

"OW!" Emmett rubbed his butt. "What did you do that for!?"

"Hey, keep it down!" Alice ordered, dragging us towards the door. "Let the kids sleep. Come on, we'll go over to Bella's house." The night was cool and breezy as we crossed the path to our cottage. I noticed that Edward kept shifting his gaze towards me every now and then, but I tried to focus ahead of me. Meh, why did the embarrassing things always have to happen to me? Then again, it had happened to everyone. Ok, why did I always have to feel the worst about the embarrassing things that happened to me?

"I see you're up," Carlisle raised his eyebrows at us as we stepped into the house.

"Yep." Edward said absent-mindedly. "What time did you guys get home?"

"About 11." Tom admitted. "But we decided to let you lot be."

"It was just too cute!" Mum gushed. My cheeks reddened. Mums, eh?

"Well, I'm going to bed then." I began to trudge up the stairs, even though I didn't feel sleepy at all, after my earlier nap. I just needed time alone.

"Goodnight, Bella." Edward grinned up at me.

"Yeah...night..." I mumbled, before running into my room and screaming elatedly into my pillow. Now this was what pillows were for.

The next day...

Lauren's POV

"WHAT THE HELL DOES MY FATHER PAY YOU FOR!?" I yelled at my incompetent nincompoop of a housemaid, slamming the door shut behind me. This week had been absolutely terrible so far. First, I found out I had the stupid brats, Alec and Jane, dumped on me. Then, father decided to tell me that I wouldn't be getting a new pony this year because apparently we've had to make cutbacks since the credit crunch. I mean, what the hell is that all about? Next thing I knew, I'd broken my nail when I thumped my wardrobe door in frustration. All that money I'd spent getting my nails manicured! Oh, and then there was that idiotic Isabella Swan and her whorish ways. I wretched at the thought of what she could have been doing to poor, man-candy Edward that day in the sports cupboard. Damn, did I want to rip her head off that day! No matter, I knew just how I was going to get my own back. I fluffed up my hair and pulled up my cleavage as I noticed Edward walking through the corridor.

"Mr Cullen!" I purred, smiling at him.

"Miss Mallory." He ruffled his hair a bit. Wow, he was so hot when he did that!

"How did you sleep?" I edged closer to him.

"Err...fine, thanks." He shrugged.

"Say, Edward. How would you like to join me for breakfast in the dining hall this morning?"

"I've already eaten." He said flatly. I knew he had to act like he didn't like me in front of Isabella, but his blatant obliviousness was really starting to get to me. Fine, he could play hard to get. He'd succumb to my devilish ways eventually. Every guy did, so why should Edward be any different?

"Oh, pish posh! I'm sure you have enough room for a couple more pancakes or so? You realise this is the morning when we invite all of our guests to dine with us?" It was some silly idea of father's. He said it would help them get to know each other and develop friendships. As if any of that was important!

"All of your guests?" Edward seemed to perk up a bit. I tried to convince myself it was because he was glad of the moral support. I was aware of the way I made guys feel nervous when they were in my presence. Ah well, beauty can't be helped.

"Of course. As many as are able to spare some time." Luckily, the Swans hadn't turned up to one of our breakfasts in years so I could count on Isabella not being there.

"Well, thanks for the offer, Miss Mallory. I shall let my family know." Edward tried to move past me.

"Anytime," I winked suggestively. "Anything."

Bella's POV

"I can't believe you're actually dragging me along to this thing," I huffed as Alice adjusted my make-up.

"Blame Edward. He was the one that told our parents, and they dragged the rest of you into it as well."

"Yeah, at least we can suffer together." Rosalie rolled her eyes.

"Ugh. Let's get this over with." We sauntered off to the castle dining hall in silence.

"Geez, how long does it take for you guys to get ready?" Jasper sighed, pulling out a seat beside him for Alice.

"Perfection takes time!" Rosalie stated matter-of-factly, settling down next to Emmett. Everyone was seated around a long, narrow mahogany table. Carlisle and Esme were sitting at the very end, next to Mum and Dad. Opposite them were Tom and Amy, Jasper and Alice, then a space, and then Edward. He gestured for me to come sit next to him, in the space, so I ended up opposite Rosalie. Various other holidaymakers occupied the rest of the table, though none in quite as big a group as us. Mr Mallory, the hotel owner sat at the head of the table, Lauren on his right hand side and what I assumed to be his wife, on the other side. Lauren glared at me as I took my place by Edward. I smiled back.

"I'm so glad you could all make it," Mr Mallory greeted us, standing up. "Many of you have been coming here for a very long time and I'm sure you have made friends during your stays so this is a perfect opportunity to catch up with each other as well as meeting our newest residents. Ladies and Gentlemen, I'd like to introduce Dr Carlisle Cullen and his family who have joined us here for the very first time!" Carlisle nodded his head in appreciation. "I hope your visits to Uley prove to be memorable and enjoyable for you and your family. I'd also like to take this opportunity to inform you of our new facilities. Following feedback from last year, we have constructed a small children's play area near the mini golf course as well as jet streams within the indoor pool. Please feel free to make good use of our new features. Now without further ado, let the feasting begin!" A few butlers swarmed in through the doors carrying large silver platters containing various dishes. I accepted them without complaint but to be honest I wasn't really that hungry seeing as Mum had just made me a full English breakfast. The others were equally as reluctant so we only had about a croissant each.

