A/N: OH MY GOSH. SOMEONE KILL ME NOW. PLEASE. JUST WITH A HUGE KNIFE TO THE FACE, LUNGS, CHEST, WHATEVER. PLEASE. I'VE TYPED UP THIS HUGE AUTHOR'S NOT THREE MOFO-ING TIMES AND YET MY STUPID INTERNET CONTINUES TO ATTEMPT OT REFRESH WHILE I'M TYPING AND THEN GO TO THE UNNABLE TO CONNECT PAGE BECAUSE MY INTERNET SUCKS. I REALLY HATE REPEATING MYSELF, LIKE REALLY HATE IT, SO NOW I'M JUST A LOT PISSED OFF. Okay. I have no exceses for the long update, other than my laziness and innability to write because I jdon't know, writers block i guess. That plus it was my birthday and I went to NY for a while and stuff. Whatever. This story has veered off its original course and taken a more serious route. It will still have comedy (I guess, I never actually intended for this to be that funny or anything, but appenrently I'm a lot funnnier than I imagined) but i has more serious themes, for example kidnapping. I can't satisfy everyone, but I will try. So, I will be writing two alternate endings, one will be pairing neutral (meaning none) and the other will be Soul/Kid(Kid/Soul? who do you guys want to be on top? or like, both. I can do anything really). Thank you all for putting up with me for so long. Love you all, really.

Disclaimer: I do not own Soul Eater or anything in this fic that could be considered copywrited. I don't own My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic(which is where the oatmeal thing came from). Toppannahok whatever VA is a city chosen while I was on the road and passing through. I am not affiliated with this town in any way and neither live near or around it, or know anyone actually living at this location.

Chapter 10: The KIDnapping: Soul and Kid's problems?

The pounding of music resounded throughout the halls of the school. Meisters, Weapons, and Teachers alike gathered within a large room. Valentines decorations adorned the walls and ceiling. Hearts, red and pink streamers, punch bowls, and small party snacks filled the room. Most of those in attendance swayed with the steady beat of today's top twenty hits.

The group of seven danced a bit and hung out at a table close to the dancefloor. Soul and Liz were munching on snacks while Maka, Patti, and Tsubaki danced to the music. Kid was trying to stop Black*Star from destroying everything as he jumped around with his usual enthusiasm.

"And then I said, oatmeal, are you craz-" Soul was saying before abruptly stopping within his joke. He was glancing off towards the double doors of the room. Liz turned to see what he was looking at and saw a white haired, red-eyed, beautiful girl smile and wave at Soul. Marylyn!

Liz waved her over excitedly. Marylyn waved back at Liz and began walking to their table. Soul turned wide eyes on Liz. Didn't she remember the intervention meeting where they literally threw her out of the house because she was a Sue? Why is she calling her over? Not cool, Liz.

"Hey! Long time no see!" Liz shouted over the music to her. Soul's jaw dropped and he saw Kid out of the corner of his eye staring at them, confused. Marylyn sat down at a free chair at their table.

"Yeah, I've been really busy lately. Sorry about that." Marylyn leaned against the table and snatched a strawberry off of Soul's snack plate. He continued to blatantly gape at her and she just winked. He snapped his mouth shut and narrowed his eyes at her.

He suddenly noticed her eyes. They seemed... different somehow. Soul could see something off about them. With a jolt he realized she was crazy. She had fallen off her rocker, and she had fallen hard. There was madness within her red orb's depths and it threw Soul off. It was odd, seeing such madness in eyes so like his own, they were almost identical. Except her's glinted crazy.

"So Soul, how are you? It's been a while, hasn't it." She spoke with obvious malice, but Liz still didn't notice. Soul just narrowed his eyes at her.

"What's going on?" Kid suddenly appeared from the dance floor. He glared at the Sue, suspicion clear in his golden eyes.

"What do you mean, Kid? I've just been out of town for a bit. You know that," she said. There was an airy quality about her voice, one that made it seem almost a threat and only assisted in making her madness plain and clear.

