Insanity
Chapter 10
By PockyWhore
My god Itachi,
How long had you been planning it?
My breath caught in my throat when a pair of sky blue eyes opened, blinking a few times, before locking gaze with me through the small window of the isolation room. I could see the slight surprise in his eyes and then he smiled up at me from his place on the floor, then he frowned as if realizing something.
My hand subconsciously went up to my neck in realization too. Naruto was still beating himself up over what had happened before. The blond turned his face away and he wouldn't meet my gaze again.
The silence stretched out for what seemed like forever. Neither of us knew what to say or how to say it. There was so much I wanted to ask Naruto, so much about him that I didn't know, that he had kept secret from me. I wanted to yell at him and demand answers but at the same time I wanted so badly to just curl up in a ball somewhere and cry. At one point everything in my life had made sense, in a twisted kind of way, at least I understood, now everything I thought I knew seemed irrelevant.
Then I remembered the night on the roof and things made even less sense.
"What the hell,"
"You some kind of whore or something Sasuke?"
"I ain't good enough for ya?"
"Or do ya just want to fuck that Gaara guy or the Itachi one."
If Naruto had known Itachi, then why had he said those things as if he hadn't?
I winced at the memory and my head throbbed from the wound from before. Shacking it off I knocked lightly on the window trying to get the blond boy to look at me, or at least acknowledge that I was even there. But he wouldn't. His bangs cast his eyes in shadows off to one side and I couldn't even tell if they were closed or not. Although I knew he wasn't asleep. I could tell by the tense posture and uneven breaths that he was far, far from sleep, although he did look to be lost in thought.
I sighed getting mildly irritated now. I wanted answers, and I wanted them straight from the horse's mouth. I knocked on the window slightly harder, not caring that at any moment one of the evening shift nurses could walk down the hall and shoo me away. But Naruto didn't respond. I knocked again and again, harder and harder until I was practically pounding at the window begging for his attention.
"Naruto." I spoke in a voice angrier than I had intended.
I saw the other boy flinch at the sound, but other than that he made no movements.
"Naruto." My voice was softer this time, but he didn't move.
"Naruto, please." I knew I was begging now and I was reminded of a time when the tables had been turned and it had been him trying to talk to me and I wished now that at the time I hadn't denied him.
I gave up when I saw him move even further into a corner away from the door. He wasn't going to talk to me tonight and that was that. I let my head fall forward and my forehead rested against the cool glass of the windowpane. Why is he so stubborn? Every ounce of anger from before was put on hold. I'd gone years not knowing the truth about Itachi, and I couldn't go another second without the truth.
I looked back in through the window one last time still clinging to some hope that Naruto would answer me, or just look at me, but he didn't. This boy huddled in a corner eyes hidden by darkness looked nothing like the bright eyes boy in the picture. I shook my head trying to erase the picture from my mind. I wasn't going to go there, at least not right now. I'd finally gotten my emotions somewhat under control, thinking of that picture now would only weaken my resolve.
But every time I think back on it my blood boils.
I could feel the cool glass against my forehead that was still resting on the window, I indulged in the feeling for a brief moment before standing up, fully prepared to go back to my room and just sleep all of everything away. I felt so tiered, much more than I should have.
At least for tonight, answers would have to wait.
As soon as I stood up my legs felt like rubber. I almost fell forwards but I caught myself on the wall directly opposite from the isolation room door. I tried to straighten myself out and walk but I couldn't. Everything was spinning and I couldn't breathe easily. I leaned against the wall and closed my eyes trying to get myself together, but every time I opened my eyes the hall would spin again and I had to fight to keep down my lunch.
The back of my head throbbed terribly.
I stood completely still breathing slowly, eyes clamped shut. This time when I opened them again the room didn't tilt. I pushed off the wall and took a step forward, but suddenly I felt light and the ground felt like clay beneath my feet.
Barley had I taken one more step when I felt my whole body give under me.
I fell to the hard tiled ground of the hallway and Naruto's yell barley registered in my brain before my head cracked sickeningly against the floor and everything went black.
I groaned as light shone on my sleep dilated eyes. My whole body ached, and I hurt in placed I never even knew I had.
And Oh god did my head hurt.
I groaned and tried to turn away from the source of light but every time I tried to move my head stung and my body protested. I hissed at the painful sensation coursing through me, but I stayed still and it soon passed. I opened my eyes and blinked a few times, letting them adjust. Once I could see again and everything wasn't one big blur, I immediately recognized the plain white caked ceiling that I've known almost all my life.
I sighed out loud and closed my eyes again. I vaguely remembered what had happened and it did make sense considering that my head hurt the way it did. I brought a hand up and rubbed my temple reliving some of the tension in my body.
"Finally awake eh?"
The voice brought all kinds of emotions to the surface but my head hurt to much to think right now.
I turned my head lazily towards the voice, only to see blue eyes that the night before wouldn't even look at me. Sitting on the floor next to my bed was Naruto. I blinked down at him, but he just smiled.
"How are you feeling?" he asked
"Like I got run over." And it was the truth.
He just kind of half smiled up at me and held out 3 cups. My brow rose and I pulled myself up so that I was sitting against the wall behind my bed, wincing. I looked over the cups, finding my regular medicine and water in one and 3 white aspirin pills in the last. Oh, sweet asprin.
"Naruto, I think I love you." I drawled and reached for the cup of aspirin.
He just smiled up at me again before pulling the cup to just out of my reach.
"I take that back." I sighed under my breath.
Standing up he finally handed me the cups and I downed all three of them before looking back at him. For some reason the photo came to mind and I found that I couldn't look him in the eye again. I just couldn't, he knew my brother, and he adored my brother, the man that has caused me so much pain.
I wanted so badly to just beat the answers out of the blond, but at the same time, I didn't want to know. I knew things would never be the same once the truth was out in the open.
"Sasuke?"
I looked up, but I wouldn't meet his gaze. I stared off at something past his shoulder.
"Sasuke." His voice was sterner this time.
He stepped forward and gripped my chin between his hand and forced my eyes to meet his. I smacked his hand away and flinched away from him.
I didn't want to be touched.
Not by him.
Not right now.
"I give up." He muttered under his breath.
His voice got louder. "I fucking give up Sasuke! Why do we keep doing this? We keep going round in this circle of being mad at each other. Why? Last night it was me, now it's you. Why are we so afraid of each other Sasuke? Answer me."
For a minuet I didn't answer.
I didn't know what to say.
"Sasuke, why is it like this? Why is it that we keep playing this game?" He's whispering now, and he's so close to me.
"Sasuke, Do you know how scared I was when you fell. You weren't moving and no one was around. I couldn't get out of the damn room. You were just laying their Sasuke. I didn't know what to do. And it had to be that damn Sakura girl that found you. Why is it always her?"
He's so close to me that I can feel his breath against my cheek and I can feel his hair against my neck.
"Naruto don't." I know that I'm whispering too, but I felt like if I spoke any louder that all of it would end.
"Why Sasuke?"
"Just don't Naruto."
"Fine." He says after a moment before he pulls away completely.
Half of me was happy that he'd listened to me,
But the other half of me wished he had stayed close.
TBC