"Is this guy always this boring?" Edward whispered to me as Mr Mallory began another speech about what the resort had to offer and the kind of wood trails we could embark upon.

"Yep." I grinned. "That's why we never come to this breakfast."

"Sorry about that, Lauren dragged me into it."

"I heard my name?" Lauren pulled a chair out for herself next to Rosalie.

"Oh, I was just telling Bella about how I ran into you this morning," Edward rolled his eyes.

"Ah yes, that was most fortunate. So Isabella, I must say I am surprised to see you here." She narrowed her eyes at me.

"It's Bella," Edward clarified.

"Sorry, Bella." Lauren snorted.

"I am a visitor, is it a crime?" I asked.

"No, of course not. It's just that, you rarely come."

"We had a change of heart," Rosalie added, shifting her chair towards Emmett.

"I see. How convenient." Lauren said between gritted teeth.

"Very convenient," Edward grinned.

"Are you sure you don't want anything else to eat?" She leant over the able, facing Edward. "Your plate seems rather empty."

"No, thank you. I told you earlier, we've all eaten already."

"Must have slipped my mind." Lauren shrugged.

"Like everything else," Edward muttered under his breath. I nudged him playfully in the shoulder. Lauren seemed to notice our contact.

"Isabella, may I have a word with you outside?" She got out of her seat.

"Bella." Edward butted in again. I couldn't help but smile at how defensive he got when she called me Isabella deliberately.

"Whatever." Lauren huffed. "Well, can I?"

"Certainly," I smiled at her.

"Are you sure?" Edward gazed up at me, a worried look in his eyes.

"Yep." I took a deep breath, following Lauren out of the room. She led me into the living room and slammed the door shut.

"It's wrong, you know that," She placed her hands on her hips. Ugh, she was wearing that grotesque tartan mini skirt again.

"What's wrong?"

"The way you're taking advantage of Edward."

"And how exactly am I taking advantage of him?" I knew she was going to bring him up.

"By the things you do, and the things you say. Edward might not be able to see how you're literally throwing yourself at him but I can."

"Huh?"

"Like that day when you fell out of the sports cupboard, you were on top of him. I bet he didn't ask for that. Oh and just now, when you hit him."

"I did not hit him. I nudged him!" She was really staring to get on my nerves.

"Sure, that's what you want me to believe. Edward is too much of a gentleman to own up to the fact that he's being abused so I'm going to do it for him." Lauren scowled.

"You are unbelievable Lauren! I know you've hated me from the very beginning and you've just been looking for an excuse to have an argument with me, even if it involves something completely pointless. You really need to get your head sorted Mallory."

"How dare you!? How dare you speak to me like that!? I am the manager's daughter!" She fumed, her face beginning to turn a dark shade of red. I wouldn't have been surprised if she suddenly burst out of her blouse and turned into a red version of the hulk. She definitely had the right attitude.

"How dare you? The customer's always right, remember." I smirked at her.

"Is everything...err...alright, Bella?" Edward poked his head through the door.

"No, it's not alright!" Lauren whimpered.

"What's going on?" He shut the door behind him.

"It's ok, Lauren was just telling me about some of her issues. They're all sorted now." I grinned.

"Issues!?" Lauren yelled.

"She's having a hard time admitting them." I explained, edging towards the door.

"I understand." I think Edward had already picked up on what the argument was about from the way Lauren was looking at him. "Hey, can we go now?"

"Sure." We side-stepped out of the door before Lauren could compose herself.

"What was that really about?" Edward asked as we strolled out onto the lawn.

"She thinks I'm taking advantage of you," I admitted. It was better that he knew.

"Seriously?"

"Yep." I nodded. Edward burst out laughing.

"Ok, I get what you mean about issues!" He shook his head. "Wow, at least you don't have to pretend to get on with her. She's so forward with me, it's sick."

"Well, what can I say? I sure know how to get on people's bad sides."

"Lucky you. Anyway, fancy making a horror film?"

"That was random."

"Yeah. Jasper has to make a film as part of his media project or something and we thought it would be a good idea if we could make it tonight. He has enough characters, plus Alice can do wardrobe, Rosalie can do hair and make-up and Emmett wants to film. We could help him with the storyline, if you want?"

"Sure. Sounds like fun!" I grinned. This should be interesting...

Ok so the next chapter is going to be the film and that was mainly what I wanted to focus on so I decided to make the morning bit up at the last minute. My internet's going a bit funny at the moment so I can't promise it'll be up within the week but I shall do my best. I'd also like to take this opportunity to mention how pleasantly surprised I was by Dr Seuss' Horton hears a who! I'm only telling you because I must tell somebody and I haven't spoken to my friends in like a day...possibly because it's the weekend but anyhow...yeah it's great! Mainly because I'm in love with Jojo, the cutest emo kid ever! Wow, I must sound really sad lol. It is funny though and Jim Carrey is great XD Ok, enough of my ranting. That was random.

Please review :D

Harpz

xx