"Yeah Soul, you should know that. She's your sister." Liz shot him an accusatory look along with a nervous giggle. Kid grabbed Soul's sleeve and dragged him away. They went off to a relatively vacant corner of the room.

"Soul. We have a very serious problem. I don't know if you realize this, but there is a Mary Sue at our table that looks suspiciously like Marylyn Suzanne," he whispered, though it was loud enough to hear above the thrum of music.

"Kid. Seriously. What. Kid. Oh my- seriously? Have you lost 80% of your brain? Of course that's the Mary Sue. You idiot," Soul dead-panned. "I don't know how, but she's made Liz forget that we outed her as a Mary Sue."

Kid opened his mouth to speak, but he was startled into silence when the rest of their group joined Liz and Marylyn at the table. They all seemed to not remember anything other than the fact that she went away for a while. It disgusted the pair looming in the corner of the room. Some people were giving them odd looks, but the two didn't seem to notice.

The two of them walked back to the table where all the friends and the SheBeast were sitting. Their tense shoulders and narrowed eyes didn't get passed Patti, who had been watching them since they had sat down. It was with a smile that she inquired about these features.

"What's up guys?" It was a simple question, but one they weren't really inclined to answer. Kid smiled at her (a perfectly symmetrical smile, mind you) and spoke reassuringly to her. Soul was preoccupied watching and eavesdropping on the Mary Sue to really pay attention to what he said.

Soul and Kid shared a look, one that said they were going to handle this when the others weren't around. It would be too much of a hassle to attempt to get them to remember, and it's possible that the Sue would just throw some more mind tricks and ruin all of their progress, as she had already done.

~~~~~~Nothing~~and~~Everything~~~~~~

The walk home was relatively quiet. Black*Star and Tsubaki had drifted off earlier to get back to their home and Patti and Liz ran off as well. Kid planned on having a chat with Soul about their little 'problem' so he was walking with them. Maka and Marylyn were up a little in front of them speaking quietly enough that the boys didn't hear them.

Soul and Kid were quiet in fear of the SheBeast overhearing anything they say. The inhuman creature could have better hearing than them, they don't know. The, what some refer to as, Author (in theory) could create anything to feature this beast. Better hearing, eyesight, intuition, looks, brains, anything!

But they digress. Approaching the door, Soul and Kid decided to go for a walk and figure out a plan. Maka gave them a most awkward look, one they could not decifer, and they honestly didn't want to. The Sue shot them an evil glare, but Soul thought he saw her plump lips quirk up in a smile before entering the home and shutting the door.

~~~~~~~~~Read~~~the~~~Author's~~~Note~~~~~~~~

Marylyn excused her/itself from Maka's presence to "use the restroom". This was, obviously, a lie. The Sue snuck out through a window in the bathroom and morphed it's skin back to it's original form, which some would describe as a large black mass or shadow like form with eyes red a rubies. Mary Sue society considered Marylyn one of the more beautiful Sue's, but the business made her change into these beautiful human creatures.

Marylyn loved the human males. They were fascinating. The imperfection was perfection. The Gary Stu's back home were all too perfect and troubled. She liked the simpler look and mind of the regular human males. It was such a shame that there were so many dimensions where the stories were manipulated into slash stories. Although Mary Sue enjoyed those (probably more than was natural), she didn't like missing out on so many young human males.

Marylyn removed these thoughts from her mind and searched for what she knew she would find. Back alleys and main road, the black blur flew through. It searched the rooftops until she spotted them. The two small, yet very attractive males, were furiously discussing something behind a small Irish pub. It was a seedy area, but they didn't seem to be afraid, considering Soul's arm turned into a giant blade (which Marylyn had to admit was pretty freaking awesome) and Kid was the son of Lord Death (which she also had to admit was super cool).

Now all she had to do was wait for the concoction she slipped into their drinks at the party to take effect. Any minute now...

~~~~~~~~Down~~~~Below~~~~~~~~

"-ut we could a-als-so..." Kid trailed off as he was hit with a sudden bout of dizziness. "O-oh maaaannn," he slurred.

Soul began to tip over as well, both of them falling onto each other and hitting the floor. They both rolled onto their backs, the world spinning and multiplying in front of their drug effected eyes.

A noise came out of Soul's mouth, which might have meant something in his head, but had no meaning in the outside world. He was out before Kid, but he does remember spotting a pair of familiar red eyes on the rooftop of a nearby building.

Kid stayed conscious for a few moments longer than Soul, allowing him to spot the large black shadow approach their fallen bodies, before succumbing to the darkness as well.

~~~~~~~~~~Serious~~~~business~~~~~~~~~

Late at night in Tappahannock, Virginia, a self proclaimed "random" girl of thirteen sat in her powder blue painted room, her fingers moving furiously over her eight hundred dollar laptop typing up commands for her Mary Sue. She watched on the screen as a large black mass dragged away two male assumably male figures into the night.

She used as many descriptive adjectives as she could to describe the evening weather and sky. She only had a few friends that did what she did, and two of them were avid slash writers/readers.

The girl laughed evilly into the night sky, her plan playing out before her eyes and under her fingertips.

That is until her stupid mom yelled at her to keep it down. She stuck her tongue out at the door and went back to smashing the keyboard while chuckling evilly instead.

~~~~~~~~~Chuckle~~Snicker~~Giggle~~~~~~~~

Marylyn shuddered. The ominous laughter from above reminded her that if she slipped up, the punishment would be great. The bleeding moon from above laughed along with her and Marylyn quickened her pace, dragging her helpless, drugged, victims off to the abandoned home a few streets over.

~~~~~~~~KIDnapping~~~~~~~~

Soul awoke with a jolt. He was used to waking up with the large breasts of Blair in his face. That or a smack to the head with one of Maka's various books. The uncomfortable feeling of ropes rubbing against his bare arms, wrists, and the jeans adorning his legs were indication enough that he was tied up.

His headband was moved over his eyes, so he couldn't see anything unless he looked straight down and could spot a little bit of his own white shirt through the small gaps provided by his nose, meaning someone removed his jacket. He turned his head up to see if he could see the room, but the back of his head slammed against the back of the chair he was sitting on. This caused the makeshift blindfold to slip up a bit and cover his eyes completely.

Soul sat, head throbbing and now completely blind, in the silence of wherever he was. He had watched enough scary movies to keep his mouth shut and continue pretending to be knocked out.

His head, that he had laid against the back of the chair, shot up once more when he heard a groan to his left. He turned his head, even though he knew he wouldn't be able to see anything.

"Soul? Why are you blindfold-owww my head," Kid gowned. Soul (accurately) deduced that he was not blindfolded as Soul was.

Kid looked around the relatively empty room. There were no windows and just a small light from a door way at the top of a flight of narrow stairs. The light shined bright and yellow, artificially, on Soul. It was unnerving but at least it allowed Kid to see that he was blindfolded.

"Kid! What's going on. Where are we? What can you see?" Soul attempted to stay calm and in control, but his nervousness could be heard through his voice.

"I don't know, there are some stairs and the light is on and-" Kid was immediately silenced by the sound of footsteps up the stairs. He struggled in his own bonds for a few moments until the feet began walking upon the stairs. A wall blocked Kid from view of the person, and Soul was blindfolded, but they both assumed the person, or thing, holding them was Marylyn Suzan.

"Hello boys!" With surprise, Kid gazed upon the figure of a child, about thirteen, curtained in black fur robes. She held a kingly staff and had a red and gold crown atop her head. Her feet were clad in heels, but they were short enough for a thirteen-year-old to walk comfortably in.

Said heels clacked against the concrete floor of the basement of wherever they were. She walked up to Soul and glared at him for a moment. After she shot her eyes at Kid, she spoke aloud, presumably directed towards Soul.

"Well. . . You have been a thorn in my side this entire endeavor. If you had just joined your stupid little friends, you would have all been blissfully unaware and everything would have worked out fine. Now. Well, now I have to force Kid to fall in love with her, and you to somehow think you have, and have always had, a twin sister. The easier way to go would be to just erase all of your memory and act like it happened in a freak accident. That, or you could just go along with it."

Kid could see, by the small light provided, that she had artificially straightened hair that was asymmetrically parted, which Kid twitched at, that reached below her shoulders. It was also asymmetrically highlighted. Another twitch. She reached small, yet slender fingers out to sensually touch Soul's face. She ran her fingers along his jaw as she walked around him and continued speaking.

"Oh Soul. If you had gone along with it in the first place we wouldn't be in this mess. It would have been easier for Marylyn to seduce Kid, and the story would have had a happy, sappy, lovey-dovey ending. Unfortunately, you got in the way and now your tied to a chair, blindfolded, at an unknown(at least for you) location, with Kid tied up right beside you(not blindfolded, we ran out of material) and you're about to loose every memory you've ever had, happy or sad. Oh I rhymed. I rock." She said the last part(the, oh I rhymed) quietly to herself, but every other word held a weight that rested on Soul's already sore shoulders.

"I will do everything in my power to make this situation as annoying for you as possible," said Soul. He struggled for a minute before stopping. "W-what?" After his whisper, he began to struggle even harder. "What did you do to me?" He yelled in the general direction he thought the girl was. Which was completely opposite of where she was standing. She was no novice with heels! She could prance around the entire basement, soundlessly!

She laughed, " Oh Soul, you silly boy! Why I gave you a shot, of course, that stops any and all changing into weapons! Honestly, how stupid do you think I am?" She spoke lightheartedly but her words were like a punch to the face for Soul.

"U-unable... to... change? No, that-that isn't possible!" He panicked for a moment before getting his groove back. No Soul, freaking out wouldn't be cool. Stay cool.

She laughed again, her voice going annoyingly high on the last syllable. "Yes it is. Very. In fact, I have bottles of it, so even if it does wear off while your still memory intact, I can just stab you with another and take it away longer!" She sure acts like a sadistic, giddy, child, thought Kid.

Soul groaned and turned his face downward. He refused to have his face towards that stupid little kid that got the best of them. It was insulting and Soul knew it was far from cool to let some thirteen-year-old to get him and Kid.

The girl grabbed his chin between fake fingernails and pulled his head up. She reached up to remove the blindfold, but her train of thought seemed to crash and burn because seconds later, she threw his head down and walked swiftly up the stairs.

Kid wasn't sure but he could've sworn he heard her mumbling something about her muffins cooling for too long, but he didn't think this to be true.

"Soul, what's the plan." Kid turned to Soul and waited for an answer.

"I can't change. I can't get out of these ropes. I can't see anything. She took my jacket! I'm cold Kid! It's cold here! I don't have a plan! I'm freezing and blinded and brain-dead." He laid his throbbing head, still sore from smacking it on the chair earlier.

Kid attempted to mess with the knots, but they were tight and expertly tied. It would only burn his skin. Now thinking about the roughness of the frayed ropes, Kid's eyes roamed to Soul's arms. They were red and scratched, but they weren't bleeding.

Suddenly a shadow appeared and Marylyn stuck her head down. "Have you guys seen the master? She was just here. Her UFO is still outside too. And the muffins are cool, so I'm assuming she's in the building. She down there with you guys?" Called the Sue, a little too casually.

Soul began shouting obscenities at it and the SheBeast slammed the door shut with a grunt of annoyance.

The only light having left the room, Kid was rendered blind as well and he deemed it safe enough to nap. He was still slightly groggy from the drugs. He slipped into unconsciousness, Soul following suit moments later.

A/N: Again, sorry, sorry. Long updates and inability to satisfy fans are two of my more annoying issues. Thank you all, R/R. I love you guys, you're keeping me going. (Oh and by the way, sorry about the poor readability of the last version and the notification even though it isn't a new chapter)